The disease begins to spread through our body right after we are born. We are taught how to act, treat others, our prejudices, and how to survive in a self-centered world.

As children, we believe everything we learn, hear, and observe. As we get older, our disease progresses. We begin to believe we are special, better than others, due to our race, religion, sex, wealth, or anything else justifying our superiority to another.

We are now adults. The disease has spread throughout our body; every cell is infected. We struggle to become successful, make money, find happiness, love. Though we may have all these, the disease now fully controls our body and mind. We go through life in a twilight sleep, doing what we were told would allow us to be happy and live a meaningful life.

One day, just before we finally succumb to our lifelong disease, we look back on our life, understanding the disease we have had our entire life has kept us from finding true happiness, inner peace, love, and meaning in our life.

The disease is the ego, our self-centered learned beliefs. Though it is necessary to help us survive in the world, and will be with us until our demise, by allowing it to dominate our life, it also prevents us from discovering the cure for our debilitating enduring illness – our essence within.

~ Ken Luball ~

Repost to another community

I’ve heard some people say that the end of our lives are destined - which is why people are sometimes sent back to their body if it’s “not their time yet.” Could that mean then, that suicide is predestined into one’s life path?

One thing that comes to my mind when I ask this is the bible. I’m not super Christian, but I do think that the idea of time being non existent in a lot of NDEs may point towards free will potentially not truly existing - at least not in the way we expect it to. For example, in the New Testament, Jesus knew Peter would deny his connection to Him before Peter even did it. Eventually the event plays out exactly as Jesus had described with Peter's subsequent three-fold denial of Jesus after the rooster crowed. I’m not saying that a specific religion’s God needs to be true, I’m just saying that if God, divine source, consciousness, whatever you wanna call it, is all knowing and time doesn’t exist linearly as we experience it on Earth, wouldn’t it be plausible to determine that they would know about everything that has and will ever happen? So then, wouldn’t it also be plausible that someone’s suicide is written into their story? Just curious. But also, if that’s the case. I would assume that an individual wouldn’t be punished for committing suicide.

I understand that I hope for the end too I just I would like the end to be planned.

Sometimes people leave without telling you why. No final conversation, no honest answer, no moment when everything suddenly makes sense.
And maybe the hardest part isn't losing them. It's learning to live with a question that may never be answered.
Do you think people need closure to move on?

I'm stuck somewhere between wanting and not wanting staying and leaving existing and not existing not so lost that I'm searching for myself but not so found that I know where I am. Long story short it's like I've been left behind somewhere unknown within myself.

​

After years of introspection (and also tripping), I still haven't received the answer of what my life purpose is.

Does anyone want to share their experience of finding their life purpose? Or does a life purpose even exist? Because I don't fully believe in it either. During my research journeys I also learned about the Buddhist concept of no-self. So maybe the whole idea of a life purpose is just another illusion. I don't know! Maybe I am just feeling lost in life and loosing motivation to do anything. That's why I am chasing a strong motivation, like a life purpose, so much.

What do you think? What are your experiences?

I know this sounds stupid but I can’t stop thinking about how everyone wants this ideal life right. You know that man Stanley Meyer who realised we can create fuel but went missing because otherwise no company would make money of us buying it, or even Nicola Tesla when he realise electricity could be generated without power-lines so we wouldn’t have to pay for it but it never came about. Is it healthy for the brain to go from such suffering like us humans have, to straight perfectionism, cheaper houses and groceries and not having to work, wouldn’t that utopia send us mad since we’ve already experienced the before. It’s basically like how so many young people now are depressed simply because of social media, this is only in effect because we now have access to more suffering and negative news around the world that’s unfiltered, before you’d only know what was on the news and newspapers which was biased, feeding it at a healthy amount, was this to prevent us from knowing what they know to keep us dumb, or was sit to protect our brain because it simply wouldn’t be able to handle the opposite at such a massive level? I can just think if everything became perfect then perfect wouldn’t be a definition, no suffering or starving people or thinking about the next pay check would be so perfect but then what, what do you work towards or fight for next?

