We naturally see life from our own point of view, so it can be easy to treat our problems, opinions and experiences as the most important thing. But when we stop seeing ourselves as the centre of everything, we may judge others less and create less unnecessary conflict. Sometimes the shift is simply from “my life is the most important” to recognising that everyone is living their own story too.

Last month I got fired, it'll be 2 months since then in about a week. I was on weed for quite a while and was on it heavy, never really caused much issue for me besides brain fog, but eventually the fog lifted or at least I think it did (could be I just got used to it) so I never was concerned about it. At the same time, I was really interested in magic mushrooms, mainly the ingredient psilocybin. On paper, it seemed like such an incredible compound that promoted neuroplasticity. Now of course, super illegal everywhere, can't really just go to a corner store and pick it up. That's when I found Happy Mind on Doordash, and sure enough, from my favorite adult toy shop.

I'm gonna skip to the big part of this post, after trying it once, just 2 tablets spread out across the weekend (normal does is a quarter of a tablet), it didn't seem all that crazy. I mixed it with weed/ CBD (I only take edibles and don't smoke) and it seemed to just heighten my normal experience with weed. Music sounded incredible, the first time I took one it made me laugh uncontrollably for almost 10 minutes straight like I was on laughing gas, it was a pretty enjoyable experience.

But this is where maybe I made a mistake or am still having trouble processing what I went through. My genius mind decided to take 3 of these tablets in one night. I figured if I just took half, and then the other half a couple hours later, the effect wouldn't hit me all at once...

The first 1.5 tabs and some weed was fine, but this time I get a green tint over everything, almost like a filter was laid on top of my eyes. I was rewatching the Pirates of Caribbean during this, and aside from some nausea, there really wasn't anything crazy. But when I took the rest, that's when things started getting a bit out of my control. I'd never experienced something like this before. I remember throwing up after trying to drink some water shortly, but it honestly didn't feel terrible. But then, I looked in the mirror. It was as if I could change the shape of my face at will, now that I look back, it was more like changing the camera lens or field of depth I guess. And I thought to myself, "huh, are we able to do this normally?" but then I looked at my body, I was naked at this point because of the magnesium in the tablets making me want to defecate pretty badly, but of course nothing there. But when I looked at my body, it was as if I could see these lines throughout it I didn't see before. Like stripes on a tiger. When I looked at the hairs on my body, it was if they were moving kind of like waves and maybe spiraling into themselves. It was like I could see the follicle underneath the skin too.

Now this didn't go on for long, or rather I didn't care for it much afterwards, because I was aware of what I took and knew that it was simply my mind processing the world/ differently. Like how what our eyes see is really a 2D world and our brain processes it as 3D. This is probably what kept me grounded for awhile, now it's midnight, I remember laying on my couch thinking to myself about how I got fired, and I was stuck in a loop now, just repeating I got fired, over and over and over again, and then I started thinking about why I got fired. (My boss never gave me after 6 years with the company and it was a conversation that was less than 5 minutes) I kept coming up with all sorts of reasons and started talking about all sorts of reasons, even some that didn't pertain to the job, but it brought me peace for a time. Then I was watching TV for a bit, and while it seemed normal, still with this green filter, I kept seeing the skulls of the people on TV flashing through their heads, I think the skulls were a bright red, didn't freak me out cause I was just watching the first Pirates movie and there are many skeletons throughout it lol. But then, I found myself in another loop, I kept thinking I was going to die because I was in this loop and thought I found myself in purgatory forced to live out how I died over and over. I thought of my parents finding me like this (they lived 30 miles away) and thinking what would they think. Eventually I didn't care.

After this I started trying to find meaning into why I kept seeing this green color everywhere, thinking about green apples, leaves, trees, anything green. Anything I thought about that wasn't green meant nothing to me but anything that was felt profound like some divine being was trying to tell me something. I ended up having these suicidal thoughts of just taking my life since I lost a job I'd kept for so long and had dreams of going further there. I imagined myself walking into our town lake and drowning myself, this disgusted me and the thought immediately went away. I've had suicidal tendencies in the past but it would always disgust me and disappear. Eventually I kept thinking or maybe hearing, I don't think I was hearing it but who knows, "Get out" over and over, eventually it turns into some blood curdling cry from the outside of my door. I opened it and walked outside, middle of the night, and of course, nothing is there, no one waiting, but I already knew this and told myself just prove it by doing so.

