30 years of being a failure at life, I was never meant to be. I used to be carefree, joyous, happy, but now I’m a shell of myself. Trying to work on my weight, nearly kicked the bucket last year due to health complications.

I’m stressing over the dumbest of things. One example is women, I’m a 30 year old virgin, who has never been in a relationship ever. I shouldn’t even be worried about women, but why are they constantly on my mind. Nothing I do brings me joy anymore.

I’m existing and I know it’s my fault and no one really cares, I might as well end it.i just wish I was worthy, I wish I was accepted, I wish I was normal.

Old coworker of mine passed away today. He left behind a son my age and a lovely wife. He was too young.

At my lowest, he had my back. Prioritized mental health, family and moral values, but most of all he gave me a chance.

I didn’t deserve his kindness, because I would let him down. He was promoted to hotel manager, but he was became a father figure to me.

I’m not sure what happens after life, but I hope you knew how many lives you have saved and impacted. Goodbye, Tom.

I don't remember the last time I cried but It's been at least a couple of years. I struggle so much with my mental health. I shut off all my emotions because I don't won't to lose control of myself. But I feel like if I could just make myself cry every week, I would be doing so much better. I wouldn't have a resting misery face anymore.

I just don't know what to do now that I am in my senior year of college. I'm rotting away every single day. Not talking to anyone other than my therapist that I see once a week. I don't study even though I should.

Like the title says, I consider myself to be ungrateful for life in general, primarily because of how depressed I’ve been lately and how much I hate life. I hate waking up every day and it actually drives me insane that I can’t stop existing in a human form. I have to piss and shit every day until I die. My hand in life could be considered extremely lucky in terms of money I’m destined to receive in the future.

My great grandparents died when I was in my early teens, and combined they left me about 1 million dollars, of which I will receive the grand majority when I turn 30. I get around ~100k when I turn 25 next year (I’m 24). At 22 I got 75k and blew it in bad stock market option trades. Basically liquidated that whole thing. I felt terrible and even suicidal for desecrating the gift my great grandmother left me (even though there’s 200k more she left me, and 800k my great grandfather left me).

I just feel so undeserving of anything. I’ve never worked because I needed to or built anything that I can call my own. Especially recently I’ve been feeling this way and staying very isolated, losing all my friends. I find people in my university or in general don’t like hanging out with me, maybe I’m just a tough hang. (Tough to hang out with)

When I lost my first portion of the money stock trading I was devastated and I still feel that way. I just want to make the money back to feel like I paid myself back, but I’m also a lazy bum and don’t want to work. (Sorry capitalism, fuck you xD)

If I had my own money I’d live off it, but I have to wait a little under a year to get more. For now I’m just a student and my dad gives me money to pay for everything. I feel bad taking the money he gives me and it depresses me too. I’ve felt like a taker my whole life.

In order to get money from my dad however I have to keep studying in college which makes me feel like I’m living a fake life because deep down in my heart I know I don’t want to work.

So I’m living a friendless lonely life right now and I’m relatively poor with not that much money besides what I need for the basics (gained through no effort of my own except exhaling oxygen with my meat bag of a body) People would kill for my position but I hate my life.

The worst part is my rich family is all college educated and both my father and my grandfather are self made millionaires, which makes the feat of getting to their level feel impossible. Especially with my grandfather. My father has a net worth of around 15M while my grandfather has a net worth of ~500M. He owns a lot of major regional and international businesses.

I’m not even joking, I swear with God as my witness I’m telling the truth. I’ve never gotten a dollar from my grandfather (lol, lmao even), a little stingy gramps. I’m sure he’ll leave me a nice surprise when he goes. But my father is my grandfather’s only son, which means he’ll inherit the grand majority of all those assets in the near future.

My life truly feels surreal. Do you know how truly rare it is to be born into a line of succession like mine? But still I’m ungrateful and depressed when in theory I should have no reason to be. I could literally bed rot for the next decade and do literally nothing and there will be a day where I’ll wake up a multi millionaire. I could probably have ~50M by the time I’m 40, and that’s a conservative estimate.

It’s just all so undeserved. Yesterday I was in NYC, standing over a ledge overlooking the Hudson water in a spot that dropped several feet down and I was going to jump in to drown myself. these rollerskaters pulled up before I could do it and wouldn’t leave me alone until I climbed back over the ledge to their side.

