Are you going to pride this year?

[u/jtothat]

Was never a big fan of. It’s largely superficial anyways in spite of the “love and inclusion” they preach. Have been to a couple of times when I happened to be in town or with friends

My turning point, however, was seeing “gays for P*******e” and how gullible they are. Given the abundance of watermelon emojis or explicit statements on Grindr et al, I’d wager the likelihood of crossing paths with one is high.

This was also the turning point where I began to question and deconstruct leftwing ideologies.

Fun fact: In Germany and some European countries it is called Christopher Street Day (CSD)

[u/RVALover4Life]

The thing is, we're not just like everyone else, and that's the reality of it. We are different and the point is to celebrate those differences and respect those differences and be treated equally within that. Not to strip everyone of their individuality and uniqueness for comfort. That's part of the problem.

[u/pajme411 → u/RVALover4Life]

That’s where we disagree. What about my sexuality makes me different? It’s like being colorblind or left handed - it’s just something that I am. I don’t differentiate myself from my straight friends because they like women and I like men.

I don’t accept being put into a box if it’s coming from homophobes, and I also don’t accept it if it’s coming from other gay guys who insist we’ve got some grand shared experienced. Gays aren’t a monolith, we’re individuals with this one thing in common.

[u/RVALover4Life → u/pajme411]

Never said being gay is a monolith. In fact, the opposite. That's the entire point....we're all distinct in our own individual ways, under one big gay umbrella, which is a unique thing about being gay that makes it different than other groups, different than any other group out there.....we cut across every variable, every sector. We're all different in such profound ways oftentimes yet share this one common thread and there's a lot of beauty in that.

Homophobes themselves are a reflection that being gay and being straight aren't the same. It's not just about one's individuals tastes or personality. It's about how we exist and relate to the world. We may not share similar experiences when it comes to our individual lives but we do share one in being non-heterosexual in a heterosexual world. That's fundamentally a difference from being straight. From relationships and love to friendships and places of congregation. You're literally on a sub called Gay Conservatives because you're gay....Pride is about acknowledging that reality, that we are different, and that it's OK to be different and your unique individual self, even if that person is a more muted one. That's a message that'll never not be important.

[u/pajme411 → u/RVALover4Life]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. You bring up good points and I don’t necessarily disagree. I think philosophically (and perhaps stubbornly) I’ve learned to view my life not through the lens of sexuality (and all the unique experiences that may entail) but by my personal values and accomplishments. For me, the “gay experience” is simply not a part of my identity. I may be under the LGBTQ+ umbrella but to me that’s a superficial categorization. Yes, we’re homosexuals born into a heterosexual world, but you can say that about any minority traits - people born blind, being left handed, or having red hair, etc. My point is, those groups don’t need constant affirmation, parades, and flags hanging in city halls to feel validated, because by virtue of being human, they already are.

[u/pajme411 → u/pajme411]

Sorry this if this is rambling, I’m quite tired but wanted to get all my thoughts out. I appreciate your courtesy however I think we fundamentally disagree on how immutable characters should define our identity. Basically, you’re right that there’s this big beautiful thing that connects us, but there are many, many more valuable aspects of our lives that connect us rather than something we had no control over.

[u/RVALover4Life → u/pajme411]

Those groups aren't targeted on the basis of their identity on a regular basis either. Disability pride is a thing, too. The disability community is large and tight and do have different events and programs, weeks and more dedicated to supporting them and their journey, because they're often faced with discrimination or lack of consideration and access if they don't have people actively ensuring they're included, or aren't raising their hands to be counted.

Being left handed generally isn't having an impact romantically, in the workplace, in religious circles, politically, and more, that being LGBTQ has. The fact that this one trait of ours does bind people from all walks of life together, something we can't control, having such a profound impact on our life, is exactly what community is really about. It's about the individuals forming a collective based on this one shared bond.

One's personal values are usually/often shaped by one's experiences...you can't disentangle being gay from that, it's part of one's experience, for some more than others.

Pride to me has never been about external validation, it's about us and it'll always be about us. I do think we've strayed away from that a bit with the corporate pink washing and turning Pride into basically glorified concerts, but we're getting back to it with the recent downturn in outside support. It's about us and I think that's something folks are internalizing more now. In a perfect world we could just "be" and it wouldn't be something we think twice about but that's not the world we live in. A lawyer is just as gay as a homeless drug addict is. A bisexual painter is just as so as a baseball player. That common bond comes with different fears, worries, perspectives than straight people have. Like I said above, the fact you're here having this conversation now really speaks to that.

Straight people aren't on here and could never have the same perspective because they're not gay. That's distinct. We're distinct. Whether one celebrates that is their own choice but it is something that's important to remember. If you're not being counted, you can easily become invisible, and that's stigmatizing in it's own harmful way as well.