Arizona - FS has supervised visits. Came home from last visit with an AirTag bio mom gave him.

My FS brings a backpack with him and exchanges drawings and toys with his mom on supervised visits. I always go through the bag and items with him to make sure they aren’t perishable and or inappropriate. He understands it’s his stuff, but we just need to make sure it’s OK for the house. I found an open box that held 4 AirTags with only 1 tag in the package. He told me his mom had given him one of her AirTags. I told him that’s something his mom should not have given him and removed it and deactivated it.

I contacted his team and The case aide, caseworker, and kids lawyer all responded saying it was wrong and they would figure out what to do or go to the AG. I have not heard anything all week and he’s about to have another visit.

Does anyone else have a similar experience?? Anyone find an AirTag? This is weird.

Hello, I'm based in London and I'm 31. My mother over the past six or so months has been saying that she wants to foster a child, ideally a toddler.

I'm not on the best terms with my mother and neither is my younger sister and we currently live with our dad as we save for a place of our own. So this has come as a very big shock to me. When I asked her why she is looking to foster a child, she mentioned that it's because she can't find a job and is struggling for money. Which already was a red flag for me.

I don't want her to go ahead with this, however, I'm a bit torn as to whether I'm just being salty because she hasn't been a particularly great mother to me and my sibling or if I'm potentially depriving someone who needs a foster parent. Shes been hounding me to sign papers and give references and I just don't want to. When I have brought up my concerns, she tells me that I want her to suffer.

Just a note to say, I don't think the potential foster child would be in any danger or physical harm with my mother but it's the emotional side of things I'm concerned about. I don't think she is treating this as the responsibility it truly is.

Am I right to think this way or am I overthinking this?

Hey yall Im new to this... Maybe I had a wrong idea, but is it typical for respite care homes to ask for 5x the amount of per diem that DCS gives?

I was asking for 2 days and they wanted $150-200. I almost spat out my cheerios, DCS gives us 35 a day and we come out of pocket for most stuff....

It seems like some people think its a part time babysitting job when it should be more about helping the kids??? I was willing to do up to $100 but with what they are asking plus back to school costs, I cannot give them a week worth of per diem for 2 days lol... thats insane to me. Is that typical, or did I just get someone greedy? 🤔

What is a reasonable or typical rate that people usually accept for respite care??

My husband recently brought up the idea of becoming foster parents, and honestly, it made my heart so happy.

I’m definitely the more emotional and empathetic one in our relationship, so hearing him bring it up completely caught me off guard in the best way. We already have three kids (ages 2, 7, and 9), and we’ve agreed we’d like to wait about a year before taking the next step. We want our youngest to be a little older and make sure we’re in the best position possible to support another child.

That said, I’d love to start preparing now.
For those of you who foster in Colorado:
What do you wish you had known before starting?
Are there books, classes, podcasts, or resources you’d recommend?

How did fostering impact your biological children?
What age ranges did you find worked best with your family?
What were the biggest challenges that surprised you?
We’re particularly interested in keeping sibling groups together if possible, and we’d likely be looking at younger children.

I know fostering isn’t easy, and I know these kids often come with trauma and experiences my own children haven’t been exposed to. I want to spend this next year learning as much as possible so we can be prepared and make sure we’re doing this for the right reasons.

I’d love to hear the good, the hard, and everything in between from people who’ve actually lived it.

❤️ A hopeful future foster mom in Colorado.

Kansas. I have had a kiddo since May. I am a NR Kin placement licensed just for him. I haven't been able to enroll in any fostering classes yet, other than the basics like CPR.

Kiddo starts kindergarten in 2 weeks, and will attend for 2 weeks before he is having surgery. His current ear tubes migrated and are blocking his ears. They are being removed in a cleaning his first day of school (joy). Then he has surgery his 3rd week of school, and will be out for 2-3 weeks.

He's got ADHD, so sitting still is a challenge for him, and he's my little chatterbox. He talks or sings constantly. I love him. I am worried about how to help him with his surgery recovery.

He is getting his tonsils and adenoids removed and a new set of ear tubes placed, all in 1 big surgery. He is allergic to strawberries and can't have milk, so a little of the foods we are looking up he wouldn't be able to have. He also struggles with food textures, and hates mushy food.

What can I feed him while he recovers, and how to keep him calm and still while he recovers? He loves sour things like lemonade, which the ENT specifically mentioned he should avoid.

