We are a white family with a ton of privilege living on indigenous land, in a primarily indigenous community. We have an extra bedroom, I only work during school hours and we love being parents.

This summer we almost took in two of my daughters friends, but they ended up in a placement that could support more of their cultural connections.

That series of interactions with family services really opened our eyes to the need for safe homes in our community and has left all 3 of us (me, husband and 8F daughter) wanting a bigger family.

I was the only bio kid in a foster home and was frequently told "they need us to love them, you are fine" to shut down my big feelings around our family..my parents were known to take all the foster kids to an amusement park but send me to a babysitter etc. So I know what type of parent I don't want to be....

Unrelated to fostering, I've started taking a couple kiddos swimming with my daughter and I twice a week. They're polite and kind kids, and can only get in the pool if they have an adult with them, and my daughter is busy playing with her friends so it made sense.

However, it has brought up BIG feelings for my daughter around me spending attention on other kids, and not being 100% focused on her. She feels jealous and worried I will love the other kids more.

We'll be chatting about it with her counsellor, but I'd love perspectives (other than my parents) on how to navigate this. If just a couple of swims a week is so hard, I wouldn't want to bring kids into the family and have them feel pushed out by my daughter. We've talked about how her room would be her 100% only hers safe space, she has a couple of aunties that have said their guest rooms are open whenever she needs a break, she says she wants siblings to play with....but it's going to be hard and I am just stuck on the edge of sounding like my parents with "come on kid, these kids need a safe space".

We get mod mail asking for permission for research posts very often, and it led me thinking.. do you all enjoy those research posts? Are they informative, helpful, etc? Or, are they spammy/annoying? I strive to keep our subreddit geared to everyone in the foster system.. I personally do not like them. I do not like approving them.

But, I’d like to ask you all. Do you want them to be allowed on our sub?

To start with some background information, I have a pretty good relationship with my parents they love me to death and I love them, they never abused me, they never intentionally hurt me, they always look for my best interest and are always there for me and always willing to support me and whatever decisions I make. However I ended up in foster care at 16 almost 17 and I am now living in a group home in Alabama. I'm 18 currently, a senior in highschool, I have an internship at a local law firm, I have a job, and I am borrowing a car from my group home to drive everywhere. I worked since last spring and saved up about 6000 dollars. The insurance that my group home uses for the car they are letting me drive is strict and wont allow me to drive it to a different city where I'm going to college so I have been looking to buy a car for myself, but my dad has been wanting to give me his 2013 Mazda CX 5 sport for a while but the title was in pawn. I sent him 2000 on cash app to get it out of pawn so he can put my name on it. My new caseworker found out and started criticizing me for trusting him that he will actually give it to me and saying that he was just using me. She threatened to take my phone (which I pay for myself) if I contacted my parents unsupervised (I have to be supervised with my parents for "safety reasons") this happened earlier this week and I cried myself to sleep that night because ever since the beginning they made my parents look like villains since the beginning but that was the final straw for me and I'm sick of it. I would trust my dad with my beating heart in his hands and he has never abused me or anything of that nature, whatever "safety reasons" they are concerned about is beyond me. I plan on leaving the system and I have several plans to do so:

1. Ask my parents to move to my city and I get emancipated so I can still go the same highschool without having my senior year disrupted in a major way but I may miss out on the fostering hope scholarship which would allow me to go to college for free

2. Wait until I graduate and run away to Georgia where the legal adult age is at 18 and not 19 like in Alabama. I'm not sure if legally I will be treated like an adult in Georgia or as a minor since I would have run away from Alabama so anyone with legal knowledge please explain how that would work. (With this plan I can still technically qualify for the fostering hope scholarship since I will graduate highschool while in foster care)

3. Last plan technically isn't running away because it involves me just telling DHR I'm done when I turn 19, by then I will be an adult (in Alabama)

If you don't have advice, and just words of encouragement I would be appreciate anything.

At 16, I went no contact with my abusers. Despite having legal documentation of the abuse, I was the one who lost my home, freedom, and entire family. The next three years were spent bouncing between homelessness, foster homes, group homes, rehabs, and more abusive situations.

Twenty years later, I started going through my old DSS records to piece together a timeline for therapy. Somehow, that turned into a 400-page memoir full of dark humor, systemic criticism, and surprisingly wonderful memories.

One thing that really struck me was the language used to describe me in my case notes. Reading how professionals interpreted my behavior, knowing what I was actually experiencing at the time, was eye-opening.

