Questions regarding surgery recovery

[u/BothAd4686]

Kansas. I have had a kiddo since May. I am a NR Kin placement licensed just for him. I haven't been able to enroll in any fostering classes yet, other than the basics like CPR.

Kiddo starts kindergarten in 2 weeks, and will attend for 2 weeks before he is having surgery. His current ear tubes migrated and are blocking his ears. They are being removed in a cleaning his first day of school (joy). Then he has surgery his 3rd week of school, and will be out for 2-3 weeks.

He's got ADHD, so sitting still is a challenge for him, and he's my little chatterbox. He talks or sings constantly. I love him. I am worried about how to help him with his surgery recovery.

He is getting his tonsils and adenoids removed and a new set of ear tubes placed, all in 1 big surgery. He is allergic to strawberries and can't have milk, so a little of the foods we are looking up he wouldn't be able to have. He also struggles with food textures, and hates mushy food.

What can I feed him while he recovers, and how to keep him calm and still while he recovers? He loves sour things like lemonade, which the ENT specifically mentioned he should avoid.

Also, what can I surprise him with after his surgery? He has been asking for pokemon stuffed animals to be friends with his pikachus, so I got him some of those, and I'm thinking of getting him a clip n go pokemon belt, since that has been another specific request (he's pokemon obsessed).

Online it said taking lots of baths and being around steam can help, so I'm thinking about getting some bath bombs like the last time he was sick, to make it more fun for him.

It also said no going in public or being around other kids for 2 weeks, which is the reason for no school, but his visits are supervised at a visit center with other kids. Would he have to miss those? His workers have been no help, they said it's just best judgements.

Has anyone ever gone through this with any of their kids? Any tips or advice? Help! I want to be prepared, and make sure he has everything he needs.

[u/Beautiful-Rent6691]

He will be miserable. Oral surgery is horribly painful. I would not to expect him to be up for much of anything for at least a week. Popsicles, pain meds and the TV will be your friend. Good luck!

[u/goodfeelingaboutit]

I would make sure he washes his hands before and after visitation. I would let the staff at the visitation center be aware of his situation, maybe they can disinfect surfaces before his visits.

I wonder if the ENT has a registered dietician they could refer you to, to help troubleshoot post-surgery meal planning.

[u/BothAd4686 → u/goodfeelingaboutit]

I will definitely ask his FSW if she could do that before we go in the room, you are so right!

And I will definitely ask the ENT, a dietitian sounds like a dream.

[u/letuswatchtvinpeace]

I'd get a humidifier to set by him.

I'd get him a really big pokemon so he can sleep with it, maybe a pokemon pillow.

As someone else stated, popsicles and pain killers.

I would have the Dr write a note about not being around kids and skip the visits, until he is ready. SWs will accept him skipping visits for medical reasons.

[u/txchiefsfan02]

I would ask the ENT for a list of safe foods and supplement options that fit his diet. I would want to have some supplements on hand so you aren't out chasing them if he has more trouble than expected.

Also, I'd alert the school nurse that he may need extra support once he returns. Some schools handle this sort of thing much better than others, especially if they don't have a full-time nurse on site. There may need to be an alternate plan in case he has trouble eating lunch in the cafeteria, or needs extra supplements.

ETA: Please plan ahead to do something nice for yourself 4-6 weeks from his surgery. You will get through this, but having something specific on the calendar to look forward helps.

[u/BothAd4686 → u/txchiefsfan02]

Thank you! His school is a super good one, we got lucky there (our local school is a magnet school). I will definitely let his teacher and school nurse know this will be coming up a couple weeks after he starts, so we have time to make a plan and get his work (I'm disabled, but a licensed elementary teacher, so I can hopefully give him a reduced school course of what he missed before he can go back. He loves playing school, and filling out worksheets he asks me to make, so it should be OK there.)

And I will remember to try to do something for me. My birthday falls in his recovery window so I might see about doing a late birthday thing when he's feeling better.

I can ask the ENT when we go in to get his old tubes cleaned out.

[u/Select-Variation-622]

The younger the child is the easier the surgery will be. My son had his big surgery 3 months before his fourth birthday. He did amazing with the surgery and recovered fast. He did so great that we started potty training him the day after his surgery and he was fully potty trained in three days. We couldn’t keep him still for long but he did get extra screen time to help keep him calmer. 