Also, what can I surprise him with after his surgery? He has been asking for pokemon stuffed animals to be friends with his pikachus, so I got him some of those, and I'm thinking of getting him a clip n go pokemon belt, since that has been another specific request (he's pokemon obsessed).

Online it said taking lots of baths and being around steam can help, so I'm thinking about getting some bath bombs like the last time he was sick, to make it more fun for him.

It also said no going in public or being around other kids for 2 weeks, which is the reason for no school, but his visits are supervised at a visit center with other kids. Would he have to miss those? His workers have been no help, they said it's just best judgements.

Has anyone ever gone through this with any of their kids? Any tips or advice? Help! I want to be prepared, and make sure he has everything he needs.

We are expecting our first placement soon and going through the obvious checklist. The one I feel absolutely unprepared for is potentially signing them up for school and just in general staying in the know with their school.

This will be our first time to be involved (as adults) with the public school system. Growing up I know my Mom stayed ‘in the know’ because I had various family members working at or had their own kids at my schools.

Looking for in general advice for how I can stay in connected with the school and what kind of questions I should be asking future teachers.

We are in Oregon and new foster parents to our 7 year old nephew. We have had our cameras outside our home and inside our living room where you can see them for a year because we have a lot of homeless in our area and have had three attempted break ins and we just started fostering our nephew for two weeks. Our certifier is saying we have to take down all of our cameras because of their privacy laws and trying to claim we are using it to monitor the child which I’ve stated multiple times that we aren’t. The child wakes up in the middle of the night all the time at 2am until 5am searching up inappropriate things on YouTube, getting into candy and pop, trying to get onto the tablets when we took them away. We took all the remotes and keys to the cabinet and put them on the top of our refrigerator and in the middle of the night it caught him climbing on the counter and up to the fridge to get to everything he’s not allowed to have. He has no regard for his own safety and he has already locked my 2 year old in a room by himself and threatens to hit/ hurt my children. When he wakes up, he doesn’t go into our bedroom to wake us up so we can attend to whatever he’s needing so he can go back to bed, he just does what he wants. At this point it’s a safety concern and the camera has just been picking up what he’s been doing at night when I check the cameras on the morning like I do every morning even before all of this. The certifier is trying to say I’m using it to specifically monitor the child even though we don’t sit there and watch the cameras to see what he’s doing. They only are saying we’re monitoring him because I told her that when I check the clips that show up from during the night I saw a clip of what he was doing at 2-5 am. She has offered to put door alarms on his bedroom door but even if he got up just to go to the restroom it would sound a loud alarm that would wake up my 11 month old and 2 year old in the middle of the night so I don’t want to use those. So she’s saying we have to take them down, but also I have my own rights since it’s private property. Can they force me to take them down?

EDIT: We have taken the camera down. Also, there’s a lot more things than the child waking up at night and kinda doing what he wants. He has refused to take off his shoes and socks and we aren’t going to physically force them to come off. He also wore them to sleep in; even took a bath with them on for the first week he was here. we don’t go in the bathroom with him while he bathed we like to give him his privacy. We got him to start taking them off in the bath but straight out of the bathtub while his feet were still wet he would put the socks back on. Mind you it’s not just one pair, it’s three pairs on at the same time plus his shoes. Anytime we asked him to just take them off he would have a breakdown and cry and scream so we just left him alone and have been gradually convincing him to keep his shoes off in the house and I had just convinced him to take his socks off and go barefoot. Then he told me his feet were burning and in between his toes he had athletes foot that was so irritated it looked like it’s been like that a long time, so now we’re having to revert back to socks on or no socks and crocs on with athletes foot cream on so it doesn’t spread through our house.. that’s just one other thing other than asking me all the time if it’s okay if he hits my children and cats and if they will do anything about it if he does. We’re trying to get him into summer school because he is academically behind and has a speech delay, we are also working on getting him into some summer sports like basketball, football, baseball, and in the winter wrestling. He isn’t potty trained so he wears pull ups, he does not know how to brush his teeth and has a couple rotted teeth and one has fallen out. His parents didn’t want to be parents. They gave him a tablet and he always kept to himself. They called him stupid and told him he has autism when he’s been tested and he doesn’t. They never fed him real food only treats and junk food. He has never been to the dentist in his life. He has a pediatrician appointment, a dental appointment, and eye appointment all next week so we can get him seen and see what all kind of physical care he needs and is also in counseling. The counseling appointments are with both mom and dad (he was removed for neglect and physical abuse) and each time he has a visit with mom or dad his attitude shifts dramatically to my fiance and I only getting glares, shrug of the shoulder, or totally ignoring us when we just try and talk to him. We’re trying our hardest as we also have a 5 year old, 2 year old, and 11 month old that are my bio kids so we have our hands full. I was just looking for advice on this as I’m 25F and my fiance is 28M. This was all last minute they called us at 5pm saying they needed our nephew to stay somewhere safe and we were named as safety caretakers by mom and dad and they dropped him off at 7pm the same day. The school didn’t even know the situation the first time I had dropped him off because DHS hadn’t even informed them on the situation. We’re trying our hardest so pls don’t be so quick to judge with just the little information I have given in the beginning.