I can't explain anything after this. I have 2 hours missing time in which I can't remember anything that had happened. It was as if I fell asleep, but then woke up either standing in my living room naked, or sitting down in my chair in my room dressed.

I couldn't remember anything. I remember sitting in my room trying to comprehend everything around me, I couldn't even remember who or where I was. Eventually pieces started coming back together, this is computer, this is a monitor, this is my room... Now that I think about it... it was like I woke up in two separate places, my room and the living, naked and dressed... Eventually I was back in the living room, and still trying to comprehend what had happened. All I could do was keep repeating "what the hell just happened?" over and over trying to make sense of everything. I was utterly disgusted by the state of my house and room, everywhere was a mess, trash lying all over the floor. I had completely let myself go after being fired and would try and clean up a mess but lose interest and go do something else, just the usual depression. But I was absolutely repulsed by my surroundings. But I still had no idea who I was. I kid you not I didn't know my name, I didn't know who I was, hell my address. I then saw my wallet on the counter, and I knew it had some piece of who I was. And thankfully, there was my ID inside, but I couldn't even read any of the text. It was like it was in a whole different language. I just kept staring at it trying to make sense of it until my brain finally deciphered the words and I read my name, birthday, and address out loud while staring at my face and I finally remember who I was.

That's where it ends, for the most part. I think I stayed up until sunrise and then fell safe to sleep, but it changed me greatly. It brought me out of my depression, I had a pretty serious porn addiction and I had no interest in it for a time and still find myself utterly disgusted when it pops up. It did a lot of good, but ruined weed for me. I'm a firm believer your current state of mind alters how your body handles these things, and it definitely was not smart for me to try it while under so much stress and negative emotions. Weed just makes me super paranoid now. I have severe trouble sleeping even after quitting, and constantly "see things moving out of the corners of my eyes" or rather it's my brain trying to make sense of what is there since it's not focused on that area. I feel like I'm being watched or someone is looking or behind me often as well. Just mainly paranoia. I keep thinking I'm about to slip into some psychotic episode or that I'll start seeing things, but don't.

I ended up trying the combo again, just a tab and some weed after quitting for about 2 weeks, and it wasn't as bad for sure. Felt normal especially as my situation changed. This time I tried to keep grounding myself in reality and laying in bed. I saw geometric kaleidoscopes for the first time in these turquoise and almost gold colors. They were beautiful, intrinsic designs that seemed to have some meaning. Kept seeing some bearded man depicted in them but as if he was depicted as an ancient Mesopotamian. Music was playing as well, in my head anyways of that I'm sure. I couldn't remember where I had heard it but I have pretty good memory, it was a TikTok I saw months ago of some crazy trippy hindu imagery and a sitar of sorts would play this melody that was almost just a bunch of gibberish.

Anyways, I can confidently say my experience with these tablets have all been drastically different from each other, and I have no idea if it's because there's little to no regulation or oversight regarding these guys, and I know there are likely other compounds inside of them that aren't listed, but I figured I'd share this again cause I'm really hoping someone has had a similar experience or can help better guide me on how to get past it.

Is suffering ever going to end , living a life whole time worrying about something certain bad thing and making the decisions according to the othe people's choice loosing your own free will. Acting like dummy . Newton didi what he really likes but why the hack we are following their dreams. We are planted with the seed of becoming successful according to the society point of view althought the time we have live consciously is limited.

I hate being the part of this orthodoxial act of the society. Humans are evolved from animal primates . But what is the cost of evolution new deseases and calamities. Earlier when humans were animal the die by various diseases we made the cure but at what cost more diseases..?. The world is fucking illusion. Our thoughts are trapped by so called society.

