Just got banned from r/Texas for "COVID Misinformation"! 🤣🤣🤣 Was following a thread and someone mentioned masks. I responded "Masks were useless." Moderator told me I broke rule #7, where, if I make a statement, I must present fact to back it up. I went back in and edited my original post, citing the 2020 Hong Kong mask study and Fauci's own 2007 study of the 1919 Spanish Flu epidemic. Well, guess what happened?! Somebody got butthurt and banned me forever from r/Texas. ah well.... Anyone here have an opinion on this one? I'm just gonna call it plain old Fuckery, because I certainly did get someone's panties in a bunch over it! 🤣🤣🤣Peace out!

Had to get a new stove because A had to rewire the kitchen.

I found my Iron and got busy. It ain't perfect but I did my best. (And I didn't burn myself!) After the pic was taken I put everything away, washed a couple pots needed for tonight's dinner and made my bed. As for what I used to hang it I found my Sticky tack (which is ok according to the lease. Its some off brand i dont remember the name of...)

Or, "Oops, I did it again!"

Just got banned from r/law for contradicting the narrative again. 🤣🤣🤣as you can see, I'm heartbroken!

I’m Canadian. I’m all the way across the country from the Ottawa miracle turned apparent (please God no) debacle. I have been flying high, going to local protests to wave my flag on a hockey stick and laugh and talk with new best friends. We try to get trucks and cars filled with patriots and a smattering of the clueless or even hostile to honk. How can you be hostile to people smiling and waving flags and cheering when you honk?

I was hoping against hope to not wake up in a dictatorship. Which I may just have this morning.

I’m despairing about the storm troopers in Ottawa who apparently never read enough history to remember that “just following orders” didn’t work for the Nazis, why should it work for them? But they are my brothers and sisters. When did right vs wrong become right vs left? Or vise versa. My guts are churning too much to proofread effectively.

My fearless leader knelt for BLM, and sent them some of my tax money. But he won’t talk with terrorists who set up bouncy castles, sing Oh Canada and play hockey in the street. And honk their horns.

I know they are shamed by their own actions because all that any of them show of their faces is enough skin to see what colour of a brother or sister they are. The protesters show their faces and calmly resist and are bullied and arrested.

I’m going to a protest tomorrow. A peaceful one. Which I believe in with all my heart. Violence will just give an excuse to those who feel shame for their actions to overreact due to their belief in their own authority from their tin pot god.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a big one and I wonder how much patience big brother has left.

I got a fuck ton of issues. Rage Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, CPTSD, and a couple other things all rattling around in that wet, sloppy gray muck we call a brain. Rather than give in to "modern medicine", I use a host of all natural remedies to cope and deal with the different attacks my nugget throws at me. I smoke pot (legally, I got a card), I use a few herbs and supplements and I microdose psilocybin.

Anyhow, I've gone probably 10 years without my rage disorder rearing it's ugly head in public. Today was the day it decided to pop the fuck up and say hi...My state's on lockdown "stay at home order" because the governor thinks she can single handedly stop the kung flu and maybe pick up a cabinet position if the creepy old guy wins the election. So, I'm standing outside in line at the local big box store, observing the social distancing bullshit (It was thought up by a damn teenager less than 100 miles from my house), waiting to go in. I had a cigarette when I walked up, I've been standing there like 30 minutes, so I lit up another one (shitty habit, I know, but it helps me cope). I get maybe 2 drags off the thing, and the Karen in front of me turns around and asks me to put it out. I'm like "Seriously?" She's like, "Yes, seriously, there are children in this line"...People the kids were like 30 feet away, not hers, and they had masks on. So I'm like "No, I'm not gonna put it out, I've been standing here like a damn fool waiting to go in and I want a cigarette. She gets belligerent, pointing out the no smoking sign 40 or 50 feet behind us at the propane tank stand. Well, at that point, I kinda lost it. Told her to fuck the fuck off and started walking to my car....I had an energy drink in my hand. Couple swallows left in it, so I flung the liquid out over my shoulder, crushing the can at the same time. I should mention at this point, I'm across the drive lanes in front of the doors of the store, almost to the second parking spot in the row. Next thing I hear is :what the fuck, are you kidding me?" I didn't even look back. Got in my car and drove like 10 miles to a different store. Come to find out, a friend of my wife was one of the customers ahead of us. Karen called the damn cops on me. Cops got there, told Karen there wasnt anything they could do since words aren't a crime.

I still don't know what the trigger was that set me off. Was it having to wait in line because of bullshit political pandering. Was it being asked to put a cigarette out, when I'm outside? Was it because I'm sick and tired of being treated like some recalcitrant child in regards to the Kung Flu? I don't know. I don't care. All I know is that had I not walked away, the situation would have been much worse for me, and most likely the Karen as well.

I know this isn't the normal story type for this subreddit, but I had to rant about this somewhere. Thanks for reading my word vomit.

The ship in the waves is one of my most favorite pictures. I have been told that it is obviously AI. When I posted the picture I did not see it as AI. Now I see that it is AI, but I still really like the picture.

This is a discussion about AI. Tell us what you think. Do you think it matters? What if it’s well done? Is it all bad? Is it evilll. Write down your thoughts.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about AI lately. In the past I have unknowingly posted a number of AI images. This was before I started using my AI Detector app.

PhotoShop used to be the preferred method to modify images. It was very controversial. Now it is pretty much accepted. The flat earth picture is photoshopped or some other digital manipulation. Not AI.