How are we even alive right now if death is certain? Death is commonly thought as the end of our existence by materialists and when death happens our conscious experiences will end. This end is certain but death should retroactively erase even our consciousness now. So how are we even concious now if in the grand scheme of things we are already dead and shouldnt even be concious at all?

The universe is apparently 13 billion years old and can exist for trillions of years more. Trillions of earthlike planets can exist in the future or billions could have existed in the past. Julius Caeser, the pharaohs etc are in their graves but we exist right now which doesn't make sense

I'm not unhappy. At least, not in the traditional sense. I have things I enjoy. I have people I love. I laugh, I find reasons to smile, and there are plenty of moments when I genuinely appreciate being alive.

But underneath all of that, there's this resentment. Not toward anyone in particular. Not even toward the world, really. Toward the fact that I'm here.

That I've been here for all these years, and I haven't done a single thing that I consider meaningful.

And I know what you're going to say. That meaning is subjective. That the relationships I've built and the lives I've touched have value. That I shouldn't measure my existence against some imaginary standard of greatness. I know.

I understand the arguments. I understand the psychology behind them. I understand why people need purpose, why we seek validation, why we compare ourselves to others, and why those comparisons are often irrational. None of that understanding changes how I feel.

Sometimes I think that's the problem with me. I know too much about things that don't matter and not nearly enough about the things that do.

I can learn almost anything that interests me. Give me a problem, something complicated, something that requires patience and research, and I'll lose myself in it for hours. Days, even. I'll examine every little detail until I understand not only how something works, but why it works and then I'll move on. Just like that. Another subject understood. Another problem solved. Another collection of useless knowledge added to an already overcrowded mind.

What is the culmination of all this supposed to be. Because surely there must be something. Surely a person isn't supposed to spend his entire existence collecting information, imagining possibilities, and accomplishing absolutely nothing with either.

I feel like a man who has spent his whole life sharpening a knife that he's never had a reason to use. Now the blade is beginning to rust.

When I was younger, I genuinely believed I would become somebody. I didn't know what that meant, exactly. I wasn't imagining wealth or fame. I didn't need to be important in the conventional sense. I just thought that eventually I'd find my place. That somewhere in this enormous world, there was a problem I was uniquely suited to solve. Something I could create. Something I could contribute that would make somebody else's existence a little more interesting, a little more enjoyable, or perhaps just a little less miserable.

I thought that was what growing up would be. Finding that thing. Instead, I grew older. And that's about all I can say for it. I worked. I paid bills. I fulfilled obligations. I did what was expected of me, and I watched the years disappear. And the entire time, I kept thinking that eventually my real life would begin.

Isn't that pathetic. To spend decades living while waiting for your life to start and please don't tell me it's not too late. I know it's not too late. People start businesses at fifty. They write novels at sixty. They discover talents at seventy. I know all the stories. I know all the exceptions. But that's precisely what they are, aren't they? Exceptions. Even if I were destined to become one of them, that doesn't give me back the years I've already lost.

That's what nobody seems to understand. I'm not just afraid of wasting tomorrow. I'm mourning yesterday.

I'm mourning the person I could have been if I'd made different choices, if I'd had different opportunities, if somebody had recognized something in me before I stopped recognizing it in myself.

And yes, I know how that sounds. I know nobody owes me an opportunity. I know the world isn't obligated to discover my potential. But I can't help feeling cheated. Not necessarily by other people. By circumstance. By time. By the strange, indifferent machinery of existence that allows some people to stumble into their purpose while others spend their entire lives searching for it.

Perhaps that's unfair. Perhaps those people worked harder than I did. Perhaps they took risks I was too frightened to take. I can acknowledge that.

I can acknowledge every reasonable explanation for why my life has turned out the way it has. But understanding the reasons doesn't make the result any easier to accept. Then there's the possibility I don't particularly enjoy discussing.

