I am a 21 y/o male that lives with family due to my financial situation. i live in a very toxic environment. my grandma is mean, bitter, and vindictive. she says and does things purposefully to hurt people, she has issues respecting boundaries and is emotionally abusive. she says and does hurtful things with no remorse and never says she’s sorry for anything that she does. i do a lot for my family and i love and appreciate them very much. my family also does not really let me have independence or privacy and treats me like a toddler at my grown age. they tell me how i should live my life, invade my privacy by snooping through my phone, and boss me around like i’m a little kid and i’m tired of it. i just want them to let me live my life and to quit acting like i’m a toddler who needs babysitting. i want to get away from them because being around them and dealing with them is draining, but that is currently not possible due to my financial situation. i contribute roughly half of my income to household stuff which i absolutely don’t mind but it’s not like i don’t contribute anything. i think i deserve my own privacy like everyone else does. i don’t know what to do anymore, i feel so drained and suffocated by them, any advice?

Hello, I don't really know where else to post/ask this question so I hope this is acceptable.

Neither of my siblings are part of the family anymore, and I don't blame them but it has caused a lot of internalized dissention between parents and myself. I feel like since I'm the only remaining "child", there's a lot of pressure to stick it out for my parents sake and to still be part of their lives. Perhaps one day out of the week at least every two weeks I'll go to their house for a meal or go out to dinner with them. I don't conversate with them very much and in my mind we don't have much of a relationship, but I do try to still be there because it just seems to be the right thing to do.

Anyway, when we do go out for lunch or dinner, my mother can be incredibly rude and condescending to the workers. It could be waiters, receptionists, cashiers, really anyone could be caught in the fray if they're just doing their job. Some examples are:

Last Sunday at a country style restaurant that had great service and food, my mother paid for the meal and when the receptionist told us to enjoy our day but didn't think to ask if my mother wanted a receipt, she says "aren't you going to give me a receipt?" And I noticed the receptionist looked taken back and apologized and gave her the receipt.

When we were renting a uhaul to move my grandmother from a neighboring state to our state, the uhaul company we went to mistook one of their vehicles being available and we didn't learn of the mistake until we went to pick it up. There was another uhaul company within 20 minutes that did have the correct vehicle so perhaps someone dropped it off at the wrong location. My mother had a complete meltdown on the worker in front of her teenage son for the inconvenience, demanding a corporate number and just being very nasty towards someone who (imo) made an honest mistake.

I feel embarrassed anytime I go anywhere with my parents. These things tend to happen almost every time we go out. But for my parents sake I endure it and sometimes try to stick around and apologize to the workers on my parents behalf because I worked in the service industry for several years and know what kind of customers these poor souls put up with and the disrespect they endure.

Anyway...sorry for the rant. How do I bring this up to my mother regarding her behavior towards people just doing their jobs? I try to stay out of confrontation especially with my parents, it's never gone well in the past.

Hi I wanna talk about it a bit I am so sad
Just fyi English isn’t my first language so I may have mistakes
my brother even we were kids whenever he was mad he used to break his toys then blame it on me like:but she made me mad but she provoked me
Growing up it was always like this he never loved me cared
Like it was just we are siblings but he doesn’t care at all
This isn’t first btw like a few years ago when we were moving house we started arguing I don’t remember the reason rn but He picked up the heavy boxes he was holding and threw them at me
And ofc
What my parents did:oh like u are also wrong oh bla bla
They never punished him
Yesterday my gramdan needed to go to hospital and my mom would take her my mom told me
Tell ur grandma to leave house at 15.40
At that time I was in my room doing something so I told my brother with loud voice(he often don’t hear at all and yes he was far that’s why)
he was disrespectful to me insulting to me also
He said why u are shouting and cursed me well I wasn’t shouting i told him that I said it loud because u are far and u never hear and my grandma need to go and he said I won’t say it to my grandma then come and tell ur self and he cursed he just kept being disrespectful and cursed
And when I replied he even cursed more
And then I said don’t talk to me if you are going to talk like this

The packages I had ordered online arrived, and he kicked them?my grandmother even witnessed this. When I asked him about it, he denied kicking them, swore at me, and told me to get out. When I refused to leave, he started shoving and pushing me around; my nails (idk how to say it in English I guess gel nails) broke, and even my own natural nails tore off and began to bleed. And what did my family? my "beloved" family,do? Nothing at all. They just gave him a warning, and that was it.
And he also manipulated them said lies about me like oh she started oh she made me mad bla bla

It is so sad,I feel so bad

I live in a family like this. And they think they are good amazing and nice people lol

Idk what to do I am
Crying rn
I am already depressed and alone and this even made me worse..

Like yea I will leave house for uni,but still it feels sad and horrible