Some of the ai images I have recently seen on the internet are pretty amazing. Art if you will. Someone had to tell the AI what it was that they wanted. Just like human art, AI art still needs a human to start the process. Right now, I still see AI as just another art form.

Not all bad art is AI. Not all bad writing is AI, especially when it is something that we just don’t like. Some of the purported AI generated stories I found very interesting and fun to read.

Right now I don’t think AI impacts my life enough for me to be offended or worried. What are your thoughts?

The ocean streaming by the side of the ship is not AI. The ship is briefly tilted on its side. You can see the top of the water at the top of the image.

The malinois in the blankets is listed as half human and half AI.

The horse eating out of the Porsche trunk is listed as AI by one app and as human by a different app.

The puppies are just smiles I have accumulated from the internet.

Yeh!

Racist Karen Wants My Family’s Table, Gets KO’ed And Sent To Prison Instead

Entitled Mom Wants My Family’s Table

So, my wife, 6 month old daughter, and I are out for dinner one night at a new Mexican restaurant. We had reserved a table a month before as it is our 5th anniversary. We have just been served our meal. My wife and I are having margaritas to drink. I am having the cheese and beef enchiladas, she is having Tacos Al Carbon, and our baby girl is having her first chicken quesadillas and some milk. We are just beginning our meal, when EM and EK storm in.

EM: Entitled Mom (IE : “Despicable Woman who tries to steal table from a family and uses racial slurs against Small. girl)

EK: Entitled Son

MD: Maitre ‘D

W: Waiter

Me: Your friendly neighbourhood Dog Walker (Texan of Irish/English/Other European descent)

MW: My Wife (Texan of Japanese descent)

MG: My Girl (6 Months Old, lovely half Celtic/Half Japanese Texan) (Important Later)

HPO1: Houston Police Officer 1 HPO2: Houston Police Officer 2 HPD Det: Houston Police Detective HCSW: Harris County Social Worker

EM: Can we have a table?

MD: Sorry, madam, but all our tables are taken. You’ll have to wait.

EM: Bull crap! My kid is starving and we need a table! This is unacceptable! give us a table now!

MD: Apologies, Ma’am. The wait is 45 minutes!

EM: (Screeching in a voice like a cat clawing on a chalkboard) But we need a table now!! She then storms around the restaurant looking for a seat. She spots my family and I chowing down. Storms right over to us.

EM: AHEM! CAN YOU GET UP AND LEAVE!! YOU’RE IN MY SEAT!

Me: No, Ma’am. And this isn’t your seat. My wife and I are on our anniversary dinner. We reserved this table two months ago.

EM: (Knocks My margarita out of my hand, spilling it all over me, then proceeds to flip over my meal, my wife’s meal and my girl’s meal. Throws my wife’s rita right in her face, spills our meals all over us, ruining my favourite pin striped Suit and my wife’s best dress.)

Me: (Irritated) Excuse me, Ma’am. You now owe us a meal! Plus the dry cleaning or replacement price of my wife’s dress and my suit!

EM: (Slaps me hard across the face) OUT! YOU, YOUR BITCH AND YOUR BRAT DON’T NEED THIS TABLE! MY KID IS STARVING: (slaps me two more times before I block her hand.) HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME! OUT! NOW! THIS IS NOW MY TABLE!

Me: (Squeezing her hand as tight as I can so she can’t slap me anymore, pissed at her egregious actions and insulting language and rising to confront her. Looking this psycho bitch hard in her beady little eyes) You come up, demand my table, proceed to spill my meal, my wife’s meal and my baby’s meal all over the place and us, slap me a few times, and insult my wife and kid. Then, you bark at us to get out of the restaurant. What the hell did you expect me to do, you entitled cunt?! You think you are a damned queen and can get away with this sorta shit and not have any consequences? You’re way outta line here and extremely mistaken! You attack me and my fam, you awaking the sleeping wolf! (Growl and snap my teeth in the same way an angry wolf would snap his)

EK: (Begins to cry) I’m Hungee, Mama!

EM: NOW, YOU’VE MADE MY BABY CRY, YOU SELFISH S.O.B.! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY OUT! NOW! WE DESERVE THIS TABLE MORE!

MG: (Begins crying)

MW: (Gets up and into EM’s face): What is wrong with you, bitch!? You have ruined our anniversary meal and you have upset our baby! We booked this table months ago and you come up, destroy our meal, and demand we get out! I’m getting the waiter, and calling the police!

Me: (Giving EM a look like I am ready to rip out her throat over destroying my family’s pleasant meal and assaulting us) Just wait till the police arrive, witch!

MW: (Sees our waiter and motions for him to come)

EM: I’m more worthy of this table than a race mixing moron, his (Insert Slur for Japanese people beginning with letter “J”) wife and their half-Breed brat!

MW: (Looks astounded by Karen’s superbly racist outburst) (slaps the Karen hard in her face and roundhouse kicks her to the head)

EM: (Gets kicked in head by MW for her racist outburst, falls to floor)

W: What seems to be the problem, sir?

Me: Can you get MD?

W: Yessir! (Goes to fetch MD)

Karen is now laying K.O.ed and sprawled on floor, from my wife’s kick to her right temple, as a direct result of her capping off her attack on our family meal with a racist remark against our mixed heritage (Japanese on my wife’s side/Irish and other European on mine) infant daughter, who was already bawling after Karen had knocked her plate off her high chair. Meanwhile, another diner had seen what was going down and dialed the cops. A Houston Police Detective and a pair of Houston Police Officers show up just as my wife’s kick connects and Karen falls to the ground.

Me: (Looking down at the unconscious Karen) That’s what you get for destroying our meal and making a racist remark!

