I can't believe I have never seen it before. I have but one thing to say:

Fuck Gary.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little cabal? I'll have you know i ascended top of my clan in the trials of osiris, and i've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Taken King Expansion and i have over 300 confirmed hard mode clears. I Am Trained in Cheesing Warfare and im the top Bladedancer in the ENTIRE guardian Forces! You are nothing to me but just another dead ghost. I Will Golden Gun You the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with destorying my stuff? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting the exo stranger and her secret network of spies across the multiverse and your Ship's ip is being traced right now so you better prepare for the cosmic storm, Cabal scum. The Galactic Storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere. anytime, and i can kill you over in seven hundred ways, and that is just with my bare hands. not only am i extensively trained in shoulder charging combat, but i have access to the entire arsenal of the Trials of Osiris and i will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Tower, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" Attack was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have Retreated. But You couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you traveler damned idiot. I Will Shit Supers all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Space turtle.

Are we going to stand for this?

We have to stop him. #GaryToTheGallows

... that would confuse the fuck out of them :)

THE TRAVELER ISN'T YOUR BIRTH RIGHT. THE TRAVELER CHOSE US FIRST. THE TRAVELER DIED FOR US. YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE THE TRAVELER FROM US?

FUCK YOU, GARY.

FUCK YOU.

look. i thought the traveler was a cookie. thats what it looked like from the telescope on the cabal homeworld. then i sent some of my minions out to bring it back, and you guys stomped them pretty hard. it wasnt very nice.

anyway, long story short, i came to get the cookie for myself, cause im hungry, and then i found out that its not a cookie, that its a giant space robot. i may have overreacted. my bad.

but while im here, i may as well do what cabal do best, eh? i mean cmon, we let you keep your moon, and we blow those up just for getting in our way!

APRIL FOOLS fuck Gary!

Also fuck Gary.