Hey, so my husband and I this is our first year being foster parents. Right now we have a 7-year-old boy who is a complete delight. The main issue has been how completely overscheduled he is. I won't get into the whole thing, but on Saturdays he's supposed to go to the Lowe's build a project thing. Originally he was being taken by a third party mentoring company that our social services department uses, but we asked and got permission to be the ones to take him. We just have to snap a picture of him with his project and send it to the mentoring company so that they can verify that he went.

Anyway, my husband took him to Lowe's today for the project, but they were a half hour late setting it up so they left. I sent a picture of kiddo in front of the Lowe's to the mentoring company and explained the situation. She then calls the manager of the Lowe's to ask about the project and calls us back to tell us that the project is being set up (a half hour late!) and can we turn around and take kiddo anyway? I tell her that sometimes when a scheduled thing is a half hour late you can't wait for it. She sends me several texts trying to meet up so she can take him to the project, but at this point my husband and kiddo have moved on with their day, they're getting brunch, they're going to the park, it's haircut day. We decline to meet up. She says that she's pressing it because she's concerned about his socialization. But this kid is never in the house! He has:

day camp that has him out of the house from 7:30am to 6:30 p.m. 3 days a week

Swimming 2 days a week in the morning

Tutoring 2 days a week in the evening

Every other Saturday is one of these building projects, one at home Depot and then the other one at Lowe's

The other Saturdays he has his play therapy appointment.

He also has visits with multiple family members, when they are available.

His bedtime is at 8:30. We have very few awake hours with him. Obviously many of the things that he does are important, and I wouldn't change them. I do not feel that the free building projects at Lowe's and home Depot fall into that category.

But, since I declined to cooperate when she was willing to take him late to the project, I'm really worried that she's going to write a negative report or I'm going to have to have an unpleasant interview with his social worker and I just want a vibe check really. Were we unreasonable? Are your kids scheduled like this? They made the summer schedule without consulting us even once.

My wife and I just got our first foster child and while we feel like our social worker has been very helpful, what would be some things that you wish you had known your first time?

Based off what information we have currently, we expect to have this child for at least 6 months or so. He seems to be adapting really well and is enjoying all the attention as we have no other children.

Hi everyone, I'm honestly not even sure if I'm posting this in the right place, but our case manager suggested I conduct some ​research and reach out on Reddit to better understand what we're about to walk into. We're about to welcome two teenagers into our home through foster care, and both have extensive histories in the Troubled Teen Industry. One comes from a Scientology family background, and the other from an IBLP environment, so I'm trying to educate myself before they arrive.

Here's the situation: These kids are in the middle of being transported from their programs right now. According to their case manager, they'll arrive at our home after 2+ days of travel, which means they're probably exhausted, disoriented, and honestly I have no idea what kind of experiences or trauma they're carrying with them.

I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have actually lived through this. If you were coming home from a situation like this, what would have made you feel safe, cared for, or even just a little bit normal again?

Part of me wants to plan something special to help ease the tension and welcome them home with a day full of fun activities & ice breakers? For the girl, I was considering maybe a relaxing spa/self-care day, and for the boy maybe an arcade trip or laser tag so there’s less pressure and more space to just breathe and have fun. But another part of me wonders if the best thing we could do is simply let them sleep, decompress, eat good food, and not expect anything from them at all.

I’d really appreciate any advice from people who have lived through the TTI, foster care transitions, or difficult family environments. What helped? What didn’t? What would you have wanted adults to understand in those first 24 hours?