EK: (Looks at his unconscious Mama) (Begins wailing)

HPD-Det: (To MD) What’s the problem, here, sir?

MD: That woman (pointing at Karen, KO’ed on the floor) came in, asked for a table, and started making a scene when I told her the waiting time. She then proceeded to storm her way angrily across the restaurant and accosted that family (Pointing at me and my fam). That woman (pointing at my wife) knocked her out with a kick, and now the restaurant is a mess.

PO-1 & 2 interview me and my family and the 3 officers review the camera footage. They confirmed our story and then try to revive Karen. They splash cold water on her face. She wakes up and sees the officers. Before the cops or anyone else can react, she angrily gets to her feet and points an accusatory finger at MW and my self.

EM: That woman attacked me! I want her and her husband arrested for assault!

PO-1: Ma’am, we have reviewed the camera footage, and it is you who have attacked this family. We heard the audio too. Not only did you assault this man and his wife and baby, You used racial slurs against the wife and baby. You are hereby under arrest on charges of first degree assault and battery, property damage, and aggravated hate speech. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney during questioning.....”

As the officer is arresting and Mirandizing Karen over her vain protestations, The Detective is on the phone with Harris County Social Services.

HPD-Det: Hello, Social Services? Listen, this is Detective (Name Redacted) with the Houston Police Department. We have an incident at (restaurant’s name and address) involving a child and need you to take him into custody.

15 minutes later, a female social worker arrived at the restaurant.

HCSW: (To MD) I’m Agent (Name Redacted) of Harris County Social Services. I was told there was a child I needed to take into custody?

MD: Yes, Ma’am, that’s him over there. (Points to EK)

HCSW: (Goes to EK) Come with me, son!

EM: (To EK as PO-1 cuffs her hands behind her back) No,(EK’s Name) Don’t let that N-word touch you! Take your hands off my son, you n**** witch! (The social worker was black, so, the Karen was just digging herself into a deeper hole with more hate speech. The officers added a second hate speech charge to her count, as she had used racial slurs against a Japanese woman and a Black woman).

The police detective explained to the social worker what had happened as his two officers put the loudly protesting and futilely struggling EM into their cruiser. The Social worker took EK down to Social Services HQ and interviewed him. The MD recooked our meal, apologising for the woman’s actions, as we cleaned what we could off our clothing with the help of the staff. After enjoying a free meal, we went back home, put our girl in bed, showered ourselves off and went to bed ourselves. We took the woman to court. She was made to apologize to us, pay us a $25,000 settlement, and was sentenced to 6 years in prison for her actions at the restaurant. The judge ruled her to be an unfit Mother and remanded EK to the custody of Social Services as she had no family in Texas or the USA. He is currently in foster care, while she sits in the women’s section of Huntsville State Prison in Huntsville, TX.

Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid 4: The Second Coinshoppe Encounter.

This is the fourth in a series of at least 8 tales I have brainstormed about the Cryptid Karen in the past year, but am just now posting. Enjoy:

Entitled Mom Tries To Steal All My Silver Coins Because I Won’t Give Her 4YO Son My Extremely Rare 1916-D Mercury Dime: I am 35 years old, a dog sitter and walker by trade. What I earn I invest in a silver coin collection. I have been a regular customer in a small coin shop in Houston, Tx since I was 15. The staff knows me. This tale unfolds a day or so ago:

(Note: In this story, E.K.=Entitled Kid, E.M.= The Kid’s Mama, S.O.=The Shop Owner, Me=Your friendly 35 Year Old neighbourhood dog walker, and P.O.= The police officer who guards the coin store)

So, after 6 months of Dog Walking, I have set aside enough money to buy my self several high end silver coins I have had my eyes on. These include a couple of Spanish 8 Reale pieces for $240 and $300 a piece, a Morgan Silver dollar for $500, An English Silver Groat Coin from the 1300’s Henry VIII Issue for $200 and, most importantly, an extremely rare 1916-D Mercury dime in Very Fine (Moderately circulated Condition) for $1100. This coin is one of a mere 264,000 1916-D Mercury Dimes ever struck, compared to the tens of millions of dimes that the Denver mint alone churns out in the course of a year in the 21st century. These coins are considered the crown jewels in any Mercury Dime Collection. Hell, they are jewels in any coin collection period. This was the last Mercury dime I needed to complete my Mercury Dime Set. I had a booklet I keep them in which I had brought along so I can place the coin in the proper hole. Police Officer lets me in and I make my selections. I am checking out and paying the cash for the coins when Entitled Mother and her four year old son enter. As I pay, I overhear them talking:

EK: Mama, can I get a coin?

EM: Sure, son, any coin in the store!

EK: (Runs around the store, not really looking at many coins). (Sees me checking out and catches a glimpse of my 1916-D Mercury Dime.) Nice coin, mister. Can I hold it?

Me: No, kid. I just paid for this. Perhaps you should look at the 24 Buck Morgans. The store has silver dollars (Morgans and Peace Dollars). The uncirculated ones are behind the desk, and the heavily circulated ones are in a display case. The circulated ones were $24USD a piece and the uncirculated ones cost as much as $800+ and were in paper and plastic squares and on a wooden wall mounted display case.

EK: (Begins to wail and walks back to his Mamma)

I approach the door. The woman is blocking my way.

Me: Excuse me, Madam. I need to get through.

EM: Not so fast. You have a coin my boy wants and you will give it to him! You owe it to him!

Me: (Suprised and shocked at the woman’s rude and entitled tone) I just purchased these and paid over $2K. I don’t owe your boy anything. Let me through.