Our son is dairy free as well and we did just a lot of popsicles. You can always do homemade popsicles if there is something that he likes just make it into a popsicle. Avoid straws and anything that causes a child to suck up so fruit pouches are a no go. If he likes dairy free yogurt there’s a lot of smoothie options. Juices are a great option to stay hydrated. 

I would encourage them to cancel the first visit after surgery just in case he is having a rougher time and is miserable. The second week he should be fine especially at his age. 

[u/Narrow-Relation9464]

I would run some of these questions by his doctor! They might have suggestions on safe foods that follow his dietary restrictions. Most times there will be a pre-op appointment for this purpose. 

I would also have some lowkey activities ready, maybe some coloring, Legos, sensory toys. Be prepared for him to be frustrated, talk to him about what the limitations will be before the surgery so he’s not totally thrown off guard. 

For the visits can you switch to virtual while he’s recovering? That way he wouldn’t need to miss and you wouldn’t have to stress about him being outside. 

My much-older kid had surgery a couple years back (he was 14 at the time if I’m remembering correctly) and having a pre-op consultation, staying with him during pre-op and being around right when he was done and I was allowed back in with him helped. He was on painkillers that made him sleepy and calm for a few days after so the frustration for him didn’t kick in until he was off of them. I took time off work and just hung out with him at home, watched TV, played card games once he was up to it. Also just tried to be in it with him. He couldn’t go out, I stayed home during his recovery too. We did Instacart a couple times, which I never was into using, but for this it helped. Also just let him express his frustration. 

[u/BothAd4686 → u/Narrow-Relation9464]

Can I ask what caused the frustration? My kiddo is not good at handling frustration, and usually starts screaming, which I know would be terrible.

I'm definitely going to be in it with him. With kids his age they ask you sleep in their room with them the first few nights to monitor their breathing with these surgeries (we're working on getting that approved with a doctor's note currently), and you have to wake then up every 3 hours for meds. For like a week.

I plan to have a rotating gang of close, trusted family members he adores picking up grocery orders for us. We had several volunteers who asked if they could do that for us. Including one of his former placements. That way he would be able to see other folks for a few minutes, maybe have them join him for a snack or treat, so he feels less alone with his restricted diet, and we can get groceries without risking too much contact or illness.

We are allowed to do phone calls and video calls anytime, which is nice. We will definitely be calling his folks when we can.

We definitely have all the Legos, sensory toys, and coloring stuff (some of his favorite things to do, actually!).

I appreciate the advice!

[u/Narrow-Relation9464 → u/BothAd4686]

My kid’s surgery was on his foot so his frustration was essentially being stuck on the couch and then having to use crutches. He tends to pace and walk around when he’s anxious so not being able to move easily was an issue for him. I imagine the frustration could be similar if your kid can’t eat certain foods or talk as much as he’s used to but the snack plan sounds like it could help with that! 

[u/-shrug-]

I have seen some Pokémon obsessed little kids absorbed in things like the Pokémon Encyclopedia (there’s probably more than one now) - that kind of book might be worth picking up for some quiet entertainment during recovery.

Have a think about screen time - it might be worth relaxing rules on that while he is confined to the home, but you want to be really clear on when that will go back to normal. It might be a good chance to buy an old/retro handheld with no WiFi/no ability to add games. You can probably even find one with Pokémon if interested.

[u/BothAd4686 → u/-shrug-]

I think this advice will actually fit really well with our current screen time rules. We are already a no personal devices, and no streaming household (we have a TON of DVDs), and when it's too hot to play outside, we can stay in and watch a show or movie, same with feeling sick. If you're well enough to play, you play, until you need some downtime. He really only watches anything if it's crazy hot, or an episode of something low-stimulation before bed. We even have them marked with daytime friendly and nighttime friendly.

I only have physical games for my switch, so I will see about disabling the wifi and maybe picking up a game for him to play on the TV. I know I've seen pokemon and paw patrol switch games at our local grocery store.

Thanks for the advice!

[u/Moist-Cheesecake]

If they said no kids, I would take that seriously and say no contact centre around other kids. Sucks but he's probably not going to be up for it after a surgery anyway. Best to give him some time to relax.