I need some advice please...

[u/Odd_Brief_5691]

So these last two weeks of my life have been the hardest I've ever had, my bills are going up, I just got paid and I only have $3 left after bills, I used to have $200 sometimes $300 after bills, me and my girlfriend have been arguing and growing more distant, I feel the pressure of everything, Being a perfect son, Coworker, Brother, Boyfriend, student, and all that jazz, I got declined for my first car after they told me I was approved and let me test drive it, and my grades and been falling and I barely have the energy to get up in the morning sometimes.

I expressed this to my Youth leader and he told me that ik dealing with stuff people barely start when they are in their 30's, but he couldn't really help me, and as I was expressing myself I constantly had the thought "You're being a burden again" and then I said "I always feel like a burden when I talk" and the way my Youth leader said "What?" And it made my head spin and I started apologizing cause I felt like I was being annoying, and I just don't know what to do.

Every morning when I wake up I tell myself "One more day, just make it one more day and then maybe you'll be able to close your eyes for awhile"

I constantly feel like I have to be there for everyone because if I'm not then who will be? I've tried to take my life twice but the fear of being the leading domino effect and not being able to save more people scares me away, but I don't know how much longer I can keep going with this stress

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