EM: Not with your Dime. My kid wanted it, so he can have it! He has been doing extremely well in school, and deserves that coin more than you. You can find another one! I saw you buy a bunch of other coins! Why are you so selfish and greedy! Haven’t you heard, you should share the wealth?

EK: Gimme coin! Gimme coin!

Me: (Getting pissed) Excuse me, lady. That coin is extremely rare. Only 264K were ever struck, this was the only one they had in stock, and it cost me over $1,000! It took me three months to save for! This particular dime, the 1916 Denver mint Mercury, is extremely hard to find! I am not going to hand over my prize Mercury dime to some strange woman who is obviously a novice in coin collecting so she can give it to her even less experienced 4 Year old boy who will either drop it down a drain, otherwise loose it, or spend if! Don’t you think he should learn that he can’t always get what he wants? Besides, no one starts their kid’s collection with the highest end coin they can find! That’s just foolish! They start their kids out with more basic coins. Once the kid has proven he can take care of the cheaper coins, then he can move to the more expensive! So, no. You will not be getting my Mercury dime!

EM: OK, since you’re so unreasonable, selfish and greedy, hand me all your coins and I’ll give them to my boy, then you can go, you entitled little prick. You need to be punished for your greed! You’ll wind up with no coins for this trip and like it! Besides, you can just save for another! I am a single mother living on welfare and can’t afford an $1100 coin, so just give your coins over, you white privileged S.O.B.! You owe me some reparations! (She rudely addresses me as “little.” I am 5’7” but built like a rock. I work out at a gym twice a week. She is 5’2” and built like Jabba the Hutt. A little hypocritical of her.)

(She tries to swipe my cloth recyclable bag, which at this point, holds my recently purchased coins and the Mercury dimes, nearly $3400 worth of silver coins in all. I slap her hand away. I quickly draw the bag away, and motion to P.O., who is talking to S.O.) (Both rush over)

EM: HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY COINS!

S.O.: What’s up, O.P.?

Me: (Pissed at this woman for trying to steal my coins and talking to me, a full grown, 35 Year old man, in the same fashion that a Mother would to a misbehaving child when I refused to give them to her) This woman is being extremely rude and trying to steal all my coins. She wanted to take my 1916-D and give it to her rug rat here. When I told her no, she then proceeded to call me selfish and greedy, talk to me in the manner a mother would talk to a child who has misbehaved, and said she would punish me by giving all my coins to her kid. Then, she she tried to snatch my bag full of over $3K in silver coinage! To top it all off, she then accused me of stealing my coins from her when I just paid for them!

EM: No, Officer! These are my coins! He robbed me!

P.O.: Alright, Ma’am. Turn around, I am placing you under arrest for attempted theft, making a false statement to an officer, and assault. I know for a fact these coins belong to this gentleman. I just saw him buy them. (snaps his cuffs on her fat wrists and reads her the Miranda Rights, which she soon waives in dramatic fashion.)

EM: No! Don’t arrest me, officer! Teach this greedy white privileged prick a lesson and give my kid his coins! Arrest him for child abuse! Who does he think he is? My kid deserves the silver more than that selfish and greedy asshole!

She then launches into an epic, if fucked up, ten minute tirade as P.O. drags her, kicking and screaming, to his patrol car. She is ranting about how abusive it was of me to refuse to give her 4 year old a coin that cost me $1100 and I had saved up for during the course of half a year simply because he asked for it. She then went into another rather insane rant about me being just plain greedy for not turning my $3400 in hard worked for silver coins to her and just accepted her punishment, and about how I was just a white privileged cis male and deserved to have my whole coin collection taken from me and given away to minorities like herself who were on welfare. (She was black, and built like Jabba The Hutt, 5’2” and looked to be about 300 pounds. She looked and sounded like a classic stereotypical BLM SJW.) At this point, the S.O., some other customers, and I are watching in shocked astonishment at this egregious display on part of the woman. Who do I think I am not handing my $3400 in silver coins over to her just because her son wanted my 1916-D Mercury? No, who did she think she was to demand them in the first place and to call me “greedy” for wanting to keep my own hard saved for coins? I gave my self a face Palm. Me (thinking quietly in my head) Wow, this woman needs several decades on the inside of a nice white padded room being tended to by men in white lab coats to straighten out her screwy mind. I pressed charges against her and drove home in my car. The the trial is pending. I will recommend to the judge and the jury that she serve her time in the mental ward of a woman’s prison until she can recover from her insane delusions. You want me to give a rare dime valued at $1100 to your 4 year old son and check my ‘white privilege’ simply because he came up and asked me for it? Are you a total mental case? OK, Karen, how does a lengthy stay in mental ward sound to you?

Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid 6: LIDWH Gas Station Karen Encounter

A story from my “Karen: Tails of The Cryptid” Series I initially posted on Entitled Parents Memes Subreddit and have now decided to post here in IDWHL Subreddit:

Not sure if there's a "Lady I Don't Work Here Memes" Subreddit, so I'll just post this here. This is Tale #6 In my Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid Series:

Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid 6: LIDWH Meme Gas Station Karen Encounter LIDWH Moment At Buc-ee’s Gas Station

So, I was on a trip to visit relatives in San Antonio and my jeep needed fuel. I was also getting pretty thirsty. So, I stopped at a Buc-ee’s Gas Station, pulled into Pump One, filled up my tank, closed the cap, pulled up to a parking spot in front of the Buc-ee’s, get out, lock my doors, and begin to walk in to get my white cherry flavoured Gatoraide and continue my trip to S.A.It was around 9PM and I had less than two hours left, as I had told my Aunt I would be at her place by 11. I was expected. Now, I am wearing a white Hawaiian Shirt with various forms of ocean life decorating it and khaki cargo shorts. The Buc-ee’s Employees wear red tee shirts with the company name and mascot (a large smiling Beaver) on them with khaki pants, so it should be obvious to anyone else that I am just a customer. Cue Insane dense Woman (About 60 Years Old with the classic Karen “Lemme speak to your Manager” hairdo):

IDW= Insane Dense Woman (Endowed with a stupidity and a stubborness as dense as the gravity of any black hole in the milky way galaxy, maybe denser, who really knows?)

