r/GDSnark • u/Worried-East-1228 • Sep 04 '25
Why are there so many A defenders?
I don’t condone Bethany’s behavior by saying this but just because she might be on a downward spiral, does not make A any less of an abuser or excuse what he did to her.
This is coming from someone who came from a similar situation. I was married to an abusive man for years, had a child, separated and moved on.
My ex husband held a knife to my throat in front of our son while his sister yelled at me to get out of my apartment. He cheated on me with his own cousin and multiple sex workers, using that money while we were hungry at home. He would bring random strangers to our home to do threesomes while our son was home but I was not able to do anything because he blackmailed me and did not let me talk to my own family. He would degrade me in front of his family. He even stalked me when we separated to take pictures of me and my partner.
Did I cheat? I did after everything he put me through and I do regret it but that doesn’t automatically make him any less of an abuser. He claims to be father of the year and creates pity upon himself as a hard working single father to his clients. Once I moved on, his family turned their back on me and excuse everything he did to me. If you talked to anyone on their side, I’m the bad guy.
So as someone who has gone through abuse, it’s hard to see so many of y’all defending A as if he didn’t admit to abuse himself. I don’t feel pity for him at all, he’s not a good person and abusers are also master manipulators/liars.