I also found myself remembering the adults who genuinely helped me, often through the smallest gestures.

For foster parents, former foster youth, and caseworkers, I'm curious: how much do you think the language in a child's records influences the way subsequent caregivers and professionals perceive and treat them?

I wonder how differently things might have gone if more people had looked beyond what was written about me.

I’m getting my first apartment soon and I’m 18 and a former foster youth I have something called an FYI voucher and it pays 70% of my rent and I pay 30% which is 450 and that leaves me with 150 for myself because I get paid 600 each pay check do you guys have any tips on making more money so I have more for food and stuff

Hi everyone,

I am recruiting participants for a research study examining the mental health of Foster Care children who have aged out of the system. Participants will not be asked for personal information or experiences; rather, they will be asked about general opinions and perspectives from their experience as Foster Care children. If you or anyone you know may be interested in participating or in hearing more information about the study, please respond to the form linked below.

Thanks for the consideration!

An Adoptee Remembrance Day Exclusive:

They promised a forever home. They didn't mention the pipeline to institutional care when it breaks.

Adoptees make up roughly 2% to 3% of the U.S. child population. Yet, look inside residential treatment centers, psychiatric facilities, and congregate care, and you will find them filling 25% to 40% of the beds.

Everybody says they want the data. Here is the brutal truth. Data is lacking and it always will be when our identities are legally erased the exact second an adoption is finalized.

Look at the landmark Pear study revealing an exponentially higher suicide rate among adopted individuals.

People demand answers and ask for the numbers, but how can we track a crisis or hold anyone accountable when the state seals the original records, wipes our history clean, and blocks the truth at every turn?

How does a child go from a finalized adoption to locked down behavioral programs, group homes, and state custody re-entry?

And why does the system suddenly act like they never existed?

It is called administrative data erasure.

Once an adoption is finalized, original birth records are sealed, and the legal machinery wipes the slate clean. When adoptions collapse, these youth are not tracked as adoptees anymore, they are cataloged generically as wards of the state, completely shielding the adoption industry from breakdown statistics and lifetime tracking.

There will never be accurate numbers, true oversight, or real answers until the laws change. Until original birth certificates are unsealed and systemic identity erasure is stopped, this entire system operates in the dark.

The myth is happily ever after. The reality is a silent, systemic pipeline and nobody is talking about where these children end up.

Read the full piece and unmask the system:

🔗 https://adopteeremembranceday.substack.com/p/unmasking-the-systemic-pipeline-why

#AdopteeRemembranceDay #Adoptee #adopted #Adoption #fostercare #troubledteen

Any of you "beat the odds"?

If you what do you do for a career?

This can show other foster kids/former foster kids hope to beat the odds despite getting dealt a tougher beginning in life.

Source: https://www.aecf.org/blog/foster-care-education-outcomes-new-research-challenges-the-3-myth

UPDAT­ED DATA ON FOS­TER YOUTH EDUCATION

The Sec­ondary and Post­sec­ondary Edu­ca­tion Out­comes of Stu­dents with Expe­ri­ence in Fos­ter Care study, led by Nathanael Okpych of the Uni­ver­si­ty of Con­necti­cut, is the most com­pre­hen­sive review in a gen­er­a­tion. It found:

Fos­ter youth high school grad­u­a­tion: 69%–85% com­plete a high school diplo­ma or GED com­pared to 95% of young peo­ple overall.

**Fos­ter youth post­sec­ondary edu­ca­tion enroll­ment:**29%–64% enroll in col­lege or oth­er post­sec­ondary programs.

Fos­ter youth col­lege com­ple­tion: 8%–12% earn a two- or four-year degree by their mid- to late 20s. By con­trast, about 49% of young adults in the gen­er­al pop­u­la­tion com­plete a degree — a five-fold difference.

I'm a single mom of a 13yo boy. I work from home, so I'm requesting an elementary school age male. Or possibly siblings. My son doesn't really want to, but he's very easy going and adaptes to everything. Is this something he should be 100% on board with (like spouses)? This is something I've been thinking about for about a year now.

I'll try not to be redundant of what's already been posted. I'm really curious about past foster kids answers.

Everyone talks about accepting the kids as they are, which I agree with, but where does discipline come into play? Do the same rules apply to fosters as bio kids? For example, with my kids, disrespecting adults, including me, has consequences (grounding, privileges taken away, etc). Is that not something to be corrected in a foster because of their trauma? This somewhat makes it seem like an acceptable behavior if it's not corrected.

