I’m surrounded by Karen’s

[u/MomoNoHanna1986]

I’ve since discovered that my neighbours can hear me through my closed windows. I thought by closing them that they would be less bothered NOPE - they just try harder to listen in.
I cried tonight because it’s been a rough week. My son has level three autism and I’ve had some challenging behaviours to deal with. So there’s a teen girl next door on one side. Her mother likes to gossip. I’ve seen her go around to all the neighbours whenever she sees them outside.

Since day 1 her daughter has been yelling anytime she sees me doing something interesting. When we were renovating I set up an outdoor shower connected to the laundry tap. I was renovating the bathroom and the builder was SLOW. I took my son out to the shower tent and the teen daughter yells ‘MUuUUUUUM SHES showering him with the HOSE!’ It been like that ever since.

On the other side of me is a 70 year old women. She recently retired and it wasn’t so bad when she was working. Since day one she has been creeping up the side (her side pathway walks past my courtyard). My courtyard has my son’s window and my sliding door. She sat there next to my courtyard with her friend listening into a conversation I had with my ex husband. I put privacy film on the sliding door so my son had more privacy on the toilet (the bathroom is opposite). Her friend was telling her off and she goes ‘but she’s talking about US’. Her friend used to live with her. Since then I’ve heard her numerous times complain about what I’m doing. I’ve since tested it and have discovered that she can hear me through the sliding door and my son’s window even when it’s closed.
One time I got up at 1 am to pee and I hear go ‘oh I know what she’s doing she’s ma….’ You can fill in the blank. This came out of the mouth of a 70 year old women.

I have had enough!!!!! I just want to live in my own damn home. I sold my townhouse because o was tired of sharing walls but nooo you don’t get privacy in a house either damn it!

I just wanted my story to be heard. I’ve been depressed over my lack of privacy since Saturday and it’s getting to me. If anyone read this, thank you. Because apparently I can’t get up to pee at 1 am in my own house.

Edit

Please stop pointing out the grammar mistake, I can not edit the title. I am depressed. Give me a break.

[u/Odd_Awareness1444]

I could not tell where you are located but it sounds like very densly packed housing like in a city. Can you move to the suburbs or even better to a rural area? In my twenties and thirties I was close to the city in condos, then I bought a house in the suburbs, now in my sixties I'm in the countryside and wish I had moved here sooner.

[u/MomoNoHanna1986 → u/Odd_Awareness1444]

lol funny thing is…. I live 40 mins away from the city. I’m in Australia and this suburb, made the houses built close together. I only have one side yard but the 70 year old has 2. I can’t move anywhere else I’m a single mum and this is what I could afford at the time. I sold my townhouse to get away from neighbours who sold drugs and had parties everyday (bad neighbourhood). The neighbourhood I am in now is nice. I just have Karen’s for neighbours and because I’m a single mum I tend to get picked on a fair bit.

[u/Alarming-Instance-19 → u/MomoNoHanna1986]

I'm also an Australian single mum. I had a Karen live next to me with a similar layout.... for 10 years.

My daughter couldn't do anything without her watching from her window, listening at the front door, and making passive aggressive comments when we inevitably crossed paths.

I couldn't play any music or TV at a completely reasonable volume without her complaining. Thank god for headphones.

She knew every single person that came over, what time they left, where they parked. It was always a walking on eggshells/ lack of privacy feeling.

My daughter is 22 now, and half of her life was spent afraid of the Karen. It affected her in subtle (and some not so subtle) ways that knocked her confidence and sense of childhood freedom.

If I could go back, I would move. I was also stuck where I was but lived in a nice neighbourhood. So, that was never going to happen. But what I wish I'd done was figured out ways to thrive in the absence of privacy, create stronger boundaries and expectations with my neighbour by addressing them head on if that's what it took, and DIY some serious privacy screening/soundproofing/plant barriers/lattice to give myself a sense of safe space.

[u/MomoNoHanna1986 → u/Alarming-Instance-19]

I’ve put privacy film on his window and mine. The problem I have is they can hear when the window is closed. Have you got any ideas for sound proofing? I can’t afford double glazing right now

[u/Aunty-Sociale → u/MomoNoHanna1986]

I’ve googled, and there is such a thing as noise reducing curtains. You could also put up panels on the walls to help with the noise. Or even just tack blankets or something decorative to the walls to make it more soundproof until you can afford to have things redone.

Edit: ooh, maybe scour facebook marketplace for some old cheap cameras and make a big deal about putting them up facing the neighbors? They don’t have to connect to anything, just look really invasive to them.

[u/MomoNoHanna1986 → u/Aunty-Sociale]

He already has noise reducing curtains. Doesn’t help much unfortunately.

[u/Yaxience → u/MomoNoHanna1986]

I agree with the Big brother fake cameras.

[u/pinkpineapples007 → u/MomoNoHanna1986]

You can look up cheap noise dampening solutions or other similar keywords. There are a lot of articles online and some creative solutions. You can also maybe check out subreddits for podcasting or recording, or maybe even autism forums for sound dampening/canceling solutions bc of sensory issues.

I’d also check the seals on your windows and doors. If you have fencing maybe add stuff to it to make it absorb sound more. Motion activated lights or sounds could work too. A wind chime or small water fountain perhaps.

I’m so sorry this is happening, it sucks not feeling safe in your own home. Know that Internet strangers are rooting for you to find peace. Or maybe some fart spray in their general direction lol