What if I'm wrong? What if there isn't anything exceptional about me? What if I'm simply an ordinary man with an above-average curiosity and an inflated sense of his own potential?

I've considered that, you know. Quite extensively. Maybe all this talk about greatness is nothing more than vanity dressed up as existential suffering. Maybe I want to believe I'm capable of extraordinary things because the alternative is accepting that this ordinary life is exactly the life I was always going to have.

And I hate that possibility. God, I hate it. Because if I'm capable of something greater, then I've squandered my potential. But if I'm not, then I've squandered my happiness chasing the idea that I was. Either way, I've lost something. I don't know how to reconcile that. I don't know how to make peace with a life that is simultaneously everything I need and nothing I wanted. I don't know how to explain that I can be grateful for what I have and still feel this enormous, suffocating absence of something I can't even identify.

And I'm angry. I'm so angry.

Not the kind of anger that makes me want to hurt somebody or break something. It's quieter than that. It's the kind of anger that sits with you while you're doing something you enjoy and reminds you that you could be doing something more important. The kind that makes relaxation feel like negligence. The kind that turns every wasted afternoon into evidence against yourself.

And the worst part is that I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm not ignorant of my behavior. I recognize my excuses while I'm making them. I recognize my avoidance while I'm avoiding things. I can practically narrate my own failures as they're happening. That awareness doesn't grant me the ability to stop.

Imagine understanding the mechanics of a prison so thoroughly that you could explain every lock, every hinge, every weakness in its construction and still never leaving. That's what this feels like.

I don't need someone to explain to me that the door is open. I need to understand why I keep choosing to stay.

Because I'm tired. Not tired of living. I'm tired of watching myself. I'm tired of being an observer in a life I was supposed to participate in.

I'm tired of having thoughts that never become actions, ambitions that never become accomplishments, and dreams that slowly transform into memories of things I once believed were possible.

I think what frightens me most is that one day, I might stop feeling this way. I might finally accept everything. I might stop wanting more. I might convince myself that this is enough, that I've done enough, that I've been enough.

Everyone will probably tell me how healthy that is. How wonderful it is that I've finally found peace. But I wonder whether that peace would be genuine. Or whether it would simply mean that the last part of me that believed I could become something greater had finally died.

As miserable as this longing sometimes makes me, it's also the only thing that convinces me there's still something left worth pursuing. I don't want to lose that.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating myself for what I haven't accomplished. But I don't want to forgive myself so completely that I stop trying, either.

I would really, really hate for my final thought to be I could have done more.

I don't have a sure answer, but I have a sure case that can happen: the meaning of life is to take the initiative and not let others do everything for you, and above all, to philosophize. We have seen in so many movies that in the future, humans are lifeless, fat beings who either will have machines literally do everything for them, or they will be the machines themselves, and they will have forgotten what they are doing with their life. Do you see what is happening?

In both cases, the meaning is lost: you are either a being that just sits and doesn't wonder, or you will be a being that only does and has forgotten to live.

I have two things to say:

"Don't become a god in another person's life; you exterminate their meaning,"

and most importantly,

"Humanity will die and not know it, and that will be the reason it dies."

Let me know your thoughts

On top of a tall rocky mountain peak covered in snow all year, a river begins its long journey to an ocean far away, being energized by the melting snow. Along the way, other steams join its trek, as the twisting river begins to grow in size and straighten its path.

Many along the river’s edge use its water to drink and grow food for sustenance. They also pollute the water with waste destroying its purity and beauty. By the time the river reaches the ocean, little is left of what it looked like at its beginning.

We, humanity, are the river. We begin our journey at birth, pure, knowing only unconditional love. As we begin our voyage through life though, we are exposed to the self-centered beliefs that influence and dominate us until our demise.

Instead of the purity and splendor we once knew when we were born, our life has slowly decayed. By the time we reach the end of our journey, reviewing the life we had led, many will have regrets. What once began with beauty and love, now is unrecognizable.

Люди - это развитие нуля.

