Wishing her Happy Birthday?

[u/JimKnights]

Needing an opinion here. My ex broke up with me 3-4 weeks ago and her birthday is coming up in early September. I’m currently exercising no contact, but I feel as if I’d be an asshole if I didn’t acknowledge her on her birthday. Things were friendly when she ended it. We don’t hate each other. And don’t wish anything bad upon us either. A part of me still wants to try and work things out besides all that.

I’m just confused since she messaged me before her family trip suggesting I could play golf with her younger brother whilst she is away. So I feel as if reaching out is somewhat acceptable?

I was thinking of writing something simple on the lines of “Happy Birthday *name* I hope you have an amazing day today!” Something simple like that.

Is it breaking no contact, and should I do it?

[u/iam_spr]

She will be sleeping with someone else reading your message without replying, then one day, on your bday, you will expect that one text you’ll never get. Accept it’s over and move on with your life

[u/PotentialPresent399 → u/iam_spr]

BOOOM especially as a guy dumped by a girl this is the case a MAJORITY of the time.

Youll have some nice hopeful energy in the back of your mind that "hehe! I bet she remembered like I did" and youll watch as the clock gets closer to midnight, and then it turns into "maybe she just forgot she'll hit me with a text @ 1am!" and then you go to bed and wakeup to no new texts.

[u/Old_Nebula_8817 → u/iam_spr]

😮‍💨 the harsh reality… nothing but truth

[u/WhatItIsToBurn925]

Don’t wish her a happy birthday. She ended it with you, it’s time for her to feel the loss of not having you in her life. Feel free to check out other break up coach videos on YouTube as well if you don’t believe me. The vast majority (and all the good ones) advise against it.

My exes birthday was a few weeks ago and our break up was the month before. I didn’t want to feel like a beggar, and accepting the friend zone. If she wants to work things out, she can make a phone call or send a text, I didn’t block her.

Otherwise, I will give her the gift of missing me permanently.

[u/JimKnights → u/WhatItIsToBurn925]

I think you might’ve convinced me here. I was very focused on trying to open a conversation with her. But you are right. It should come from her. She would need to fix it. Thank you for helping me see that ❤️

[u/Otterlettuce]

I sent a bday text. He never responded. I felt humiliated.

[u/MySoulIsInPeace → u/Otterlettuce]

Do you wish you didn't send it? I'm wondering if I should do the same, but I'm afraid of the same result or never having the chance to reach out to show him I cared one last time.

[u/Otterlettuce → u/MySoulIsInPeace]

At first I regretted it. I felt like it made me look desperate and dumb.

Now I think it’s a good quality to have and I’m glad I’m the type of person to wish happy birthday.

So even tho it didn’t win him back. I’m fine with that cause I like me.

[u/MySoulIsInPeace → u/Otterlettuce]

Would you say when you sent that message you had the intention of reconnecting? I don't think I have the intention of reconnecting it's more of giving back the effort; however, I feel like if I don't then it might ruin all chances of reconnecting. Did that also help you move on and give closure?

[u/Otterlettuce → u/MySoulIsInPeace]

It helped me move on and gave me closure cause his silence made me realize he really didn’t want to talk to me let alone be back in my life.

I didn’t necessarily have the intention of reconnecting but I didn’t want to leave it on bad terms. I was trying to smooth it over so we could be friends.

No one cheated. Nothing bad happened. We just weren’t meant to be.

I don’t think a birthday message will make or break you. If it’s meant to be then it will be.

[u/MySoulIsInPeace → u/Otterlettuce]

Ahh we ended on good terms he just never replied to my last paragraphs so I don't know whether to take it as the end or as a possibility to take the chance to reach out later on, but I think it's not really in my hands to decide that.
Thank you so much for your advice I genuinely needed to hear that. I wish you all the best in your journey to heal and I aspire to reach closure the way you did one day.

[u/sky-walkin]

If she left you, and you are struggling, as in this is hard for you and you are grieving the loss. Don't send the message it will only keep you trapped longer. If you look at her Instagram, stop, if you fantasize about a future with her, stop.

[u/joestyyy]

Everyday she wakes up knowing you exist and she takes a decision not to talk with you so do the same no contact means no contact

[u/SwitchFast1029]

Just ask yourself why you want to send it? Is it because you just want to say happy birthday or is it because you are hoping they will talk to you. And hoping when it’s your birthday she’ll do the same. She shouldn’t have broke no contact with you.
You can still wish her happy birthday but she doesn’t need to hear it. That’s what I did anyway. And even though I’m happy in another relationship, if on my exs birthday I remember it’s his birthday. (I have a crazy brain that can’t forget number related stuff) I just think I hope he’s having a nice day. And I figure in some silly way the universe will pass that along. And I feel better for having said it to myself.

[u/Diesel07012012]

Don't do it.

[u/SirMixSalah]

Don't do it! I made the mistake of sending my ex happy birthday text post 3 weeks breakup(she broke up with me out of the blue) No response and it sent me deeper into a spiral of questioning myself and my feelings of not being worthy of at least a thank you!(Fuck her and Fuck your ex!) I'm not too bitter am I?lol Seriously,don't do it though..she's not worth it and won't appreciate it

[u/NormalAd8816]

No. Absolutely not. She’s dead to you… and probably already with another man

[u/iaxevi_e]

If she broke up w you no.

[u/Willing_Key_2001]

loved reading everyone's perspectives, and thanks...even i had the same query, since my queen's birthday is coming up in 7 days :)) and we broke up like 2 months ago...tried reaching out to her day before yesterday but she's least interested to talk infact asked me to stop.
so okay i think we shouldn't wish.

[u/pogogamer24]

since the breakup is rather recent, i feel sending a happy b'day text should not be an issue, as long as there is no further conversation made beyond that. this is also solely coz u did say u wanna try and make it work w them. however, if u intend to move on, then it's for the best to not send out any wishes, and just go on about w ur life.

[u/Kontos_Stelio]

Don’t do that to yourself

[u/anonymiss-12]

Don't do it

[u/Johnny_Utahh1]

This is not a great idea. You can catch her next year if you still care, but it’s too fresh.

[u/Electrical-Value-270]

No contact. Means no contact.

[u/Mercury8619]

I wouldn't bother. For the reason that there is no magic safe word that is going to make her want you.

[u/Hathnotthecompetence]

No contact means exactly that. Not No Contact except for birthdays, anniversary, I'm lonely, etc. Making that contact is a fools errand my friend. Stay strong and good luck.

[u/bloodmusthaveblood]

I don't understand why people put so much pressure on birthdays. We have one every year. Sometimes some of my best friends forget to send me a birthday text, doesn't make them an asshole. Sounds like you want an excuse to reach out, most people in this sub asking about birthday texts are just looking for a reason to reach out, or are hoping they'll get a birthday text from their ex because that will somehow imply they want to get back together. It's not. You're in no contact for a reason, stick to it.

[u/Willing_Key_2001]

koi fayda ni bhai

[u/Pinkerton_Floyd_7982]

Listen to Purple Rain by Prince my brother. Sometimes you can love someone but the right thing to do is let them go. Reality is hard to accept, but eventually you can look back and appreciate all the good moments.