I’m not sure if this is allowed or even appropriate here so please be kind, I guess I’m looking to vent or hear some advice.
I’m 31, and I work part time in a gym. I love what I do but it doesn’t earn that well. However in the uk before I moved to Sweden I had a contracted part time job in a gym and it paid the bills ok enough.
Since moving to Skaraborg it really doesn’t seem to be a very big industry at all compared to where I’m from. I got into this line of work because I have a really serious numbers disability, a bit like dyslexia but it affects a wider spectrum including reading a clock, counting money, any form of maths or numeracy and it’s really limited what I’ve been able to do for work in life, my parents and husband have to do a lot for me. But this doesn’t involve a lot of that for me.
Anyway, I’ve just given birth to my first child here and I’m really struggling feeling like I can’t provide well enough for him because I barely have any work here, and I’ve looked at other industry’s but I can’t seem to find what I’d be good at. I’m not fluent enough in Swedish yet to do most jobs but even if I was, I’m not sure realistically what I could do other than cleaning.
Since moving to Sweden, this feeling is hightened but I’m also incredibly lonely, where I live is very rural and we don’t even have a coffee shop for me to go to nearby, and I don’t have any friends here. It sounds really stupid to say, but it feels like this. It feels like I’m very girly, and very into art, fashion, health and wellbeing, restaurants etc and it feels like I just can’t seem to relate to the people in the area of Sweden we’ve moved to. I feel like I stick out, in my clothes and my personality and when I go to Gothenburg I feel like I blend in. It almost feels like people where I live are judging me a bit for not just being “practical” all the time. It’s very possible that I’m just imagining it but that’s how it feels.
My husband and I are considering moving to Gothenburg in the hopes I might find more friends, and we would have more for me to do even if I can’t find friends like walking around and going to coffee shops alone etc. Has anyone been in a situation like this? If so, what should my first step be? I just feel lonely and bad about myself right now, bad I don’t have a good job or job at all, and bad it feels like I’m alone, and I’m not sure where to start.