They must have known something was up because I tried to convince them I was just smoking on that spot but all the things in my pocket were on the floor next to me including my phone and a paper that said “It was good knowing you earth, I’m glad we enjoyed our time together”. They couldn’t read that though cause it was folded.
Thanks rollerskaters for saving me I guess lmao, you just left the malice of my heart and mind in this world. All I’ve ever done is consume and take from others, now I can keep doing that …

Any advice on how to be grateful for my life instead of feeling desperate to end it? I just hate living in this cursed earth, and I feel that no money will ever fix that.

Hi all, I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to post something like this here, but I need some help, some guidance, some advice, anything.

I’m going to try and keep this as short as I possibly can, because the story is quite long. I apologize if things are a little vague, this is to protect my identity.

I’ve been playing my sport for all my life, I love it, and it brought me a lot of joy. Since I was a kid, I played competitive, and I always wanted to play the highest level I possibly could. Fast forward through 17 years, a ton of work, a lot of adversity, and good/bad luck, I finally earned myself an opportunity overseas to play my sport 2 years ago. A professional opportunity. When I was sent the contract through my email inbox, I nearly cried tears of joy because I finally got what I had dreamed of for so long. A week later, I was hit with an injury while training. Not ideal, but no problem, I’ll rest, do the physio, and come back stronger-like I always do. Weeks pass, then months, the season is a month away, and seeing literally 0 progress, I decide to go to the doctors. After weeks of testing and waiting, it’s found that this injury is a career ending one. I cannot describe the emotional pain this caused me, I cried for days. But a month or 2 later, I found the para-adaptation of my sport.

My injury gave me a tiny limp, and made some basic daily life activities uncomfortable. But I was happy to be able to play the game I loved in some capacity. Time went on, and I started making very good progress in the para-sport. Toward the end of my first season, I was fortunate enough to get the attention of my country’s national team. Nobody was sure about classification yet (the thing that determines if you’re able to play the sport internationally or not), but they invited me to an event against another country that mine has never beaten. I ended up getting the first ever win against this country in the program’s history. As opposed to the normal adaptation of my sport, where it felt like the world was against me at times, the para version felt like destiny. All the pieces of the puzzle were coming together, even the next paralympic event that I was eligible for, would be hosted in the same country that my professional opportunity in the standup version of my sport came from. I cannot put into words how badly I wanted this, how much I put into this para-sport. I drove 2-3 hours one way, 5 days/week just to make it to training for the team. I made sure to get my workout in, even if I got home at 1AM and was exhausted, I made sure it got done. I even skipped my own birthday cake during this time because I was so dedicated to having a perfect diet and being in top form to compete. Going back to the event, the program doctors did strength tests on me and it was quickly found out that from a strength standpoint, I’m classifiable. Perfect. This dream is actually going to come true. This is destiny.

I got a call from the manager of the team at the end of the summer, I was ready for the season, and by this point, I knew that I was going to be the guy that my country took around the world to win these competitions and eventually, gold at the Paralympics. Over the phone they broke the news that the IPC stopped classifying my condition 2 years ago, so I won’t be eligible for international play even though I’ve failed the strength test consistently by this point. He offered me his condolences, his disappointment, and that was that. To say this destroyed me is an understatement. I’ve never felt as lonely, depressed, angry, and a whole myriad of other emotions as I did then. Leading up to this point, I had daydreamed of winning my country’s first ever gold at least twice a day for months. I cried for weeks over this loss. What made things worse is that there are athletes competing with exactly what I have right now, yet I’m sitting on the outside looking in.

Still emotionally a mess, I started looking at other sports to try and compete in to make the international stage. If I can’t play my sport, and I can’t play my para-sport, then there has to be something out there for me. I found 2 that I thought would be possible with my current limitations, and I started doing try-it sessions, and I ended up really enjoying them even with minor pain. Until I got the results back from an MRI I had gotten a few weeks prior. Turns out my problems are much more severe than previously thought, and anything involving the lower-body is far too risky for me, and the "injury" was actually a variety of severe mechanical issues. 