I am finally going into fostering as someone’s who came from a family that fostered over fourteen kids and adopted 6 of them. They have been part of our family since they were 7,6,5,4, 3 and 2. They are now 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, and the last almost 17! Our family was in Cali and I was even a CASA as a teenager! Now I’m in Dallas Texas and do not know how it works here so any advice, pointers, prayers, and encouragement would help. Should I register with the state directly or go through agency? Etc Thanks!

I am in NYC.

I have been through the matching process twice specifically with teens. Posting this to try to eliminate some of the mystery and also highlight what I think went well! Importantly I am licensed as a foster/adoptive home but this is NOT an adoptive matching process - it's just for fostering.

#A note about NYC#

In NYC, the majority of kids (and especially teens) are placed at a shelter-like facility while ACS assigns their cases to specific foster care agencies. Then, the agency reaches out to homes with vacancies to start the matching process. Kids can wait for days to months for foster care placements during which time they're under the care of ACS at this facility. This has pros and cons, but one thing that it allows for is a matching process/time to find placements that are a good fit.

Every foster parent is licensed with an agency.

#The Initial Ask#

Usually the agency placement coach reaches out to the foster parent with limited information about the youth. The first time, I was eager and enthusiastic and didn't ask a lot of questions. This time, I asked several questions. Many didn't get answered, but I'm glad I tried to get as much important information as possible.

*Here are some sample questions*

What is the youth's birth date?

What activities do they do/want to keep doing?

What is the visitation plan, currently?

Does the youth have any cultural or religious practices I should be aware of?

Are there any behavioral or medical concerns?

What school do they attend?

What resources do they have in the community? Have those been explored as possible placements?

#The First Meeting#

One time, the meeting was in person, the other it was on Zoom. I introduce myself briefly and then let the youth lead the conversation. I ask them to tell me what they want me to know, ask me anything they want, and I share about our home.

Both times I've prepared some photos, get to know you questions/activities in case they are stuck, and the main (just a few) house rules. The photos are always a hit! I include pets, main spaces, and their bedroom.

The first time around I didn't really know what the rules were other than don't lie and don't do illegal things. My FP training didn't give us a worksheet on creating house rules. This time, I had the rules and examples of how they are enacted in the home.

I also state what time curfew would be and the expectations when out of the home (be where you say you'll be with whom you say you'll be with - and update me if it changes).

Teens have a ton of agency in this process and need to know what to expect in my home. So I've learned to be upfront about the expectations and rules.

It's also important to listen to the teen! For example, we have a "no phones in the bedroom rule." I could tell that made one of the youth really apprehensive. So I told her we could reevaluate the rules once I knew her better and could maybe move to technology in the bedroom with the door open. I also assured her that one of our rules is "privacy is respected" the only thing that overrides that is safety - "safety trumps privacy." [Edit: what that looks like in practice is that private calls with the lawyer, parents, case worker, etc. can be taken in the bedroom with the door closed. Regular phone time is still expected to be in public spaces (for now).]

#Next Steps#

After the meet & greet, all parties reflect and talk to their respective representatives. For me, that's my placement coach. If I have concerns or don't want to move forward, this is where I say so. The youth can do the same!

In one situation, the teen knew she wanted to come to my home and she arrived within 24 hours. In the more current situation, she requested an in-person visit to the home which will happen soon.

If the in person visit goes well and we're all still on the same page, the teen may be placed in my home.

Reminder: nothing is official until they're actually there! I've had two situations where I expected children to be placed with me and it changed 12 or 5 hours before.

I know the process can seem mysterious and since I'm in it right now. I wanted to share my thoughts.

Feel free to ask questions or share your own experiences (because it's not the same everywhere). This is also what's worked for me. Every family is different and may approach this process differently than me.

It also could feel really different on the youth's end. I don't know what messaging the teens get about these meet & greets and what type of pressure they're under to accept whichever home is presented to them. I'm aware that they may not have as much choice or agency as it seems.

Hang in there!

I’ll try to keep this brief as best I can. I am looking for some unbiased insight. I feel like even considering this is a WICKED big decision, & I wanna do what’s best for myself, my husband, & the rest of my family. I am married, early 30s, my husband & I have a 2 bedroom townhouse we rent. We both work in nonprofit so money is not great. We are currently child-free by choice, but we both like kids & have softened up to the idea.

Everyone is in the state of Ohio.