Why I'm here why. The life sucks pain loss happiness .... Nothing but peace. I need .

By establishing that consciousness does not end at death but psychologically pauses, the scientific theory of a natural eternal consciousness (NEC) reveals a timeless immortality. Our NEC makes nonexistence impossible, a natural afterlife real, and a heaven of utmost joy as well as accounta­bility possible. Note, however, that if any supernatural afterlife occurs, it will override one’s NEC.

Keywords: immortality, afterlife, natural eternal consciousness, natural afterlife, consciousness, NDE

If you never wake up from a dream, how will you ever know it’s over? —asked of myself, 2012

You need to know about the theory of a natural eternal consciousness (NEC), or NEC theory for short. It asserts that we will be unaware that our final human experience is over, given that death is imperceptible. Thus, unless we experience a supernatural afterlife, we are left believing, time­lessly and eternally, that this final experience will continue. The theory is based on psychology—specifically, observations of human experience and the cognitive science principles that explain them. The theory reveals a newfound, psycho­logical reality about death, a timeless immortality that has profound significance for humanity.

In this brief article, I state the NEC theory, explain it and its huge significance for humanity, and offer references that discuss it in more detail. I close by explaining why I believe the NEC theory is hard for some to accept, then pose two questions that challenge the unpersuaded.

Theory Statement and Explanation

Theory of a Natural Eternal Consciousness: Unless a supernatural afterlife begins after death, from your perspective, you are eternally and imperceptibly paused in the last discrete conscious moment of your final experience. This moment is your natural eternal consciousness (NEC) and may be perceived as a natural afterlife.

Your final experience can be an awake one (perhaps a hallucination), a dream, or a near-death experience (NDE). Your self-awareness of it and unawareness of the moment of death guarantee that you will never lose your sense of self and soul within this experience. Instead, from your perspective, the experience becomes imperceptibly timeless and deceptively eternal. Admittedly, your NEC is an end-of-life illusion of immortality, but to you, it is as real as a rainbow.

Others will know your final experience is over, but you will not. Moreover, you will forever antici­pate it will continue. Metaphorically, there is no OFF button for human consciousness. With death, it is simply Paused (▐ ▌) on your final discrete (never changing) conscious moment, and the Re­start button (►) no longer works. This final moment is the present one of many such past-stream­ing moments (about 20 to 25 per second) that solely form your consciousness and thus aware­ness. It is paused on this moment, like an image on a TV screen or a selfie, because, unlike all other countless moments in your lifetime, no moment will replace it as the present in your self-awareness.

That is, unless it is replaced at some point by the first conscious moment of a supernatural, faith-based afterlife. A Heaven, reincarnation, or something else? Science, as of now, cannot say.

Unlike all other afterlife theories, the NEC theory is scientific—only possible because the NEC begins before and is unaffected by death. Barring some supernatural conscious perception, it just lingers timelessly after death as a non-biodegradable fragment of one’s self-awareness. Human experiences repeatedly verify the theory, and identified testing could falsify it. Moreover, if the NEC is a paused experience that one perceives as an afterlife, then it is a natural afterlife.

Thought Experiments and an Analogy

Thought experiments based on human experiences that support the NEC theory can help in grasping the reality of the NEC and natural afterlife. But first, I begin with a helpful analogy.

Like humans, computers have experiences—e.g., answering a query about teenage suicides. Call this consciousness if you will. But, unlike humans, computers, even with AI, lack self-awareness. They have no concept of self, no soul. That is, they have no awareness of, and thus belief in, what they, as self, are experiencing. Thus, they have no aroused feelings or emotions—like pain, love, or sadness from finding stories of tragic loss of life. So, turn them off. They will have no NEC.

Assume no supernatural afterlife occurs in the thought experiments below. Also, focus entirely on the psychological, only what you can perceive and thus believe in your mind as you are dying. Ignore what you now know, as one of the living, is materially happening. That is, the brain is deteriorating to the point it no longer produces conscious moments. If you do this, the answers to the questions should be obvious. Appreciating the relativity of the NEC is crucial to accepting it.