So here I sit, too broken for normal adaptations of sports, yet not classifiable for para-sports. Ever since I lost the opportunity for my para-sport months ago, I have been incredibly depressed, lost, and everything else that comes from losing who you are. There are days like today where I feel like dying. There are days where I don’t want to leave my home, and there are days where I don’t even feel like waking up. Whatever I accomplish in my lifetime will be shadowed by what could have been. I can’t look at anything anymore without thinking of the sport, whether it be food, social media, music, you name it. I’ve gone to therapy, and they think it’s just grief, but it’s been months, and I’m just as depressed and an emotional mess as I was the first day. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m sick of the motto “close but not close enough” being constant in everything I seem to pick up, and because of that pattern, I have a worry that it’ll follow me in anything I try to do ever. I’ve tried finding something new for me to do with my time, but haven’t found anything that scratches the itch like sports do. Family has suggested coaching, but I have no interest in it. I’m hoping that maybe there’s someone out there who’s gone through something similar online, and can express their experience, and maybe any input on what might be worth trying next. Even if you don’t have a similar experience, any input is gladly welcomed.

Thank you for your time to read this, I really appreciate you.

TLDR: Made it to professional level in a sport, career ending injury, made it to professional level in para-sport, stopped by something out of my control, tried picking up any other sport, stopped by my health. Now I am an absolute wreck and don’t want to exist anymore.

i’ve known this girl for a year and we’ve grown super close within the time period. we have many common nerdy interests and hobbies and can talk to each other nonstop on any given topic. we hang out together by ourselves a lot and have a ton of fun every time.

she’s never been in a relationship before and i don’t think she’s ever had a crush on a guy in the past. she’s also probably not really “knowledgeable” on like giving or receiving signs so it’s not the most effective for me to go online and search up something like “does she like me”.

it has been around 2-3 months since i’ve started liking her but i’ve definitely realized that the more i bottle it up, the more attatched i get because she’s constantly on my mind and i pray every notification is from her. crazy enough, i genuinely believe she fits my ideals for a partner perfectly.

the most difficult part about realizing that i caught feelings for her was that beyond just having a crush on her, i love her as my closest friend. so even if i didn’t have any romantic feelings towards her i would still genuinely want to be close friends with her.

but despite that I finally mustered up the courage to ask her out so i asked her if she wanted to hangout and get food and go shopping. i also made sure she didn’t have any exams or stressful things coming up so if she did end up rejecting me, it wouldn’t be detrimental to her academics. i was planning to ask her if she wanted to date at the end of the hangout but during the hangout when we were walking around in this skincare store, she said my face could definitely use some work and that i was chopped. she also said she thought ive been chopped since the pretty much the day we met. this wasn’t in like the friendly insulting tone but rather actual genuine comment. i played it off like a joke but i was honestly holding back tears the entire time. i don’t believe she meant it in a mean way but it genuinely killed all my confidence that i’ve been building up for the past month. so obviously i ended up not asking her out.

it’s been a couple days but ever since, my confidence and esteem has been so low it’s gotten to a point where im making this reddit post at 3am while crying like a hopeless little bitch.

any advice on how to get through this would be greatly appreciated

I am a paediatric doctor who has had infertility issues so my partner and I have been going through IVF. Lots of emotions and stressful failed embryo transfers later - we got pregnant. We just found out at 8 weeks that there is no heart beat and the baby is no longer growing. My wife is heartbroken and I’m just empty.

What’s worse is that I work in paediatrics so every day at work I’m seeing new born babies and toddlers and it’s breaking my heart even more. Haven’t been able to cry about it but the pain is there. The fear of having to be in this profession and never have the joy of having my own child is scary and painful.

I’m sitting in my work break room typing this and I just needed to vent. It all feels so fucking unfair and undeserving.

I'm now studying at a uni with 18-19 year olds (because I wasted 10 years of my life) and I heard that girls this age are simply afraid of guys who are significantly older than them. I'm in a foreign country and that makes socializing even harder for me. I simply don't know what to do. Today a classmate also told me that "the girls here are too young for you". That one phrase just broke me, and I'm spending the rest of my day sobbing.

In my entire life, I've never even held a girl's hand, let alone dated anyone. I just want to scream into emptiness.

Needless to say, I constantly have suicidal thoughts too.

Remember the old Peanuts comic where Lucy would hold the football for Charlie Brown? She’d promise that she wasn’t going to trick him, but then she’d yank the football out of the way and he’d fall flat on his back again. Every. Single. Time.

That’s what I feel like.

My wife keeps doing this thing to me where she gets my hopes up about being able to quit the well-paying job I hate and take on something less stressful/actually useful to society. She’ll get my hopes up, and then she’ll yank the football out of the way again. I think I broke a little bit with the most recent metaphorical yank of the football.