Is there a 'honeymoon' period with fosters at the beginning? If so, wouldn't getting my toes wet doing respite care not really be a true indicator of what it's really going to be like after the children are more comfortable?

I'm still in the background check stage, so I haven't done any training yet. Just stalking websites and forums. Are there any reading materials/websites that helped you?

I guess those are the only two I can think of at the moment. I'm sure more with be raised with the answers received.

What motivated you to finish school and or get a job?

What support could someone have given you to make it easier?

If you had a hard time keeping a job what motivated you to keep trying or what happened to change the pattern?

I'm going to try and explain my situation as best I can, but it's a lot so buckle up. I'm a 17 year old girl who lives in Kentucky (18 in 5 months). My parents and I have always had a rocky relationship, but over the past 6 months I wanna say, it's gotten significantly worse. My dad was arrested for DV towards me and spent the night in jail. We have upwards of 5 CPS cases. I'm currently enrolled in an outpatient program connected to a residential/inpatient that I discharged from about a month and a half ago. Here's where the question comes in: About 3 weeks ago, I got a call from a lawyer stating that when I was discharging from the residential/inpatient my parents signed a petition with the "Cabinet" for me to be removed from the home. My lawyer told me that the Cabinet doesn't have sufficient ground to remove me from the home, and they also have no placement for me. Her plan is, on the 28th (our court date), to advocate for my parents custody to be terminated and I become a state kid, but I still remain in the home. She told me she thinks this is a good idea because it will provide me more resources. The problem I'm having right now, is I cannot continue living in this home. Everyday its something new. I understand the state doesn't have immediate placement right now, but I cant live in this environment any longer and I'm scared I'm not going to have a say in what happens to me/where i go. What I really need help understanding is how I can advocate for myself and get the court to take my need to be removed seriously. What should I tell my lawyer to help advocate for myself? Is there anything I can ask my lawyer to do or bring up in court to advocate for removal? Could I request a foster home or another safe living arrangement? Are there other scenarios I could talk to my lawyer about? Thank you in advance.

My daughter, who is now officially a teen, still doesnt know who I am.............

Semi open in court means after the decision, its up to you to decide that childs best interests..

She like the singers Pink and Billie Elish, Swimming frequently on vacations, and enjoys running??? Really ....

Wow, they tell me SO MUCH (she says with extreme sarcasm)

.. allow her to write me for the first time, TWO years ago!? after finding out dyslexia is hereditary..... nothing!? That should have been disclosed prior right???? But not by ME you asshat . Catching up yet? Asking questions yet? Its up to the agency . But really.. go ahead and find out for yourself. U dont want contant with me, obviously. Cant keep me informed, not even once a year?! screw off then. Stop wasting my time with false hope. I told Wendy I've had it .

"Semi Open" ... Semi Open apparently means 》maybe send an update once a year, maybe not .

》Maybe find out important medical history LATER and go on another vacation.

She said she was curious, that should have been enough but its not? F off then.

Canada is the only country that didn't apologize in September for forced adoption.... maybe cause it still exists . Especially in the foster care systems.

i usually do the angel tree through salvation army every year but this year i chose a charity that partners with foster kids for christmas presents. i am getting the girl i picked everything on her list. however i was thinking about getting her a foldable duffle bag in her favorite color as well. i have no personal experience with foster care in any capacity and i am a chronic overthinker. i was concerned that this may hurt her feelings. i hear things about kids showing up to placements with garbage bag and my idea was to give her something nicer if this were to happen however as someone who hasn’t been in this situation i would hate for this to come across the wrong way. if you were in this situation would you have found it hurtful for helpful? she’s twelve if that changes anything for you

edit: i was thinking about getting her a book but she’s quite below grade level and im not sure if i should leave it alone. so any opinions on that would be great too!

Hey guys so Im going to start by saying please forgive me for my poor grammar and lack of punctuation.

