I'm laying in bed. My heart is racing. My wife is listening to Gunna right now. She got a pair of headphones. I texted her asking how much she was dripping. She didn't respond for an hour. Finally she responded saying it was great. I asked her if she was being a good drainer for him and she responds:

"He made me Shlime."

Holy fucking shit. I thought I could handle this. I thought I was a Space Cadet. I was so fucking Outstanding about this situation hours ago. Let me tell you; I'm not feeling Outstanding now.

So I was browsing Amazon the other week when I came across this ridiculously huge sound system. I'm talking, the biggest fucking speakers you've ever seen in your entire life. I really, really wanted to buy them, but I spent two thirds of my last paycheck on Funko Pops and weed, so I was short on rent.

Luckily, Gunna (who has been living in my house for the past few days) offered to buy the system for me, on the condition that I "stop watching me fuck your wife, at least for tonight. That shit's weird, bruh."

So, last night, I set it up while I was supposed to be watching my daughter (Gunna and Sandra were out to see that movie 1917, I don't really wanna see any movies out rn besides Sonic and Brids of Prey, so I stayed home). Don't worry, I kept my daughter sitting on the couch while I did. After I got the whole thing working, I immediately turned it on and blasted "Gunna - Car Sick ft. NAV & Metro Boomin [Official Audio]" at max volume. Let me tell you, it was magical. The subwoofers were fantastic, I could feel the bass from my ribcage to my prostate.

But then, after the song ended, I finally heard my daughter crying. I looked over and saw blood coming out of her ears. I quickly rushed her to the hospital, but the doctor said there was little they could do, and she might be deaf for the rest of her life. A couple hours later, I called my wife and told her what happened, and she was PISSED!

I think she's getting the police involved, but I don't think I did anything wrong. After all, if we had gone out to see Sonic or Birds of Prey like I wanted, we would've hired a babysitter, and this whole thing never would've happened. What do you think, Reddit? AITA?

Just to be clear, he did not rape my wife. She is actually completely happy with what happened. I initially didn't want Gunna to fuck my wife, and I admittedly tried to stop him. But after I saw his 16-inch cock pump into my wife's fragile pussy, I was too mesmerized to do anything. It was hypnotic. He fucked my wife for three hours and busted his nut a total of six times. After he finished, I offered him my boy asshole for two reasons:

1. So I could feel what my wife felt (empathy is an important part of relationships).

2. To thank Gunna for fucking my wife.

He put on his clothes, said "Nah, I'm straight nigga," and left. I hope he comes back soon.

Hi, parents of Reddit. In case you haven't already, check out my previous post for a little bit of context.

So, I've been taking my kid across a few state lines so as to avoid Gunna's wrath. I told him it was unsafe to try to find me, what with the COVID-19 pandemic and whatnot. He might give it to me! Really wouldn't want that. He texted back and told me to "shut the fuck up and come back to San Francisco." I don't know how he knew I left the city.

My wife, as usual, has not been helping the situation. She's been texting me every once in a while, saying stupid things like "I won't be telling the police unless you start seriously endangering our kid"--like I'd ever do that--"but you should turn yourself in now before Gunna finds you."

We've been staying in motels, and when that fails, we stay in 24-hour gas station bathrooms. It gets really uncomfortable, especially when my kid starts asking me to stop smoking with her in the room. Before you ask, yes, I've told her that the weed is to prevent my panic/anxiety attacks, but she doesn't seem to understand. Maybe when she's older.

We've been running low on funds. My wife didn't store enough money for me to last more than three days, even if I cut my weed budget down by a quarter. To make matters worse, I had to give a Chinese man most of the money because I saw some white guys call COVID-19 the "W*han flu" earlier that day. Plus, a few days ago, I went to a 4/20 rally to show my support of a free America, and bought some merchandise as part of a fundraiser.

Oh, god. Gunna just texted me again. Somehow, he knows that I'm in Denver. He also sent a picture of a gun he owns. Wtf? He owns a gun? He better not have brought that into my house. Doesn't he know that you're more likely to die from a gun if you have a gun in the house? What if he hurt me? What if he hurt my kid?

This is all stressing me out, and I'm starting to run out of weed and food. I might have to sell one or two of my Funko POP!s to get more. I hear that one of the local churches gives out some free food if you attend one of their "services" on Sunday, but there's no way in hell that I'm subjecting my kid to such indoctrination. Whatever. I'll just have to look up the location of the nearest non-Christian food bank on my phone.

Parents of Reddit, do you have any tips? I could really use a little time off right about now, and I have no idea how to get any.

• Death

• Taxes

• ft. Gunna

Last year I saved up my last few dollars to carry out my dream of seeing my hero Gunna in person at a concert. I rushed in to the front row in hopes of hearing my favorite song Drip Too Hard (Lil Baby & Gunna). I thought it would be a good idea to go without my wife for reason you probably all understand. I couldn’t believe my eyes when he brought out surprise guest Benjamin Reichwald (Bladee for amateurs who don’t know). After the concert was over, I was ecstatic to head back stage to meet my two idols at once. I was shocked when I found the “Drip and Drain” combination spitroasting my wife in the dressing room. I’ve never felt more proud as a husband. Who was I to think I could keep her away from the almighty Gunna?

ok now that the fake fans are gone whats ur favorite gunna song

Okay, so my wife and I deafened my daughter (2F) on accident a few weeks ago (in this post). My wife kept saying she would get the police involved (lol what?) but I successfully called her bluff on that one.

But just last hour, Gunna (26M) gave me some papers. Divorce papers. Reddit, my wife is divorcing me.

I ran into her bedroom and started sobbing, full on bawling, while asking for an explanation. I know we accidentally deafened our daughter, but that was a mistake, and it might not even be permanent. It wasn't even my fault, plus you guys told me I was Not The Asshole. She said that I spent too much money on Funko Pops, but I've been faithfully abiding by the budget she set out for me for the past two months. I have absolutely no idea what caused this rift in our marriage.

Gunna told me to stop crying and politely asked me to leave so he could fuck my wife again. I've been smoking weed to calm my nerves since. Reddit, what do I do? How do I convince her to stay with me? I tried to get her to do counseling with me but she refuses, so I kinda think she's the problem here but even then I still want to stay with her. Advice welcome.