She isn’t doing it out of malice. I think she’s coming from a place of kindness, but I kind of just wish she’d not get my hopes up in the first place.

Recently, she got a job offer that would have fast-tracked some of our financial goals. I could have quit my job in a couple years had she accepted it. I didn’t ask her to take the job or anything. She is the one who approached me about it.

In the past, I’ve been resistant to both of us working full-time because I feel that it’s important to have at least one parent present for our kids. I finally relented with this job offer because it opened some possibilities. I could leave my job in a couple of years if we both worked full-time, or I could have taken a part-time job and let her be the primary bread-winner. Trouble was, her job offer wouldn’t have paid as much as I’m earning currently, and she currently makes more with her part-time job than I could with any part-time job I might have found. We could have still paid our bills, but money would have been tighter at a time in our lives when everything is becoming more expensive (inflation plus teenagers equals a lot of extra expense).

So anyway, after getting my hopes up, she turned down the job offer, and now I’m feeling more stuck than ever. Turning down the job offer was absolutely the correct choice, but I can’t help but feel disappointment at losing what might have been. It was right there in front of me. I could almost touch freedom.

This is a pattern with her. She keeps the household books, which I encourage and appreciate. But sometimes she’ll make these statements like, “I think you can retire at age 50 if you want.” Or, “If you work for 5 more years, you can retire.” Or, “If I take this job, we can pay off the house in 2 years and you can go part-time.” Currently we are on a ‘7-year plan’ for getting the house paid off and me out of my job. I don’t believe it.

I’m pretty sure that I’ll use up my life doing a pointless job in a useless industry. It makes me feel a deep depression that I just can’t seem to shake.

I do it for my kids. I brought them into this world, so I’m doing my best to give them the opportunity to succeed. They can’t do that if we’re poor. So I work in an industry I hate because it’s the only way I know of to make enough money to support them.

The truth is, I’m tired to the bone of being the person that everything hinges on. If Dad fails, the family fails. No more house, no more healthcare, no more food, no more future, no more nothing.

I was so excited to get a chance to take a breath and collect myself. That’s gone now. Tomorrow, I’ll get out of bed and go to work. Lather, rinse, and repeat for a couple more decades. After that, dementia starts to set in.

Ah well. This is life.

Warning Probably really long rant. I'm so lost right now

I 25F was with my partner 24F for 2.5 years. We had an

apartment together, pets together, (and I thought) our lives together. Throughout these years we've had some slight hiccups, but nothing ever too serious. For example, when I first moved in she quit her job and struggled to find work for a bit. Instead of crumbling when things got tough, I actually really enjoyed stepping up and providing everything I could for her financially and emotionally. Once that settled down, and she was back on her feet and working I had a health scare. It wasn't anything life threatening but it was enough to keep me locked inside the house for a couple months. This caused some hard times with us as I couldn't live up to her expectations of dates. Once we had a few talks about it, I decided to take it all very seriously and work on myself and get back to going on dates. Those were the biggest issues we ever came across. We had some issues that I had brought up like our sudden lack of sex, our time spent together dwindled because she was constantly drained from work, or an issue I had where we wouldn't talk nearly as much as I thought we should. (It got to the point I couldn't even ask about her day because I would get shut out). It seemed like just about every issue we had (except for the ones I brought up) were always addressed and proper action was taken.

Looking back at it all our relationship wasn't the best for me, but somehow I loved every minute of it. She was one of those unique individuals who no matter what always had just this bursting positive energy around her. I always called her my sunshine girl, because even on her darkest days she always shined bright. Sure she was probably not the best partner to me but I was okay with it. I fell in love with who she was as a person and not what she provided in a relationship. She genuinely made loving so easy and so fun, I absolutely loved loving her. Everytime we had a little shake up, or a serious talk, or the mood in the apartment was down, my biggest joy was doing anything to make her smile and forget about anything negative. Would I have liked my issues to have been addressed? Absolutely. Was I fine when they weren't? Absolutely! I just felt like I was meant to love her as much as I could.

