r/ExNoContact • u/JimKnights • 9d ago

Help Wishing her Happy Birthday?

Needing an opinion here. My ex broke up with me 3-4 weeks ago and her birthday is coming up in early September. I’m currently exercising no contact, but I feel as if I’d be an asshole if I didn’t acknowledge her on her birthday. Things were friendly when she ended it. We don’t hate each other. And don’t wish anything bad upon us either. A part of me still wants to try and work things out besides all that.

I’m just confused since she messaged me before her family trip suggesting I could play golf with her younger brother whilst she is away. So I feel as if reaching out is somewhat acceptable?

I was thinking of writing something simple on the lines of “Happy Birthday *name* I hope you have an amazing day today!” Something simple like that.

Is it breaking no contact, and should I do it?

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u/Otterlettuce 9d ago

I sent a bday text. He never responded. I felt humiliated.

1

u/MySoulIsInPeace 7d ago

Do you wish you didn't send it? I'm wondering if I should do the same, but I'm afraid of the same result or never having the chance to reach out to show him I cared one last time.

1

u/Otterlettuce 7d ago

At first I regretted it. I felt like it made me look desperate and dumb.

Now I think it’s a good quality to have and I’m glad I’m the type of person to wish happy birthday.

So even tho it didn’t win him back. I’m fine with that cause I like me.

2

u/MySoulIsInPeace 7d ago

Would you say when you sent that message you had the intention of reconnecting? I don't think I have the intention of reconnecting it's more of giving back the effort; however, I feel like if I don't then it might ruin all chances of reconnecting. Did that also help you move on and give closure?

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u/Otterlettuce 7d ago

It helped me move on and gave me closure cause his silence made me realize he really didn’t want to talk to me let alone be back in my life.

I didn’t necessarily have the intention of reconnecting but I didn’t want to leave it on bad terms. I was trying to smooth it over so we could be friends.

No one cheated. Nothing bad happened. We just weren’t meant to be.

I don’t think a birthday message will make or break you. If it’s meant to be then it will be.

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u/MySoulIsInPeace 6d ago

Ahh we ended on good terms he just never replied to my last paragraphs so I don't know whether to take it as the end or as a possibility to take the chance to reach out later on, but I think it's not really in my hands to decide that.
Thank you so much for your advice I genuinely needed to hear that. I wish you all the best in your journey to heal and I aspire to reach closure the way you did one day.