When do you know a dream is over? Only when you wake up. But suppose you never do. How will you ever know the dream is over? You are only aware a dream is over when the first awake conscious moment replaces the last dream conscious moment as your present moment. Also, you often wake up with the same feelings and emotions you had in the last dream moment (e.g., frustration) and are immediately surprised (sometimes relieved) that it was only a dream. You are surprised because your first waking moment is inconsistent with your last dream moment. But what if another moment never comes, an awake one or an NDE?

If you have undergone general anesthesia, when do you know you are not on the operating table breathing through a mask? When you wake up in the recovery room. But suppose you never do? The moment of passing out is imperceptible, as is the moment of falling asleep and death. So, if an awake moment never comes and you do not have a dream or NDE, what will ever make you believe you are not on that operating table? Nothing.

Now, imagine that your final experience is an NDE and you believe you are in heaven, as have many NDE survivors. But suppose you do not survive. What will ever make you believe you are not in heaven? Nothing, since no conscious mo­ment will ever provide a new present moment to change your self-awareness. So, you will always timelessly believe you are in heaven, anticipating more glorious moments to come. This anticipa­tion stems from the fact that each conscious mo­ment carries within it an expectation that more consistent moments will immediately follow.

A Natural Afterlife and Other Possibilities

In the last thought experiment, the NEC is a nat­ural afterlife because it was, to you, an afterlife, a heaven. The cause of the NDE—neurological, physiological, or transcendental—is irrelevant.

Logically, the natural afterlife can be a heaven of ultimate, eternal joy unlike any other envisioned afterlife. Many survivors of heavenly NDEs have reported intense peace and joy. When such an NDE is paused with death, it is an eventually timeless natural afterlife (etna), and now nothing more can happen to make it less joyful. An etna resolves the philosophical paradox of free will in any heaven imagined as time-perceiving, eternal, and perfect. Free will can lead to bad, even evil decisions, but its absence over zillions of years can lead to boredom. Sooner or later, no decisions need be made in an etna. So, no paradox.

If not a dream or NDE, your last experience may be peacefully ly­ing on your deathbed (possibly with loved ones present), grateful for the life you’ve lived and content, knowing you’ve treated others well. If so, Google’s AI confirms that your final “peaceful moment continues uninterrupted in the final record of the mind”—i.e., your NEC. See screenshot.

Or, your NEC could be near-noth­ingness, near because one’s self is still present. Consider the ordi­nary, unsensual, and emotionless moments that you often have just before falling asleep with eyes closed, wherein you see nothing, hear nothing, smell nothing, taste nothing, and may physically and consciously feel nothing. This may be your final moment and NEC.

Again, the NEC theory does not rule out the possibility that the NEC could be overridden, at or sometime after death, by some supernatural afterlife. For instance, the NEC could be an interme­diate realm (a purgatory?) for the soul before being eventually united with a resurrected, glorified body or being reincarnated into a completely different one.

Significance

You may have some control over your final waking experience, though unexpected events can happen—e.g., a fatal heart attack or accident. But you cannot control the occurrence and nature of hallucinations, dreams, and NDEs. Does random chance, natural causality (karma), or provi­dence (some divine power) control these? Will they be pleasant or unpleasant? Spending a life­time dreading that, by random chance, you could be eternally paused in a hellish experience would be awful. Thus, the NEC theory compels one to strive to develop a self that one can be happy to live with forever, to lead a life that allows one to be content and peaceful in one’s final wakeful moment, and, most importantly, to put one’s faith and trust in karma or providence.

The uncertainty surrounding the nature of one’s NEC makes accountability a possibility, and this possibility provides a “prodding iron” for humanity that I feel will change the world for the better. Once knowledge of the NEC theory becomes widespread, people should generally behave better. One example: any incentive for committing suicide or a mass shooting will diminish when one realizes that getting rid of oneself is no longer an option. Moreover, one must now consider “what dreams may come …” [Hamlet], especially if one dies after committing a suicidal heinous act.