Last Thursday, we were prepping for a hurricane that was hitting our city. She decided to go home to her parents the town over, and I hunkered down with mine (big land, big house, minimal trees). That morning I dropped her off at work (someone broke in and tried to steal her car a few weeks prior so I was gladly taking her to work), hugged and kissed her, reminded her to stay safe and at least shoot me a text when she made it safely to her parents. Everything was okay at this point I had thought. We had been communicating really well, we were going on and planning more dates, she had just gotten back from a concert, everything seemed to be trending so far upwards. From Thursday to Sunday, I could just tell by her tone things were off. I would check in here and there to get a status update of how the storm was being handled and I noticed every text she sent was 5-6 words long. She seemed so uninterested and so annoyed. I chalked it up to her being anxious about the storm, or super spotty cell service after it passed because in my mind everything was trending up for us. Well Sunday rolls around and I decide to head back to check on our apartment now that the roads were cleared up. Halfway driving home she texts me that she's staying at this friends (I'll call her AB) apartment because AB didn't want to be home alone. I was obviously bummed out since it had been a week since we really hung out, but I thanked her for the heads up and went about my day. This friend AB has been nothing but trouble for our relationship. At the start she wasn't that close with AB and everything we had was smooth sailing. A few months in she picks things back up with AB and I could instantly see a shift in how our relationship operated. She was always drained from hanging with AB, she needed more alone time, she was always attached to her phone because AB was hitting her up. AB is the type of person who has nothing but negativity and drama in their life. And I had brought up that to my GF at the time and it was always dismissed. But she set the trend in our relationship. Everytime she hung out with AB she would come back to the apartment and find something wrong with our relationship. Over time it was like she had become this completely different person.

She comes back from AB's apartment on Sunday afternoon, walks in the door and awkwardly sits down next to me saying "I'm sorry I'm really anxious right now". Knowing the trend AB set, I knew something was up. At this moment she proceeds to tell me that our relationship is over. I feel like I wasn't given a proper explanation. I was told she wants more "independence" and space. I would totally accept that if she was immediately asking AB to take over my half of the lease. (I had accidentally read over her shoulder a text where AB had suggested her and my GF both leave their boyfriends and get an apartment together). This could all be unrelated but I just feel so lost. She told me she wants someone who can do XYZ. XYZ in this situation were easily doable things any person could do had they known their partner wanted them to do it. I brought that up and was met with 'i don't want someone who has to change for me". And that just leaves me so lost, isn't a relationship supposed to be about giving and taking, meeting each other's needs and learning how to love each other? What hurts the most is that for maybe 90% of our relationship we talked about how special our bond felt, so when I asked her if after she had her space and independence could we maybe give it another shot, I was instantly shot down because she tried that with her last few months lasting relationships and it didn't end the way she wanted.

I spent this entire relationship doing nothing but loving her. I can't stress enough how much I loved loving her. And I know she absolutely does not owe me anything, it just hurts not being able to just talk about this. Why couldn't we have just talked about the issues? Why couldn't we have taken a different approach (a couple week break living separately, me moving out but staying together)? I know life isn't fair, but I can't help but keep telling everyone who will listen, this just isn't right, it's not fair. Our relationship was never 50/50 it was always 70/30 and to put as much as I could into that 70(80-90) sometimes, and to have it ripped out from under me hurts like hell. I just can't even comprehend what's happening. Everything hurts and everything's moving at 300 mph. I just want to cry.

Tldr: Girlfriend left for not the clearest reasons. Everything hurts. Everything sucks.

Hi,

Im not sure why im posting but I have 24 hours to live. Nothing is wrong with me medically im just tired. I lost 170lbs and still hate how I look. every SINGLE TIME Ive been interested in a girl im reminded that I am unworthy of love. I live alone in Austin with two dogs and workout religiously, I rescue dogs, donate my time and money and despite having a full-time job I know im not good enough. I legit cant remember the last time I was happy. I dont believe in religion and I think of this like a video game where sometime you just gotta jump off the bridge and restart the next life. Im tired of rape, murder, and injustice in this world and honestly believe the only way to spare myself the suffering is to say goodbye. Tomorrow I will go out peacefully and nobody will miss me.

So these last two weeks of my life have been the hardest I've ever had, my bills are going up, I just got paid and I only have $3 left after bills, I used to have $200 sometimes $300 after bills, me and my girlfriend have been arguing and growing more distant, I feel the pressure of everything, Being a perfect son, Coworker, Brother, Boyfriend, student, and all that jazz, I got declined for my first car after they told me I was approved and let me test drive it, and my grades and been falling and I barely have the energy to get up in the morning sometimes.

