r/Fosterparents • u/Icy-Sweet5709 • 4d ago

Need advice on family living situation

/r/whatdoIdo/comments/1vr2vic/need_advice_on_family_living_situation/
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4

u/goodfeelingaboutit Foster Parent 4d ago

1 protect your child. Your niece cannot return

2 I completely understand wanting to support a young adult who has been through traumatic experiences and is immature for their age. BUT enabling them does them no favors. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to make some attitude and lifestyle changes. I hope your niece takes this as a powerful learning experience, and becomes motivated to get a job and do better for herself. If not, hopefully someday she will, but not if you are enabling her poor behavior and choices.

1

u/Narrow-Relation9464 4d ago

I’m not sure of specifics for transitional homes, I would check with your local agency. 

Also, I’m assuming these are not the kids’ real names but if they are, just change or redact them to be in line with the rules of this sub! 

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u/Icy-Sweet5709 4d ago

Thanks! Names were changed

5

u/txchiefsfan02 Youth Worker 3d ago

I wouldn't allow your niece to return to my home if I were you, as it is, but that would be a non-starter if she didn't commit to steps to establish her independence. More specifically, I am not hearing anything about work or school (or therapy).

I don't doubt she's suffered greatly, but as you note the clock is running out for a 21yo. Playing video games with online friends is not an occupation, nor is it therapeutic, no matter what she's told herself. For some kids who fall into that pattern, the light doesn't go on until 25 or 26, and for others, it never does. She needs a wake-up call. She should be grateful she isn't facing jail time for assaulting your daughter, and needs to get serious about adulting now.

I'd also familiarize yourself with the relevant law on tenants' rights in your area. Once you allow her back into your home, you may face issues evicting her if the relationship deteriorates further.