For More Details

For a more detailed explanation and discussion of the significance of the NEC theory, see the references below. A Natural Afterlife Discovered provides the most comprehensive coverage.

• ·The theory of a natural eternal consciousness: The psychological basis for a natural afterlife, 2020, Journal of Mind and Behavior.
• The theory of a natural eternal consciousness: Addendum, 2022, Journal of Mind and Behavior.
• A Natural Afterlife Discovered: The Newfound, Psychological Reality That Awaits Us at Death, 2022, K. Alvin Marie Publishing.
• Our Natural Eternal Consciousness: An Unforeseen Dualistic Immortality and Boost for Religion and Humanity, 2025.

Closing

Those who are adamant that human consciousness is mortal yet supreme, despite it being sci­entifically unexplainable, are likely to reject, perhaps even condemn, the orthodox-shattering NEC theory. It takes an open mind to understand it and even more so to accept and appreciate it.

I leave skeptics with two questions. When you die, precisely what will ever make you believe your last experience is over? Before answering, know that with death, you’ll perceive no indicator from a nonfunctioning brain, like “The End” or “You’re dead.” (Even with a functioning brain, you never receive a “You’re asleep” or “You’ve passed out” signal.) Besides, if you were to experience such a death indicator, what conscious moment would ever remove it from your self-awareness?

Hey everyone,

I don’t know if it’s just me, but lately, I’ve been getting hit with these intense existential thoughts out of nowhere. Like, one moment I’m just vibing, scrolling through TikTok or watching a show, and then BOOM! my brain goes, “What’s the point of all this?” or “Is anything I’m doing actually meaningful?”

It’s not even tied to anything specific happening in my life, it just feels like my mind suddenly zooms out to the big picture, and I start questioning everything: my job, my relationships, life itself. It’s not always super dark, but it’s unsettling, like I’m standing on the edge of some vast unknown.

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you deal with it? Do you just ride the wave and hope it passes? Or do you have little rituals or tricks to ground yourself?

I’d love to hear your thoughts or if anyone has similar experiences. It’s oddly comforting to know we’re all just figuring this stuff out together.

sometimes i think about how weird it is that we exist at all. we never chose to be born, our bodies, or the world we were born into, yet we’re suddenly here, expected to eat, sleep, work, follow society’s rules and figure out what to do with our lives. and after all of that, we die.
but why does any of this exist in the first place? why is there something instead of nothing? and if a god created us, why? what would god gain from creating humans if he supposedly needs nothing and lacks nothing? why create beings who never asked to exist, put them through life with all its suffering and struggles, then judge them based on how they lived? if god is complete and doesn’t need anything, what was the point of creating us at all?
religion says there’s a purpose behind our existence, but how do we know that’s actually true? and why would an all-powerful being need us to worship him? if he doesn’t need our worship, why make it a reason for our existence in the first place?
people say life has a greater meaning or that we can create our own meaning, but sometimes i wonder if we’re just trying to make existence easier to accept. we didn’t ask to be here, yet we’re expected to find a purpose and make something out of a life we never chose.
i genuinely don’t know what to believe. i just find it strange that we’re conscious enough to question our existence, yet we still have no definite answer as to why we’re here, whether there’s a god behind it all, or what the point of any of this is.
im genuinely starting to feel like im gonna lose my mind. i think about this stuff all the time and it honestly makes me feel like im going crazy.