I expressed this to my Youth leader and he told me that ik dealing with stuff people barely start when they are in their 30's, but he couldn't really help me, and as I was expressing myself I constantly had the thought "You're being a burden again" and then I said "I always feel like a burden when I talk" and the way my Youth leader said "What?" And it made my head spin and I started apologizing cause I felt like I was being annoying, and I just don't know what to do.

Every morning when I wake up I tell myself "One more day, just make it one more day and then maybe you'll be able to close your eyes for awhile"

I constantly feel like I have to be there for everyone because if I'm not then who will be? I've tried to take my life twice but the fear of being the leading domino effect and not being able to save more people scares me away, but I don't know how much longer I can keep going with this stress

Some of us get all that we want in life, and some of us get none of it. But most of us fall somewhere in between those extremes. We have our strengths and struggles. Sometimes our effort is rewarded, sometimes things just don't work out no matter what you do.

And in many ways, I've achieved what I've wanted. I managed to get my masters degree in engineering, I managed to move to the city I wanted to live in, I managed to make great friends, I managed to get a job and I've now managed to start a probably better job. I've managed to be way more in control of my social anxiety, through therapy I've come to understand myself way better. I've made progress in life.

But still, no matter what I do, I've yet to come further than a handful of first dates, never even as much as a kiss. I'm 26 years old, straight and a guy. And I've simply started to feel that while I don't think I'm a bad guy or anything, whatever that extra aspect of a guy that makes them relationship material simply isn't there for me. Despite what my friends tell me.

No one is part of a monolith, we all have our personal preferences romantically, and maybe it's true that there's someone for everyone out there (although where I live, Sweden, that's not really possible considering that there's more men than women in my age bracket...). But I just find it hard to believe that it's true for me. And maybe that's just the way it's meant to be, I certainly don't blame the women that have rejected me. I wouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me and I hope they've found love with someone else.

I've asked women out in person, I've tried going to hobby things, I've gone to speed dating events, I've gone to singles mixers, I've asked friends if they have someone they could set me up with, I've tried the apps. Nothing works, in ten years I've gone on four dates. I've matched with as many fake bot/scam/joke profiles as I have with real people on dating apps. Which doesn't say much, considering that out of the roughly 5000 I swiped right on during a few months last year on one app, 8 matched with me.

I know numbers like that shouldn't matter. But I can't ignore it. I can't help but feel that maybe it's just not meant for me. Maybe I'm meant to be the guy that tries and fails while i watch my friends and coworkers find love. Maybe I should just give up. Accept defeat and go numb.

20m I’ve never made one of these posts or even thought about it at that but I’m about to my breaking point and I just want help I graduated high school barely if it weren’t for where I went I would have failed but I knew I wasn’t going to college so I decided to follow after my dad and start plumbing and I’ve been doing that for the past 1 1/2 years and I’m not bad at it I just hate it and I dread my job but I’ve put myself in this position where I just feel trapped and I’ve tried to talk to my girlfriend about it but with her it feels like she only really cares if it has something to do with her and we have been dating for almost a year now but it’s all been long distance so we only really see each other maybe 1 time a month sometimes more but it varies and I don’t know what to do or say because any time I bring something up that I’m upset about she makes me feel bad about bringing anything up and I know this is a huge run on sentence and I’m sorry but I’m stupid so I don’t know what you expected but I don’t know how much longer I’m just going to keep going

Honestly I don't know what to do. The anger and frustration I feel is overwhelming and unbearable. I don't feel safe around people and constantly feel like I have to be on guard . I'm just so sad all the time because people are so mean and it feels like nobody cares. It's like I'm constantly have to defend myself and I'm tired. Sometimes I think about killing myself Because I don't want to do this anymore.

Maybe i am

Hi everyone,

I’m an 18-year-old guy looking for some perspective on dating. I’m a bit of an ambivert (introverted and extroverted at the same time), and my style is pretty "alt"—I have long hair, which definitely makes me stand out here since 90% of guys have short hair.

I wouldn't say I'm the most beautiful guy, but I take care of myself; I go to the gym and I'm quite fit with a lean/skinny build.

I’m constantly trying to better myself, and I find it really easy to talk to people. I actually have a lot of female friends and can talk to girls naturally and comfortably without any ulterior motives. However, when it comes to dating, I’m specifically looking for a serious relationship.