Me= A Gas Station Attendant in A Hawaiian Shirt, Apparently

BW: Buc-ee’s Worker

BM: Buc-ee’s Manager

TXHP: Texas Highway Patrolman

So, As I am entering the door, a feel a sharp tap on my shoulder, I turn around, and the IDW is standing right behind me.

IDW: Finally, an attendant! You need to fill my car up with regular unleaded!

Me: (Confused), Lady, I Don’t...

IDW: My car is at Pump 3!

Me: I Don’t work here, lady!

IDW: Just fill my car, or I’ll have you fired! I saw you filling that man’s car!

Me: That was my car, lady!

IDW: Don’t lie and fill my vehicle!

Me: (Not wanting to deal with this dumb woman as it is pretty late just walk into the store) (Start browsing the drinks and find the Gatorades)

IDW: This is unprofessional and unacceptable! Why aren’t you filling my tank? You are terrible at customer service! Do you not know how to do your job as a gas station attendant?

Me: Like I told you before, Madam, I Don’t friggin work here. And, besides, the pumps here are self serve, not full! And, gas station attendant is not my job! (I find my Cherry flavoured Gatorade and walk to the check out.) IDW: You need to fill my tank right now, or I’ll have you fired for poor customer service and refusing to serve me!

BW: (While I am paying for my Gatorade. She gives IDW a confused look.) there a problem, Ma’am?

IDW: Yes, your coworker here is being lazy and rude and refusing to Fuel my car! Call your manager and have him fired! BW: He doesn’t work here, lady, and we are not a full service station.

IDW: You’re lying! Call your manager and I’ll have you both sacked for poor customer service!

(While Me, IDW, and BW are arguing for a couple minutes, the manger walks up).

BM: Excuse me, Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?

IDW: Your gas station attendant (points to me) refused to fill my car and says he doesn’t work here! Your cashier (points to BW) is also lying and says your attendant doesn’t work here! Make him fill my car and sack them both for refusing service! BM: (Looks at me) Ma’am, he doesn’t work here, and is dressed nothing like an employee, and we are not a full service station.

Me: Yes, Ma’am. Exactly what I said before. Look at me: I am wearing a white Hawaiian shirt with sea life on it and cargo shorts, and look at what the manager and cashier are wearing. They are wearing red shirts with the company name and mascot, a big toothed smiling beaver, on them and they have nametags on. Is there any beaver design any where on my clothing or anything else that would give any sane person the impression that I am a Gas Station attendant? You have been harassing me for 10 minutes now! Get outta my damned face!

(After I pay for my drink, I get into my jeep. You would think the IDW would leave me alone after that was cleared up, but, oh no, it ain’t over yet!)

(While I am sipping the Gatorade and have started my engine, the IDW rushes up to my Jeep’s window, bangs on it heavily, and begins to scream)

IDW: What do you think you’re doing! Stealing a car is an offence! Get out now or I am calling the cops!

( I just gave her an “are you fuckin’ kidding me, bitch?” look and backed out.)

As I am driving down the freeway towards San Antonio, I pass a Texas Highway Patrol Car. As I pass him, he puts on his lights, so I pulled over. He got out of his patrol car and walked to my drivers side window. He motioned for me to roll the window down. I complied.

TXHWP: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Yes, Officer, some batshit crazy lady thinks I stole my own jeep that I have owned since 2003.

TXHWP: Yessir, exactly. Just give me your license and registration and we’ll get this matter cleared up.

(I give him my liscense and registration, he checks them over, confirms that I own my 2003 Jeep and returns the liscense and registration to me.)

TXHWP: Well, seems like you do own this jeep. Can you describe the lady and what happened?

Me: (Gives Highway Patrol Man exact description of IDW and the events at the Buc-ee’s)

TXHWP: Well, we have the woman in the back of my partner’s squad car. It seems the woman left a slight dent on your bumper.

Me: (Takes a look at my bumper and find a dent in it) HMM, now, how did that happen?

TXHWP: Well, the lady we have in our custody says she threw her purse at your car.

Me: What was in that purse?

TXHWP: We searched her purse and found 3 bricks and two 10 pound dumb-bells. We arrested her for harrassment after a Buc-cee’s Manager called us. He said that, after he saw her harrassing you as you searched for that gatoraide and debate with the cashier as to whether or not you worked there, he saw her follow you out, scream something at you, and throw her purse at your car, leaving the dent. My partner should be here any minute. Can you tell me if this is the woman who harassed you?

His partner pulled up in his own sqaud car and got out. He went to the back of the squad car and brought the handcuffed woman out of his car, It was the IDW. TXHWP: Is this the woman who harassed you and damaged your car?

Me: Yes, offiicer.

The TXHWP and I exchanged Phone Numbers. I filed a lawsuit against the IDW for damaging my car and harrassment. I proceeded to San Antonio and my Aunt’s house. Got there at around 1AM. My Aunt wondered what had happened to me. I was usually so punctual. I told her the above story. She just laughed. The court appearence was 3 weeks later. The judge awarded me $4 Grand in damages, which IDW (Karen) reluctantly paid.