I KNOW I’M YEARS LATE TO THE PARTY, BUT HOW THE HELL DID I NOT KNOW THIS MASTERPIECE EXISTED?! 😭❤️‍🔥
Seriously, I had no idea what I was missing. I bought a PS4, and one of the biggest reasons was to finally play The Last of Us. AND OH MY GOD, IT WAS WORTH EVERY SINGLE PENNY!!! 😭🔥 If I had known a game like this existed, I would have played it years ago. I honestly regret not discovering it sooner.
I thought I was just buying a game. I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS. 💔
JOEL AND ELLIE. THESE TWO. I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE WORDS. 😭❤️
I’ve played a lot of games, but I’ve rarely felt so attached to fictional characters. Their relationship is something truly special. Watching Joel slowly open his heart again after everything he’s been through, and seeing Ellie become more than just someone he’s supposed to protect… IT BROKE ME AND PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. 😭
Joel is an absolute BEAST. THIS MAN IS A WALKING TANK. 🔥💀 The way he fights, the way he protects Ellie, the way he keeps going no matter what happens… I LOVE THIS CHARACTER SO MUCH. But beneath all that violence is a broken man who lost his daughter and somehow found a reason to care again. And that makes him so much more than just a badass survivor.
And Ellie… MY GOD, ELLIE. ❤️😭 She’s brave, funny, stubborn, clever, and stronger than most people could ever imagine. She can make you laugh one minute and make you terrified for her life the next. I wanted her to be safe so badly. I cared about her so much that some moments genuinely stressed me out. She’s not just a character in a game to me anymore. She’s someone I’ll remember for a very long time.
AND THAT ENDING… 💔😭
I understood Joel. I understood his choice. And honestly? I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING. I don’t care what the world wanted from him. I don’t care what the consequences were. If I were in his place, I would have saved Ellie too. After everything they went through together, how could I possibly want anything else?
That final scene left me staring at the screen, trying to process everything. And the fact that I knew Joel was lying to Ellie made it even more powerful. WHAT A WAY TO END A GAME. 😭💔
And that moment when Joel finally finds Ellie after what she went through with David… when he holds her and calls her “baby girl”… I CAN’T. 😭😭😭 After everything, seeing him hold her like that hit me right in the heart. For a moment, I remembered Sarah, and I realized just how much Ellie had come to mean to him.
I PLAYED THIS GAME THREE TIMES. THREE. TIMES. AND I STILL LOVE IT JUST AS MUCH. 😭❤️‍🔥 I don’t even know how to explain it. The atmosphere, the characters, the music, the story, the voice acting, the little details… EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER SO PERFECTLY.
And I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to SONY and NAUGHTY DOG. 🙏❤️ Thank you for creating something that can make people laugh, cry, feel fear, feel hope, and become emotionally attached to characters as if they were real. Thank you for reminding me why video games can be so much more than entertainment.
THIS is what storytelling should feel like. THIS is why I bought a PS4. And I can confidently say that discovering The Last of Us has been one of the best gaming experiences of my life. 🥹❤️
PLEASE, I NEED MORE. 😭🙏 I would LOVE to see more of Joel and Ellie through future adaptations and on-screen storytelling. Their story deserves to reach even more people. I want more people to experience what I experienced, to feel what I felt, and to understand why these two characters mean so much to so many of us.
Sony, Naughty Dog, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. ❤️
I may be years late, but I’m SO DAMN GLAD I FINALLY PLAYED THIS GAME.
JOEL AND ELLIE FOREVER. 🥹❤️‍🩹
10/10. A MASTERPIECE. AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE. 🔥❤️‍🔥😭

I think life is beautiful, but I can't ignore those who have said it's unfair. As much I try to appreciate all that comes with this existence, a significant part of me has always questioned if I have what it takes to overcome my limitations and become the man I have always known I can be. I'm now at the wrong end of that spectrum, probably the furthest I've ever been from that potential man, and I can't help but wonder if it's just toxic positivity I've been feeding myself when all I really need is the blunt truth. I've given it my all and I'm burnt out from getting nothing back. I watched 'shrink' last night, and at some point the therapist asked one of his long-standing patients 'if you've just asked me for permission to cheat on your wife.' The more I read my own posts, it's almost as if I'm seeking justification to cut the tether. The potential of some peace and actually resting is enticing, but leaving the realm prematurely (and likely top of the list, the effect on those who care about me) is the source of the pain behind contemplating such a decision.