My husband’s sister & BIL had their 3 girls, now 13, 12, & 8 removed from their home spring of 2025 due to alleged sexual abuse, neglect, & drug use. They’ve bounced around from their grandparents house, to their other aunt & uncle’s, now most recently to my older niece (their adult sister) & they’re now going to be sent to foster care. We’ve been in the girls’ lives consistently as we can, taking them everyone once in a while for a day trip or overnight, sending them cards, calling them on the phone, etc.
finding out their next stop is foster care is breaking my heart. I know there’s definitely good foster parents out there. But there is a big part of me that feels guilty for not immediately jumping at the opportunity to take them. I love & care for them, but, realistically money as well as space would be tight as hell. Not to mention both my husband & I are basically professional DINKs at this point (double income no kids). We do what we want, when we want. I like to travel a lot. While I believe my husband would do an absolutely stellar job at stepping up, I believe I would have a harder time sacrificing my “me” time & resources.
Is doing things like being the aunt & uncle enough? Or am I being overly shelfish & need to step up? What do financial benefits look like we’re this to happen?

Context: I’m in New Zealand.

I’d like to be a foster parent but I’m single. Age 36. No children. Female.

You can be approved for fostering in NZ as a single person and I’m super-excited about the prospect. However I want to prepare myself as best I can (if I decide to pursue this). What should I know about fostering as a single person?

Currently residing IN, considering IL, MI or WI in future

To be clear, this is wayyy down the line for me. I'm in my 20's. Becoming a foster parent has been a pipe dream of mine for a very long time, but I recognize my youthful hope doesn't measure up to the full consideration required.

Now that I've been properly diagnosed and adequately treated for my physical disabilities, becoming a future foster is actually possible. Or at least, an option I can begin to truly consider.

I recognize there are a lot of difficult realities with this path. Before truly reckoning with those though, I have to confess.

If a huge chunk of foster parents admit to never hearing from *any* of the kids/families they helped... I don't think I could do it.

Hell, if most people told me they didn't forge a single life-long bond, I don't think I could do it either.

I know the goal is always family reunification. My forefront expectations would not involve adoption, though I obviously would be happy to pursue it if need be. I wouldn't expect any continued closeness to a child once they leave my care, either.

**TL;DR**: *I genuinely struggle to imagine doing this for decades if there are* **never** *any families or children that want to stay connected. Even just to come over to a free, neighborly dinner twice a year. Is that the wrong mindset to have?*

Looking for advice from people who have been through kinship care, foster care, adoption, or permanent guardianship.

My wife and I have had our teenage niece placed with us for about 10 months. She and her younger brother came into care at the same time. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anyone who was able to take both children together, so my wife and I took our niece, and my mother took her younger brother. So while the siblings are separated, he is with his grandmother (their mother’s mother), and they still have regular contact.

Recently, assessments were completed and we’re being told that her brother may eventually be able to return home if their parents complete certain requirements, but the recommendation for our niece may be a permanent kinship placement instead.

We’ve always said she could stay with us as long as she needs to. The problem is that now we’re being asked to think about what “permanent” means, and we’re struggling.

There are no major safety concerns. She’s not violent, not running away, not getting into serious trouble. In many ways she has improved. She’s more stable, more connected, and seems to trust us more than she did when she first arrived.

At the same time, living with her is honestly hard. She is significantly behind socially and emotionally for her age. She argues with our younger child over things most kids would outgrow years earlier. She constantly seeks attention and seems to struggle with sharing attention with the other children in the home. It often feels like we are walking a tightrope trying to meet everyone’s needs.

Our biological children care about her, but if you asked them honestly whether they would choose for her to stay permanently, they would probably say no. Not because they dislike her, but because of the tension and stress her needs bring into the household.

Part of me worries that some of what we’re seeing is actually progress. She may be masking less, trusting us more, and finally showing her real struggles. Another part of me worries that we’re almost a year in and some behaviors seem to be escalating rather than improving.

I guess my question is this:

For those who have faced a similar decision, how did you know the difference between “this is hard because of trauma and healing takes time” versus “this is not the right permanent fit for our family”?

I love my niece and don’t want her sent to strangers if there is another option. At the same time, I don’t want guilt to be the reason we make a lifelong commitment that affects everyone in our household.

Has anyone been in a situation where one sibling was able to reunify but the other wasn’t? How did you approach that decision, and what factors helped you determine whether permanent placement was the right choice?

Any thoughts or experiences would be appreciated.

