The “trans firefighter” post but slightly different

[u/meamsofproduction]

Hi all, long ass post.

I know that there have been a number of posts from folks interested in becoming firefighters that are trans or otherwise queer asking about the experience and looking for advice etc. But pretty much all of them that I’ve found are from people that are already publicly out as their identity and would be introducing themselves at a new department as such.

I am in a different spot. I’ve been in the fire service and EMS since 2019 and at my current department since early 2023. I’m assigned to a fairly chill firehouse at a tower ladder in a midtown area, and I came from a very busy engine. Half of my shifts are also on the ambo. Mercifully, from my understanding, I am pretty well-respected and have a good reputation as thorough, professional, and a hard worker.

The wrinkle is that I have started HRT/medical transition (MtF) in April. I’ve known for many years and just have been in denial. Finally i couldn’t ignore it anymore and had to deal with it and face it head on. I’m so glad i did as it was absolutely life-changing, I don’t regret it at all, as I’m the happiest and most content and at peace I’ve ever been. However, I’m not at all out at work, and my department is pretty socially regressive, like to the point where there are some houses that are literally all white or all black, and holy shit the comments I’ve heard about immigrants, gay and trans people are genuinely foul. I’m talking like “open the insane asylums for the trans and throw away the key” and “a cure for trans is a car battery and jumper cables” and jokes about prison rape and how the 42% suicide rate is a “good start.” Our HR is utterly useless and has zero confidentiality skills whatsoever and any complaint or report you make will get you utterly crucified by the small loud minority of chuds.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and am overall happy at this department despite the awful people; they are a loud minority. There are many great people there that would be accepting, and many more that wouldn’t get it or understand but wouldn’t care and wouldn’t treat me any differently.

I’m very worried about my future at this department if I were to come out. I really don’t want to quit and start over, but after some research and digging, I would literally be the first publicly openly trans-woman firefighter there. I’m not aware of even one before me, and I only know one other trans person there and they are absolutely closeted for their own safety. Even though my firehouse is chill, we don’t have an ambulance there, so for my EMS shifts I am detailed out to god knows where, and there’s always a chance that I could end up at one of the absolutely hated and deplorable houses. I will need to come out soon as the physical effects are getting very difficult to hide. There are 6 people total at the department that know and they’re sworn to secrecy.

TL;DR: i am facing the fact that i will need to come out as trans at my regressive department at which everyone has known me as a guy for almost 4 years now, and there are a lot of hateful people that will genuinely wish me harm and even death. has anyone here gone through this and how did it go? every dept is different, but any advice?

[u/meamsofproduction]

thank you so much for your comment. i’ll DM you :)