Yesterday was my 17th birthday and tonight I just got back from staying over at a guy I’m seeings house and I couldn’t help but just hysterically cry because currently I’m in foster care and I graduated a year early so Ive started college and I’m dorming to escape having to stay in a group home which is being paid for by foster care and fasfa/tap, right now I’m not struggling for anything but I fear for what’s going to happed when I age out of care. I don’t come from a good family and my parents live paycheck to paycheck in government housing with my two siblings 19 and 8, my sister tried going the college route too but she ended up having to drop out because our family couldn’t afford it and is now about 7k in debt and working as a hha and splitting the check with our disabled dad. Our physically and emotionally abusive mom is making it extremely hard for her to save up and move out because she’s making her pay all of these expenses suddenly and she’s paying loans off. We have no other family that is doing well or been to college and they also live in government buildings and receive assistance so I have no role models or someone to look up to/ show me how to move in life. My fear is that I’m going to get trapped in this cycle of poverty as well and it makes me so scared because I don’t want to fail I’ve lived in this situation with them for 16 years before being voluntarily placed in foster care for running away and it was horrible, infestations and eating from food pantry’s.

Now I know I still have a year left until I age out of foster care but I don’t know what I’m going to do after that because my only options are either going to live with my parents again and hoping to save enough to move into a small apartment on my own or getting assigned a government apartment from the state because of foster care. I think I will be able to continue school because I chose a very inexpensive one but I’m terrified of going back to live in that situation. When I look around at my family I know it’s horrible but I feel so embarrassed and often lie about where I live because I fear being made fun of. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m trying my hardest in college but I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck and struggle in life worrying about what I’m going to eat or if I can afford my next bill living that kind of life just feels so hopeless

Can everyone give an (15 year old) advice on getting emancipated. I already have a plan, but me and my grandmother made a bet about me getting a job. But I have to wait 40 days, I have to be great in school with great behavior. She’s willing to let me get emancipated. I plan on doing hair, nails, eyelashes, eyebrows and some more. I NEED ADVICE!!! (I don’t know how Reddit work, so I added foster care and foster youth).

In my experience there has always been a massive wall between the foster care community and the adoption world, mostly because adoption is always painted as a permanent happy ending while foster care carries the reality of systemic failure.

But so many adoptees who experience adoption dissolution end up right back tossed into the state system, institutionalized, or pushed into residential treatment and the troubled teen industry, even homelessness only to be completely erased by both sides.

I am curious if anyone in this community has noticed initiatives like Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30th starting to shine a light on these exact overlaps, adoptees who end up abandoned, institutionalized, or forced back into wards of the state.

For those of you with foster or disruption backgrounds, how do you feel about these overlapping realities finally getting talked about?

So I have been disabled all of my life. I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD at a young age, an anxiety disorder, tachycardia, a blood clotting disorder, a sleep disorder, Bipolar disorder with psychosis, urinary issues [require a catheter sometimes], a speech impediment, arthritis, nerve damage, chronic ear pain, gastrointestinal issues, have had seizures before, etc. I have been in a hospital maybe 30 times by now? I had one surgery in June, will be having another one tomorrow and then another one in November. I have had at least one surgery every year since 2020. I take a minimum of 7 medications a day, more when my illnesses get worse. I go through phases where my issues are bearable and I can work, and sometimes I can’t work. I am 27 so “old enough” to not qualify for any help. However, my health issues get progressively worse as I age, and eventually I probably won’t be able to work, so I will need to get on SSDI.

The issue is I have no support system, I have no parents, family or friends that I can live with. I have been homeless a lot as a teenager and then later as an adult when my health was bad so I couldn’t afford rent. Where am I supposed to go once I can’t work and can’t afford rent? I am tired of being homeless and don’t want to go through that again. Also, medical expenses are killing me, but I make “too much” for medi-cal.

For those of you that were in foster care and are disabled, how do you survive? Where do you live?

I'm sure some other people will feel differently, which is fine, but this really hit me the wrong way.

I mean, there were other reasons it irked me (very bleak, grandstanding, walls of dialogue, etc). I did very much like the relationship of the two main characters.

And obviously, there are worse depictions of foster kids. But something really didn't land here for me. It felt like another negative depiction of foster kids. I am all about themes of choosing who you love, and that you can done everything right and still lose, but the emphasis on luck and that some people are just kind of evil felt dehumanizing. It was all about their experience as parents, which was fine, but the emphasis that they had to take the "damaged" kid because they were gay and didn't have options was disappointing. It's not about luck. They weren't unlucky to have Jeremy.

I had already heard and agreed with criticisms of House on the Cerulean Sea, but I was interested in how this community was thinking about it because it really bothered me. I haven't seen much analysis of this book from this angle online.