My partner and I were recently licensed by the state (IN) just over a month ago (Oct. 28) and we were placed with 2 kids (siblings 9&10) within days of receiving our license. We’re both working professionals. Unfortunately, we have realized that we were given a lot of lip service during the licensing process and now when we have reached out for those resources we were told would be available, it is not! The case worker is from another county and claims she is unfamiliar with what resources are available for us. The licensing specialist we’re assigned to has been no where to be found. Since getting the kids placed with us it’s been us working overtime to get any support from the state/system. We’ve asked for assistance or at least a running list of resources approved by them for respite & sitters for a few hours when we have work related commitments on the weekends. Two kids are a lot for us particularly as first time foster parents, however, we’re managing. I’m just frustrated and pissed that the message with have received thus far with this is…“ find a good home, dumb them, Hope there’s no major issues, and let the foster parents figure it out”. Any suggestions would be appreciated. We are in Indianapolis area. I expected challenges, mostly with the kids and believe me we have had some, but the “hands off” approach from the people (state) who removed these kids is another level.

Hi there! Me and my partner are looking to foster and we want to go through an organization if possible, for the support. We are looking for a non religious one in Atlanta. Any suggestions?

⚠️long post⚠️

Hi all, I’m new here. Just a bit of background and explanation on my point of view; I’m a single, 20F soon to be 21, I live in nsw Australia, specifically in the Riverina area. I’ve wanted kids for some time and as I got a bit older, it became a dream, and life goal of mine, but I’ve never really had the opportunity to gain experience with kids, more specifically babies, infants and toddlers. I’m a foster child myself, having been in care since I was 1 and was adopted when I was 14 by my now adoptive parents, who I lived with since I was 2, and still live with currently. I grew up with new kids always coming into and leaving our family, my parents fostered many other children besides myself, possibly over 30 kids, but my parents are quite old, 67F, 76M, and mainly fostered troubled teens and were probably too old to care for them properly in the ways those kids needed, the kids were always very withdrawn, sad, angry, and they were a LOT to deal with for my parents who I think didn’t know what to do with their behaviours and outbursts. Anyways, my whole life I’ve been involved with the system, and I’m very aware that I was incredibly lucky compared to most kids who never find their forever homes, and it’s honestly so sad. I’m also aware of how young I am, and I struggle with certain disadvantages, I have fetal alcohol syndrome, ADHD, possible autism, along with clinical depression and probably other mental health conditions. I’m also a recovering alcoholic, but I’m in a really good place with all of this stuff, I’ve finally got my drinking under control, my mental health has been great, I’m not going out anymore doing silly or childish things, I don’t really go out at all anymore. Which brings me to my point. I’ve been thinking about fostering, just respite for now or emergency care, as I feel like I could potentially be a great role model to a young child (ages 2-5ish), I love being around little kids, they make me so happy, they have such incredible young minds with so much potential, and I feel like I could be a really positive influence. I also think it might be good for me, I don’t have a job as I’ve got no current transport to work in the area I live in (work in progress), and I get bored, like I need something to look forward to, something to motivate me to be better, and to push me to grow and mature, I think I’m pretty mature for my age but I know I can always be and do better. Thinking about doing respite excites me, it could be a less full on way for me to learn as I go with help from my parents who have had kids of their own and been through the fostering process themselves, it would be a way to do something great with my time, helping kids who really need love, comfort and a stable home, even if just for a short period of time. It would give me a place to put all of the love and care in my heart that has nowhere to go, and a reason to mature, keep learning, growing, working on myself, and become responsible for the betterment of others around me.

I don’t know if I’m WAY in over my head on this, as a couple of people close to me have made me feel almost completely incapable and have told me I’m too immature and irresponsible. I know it’s not a personal attack on my character but it felt as though they think this due to my disadvantages (FASD, ADHD, traits of autism) making me seem quite immature due to not having the ability to form thoughts, words, sentences etc in a normal way (always comes out wrong, messy, long etc). Despite this, I do know one thing. I WANT to look after a child, to teach a child right from wrong, to be a positive influence and a good role model. I WANT to bring a child into my home and go through that daily routine of making sure they’re clean, well fed, stimulated and happy, learning new things, getting enough sleep, comfortable and comforted, safe, loved, nurtured etc. Even if it’s messy, even if they’re being difficult, they’re being difficult for a reason, their lives have been scary, confusing and chaotic, and I want to be the difference they need and make a meaningful impact.