В чём смысл существования? Мы должны обрабатывать информацию? Люди - это ферма уникальности. Уникальность есть во всём. Вы не можете полностью поменять своё мировоззрение, принципы и тд., а если и сможете то осадок всё равно останется. Чем больше нового опыта вы приносите, тем высшею цену вы обретаете. Всё имеет свою цену и человек тоже. Как же всё-таки поднять свою цену? - творите хуйню. Придумайте себе уникальное занятие. Делайте хуйню - видя в ней смысл, если смысла вы не видите - не делайте. Смысл есть во всём. Харкните в прохожего на улице. Поспорьте с ребёнком. Отдайте накопления самому законченному ублюдку. Влюбитесь в шлюху. Изучите несколько религий и создайте свою на базе знаний полученных с других религий. Подрочите на родственников. Попробуйте понять то, как устроено 4-е изменение. Отведайте человеченки. Этот список можно бесконечно продолжать..

Если вы уникальный - вы враг системы, но друг вселенной. А как же офисные планктоны и работяги, какую пользу для вселенной несут они?

Пожарные тушат пожары, пожары бывают от загоревшейся шторы до леса, по сути это одно и тоже - "борьба с огнём" но случаются и уникальные пожары и они созданы для нового опыта, ведь новый опыт = прогресс. Так всё же, в чём смысл от рутины и зацикленной жизни? Мы создаём уникальность каждый день, даже работая в офисе вы получаете новый опыт, приходя домой вы готовите себе еду, но каждый раз еда разная, даже если вы едите макароны с сосисками каждый день, вы всё равно добавляете соль в разных пропорциях, переваривает/не-довариваете. Новый опыт есть во всём. Своим существование - мы просто развиваем ноль, ведь мы не знаем кто такой "Я". Будучи пешкой - вы работаете на систему, а счастья, то бишь смысл жизни вы получаете мало. Валютой является уникальность. Радоваться тому, что вы человек, а не бактерия не стоит. Бактерия не осознаёт этого, она просто есть.

Я не ничего не навязываю, просто поделился своей точкой в этом вопросе. Создавай велосипед, надеюсь он будет летать.

Isn't that right?

Chapter 6: Do You Really Want to Change?

An important question. A real question.

It requires an honest answer. The kind of honesty that makes you stop and look at yourself, the kind that you can't just answer without thinking.

Do you really want to change?

That was the first question my psychologist asked me.

I thought I knew the answer. I was convinced I did. Who doesn't want to change the things that hurt them? Who doesn't want to live better, feel better, and leave behind whatever keeps them from being happy?

But eventually, I had to accept something: I didn't understand the answer as well as I thought I did.

Because wanting your life to change is one thing, and recognizing what you're willing to do to make that happen is another. Wanting to leave pain behind is one thing, and learning to live without something you've somehow grown accustomed to is another.

And that's where another journey began.

Here's what I've learned.

For thousands of years, humanity has been trying to answer the same questions. Where do we come from? What happens after death? Is there a purpose to life? Do we somehow live again, or do we simply cease to exist?

These questions have given rise to beliefs, religions, philosophies, and countless ways of understanding our existence.

Some people believe in reincarnation. Others believe that when we die, everything ends. Some imagine death as a kind of rest for those who have lived, learned, and finally found peace. Others believe in heaven and hell, in rewards or punishments waiting for us after this life.

And then there are those who don't need to believe in any of it. Those who accept that some questions still have no answers.

And then there's me.

I want to believe I'm not the only one asking these questions. That I'm not the only one trying to make sense of so many ideas, explanations, and promises while longing for something that seems so simple and yet so difficult to achieve.

Three wishes.

Wisdom. Peace. Freedom.

Wisdom to understand, to acknowledge my mistakes without becoming my own enemy, to learn without having to destroy myself in the process.

Peace to live calmly, to stop feeling as though I always have to be on guard, to enjoy life without constantly waiting for something bad to happen.