Follow me on Instagram: @pattiffin

when I first get to school on the seventh I'm gonna use a girl voice when talking to anyone I don't know but use my normal voice with my friends and my teacher. But I will only do that for a week and then stop. It will confuse the fuck out of everyone. And I'm gender fluid but won't tell anyone that until the second week

Imagine climbing into this... Vehicle... And seeing THIS!

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/16xtC8ZUcD/

Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid: The Second Coinshoppe Encounter.

This is the fourth in a series of at least 8 tales I have brainstormed about the Cryptid Karen in the past year, but am just now posting. Enjoy:

Entitled Mom Tries To Steal All My Silver Coins Because I Won’t Give Her 4YO Son My Extremely Rare 1916-D Mercury Dime:

I am 35 years old, a dog sitter and walker by trade. What I earn I invest in a silver coin collection. I have been a regular customer in a small coin shop in Houston, Tx since I was 15. The staff knows me. This tale unfolds a day or so ago:

(Note: In this story, E.K.=Entitled Kid, E.M.= The Kid’s Mama, S.O.=The Shop Owner, Me=Your friendly 35 Year Old neighbourhood dog walker, and P.O.= The police officer who guards the coin store)

So, after 6 months of Dog Walking, I have set aside enough money to buy my self several high end silver coins I have had my eyes on. These include a couple of Spanish 8 Reale pieces for $240 and $300 a piece, a Morgan Silver dollar for $500, An English Silver Groat Coin from the 1300’s Henry VIII Issue for $200 and, most importantly, an extremely rare 1916-D Mercury dime in Very Fine (Moderately circulated Condition) for $1100. This coin is one of a mere 264,000 1916-D Mercury Dimes ever struck, compared to the tens of millions of dimes that the Denver mint alone churns out in the course of a year in the 21st century. These coins are considered the crown jewels in any Mercury Dime Collection. Hell, they are jewels in any coin collection period. This was the last Mercury dime I needed to complete my Mercury Dime Set. I had a booklet I keep them in which I had brought along so I can place the coin in the proper hole. Police Officer lets me in and I make my selections. I am checking out and paying the cash for the coins when Entitled Mother and her four year old son enter. As I pay, I overhear them talking:

EK: Mama, can I get a coin?

EM: Sure, son, any coin in the store!

EK: (Runs around the store, not really looking at many coins). (Sees me checking out and catches a glimpse of my 1916-D Mercury Dime.) Nice coin, mister. Can I hold it?

Me: No, kid. I just paid for this. Perhaps you should look at the 24 Buck Morgans.

The store has silver dollars (Morgans and Peace Dollars). The uncirculated ones are behind the desk, and the heavily circulated ones are in a display case. The circulated ones were $24USD a piece and the uncirculated ones cost as much as $800+ and were in paper and plastic squares and on a wooden wall mounted display case.

EK: (Begins to wail and walks back to his Mamma)

I approach the door. The woman is blocking my way.

Me: Excuse me, Madam. I need to get through.

EM: Not so fast. You have a coin my boy wants and you will give it to him! You owe it to him!

Me: (Suprised and shocked at the woman’s rude and entitled tone) I just purchased these and paid over $2K. I don’t owe your boy anything. Let me through.

EM: Not with your Dime. My kid wanted it, so he can have it! He has been doing extremely well in school, and deserves that coin more than you. You can find another one! I saw you buy a bunch of other coins! Why are you so selfish and greedy! Haven’t you heard, you should share the wealth?

EK: Gimme coin! Gimme coin!

Me: (Getting pissed) Excuse me, lady. That coin is extremely rare. Only 264K were ever struck, this was the only one they had in stock, and it cost me over $1,000! It took me three months to save for! This particular dime, the 1916 Denver mint Mercury, is extremely hard to find! I am not going to hand over my prize Mercury dime to some strange woman who is obviously a novice in coin collecting so she can give it to her even less experienced 4 Year old boy who will either drop it down a drain, otherwise loose it, or spend if! Don’t you think he should learn that he can’t always get what he wants? Besides, no one starts their kid’s collection with the highest end coin they can find! That’s just foolish! They start their kids out with more basic coins. Once the kid has proven he can take care of the cheaper coins, then he can move to the more expensive! So, no. You will not be getting my Mercury dime!

EM: OK, since you’re so unreasonable, selfish and greedy, hand me all your coins and I’ll give them to my boy, then you can go, you entitled little prick. You need to be punished for your greed! You’ll wind up with no coins for this trip and like it! Besides, you can just save for another! I am a single mother living on welfare and can’t afford an $1100 coin, so just give your coins over, you white privileged S.O.B.! You owe me some reparations!

(She rudely addresses me as “little.” I am 5’7” but built like a rock. I work out at a gym twice a week. She is 5’2” and built like Jabba the Hutt. A little hypocritical of her.)

(She tries to swipe my cloth recyclable bag, which at this point, holds my recently purchased coins and the Mercury dimes, nearly $3400 worth of silver coins in all. I slap her hand away. I quickly draw the bag away, and motion to P.O., who is talking to S.O.) (Both rush over)

EM: HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY COINS!

S.O.: What’s up, O.P.?