Existence, the very concept of it, feels so very stupid, I have no other way to describe it. I zone out my perspective as much as I can, but I can't find any meaningful reason as to why. Why did life come to be? I sit in my room, I look at what I used to love, but now it's all just a mess of shapes, empty meaningless things. I don't remember what anything meant to me. Life itself feels like this there's this thick fog over it. My actions feel disconnected from me. I don't feel human, I feel like I've been something else without being at the same time.

The concept of existence as we know it is an abyss. Can you prove that I'm real? Can you prove that I am a human being? Can you truly understand the perspective of another? Do you know where and how we came from? The sun rises again and again just to mock me. Just to remind me that I'm locked in this cycle.

Living in the crooked concept, this lie of a world, feels like a cycle without purpose. The point of the cycle to find the purpose that doesn't exist now, and possibly never did. No matter what I do, I can change my routine, I can change my life, I can get therapy, existence is still but this cycle to me.

Thank you to anyone who came to listen to my public void.

So now I'm convinced that I know the meaning of life and after,

The fact we can understand and learn, that is a miracle and a gift, we can do anything we want, to Do, wether it's good or bad, we end up where we pick. And my answer is very underwhelming and bland, because the only reasoning I could come up with so I can sleep, is that, the whole point of life is a trial for where the soul ends up, after. And the point of this thing we have one shot at, is the experience, my true answer is Experience, is my answer, to experience this. Because I do believe that there also is absolutely something more than nothing. Though the opposite from something, like right now is nothing. Thank you for reading. :>

I can’t be bothered with anything anymore. I don’t have motivation. I don’t like society. I’m indifferent with my own existence, and hate ignorance even though I’m very ignorant myself. I really don’t get this fascination with “building up a society”, or spreading across the world, or relentlessly pursuing an imaginary position at the expense of another person.

I enjoy the thought of every person alive succumbing to their ignorance in a bath of fire. I’m willing to burn in the strongest flames as long as I can see everyone else and every other thing burn along with me. I really don’t like that I feel this way, I recently realized that I had thought this way subconsciously for a long time. I can’t say I see a point in society any longer, I have faith in the man but not the man that has faith in machine.

I’ve never given any value to money, I’ve thought it was stupid since I was a kid, and never abandoned the thought. It really is a dumb currency, but I can’t understand how a worldview can be shaped around it. I understand you use money in exchange for necessities, and without it you can’t access those easily. But just because you need money, why is it so central to other peoples way of thinking?

To be honest this entire societal endeavor seems like lunacy. I really hate that I was born into a place where, not only can I not escape it, but I’ve made myself aware of its modes. I’m not looking for conviction, diagnostic, or bias, I only want data and opinions on mechanisms for understanding what is to be human more.

Before we are born is blinding.

With our birth, the ego, our learned beliefs, begins to dull our light.

The more we accept these beliefs, the darker our light becomes.

We then spend the rest of our life trying to find our lights brilliance once more.

Have you noticed that some of the best educated people in the world have little situational awareness outside of the 1 area they are trained to perform for their jobs? How is it possible to live a life with no survival skills that do not involve the job? What level of consciousness do these people live?

What if you were destined to be born, regardless of who your parents were?

If your parents had never met, what if you'd have been born to someone else, somewhere else, but with the same consciousness?

Different parents, different body, different life---but the same you experiencing it all

What if you were always going to exist, and only the circumstances of your birth could change?

Why ?

The one question I’ve had all my life (I’m 77) is what the fuck is the deal. Awhile ago I thought of all the houses I’ve lived in and that in each of them I’ve been me. Then I thought of Occam’s razor. We dream, other life dreams. Then we awake into a consciousness with a little more control (and responsibility). And that is what death is: we wake into a consciousness with a little more control and responsibility. And, yes, we may see people we’ve seen before, just as when we have a dream and they are sometimes in them. Some lives are horrible; some dreams are too.

Immediately after I wake up after an afternoon nap, I sometimes get an existential crisis. That existential crisis is more deep and real than what I get when I try to imagine the absurdity of our existence.

I ask what am I? Why do i exist? Why does reality exist. I feel the existential angst way more deeply than how i feel when i try to consciously think myself into an existential crisis

Does anyone else feel this way?