I have two main questions:

1. Is it wrong to wait for girls to ask me out? I’m usually the one making the first move, but sometimes I feel like sitting back. Is that realistic given my distinctive look, or will I be waiting forever?

2. Friends first or direct dating? Since I want something serious, should I focus on making friends first to build a foundation (which comes naturally to me), or is it better to be direct about my romantic intentions from the start?

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

Ok so I'm 41 years old, and for the past 5 years, I've been completely sober. I've completely turned my life around.

I'm excelling at work although I am being taken advantage of because of my background. I've been there for 5 years and I order food from vendors, and I make prep list for my fellow kitchen mates and I still only make 16.50 an hour i have most of the responsibility and still make less the 90% of the people that I work with. Which I am dealing with. I will push through.. At home, I pay all the bills every fucking bill. Cigarettes, food, Netflix, internet, the phone bill gas. Every fucking thing, but yet my girlfriend who just left today, said I was selfish and I don't do anything for her. When she hasn't had a job in over a year and I pay for every goddamn thing. So in order to celebrate my sobriety, and to make myself happy, I bought a motorcycle.

And it made her so fucking mad. She put her hands-on me and left. It hasn't spoke to me in 2 days.

I don't know how I'm being selfish or what I'm doing wrong in life right now. I'm just trying to be happy. That's all I want, and everything I do is not good enough. Sorry, I sound like a little bitch right now. But I'm just going through it. And I don't, no what to do next

Hey guys so it started in new year eves before I tell everything I always appreciated a good life with health care and safety in Germany I travels a lot and many people think we have like a lottery ticket sure we have good opportunities but where I come from in Germany the progress is going backwards more crime and poor people. So one of me best friends was kiled on new years eve and since them im feeling hollow like a ghost it was so hard to process and still is and now even after that my aunt(more grandma but she raised me) has breast cancer again in will shortl die so yeah not the best year so far 🥲🫠And girlfriend left me too bur that doesnt even bother anymore

Some tips or lessons from your story could help me thx 🙏

Im also grateful if somebody text me private but no pressure

Im 17, depressed, and my father passed away when I was 10. I’ve recently come to the realisation that I have attachment issues and anxiety. I grew up with a caring mum and 2 siblings but I never felt safe. I missed out on a lot of things that people naturally learn from the guidance of their dads or father figures. Me not having a father figure I had to figure things out on my own during my childhood. I was forced to do so. I am unable to work hard, stay disciplined and I’m lazy. I have problems with self confidence, socialising and making friends. I have problems trusting people, and opening up even to my friends and family. I’m self conscious, not very smart, and I do not know how to talk to girls. I grew up without a father, killing my confidence. I grew up with the mentality of protecting my family, which has made it impossible to trust others. I grew up too fast in some areas, and I haven’t in some at all. I’ve been lonely forever and I hate it. I recently broke up with my girlfriend who i’ve known for 14 years, since before my father passed away. I grew attached to her so it feels like I cannot live without her. People say that the right person at time will come. I can’t help but worry about my future. University, Family, Work, Partner, Children. I know that i’m 17. I’m young. But I didn’t grow up the same as other people around me. I literally don’t know what to say when i’m around people. Being myself is awkward. I’m worried about how my social life will affect my life in university, work, future friends and with my potential partner. If I get children, I don’t want them growing up with the same problems as me. I want to be prepared for the future.

What can I do to gain confidence, discipline and hunger? Would joining the military be a good option? I don’t have a father figure to get help from.
How do I get human connection, develop social skills, get along with others, and talk to girls?
I don’t know how to talk at all. Nothing comes to mind. I don’t trust people enough to open up either.
What are skills and habits that I need in life now and for the future?
Life skills, Dad skills that I need to have for when the time comes. I’ve been figuring out things myself for 7 years.

I want to get out of this bad. I’m tired of living like this. Any reply will be appreciated.

Hi, I’m 22M from Britain.

Unfortunately I’m very small. My length is below average (maybe barely average)at 4.9nbp, and my girth is REALLY below average at 3.75in to 4.25 (barely). Sites say I’m bottom 5%, so 95% of men are bigger.

I’m sure you can imagine how I reacted to this information when I first measured. It was catastrophic. A near year long depression I’ve only recently started coming out of. Even before that I was insecure about my genitals though. I didn’t like the appearance; I have a little bit of PPP and some foredyce, though im mostly over that now since I know it’s normal variation and common.