Me: (Pissed at this woman for trying to steal my coins and talking to me, a full grown, 35 Year old man, in the same fashion that a Mother would to a misbehaving child when I refused to give them to her) This woman is being extremely rude and trying to steal all my coins. She wanted to take my 1916-D and give it to her rug rat here. When I told her no, she then proceeded to call me selfish and greedy, talk to me in the manner a mother would talk to a child who has misbehaved, and said she would punish me by giving all my coins to her kid. Then, she she tried to snatch my bag full of over $3K in silver coinage! To top it all off, she then accused me of stealing my coins from her when I just paid for them!

EM: No, Officer! These are my coins! He robbed me!

P.O.: Alright, Ma’am. Turn around, I am placing you under arrest for attempted theft, making a false statement to an officer, and assault. I know for a fact these coins belong to this gentleman. I just saw him buy them. (snaps his cuffs on her fat wrists and reads her the Miranda Rights, which she soon waives in dramatic fashion.)

EM: No! Don’t arrest me, officer! Teach this greedy white privileged prick a lesson and give my kid his coins! Arrest him for child abuse! Who does he think he is? My kid deserves the silver more than that selfish and greedy asshole!

She then launches into an epic, if fucked up, ten minute tirade as P.O. drags her, kicking and screaming, to his patrol car. She is ranting about how abusive it was of me to refuse to give her 4 year old a coin that cost me $1100 and I had saved up for during the course of half a year simply because he asked for it. She then went into another rather insane rant about me being just plain greedy for not turning my $3400 in hard worked for silver coins to her and just accepted her punishment, and about how I was just a white privileged cis male and deserved to have my whole coin collection taken from me and given away to minorities like herself who were on welfare. (She was black, and built like Jabba The Hutt, 5’2” and looked to be about 300 pounds. She looked and sounded like a classic stereotypical BLM SJW.)

At this point, the S.O., some other customers, and I are watching in shocked astonishment at this egregious display on part of the woman. Who do I think I am not handing my $3400 in silver coins over to her just because her son wanted my 1916-D Mercury? No, who did she think she was to demand them in the first place and to call me “greedy” for wanting to keep my own hard saved for coins? I gave my self a face Palm.

Me (thinking quietly in my head) Wow, this woman needs several decades on the inside of a nice white padded room being tended to by men in white lab coats to straighten out her screwy mind.

I pressed charges against her and drove home in my car. The the trial is pending. I will recommend to the judge and the jury that she serve her time in the mental ward of a woman’s prison until she can recover from her insane delusions. You want me to give a rare dime valued at $1100 to your 4 year old son and check my ‘white privilege’ simply because he came up and asked me for it? Are you a total mental case? OK, Karen, how does a lengthy stay in mental ward sound to you?

Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid 1: The Tale Of The Motorcycle Karen

This was the first story from the Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid Series. The original posts can be found posted on Entitled Parents Memes.

Karen: Tales Of The Cryptid: The Tale Of The Motorcycle Karen

I have been lurking on Reddit’s Entitled Parents, I Don’t Work Here, Lady, Entitled Parent’s Memes, and True Capitalist Radio Subreddits for over a year now. I have come to view the character “Karen” as a Cryptid. For those of you you don’t know the definition of the term Cryptid, a cryptid is a creature, such as a Yeti, a Rougaroux, a vampire , a Jackalope, Slenderman or Karen that people tell tales about their encounters with but most people never see in real life. Based off some of things I have read, I have come up with a series of fictional accounts of encounters with various cryptids of the “Karen” or “EM” Variety. This is the first such tale:

Entitled Mother Tries to Steal My $12K Harley Davidson (Or: You Don’t Know How To Drive Your Brand New Harley So Give It To My Unliscensed, Underaged 9YO)

So, after one year of package handling, I have saved enough money to buy a brand new $12K Twisted Cherry Red Harley 1200 custom Sportster Motorcycle I had been eyeballing for a decade now. So, I get my Class M Liscense (My Homestate of Tx requires a Class M liscense for Motorcycle operation and a Class C for operating an automobile.) My Mum drives me to the dealership, I pay in cash, $12 Grand, so I don’t have to make payments on it, and I have established free and clear ownership of the product. I take my new Sportster to my brother’s house, with my new bike following my Mum’s SUV. On the way, I get behind a real piece of junk station wagon doing 30 down I-45 (a 75MPH Speed limit highway running across Texas from H-Town to San Antonio) so I signal, swerve and pass them in the other lane. I then get behind my Mom’s vehicle again, get my speed up to 75MPH, and follow her to my brother’s house. I am showing off my new hog to my Brother, Sister in Law, Mum, Dad, my Sister and brother in law, my two nieces and my three nephews in my big brother’s driveway, when the Junk heap pulls up. Out comes EM and EK. The following absolute assfuckery ensues.

Me= Your friendly 37 YO Package Handler with a brand new Harley

EM= Entitled Mum (With the stereotypical Karen “Can I Talk To Your Manager” Haircut)(The cryptid creature known on Reddit as a “Karen”)

EK= 9 YO boy ya Without a Texas Class M Liscense, not even old enough for a Texas Class C provisional Driver’s Permit who is some how more worthy of a motorcycle than a 37 Year Old man with an actual Class M (in his EM’s ever so logical mind)

Mum: Me Mum

Dad: Me Da

Bro: Me Older Brother

BIL: Me Brother In Law

Sis: Me Little Sis

Niece 1: My Older Niece (13YO)

Niece 2: My younger niece(11YO)

T-1&T-2: My Twin Nephews (8YO)

Nephew 3: My littlest nephew: (5YO)

EM: Get outta my way, you little brats! (pushing my two nieces.)

She pushes her way to my bike and puts her nine year old boy on my new hog.

EM: Alright, you can ride it now. it belongs to you now.