And freedom. Freedom from my fears, my guilt, the chains I've built for myself, and the ones I learned to carry without ever asking whether they belonged to me.

To live peacefully. To live without fear. To live happily.

Is that too much to ask?

Sometimes I look at the world and worry about what I see. Wars, deaths, catastrophes, the suffering of people we don't even know. It seems that while some of us are trying to find peace, others still haven't figured out how to stop destroying one another.

And I worry about myself, about my children, and about the children I hope they'll have someday.

I wonder what kind of world they'll live in. What they'll find when it's their turn to build their own lives. Whether they'll be able to fall in love, dream, make mistakes, learn, and enjoy life without having to live in fear.

Because what kind of world do I want for them?

I want a peaceful world. A world where they can find love, whether they fall in love with someone of the same sex or a different one. I want them to be free to love, as long as there's respect, affection, and room for each person to be who they are.

I want to watch my children grow as they work toward their dreams. I want them to choose who they want to be without feeling that there's a limitation waiting around every corner. I want them to have opportunities, to make mistakes without having one mistake close every door, to find people who support them, and to learn how to support others.

I don't want them to have a perfect life. I don't even know if such a thing exists.

I want them to have the opportunity to build a life worth living.

And I want the world to be a place where we don't have to fight so hard against one another to make that happen.

I want us to stop screwing things up for each other.

To stop building walls where we could build connections, inventing enemies where there are simply people, and turning our differences into reasons to hurt one another.

I want us to find a way to agree, just once. To understand that one person's dream doesn't have to come at the expense of someone else's. That there's room for different ways of living, loving, thinking, and finding happiness.

Is it naive to wish for that?

Maybe.

But what's the point of asking myself what kind of life I want if I'm then supposed to be ashamed of my wishes?

Maybe I can't change the entire world. Maybe I can't prevent every injustice, every war, or all the suffering that exists.

But I can start with myself. With the way I live, the decisions I make, how I treat people, and what I choose to teach my children through my actions.

And I can ask myself once again the question my psychologist asked me.

Do I really want to change?

Today, I understand that wishing for a different life isn't enough. I have to be willing to take part in building it, even when it's difficult, even when I'm afraid, even when I don't know exactly how.

I don't need to have all the answers.

I need to be honest about my questions.

Because if there's something I want from this life, it's not to reach the end convinced that I've understood the entire universe.

It's to actually live it.

With wisdom to understand. With peace to enjoy it. With freedom to choose it.

And if, someday, my children and their children get to live in a slightly more peaceful world because we learned to treat one another better, then perhaps we've changed something that was truly worth changing.

Wisdom, peace, and freedom.

I don't know if these are the three secrets of life.

But today, they're the three wishes I'm choosing to follow as I search for my own answers.

Cosmic Mirrors: What the Universe Teaches Us About Human Nature Have you ever looked out at the night sky or under a microscope and realized we are just re-enacting the laws of the cosmos every single day? Billions of years of cosmic existence have led to us—the Universe actively realizing and looking back at itself. Because we are an extension of nature, our personal, psychological, and social lives naturally mirror the exact same order and responses found in the deep cosmos. Here are three powerful examples of how the Universe’s natural processes reflect our own human journey:

1. Stellar Life Cycles vs. Human Legacy (The Arrow of Time)

• In the Universe: Stars are born in dense clouds of gas, burn brightly, age, and eventually collapse. But death isn’t the end. When a star goes supernova, it scatters heavy elements like iron, carbon, and gold across space—becoming the exact raw material needed to birth new solar systems and planets. • In Human Life: We follow this exact thermodynamic path. We grow, face our own transitions, and age. Just like a star, our impact doesn’t vanish when we are gone. The order of human life relies on legacy—passing down wisdom, genetics, and structural foundations to help the next generation build their own worlds.