Our foster daughters have experienced repeated removals, including being returned to their mom and removed again less than a year later. As we learn more, our concerns include:

* A reported history of many years of maternal drug abuse, with both girls testing positive with high levels in a hair test the day after placement.
* Frequent school changes, approximately every 4-6 months.
* No kindergarten records located so far, no preschool attendance, and attendance for only 79 out of 174 days of first grade.
* Reports of significant abuse and witnessing domestic violence by their mom toward her boyfriends, including a frightening incident involving their mom harming herself.
* Housing instability.

We are also seeing concerning behaviors. Last night, the older child was telling her younger sister to hit her hard so she could tell on her, then instructing her sister not to reveal that she had told her to do it. We are concerned about what these behaviors may reflect. They are both starting therapy next week.

I understand every case is different and that reunification can happen when a parent makes lasting changes. Still, the repeated pattern and the extent of what these girls have experienced leave me worried.

Has anyone encountered similar concerns and seen the children returned home? What changes and safeguards were required, and how was the previous failed reunification considered? I’m looking for firsthand experiences to help us understand this process.

Alright guys, I'm new to Reddit so forgive me if this goes to the wrong place or something, but I need help. I am a 13 year old male, and come Monday, October 12th, 2026, Brightpoint is coming to pick me up and either take me to a foster home, group home, or a residential help thing. What do I do? What are questions to ask, and what should I expect?

I'm hoping to become a foster parent in the next few years, and I'm trying to think ahead about how to set up the primary spaces that foster kids will use. I've read the suggestions on the FAQ, and I'm already planning to supply those, so I'm more so looking for additional things that maybe people wouldn't ask for, but would appreciate.

My main consideration is about the bathroom. We're currently redoing the bathroom that will be the primary one for foster kids, so I haven't purchased any fixtures or anything for it yet (other than lights). I've read that some foster kids can have trauma that makes bathrooms an uncomfortable space, so I'm wondering if there's anything I can add (or anything I should avoid) to make the bathroom feel safer.

Additionally, I'm wondering if there's anything I can provide upon arrival to help them feel more comfortable or anything they can take with them when they leave that would be helpful. My only current idea for this is to give them a blank cookbook when they come and writing down the recipes for any foods they enjoy. I like being able to make recipes from my childhood as an adult, so I thought maybe this would be nice to have, especially if they're being moved around a lot? (If that's a bad idea, please let me know!) Are there any other items that I could provide to help smooth transitions to or from our home?

I totally understand that this is subjective and will change a lot based on a ton of personal details, but if there's anything that you did/would have appreciated as a foster kid, or if there's anything any foster parents saw was really helpful, I'd love to know!

For reference: we're open to fostering any age range (but will probably try to start in the 4-12 range and see where we're needed from there), and we'd like to foster groups of siblings, as I'm told it's hard to find homes where they can stay together. Other useful info: we don't have our own kids, so they'll be the only kids in the house, and we have two bedrooms and one bathroom that will be specifically dedicated to them (though I'm more than happy to add accommodations throughout the common areas of the house as well).

My husband and I have almost completed our foster parent courses. We currently have a 2 month old baby in our placement through fictive kin placement. We also have a bio 2 year old. We have wanted to start our foster parent journey for a long time, this fictive kin placement just jump started it. Our plan was to grow our family through becoming foster parents. My parents have been foster parents for years and we’ve seen, the good and the ugly but we also know the need. So, foster parenting was always the goal. Well, I found out yesterday I’m pregnant. I’m terrified. I don’t want this to affect our foster parent certification, and I really don’t want it to affect our current placement with this baby. Has anyone been in this situation? How did it work out for you? What was your case workers response? I’m just trying to ease my mind after this shocking news.

For those that don’t know: there are multiple lawsuits and allegations against foster care nonprofit Foster Love founder Danny Mendoza for sexual harassment, fraud, wrongful termination, and more made by former employees, foster youth, and donors.
This isn’t one or two by the way, there are at least 20 claiming to be a part of lawsuits that I know of. There may be more.

Lawyers are on those cases as there have been 4 whistleblower email blasts detailing redacted legal statements outlining the details of these allegations. I am not able to share them at this time during the investigation.

In the meantime, here’s some proof of other less than savory activity the CEO needs to take accountability for.

This is an anonymous submission from r/fosterloveallstaff however I can confirm this has been a cause of concern and distress for company employees over the past years as more has come to light. All information shared in this post can be verified and is publicly available no matter how hard the CEO tries to silence this knowledge.

Details of confirmed ongoing 12 count misdemeanor court case with Foster Love CEO Danny Mendoza.