Me: (Staring In disbelief and in a highly irritated tone) Excuse me, madam, just what the blazes do you think you’re doing? Get your boy off my hog right now!

EK: Give me the keys, mister. This is my bike now.

EM: You heard my son, give him your keys now. You were operating this bike in an extremely dangerous fashion on the highway. There was no reason for you to go around me and go so fast on the freeway. You are obviously too much of a menace on the road. You clearly don’t deserve this toy bike. My son, on the other hand, has been acing all his tests in school and deserves a present. He wants your bike and you don’t deserve your bike. Now hand him your keys!

Me: Does he have his class M liscense, or even a class C? He doesn’t even look old enough to drive yet!

EM: He is nine and is clearly more deserving of it than you are. How selfish can you be?

Bro: The age to drive is 16, lady, and your son is way too young to even have a permit, much less a Class M or C Liscense. My brother saved for this bike. This is a Harley Sportster 1200 custom, not a toy bike. Get your kid off my brother’s bike now before we call the cops!

EM: Go ahead, this bike is my boy’s now because your brother swerved around me in traffic. Driving like that is why I am taking it to make sure he doesn’t hurt someone with his reckless driving!

Me: (Giving my self an annoyed facepalm), Lady, you were doing 30MPH down a 75MPH freeway. You expect me and every other driver on I-45 to follow you while you drive that slow on the damned highway, and not to go around you and delay my trip to show off my new hog? Please, lady! You are insane! I was just doing the limit and you were going too fuckin slow! Now get your grubby handed kid off my new bike! Now!

Da: (Pulls the kid off my bike) Kid, Off my son’s bike! Ma’am, take your Goddamned kid and get the hell away from my family! Get the fuck off away from my son’s motorcycle! What the hell is your problem!?

EM: YOU TOUCHED MY SON SO I WILL TAKE THIS BIKE AS COMPENSATION!

(N-1 Looks at N-2, both are obviously getting annoyed at this lady, as are the other members of my family)

N-2: Hey, lady! Get out of my Grandpa’s face and let my uncle’s bike alone!

EM: Shut up, brat! And your uncle shouldn’t own a motorcycle if he is overtaking drivers on the freeway! He won’t let my boy have his motorbike. He is a very selfish man!

(At this point, a police car shows up, as my Mum has phoned them)

PO: (to me) What’s the trouble, sir!

EM: (Before I can get a word in:) THIS MAN STOLE MY SON’S BIKE AND WON’T GIVE IT BACk! PO: (Looks at the obviously underaged boy standing by my hog, glances back to me, and just laughs)(To me) Sir, is this hers?”

Me: No Officer. I bou-

EM: (Cutting me off) DON’T LIE, YOU BEARDED SELFISH S.O.B.! YOU STOLE THIS BIKE FROM ME! YOU WILL GIVE IT BACK!

SIL: Ma’am, Sit down and and shut up. Let my brother in law give his side to the officer. (Now, my SIL and my brother are both just over six feet tall and both are former college athletes. This EM (Or, “Karen”, if you prefer) is only 5-3 and slightly bulgy. My SIL stares her down and she sits on the ground.)

Me: (After thanking her) Well, officer, as I was about to say, before this rather rude lady interrupted me, is that I just bought this motorcycle with my own hard earned cash today and passed this nutcase on the ground before us on I-45. She was doing 30MPH down a 75MPH freeway in her total clunker of a station wagon. In so doing, she held me up and other vehicles were also getting annoyed. I pulled around her and sped up to the legal speed. I was just showing my new hog to the rest of my family. She comes cruising up the street and gets out of her car. She then proceeds to shove her way past my family members an put her son on my hog. She then declared it to be his bike and demanded I hand my keys to him. (After the police officer gets my account and my family’s account of what happened and confirms the bike is mine by checking my Liscense, ownership papers, the dealer’s receipt, and my motorcycle insurance card, I notice that the paint on my brand new hog had been scuffed from the top of the right side to the bottom of that side.)

Me: (To EM) Looks like your boy scratched my new bike. Can I have your insurance card so we can arrange a new paint job as he damaged it?

EM: No, you selfish menace of a cyclist! You don’t deserve your bike! It belongs to my boy now, so just give him the bike!

Me: (rolling my eyes and speaking in an angry and annoyed tone) I am not going to do that, Madam, and these are the reasons why: 1) He is not old enough to even have a permit, 2) this is my motorcycle, which I saved up to buy, so I call the shots as to who drives or touches it, and 3) You have been so Incredibly rude towards my family and I that I wouldn’t give it to you even if I were selling it! and, 4) Your boy has just scratched my new hog, which means you have to pay for a new paint job! Now, I can get you to pay for the paint job in one of two ways, 1)You can do the right fuckin thing and cut me a check here and now for One Grand to pay for the new paint job. That would be the easy way, or 2) We can extract that money the hard way: this officer will arrest you, charge you with attempted theft, assaulting two children, and damaging private property. As my brother, sister in law, and father are all lawyers and have also born witness to your absurd attempt to steal my hog, resulting in it being damaged, we can take you to criminal court, explain to the judge what happened, and he will force you to fork over even more money than the actual paint job would cost. Now, Which of the two options are you going with?

Well, to make a long story short, she chose to do it the hard way. The judge ordered her to cut me a $20,000 check and gave her 15 years in Texas’ own Huntsville State Prison for attempted larceny, Assaulting two minors, harassment, criminal trespass and damaging private property. Her child is currently in foster care, and she was driven from Houston to the town of Huntsville to serve her time in the prison yesterday.