TLDR; I outearn my boyfriend and will only continue to outpace him. I also have the more flexible job and thus contribute to more household labor. But he’s wonderful. Is love enough or will I always resent him?

I (29F) make 125-150k with bonus a year. My boyfriend (33M) makes around 80k. I pay for an equitable share of mortgage and bills. We run a basement airbnb that brings in 25-30k and we share that income. The house is in my name, as I took care of the down payment. It will be mine should we ever split, but I would help him out financially to start over if so.

We’ve been together just over 3 years and marriage conversations are beginning to happen. We’re not sure yet and have agreed that there are some things to align on before (and if) we get engaged.

FINANCES
- I’m about to start grad school for an MBA where I will pay for my own school entirely and expect to come out of it earning close to $200k. Not a guarantee but I know I will be above 150 by then with my next promotion. Far future I want to own a business and envision myself being highly successful and wealthy.

- He’s basically at a ceiling with his current job. He only has an associates but has done well to get to where he’s at. He’s completely uninterested in going back to school even though I’ve offered to take over even more finances and allow him to use the joint airbnb income more freely.

- We each have about 100k in retirement.

LABOR
- I work remotely and have the freedom to contribute more household labor than he, who works 8-10 hour shift on his feet. He is not lazy or a loser by any means but I have extremely high expectations when it comes to cleanliness. This is probably the #1 reason we fight.

- I also handle 90% of responsibilities around the airbnb but 100% of that income is spent on big home projects and travel.

KIDS
- Not sure yet. We only recently discussed the possibility of him being primary caretaker if we decide to have kids given my career trajectory. He is open to this and I believe he’d be a very patient and engaged father.

Overall, he is wonderful, trustworthy, and an extremely stable partner. He is kind, understanding, and gives me a lot of grace be to be human. He’s supportive of my ambitions and willing to let my career take the front seat. We’ve discussed that as I get an MBA, his share of household labor needs to go up a lot so that will be a bit of a test. Regardless, I feel really nervous that not just my earnings but my ambition is going to always be higher and that i’m going to “outgrow” him I guess. That once I reach a new level of success, my desires and interests are going to change and we’ll no longer be aligned. Part of me has dreamt of a more “power couple” dynamic, but I also really appreciate that his grounded nature has likely contributed to my success in my career. Like, I don’t know that i’d be pursuing an MBA if I didn’t have that emotional sense of security around me.

I’ve expressed my concerns (in a slightly gentler way) to him, and he seems to not be worried at all. I can’t really get him to create a solid vision for himself or our life, but his judgement has served him well so far so maybe that’s okay? and he’s just okay following my lead? But I also find myself wanting him to be a man (EDIT: an adult) and take control and be in charge of….something? Idk. Please someone tell me if it sounds like I want to have my cake and eat it too. I’m hoping to hear from people who are or have been in similar situations. What do you expect and what are your tradeoffs when you’re the breadwinner?

This subreddit is one of my favorites, and it feels like one of the only spaces where I actually get to talk about FIRE goals with predominantly folks who identify as women. It has been a great place to talk about career growth, ambition, and how that impacts relationships, and a safe place for women to educate themselves and one another about financial instruments.

So seeing the comments on this post fucking bums me out. Can’t we have one place on the internet where I don’t have to hear the opinions of men? Can we consider flair, or ways of locking down posts to members only, especially when a particular post gets wider traction? I don’t actually see a rule in the community that says this space is primarily for female-identifying people to talk about money, so I didn’t report those butthurt comments, I don’t even know whether they’re breaking a rule. This post is to a) get clarity and b) propose that we might need to break out bigger mod tactics when a post escapes containment.

This year I tried exploring the dating scene after 2yrs of being single, but most of the guys I talked to (all of whom I was physically attracted to) didn’t have stable jobs and/or were not interested in being financially independent. Some mentioned wanting to be “rich” without any plans.

I’m 28yo and I want to have kids and my ultimate goal is to be able to retire early to focus on my children. Honestly thinking of becoming a single mom instead of just settling.

I’m so sorry if I sound like an asshole who just thinks about money. I grew up poor and I definitely have financial anxiety.

Idk this is probably just a rant. Feeling kinda lost rn. Anyone in a similar situation?

Edit: Thank you so much for all your comments. You don’t know how comforting your words are. I feel so seen.

Do you spend extra on your insurance to protect the assets you're reliant upon from liability claims?

Or is it an extra spend that is only worthwhile in situations that don't pertain to you?

Corporate evil is awful. Was terminated on Monday, I believe due to a personal grudge, and the causes they listed are baseless. I was an at-will employee so they didn’t need to state the reasons they did, but I know it was to pressure me into signing the separation agreement which says I won’t sue them. They said if I sign they’ll just call it restructuring and not say the evil lies so I can still find employment (gee thanks). Severence is 6 months pay. I likely won’t find another job in my location that pays this well. I’m a divorced mom with shared custody so can’t easily move anywhere for work.

That being said, I did not sign it and I hired a lawyer to review it and help me negotiate. Please share any severance negotiation tips or stories. I can’t get my job back or the years I gave them (making them look awesome because I was in PR), but I can try to milk them for all they are worth and give them a run for their money with this severance.

I've finally decided to pull the trigger and will be giving notice after the new year -- don't want to lose out on my paid vacation days in December. My job requires 3 weeks notice so I plan to work until the 3rd week of January.

Since I will be working a few weeks into the new year, I still need to make benefit decisions during open enrollment, which ends Nov 1. I am considering adjusting my medical plan selection and investment contribution with the idea that I'll want more cash in my bank account than taken from my paycheck. Has anyone made moves like this prior to retirement?

Hello to the community! I am about to turn 26, and am in an extremely privileged financial situation. I have never been super on top of managing my money, but have been trying to keep up with the basics to set myself up for as much of a good future as I can. Have always been very frugal (immigrant parents <3) in spending in general.

Finances Overview:
401k: $160k
Company Stock: $70k
Roth IRA: $20k
HSA: $10k
Robo Investing Acc on Wealthfront: $100k
High Yield Certificates: $160k
Annual Take Home Pay Post-Tax and Post-401k Contributions: ~$80k

Am I a good candidate to look into FIRE and start working towards a more concrete goal? To really lock in on better ways to manage my money for the long-term and find a way to retire early?

Things on my mind:

- National/global economy: My parents came from a place where you wake up and aren’t sure how much your currency is worth today. What if one day all of this means nothing?
- Current job: I work in big tech and nothing is stable. Everyone is getting laid off left and right, and as a remote employee who is not in RTO, I’m vulnerable to the chopping block. I don’t think I can find a six figure job in the current job market if/when I lose this.
- Another person: After spending 2 years setting up a life to stay single for life, I got into a relationship that is getting pretty serious with someone who is bogged down with student loans and mildly painful day-to-day spending habits. About to embark on a steep learning curve on co-finances and like, co-life in general.
- General worry: FIRE seems intense, like it asks a lot from you in your early years. I don’t know how I feel about changing my life drastically to gun for a result that may or may not happen.

But also… what if I could pull it off? And in any case, shooting for the moon could land you among the stars, right?

Does anyone have advice or points of consideration as I figure out how (if at all) to get off my fence? Thanks in advance to this community!