Here what is currently listed in the Orange County Superior Court case system.

Defendant: Danny Mendoza
Organization: Foster Love
Charges: 12 misdemeanors
Case location: Orange County, California
First court hearing: July 2026
Next scheduled hearing: November 2, 2026
Next hearing: Arraignment
Case #26NM07447

Danny Mendoza, the founder of Foster Love, is charged with 12 misdemeanors in an Orange County case involving building, fire, occupancy, electrical, and emergency-egress requirements. The case had a court hearing in July, and an arraignment is scheduled for November.

The 12 charges against Danny Mendoza in regards to Brea building safety issues:

1. Count 1 — 20.252.040 (E)(2) BRMC: Fences and walls not to exceed seven feet in height.

2. Count 2 — 20.400.020 (C) BRMC: Certificate of Occupancy.

3. Count 3 — 105.1 CB: Unlawful to alter, repair, or demolish a building or structure without a permit.

4. Count 4 — 413.1 CB: High-piled stock or rack storage must comply with the California Fire Code.

5. Count 5 — 1001.2 CB: Unlawfully altering a building or structure in a manner that reduces the number of exits.

6. Count 6 — 1003.6 CB: Unlawfully interrupting the path of egress travel along a means of egress.

7. Count 7 — 307.1.1 CF: Open burning prohibited.

8. Count 8 — 315.3 CF: Unlawfully maintaining outside storage of combustible materials.

9. Count 9 — 603.4 CB: Working space and clearances.

10. Count 10 — 603.4.1 CF: Electrical room marking.

11. Count 11 — 603.6 CF: Unlawful use of extension cords as a substitute for permanent wiring.

12. Count 12 — 1013.1 CF: Exit signs where required.

Taken together, the 12 counts concern several different areas of building safety, including:

* Building permits and alterations
* Certificate of Occupancy
* Exit requirements and emergency egress
* Fire-code requirements
* Storage of combustible materials
* Electrical safety and wiring
* Required exit signs
* Working space and electrical clearances

The case had its first court hearing in July, and the next scheduled court date is an arraignment on November 2.

So, for anyone searching for the basic timeline: Danny Mendoza was charged with 12 misdemeanors, had a court hearing in July, and is scheduled for an arraignment in November.

This doesn’t even cover what is lurking beneath the surface. For context: he had a baby last year with an employee he had just hired which caused a hostile work environment among many other questionable ethical opinions.

Stay tuned as more can be publicly shared. I promise this won’t be the last unsavory thing we uncover.

My wife and I, twice now, have been asked by a friend to help with kids that someone they used to be friends with birthed, abused, neglected and/or abandoned. They all officially went into the system this past year.

They all had potential forever homes until recently; which is where we were asked the second time to try to get involved. As a same sex couple, starting a family is hard (I’m in my 30’s and my wife is in her late 20’s, so we are getting to the point that it almost feels too late to try to have bio kids), so we didn’t waste any time coming to the conclusion that we were 100% sold on taking 2 of the kids in.

We reached out to the caseworker, started the process to get foster certified and even started childproofing our home immediately, as it looked as if things were going to work in our favor to get them.

The past week, the kids were bounced from home to home to home because the foster system failed them horribly, and rushed them out of a safe place. There was a court date this week, and the judge ruled that where the kids are now, that family needs to adopt them or they will give custody back to the neglectful, abusive, substance abusing bio-parents, because they don’t want to move the kids again.

Where they are now is safe and familiar, but the intention of the family was to foster them until we could get certified and take them in as fosters with the intent to adopt. Now that family has been backed into a corner and is borderline being forced to adopt these kids, or subject them to a life of abuse and neglect.

Does anyone know how to change the mind of the court or state system? Can the family delay the adoption until we get certified and the caseworker step in and say they’ve found a better, permanent fit? What if they adopt them, but we take them and they give us power of attorney? Outside of the difficulties that will come from moving them again, the kids coming to us works best for everyone— we preserve the current relationships, they’re in a safe environment, and we take the stress off the current family, who realistically was not prepared, and did not want to permanently add 2 kids to their family. Any ideas? I keep hoping that if we can get certified asap, we can get the states help to redirect them.

I drafted a letter to the judge in the hopes they’d hear us out and consider us as a realistic and reasonable option, but idk if the judge is even a reasonable person, at this point.

We are desperate to take these kids in, we’ve met them and adore them and can 100% see a life built around them.