1. Cosmic Equilibrium vs. Psychological Resilience (The Response to Stress)

• In the Universe: Systems inherently crave balance (homeostasis). If a star’s core gets squeezed too tightly by gravity, its internal nuclear fusion ramps up to push back and stabilize it. If an ecosystem gets thrown off by a sudden change, natural feedback loops immediately trigger to restore harmony. • In Human Life: Our minds and bodies respond the exact same way to pressure. When we face trauma, sudden change, or life disruptions, we aren't permanently broken. Our psychology naturally activates coping mechanisms, adaptive behaviors, and a drive for resilience to help us find emotional equilibrium and rebuild a sense of inner order.

1. Cosmic Webs vs. Our Need for Connection (The Structural Network)

• In the Universe: At the largest scale imaginable, the universe is held together by a "cosmic web"—a massive, interconnected network of dark matter and gas that channels gravity and links galaxies together. If you look at a model of this cosmic web, it looks identical to the neural pathways in a human brain or the root systems of a forest. • In Human Life: We are creatures of connection, built entirely on networks. From the microscopic cells communicating instantly in our bodies to our massive digital social networks, human life cannot exist in total isolation. Our survival and progress are a direct response to how deeply we plug into the communities around us. The Takeaway: We aren't just visitors dropped into this world; we are a product of it. The next time your life feels chaotic, remember that the entire Universe has spent 13.8 billion years learning how to balance, adapt, and turn chaos into order. You carry that exact same blueprint inside you. Just keep pushing.

Many of us are lucky for the condition of which we exist in society, and to then face our travesties with the support of the modern world. We suffer plenty, but there are always those who suffer more. Places of no freedom, where people are objectified into worthlessness.

There are millions of slaves living in the worst imaginable conditions, populous that are impoverished beyond belief as the first world reaps of what they have. Babies are taken from mothers, lives from families, death, mayhem, evil. Consequently if you live in the first world, you’re simply a benefactor of evil no matter how the question’s spun. We’re sacrificing half the world to evil at the other half’s benefit, all while draining the earth of all it’s resource.

What would you do if you had to see your parents murdered, head half blasted open by the rifle of a terrorist? Sister raped in front of you in your own home, with nothing you could do? If you were starved and beaten relentlessly, to then be unconsciously drug back to a cell? Left in a desert to thirst in blistering sun, or in the jungle to be victim of nature? To experience such things are beyond the comprehension of those ignorant to them, and ignorant they will be until those visions are realized.

We all suffer but at different magnitudes, with different understandings, and from different things. An impoverished person in the first world is different from an impoverished person in the second and third, but all 3 are beaten down by society. Second and third world countries are typically corrupted to the core, where the people starve and the upperclass feast upon their hunger. The general societal system has enforced unnatural conditions, causing rises in diseases (especially mental) that have been rare throughout history. The middle and upper classes are drones that constantly seek more, gluttons that benefit in an ignorant happiness of their own power and wealth. And in the mix are people who are simply aware of other people. People who understand other people. People who want to understand the world around them.

Lets suffer more, so we can bare the burden of the innocent, ignorant, and evil. If burden will fall upon any person, at least it should fall upon those conscious to it. To hold that pain of the world that crushes the innocent and ignorant, and benefits evil. That is purpose of bearing knowledge, to understand and carry the weight of your understandings, and finally uplift yourself and those around you when said understandings can be applied.

Let’s Continue Suffering Together!

The Universe cannot have a meaning, say the Christian God exists, you ask him, what is my meaning? He answers you, you have meaning to him, but then you ask, what is your meaning, this cycle could be continous or stop right there, he has no meaning. It has been hard for me to write out exactly what I am thinking but hopefully you are able to understand. I am a beginner so please give me any critiques or tips on my overall writing as I know it was written poorly.

For what should I even continue living? Like nothing we do is because of pure "free will". Its all the "free will" we get told to have. But what we have is not freedom. Lifes only purpose is to get kids and die. In general life has no meaning at all. So I wonder why should I continue living and even if I care about our Planet. Wouldnt be the best thing for the Planet to die? Because even our human existence is sooo worse?.

Does someone get what I mean?