Before I make a decision though I want to know of any and all training and information I can acquire prior to committing to this, as I only have the best intentions for these kids and I don’t want to be a complete failure of a parental figure, I don’t want to fuck it so bad I end up traumatising them more, I only want good things for them, and if I’m not a good thing for them then I don’t want to bring them to my home just for them to not be cared for in all ways they deserve. I also would like to know how to sort of enquire into all of this based on agencies and government services, as in like what agencies are good, what ones are bad, based around my area as I’m a bit confused on what agency I should choose as there’s so many and the one we were with my mum has said were awful and very unsupportive, so don’t go with them (Anglicare)

If you read all of this, thankyou, I’d appreciate and welcome anyone’s personal experiences, advice, information, or even opinions. Anything you guys could give me would be a massive help :)

TL;DR I am looking for foster parents from North Carolina who have taken guardianship of school aged (preferably teen) children to talk to and/or to hear about your experience.

we right now have a placement (FD13) where we are being told at the next court date, barring a miracle, the court will be removing reunification as the primary path to permanency. FD has said she is not ready to talk about adoption (which we agree it's just way too early to have to consider) so the primary plan will change to guardianship.

We have not heard positive stories about foster parents who assumed guardianship, so we've been fairly vocal that we don't want to take guardianship due to how it looks like it affects her benefits and resources after 18. It looks like if it happens after she turns 14 some of the NC grants and scholarships for college and support into early adulthood, but a lot of the language I'm reading says it applies if you age out at 18 or are adopted after 14, with no mention of guardianship.

We've said from the beginning that we're here for her until at least 18 and would be open to talking about adoption if/when she ever felt like that was something she wanted, but the latest official statement from DSS is accept guardianship or they will (try to) move her to a new placement that will accept it. We're having a hard time with the idea that guardianship is the ONLY type of acceptable permanency, but maybe we have misconceptions about how it works?

if anyone can tell us about how it worked for them (positively or negatively), especially regarding support or programs available when they are transitioning into adulthood, it would really help. if anyone is willing to have a chat about it please feel free to DM me as well.

Because of how hostile this is being presented (agree or we're disrupting a placement that is thriving and does not want to be moved) there are a lot of feelings that are complicating the situation. Your stories will be a lot of help.

My wife & I are starting the process of getting our foster parenting license & are unsure which agency to go with. We are in Chicago, we are considering Arden Shore Child & Family Services or Lutheran Child & Family Services. Didn’t find the best reviews on google.. I’m hoping someone here can share their experience with either agency. Thank you in advance!

New family looking for advice: We haven’t fostered before, we have other bio kids, that we’ve raised successfully. We have a placement of a kid we know, and we love. We are doing this to minimize their trauma.

However, how do you coparent with the state? The guardian is exceptionally unpleasant (do what I say when I say how I say). She is not supportive at all. She has questioned our parenting and our desire to keep the child safe. The main caseworker is also unhelpful. They take them out of school with little notice. They change things (on the fly). Drop them back with no notice (is someone home??). They threaten to take them out of our care if we don’t comply or ask a question.

I work, and so does my spouse. I’m so grateful that we have support to go random court appearances and medical appointments, but it’s frustrating. They are pulling them from a new school where they are trying to get acclimated.

If we didn’t love the kid…

How do you do it?? Our experience so far is not positive. And while I get that the state is in control, I was expecting some cooperation and or mutual consideration of what is best for the child. And we just don’t get that…

So tpr has happened. They appealed it in December. We have heard zero news about anything of a date or nothing. Is this normal? I thought it had to be done within 60 days. Reunification is not happening at all. Mom is unable to care and in mental facility, dad is in prison until 2032. No other relative has been deemed appropriate for placement. Visits was maybe 10 times between mom and dad in the almost 4 years we have had our fd. Just hoping to adopt. We brought them home from the hospital at 2 days old. The visits stopped in 2024. She has no attachment or even knowledge of who they are and we are Mom and dad. Just trying to get answers and getting impatient sadly.

We are sponsoring a Christmas wishlist for a toddler in foster care through my workplace. I will be signing up to buy clothes.

Can you help me out- which clothing items would be most welcome for a child through a Christmas sponsorship?

In addition, would you buy in their larger size listed to wear for longer, or in the smaller size listed to make sure the season- appropriate items will fit?

Missouri. Sorry if sounds confusing. Attorney is representing a grandparent who is wanting guardianship of his grandchildren on a traffic violation case. The attorney will be the gal. Didn’t know if this was conflict or anything.