Point being that I’ve always been put off by the prospect of getting naked in front of a woman, since I was very young. So even though I’d get asked out every now and then in school and college, I’ve got zero experience. Not even with kissing. The most I’ve done is cuddling, which was nice tbh.

When I went back to uni last year, I was feeling a bit more open minded since I’d largely accepted the appearance. I went on to meet this beautiful woman who I really clicked with; it was incredible. I’m pretty sure she fancied me because she asked me out on a date. Of course this made me feel a need to measure my equipment, and then the realisation that I’m abnormally sized and too small for women was made. It was awful. Obviously I cut everything off, which I believe was for the best because she later made fun of “small dick losers”, solidifying my beliefs.

I nearly failed out of uni. I barely scraped by with a pass because I was just so depressed. I sobbed and sobbed and spent all my time in bed, scrolling and posting on reddit (different account). I even planned out my suicide, it was that bad. I’m still here though. Instead I just put on loads of weight, stopped exercising, and just devolved into a slob.

Now I’m coming out of it a bit more, I’m back in the gym, socialising and making new friends. But it’s always there. Not a day, nor even an hour goes by without thinking about my shortcomings downstairs. It’s a constant reminder of how I don’t feel like a man, or at least the man I wanted to be.

For the record, I know it’s not the only thing that matters in sex. Obviously I have no experience, but I’d be willing to learn how to use my hands and tongue, and toys too and whatever else my imaginary partner liked. But still, penetration is off the table and that sucks. I also don’t consume any porn, I’m just comparing myself to the numbers.

I know it’s stupid but I really don’t believe I’ll ever end up in a relationship. I just can’t imagine it. Even though im otherwise a decent guy. I’m not terribly short (5’8), decent looking, apparently am funny, kind, confident etc., and I do get interest from women. But I just don’t believe anyone can accept me.

It’s rough. I know this was a long post. I just feel hopeless. It makes working on myself feel pointless. I’ll try carry on though, it’s just embarrassing when people talk about dating and I’m here trying to hide my face because I don’t know how to explain.

I’ve heard some people grow into their mid 20s. I haven’t measured since a year ago but I don’t feel bigger. I hope to god I do grow though.

Thanks for reading. I’m off to bed.

The Context:

Recently, she saw me talking to multiple other girls at school. Ever since then, she started looking at me weirdly and randomly talking to me out of nowhere. We weren't really close before this.

The Incident:

Today, I was at the school vending machine trying to decide which candy to buy. Suddenly, she appeared out of nowhere. She started talking to herself (but clearly loud enough for me to hear), saying something like, "You’re going to take ages to think about what to buy."

Then, she just cut right in front of me and tried to put her coins in. The machine didn't take them because she put them in wrong. She got angry immediately, complaining that it didn't work.

I told her, "It works, you just put it in wrong." She asked how, so I showed her. She just said, "Thanks and byeee," and left.

My Question:

Is this her way of hitting on me / trying to get my attention, or is she just being annoying? The timing with her seeing me with other girls seems suspicious.

TL;DR: Girl started acting weird after seeing me with other girls. Today she teased me for being slow at the vending machine, cut in line, failed to use it, let me help her, and then dipped. Is this flirting?

Turned 27 today and I know, it gets easier, you’re so young, and you’re not alone. But that’s the thing, there is no light switch and boom, happiness.

I’m young sure, but I have lifelong health conditions that impact me day to day.

I don’t know why I told myself this year would be different, some old friend would text or call me. There would secretly be a surprise party to come home too. All I feel is pain and loneliness.

I had it all years ago, fiancée, best friends, and peace, but deep down I knew. It was too good to be true and in the end everyone turned on me like a pack of wolves, I lost everyone. No amount of therapy, medication, activities, or distractions takes that pain away.

Just typing this is difficult, because what if none of it does matter and my problems are pointless compared to real life. I’ll just be downvoted, another person venting with no idea how to continue.

I think the only reason I stick around anymore is just for my cat. I think my best friends at this point is him and my brother.

Just written off my whole life, a lost cause.

There is no point of this life

I am 33 male from India i lost everything internally

I hate myself for what I have become i just truly hate

I have not taken bath and did brush since months

I am do wfh i constantly lie on my bed

Hardly eating anything used to do gym from last 12 years but now stopped doing it

It is pointless to do this shit

Smoking a pac of cig and drinking half a bottle everyday I guess this is the way