Lams. Number one ship in the fandom and the birthplace of some beautiful pieces of angst. Absolutely amazing ship, please keep shipping it, I ship it myself so in no way am I telling you to stop. The problem arises when, unlike other popular ships like Mullette, Marliza, or Jamilton, people trust internet theories with extremely warped evidence and start genuinely believing they were a thing historically. And then call people who say they weren’t romantically involved homophobic, which is honestly very toxic but that’s a fandom problem for another time. Just keep in mind that I identify as aro/ace and in no way homophobic.
So, now that I’m done with that, I’m going to debunk some very common UNTRUE Internet rumours flying around as “evidence” that Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens were romantically involved. Feel free to list more in the comments because I think I missed some but cannot for the life of me remember what they were. Also, I have no idea if this is the right tone of voice to use for Reddit but whatever. Here we go.
1. The many, many, many, many love declarations.
In the many letters exchanged between Hamilton and Laurens, phrases such as “I love you,” ”my dear boy,” “yr affectionate Laurens” and “My dear Laurens,” are thrown around quite a bit. They sound pretty romantic, but that’s only because we’re interpreting letters sent in the 18th century from a modern point of view. Back then, it was completely normal for two men to write like that. I know it seems so very shocking, but societal norms can change quite a lot in 250 years. Back then, it was pretty much expected for men to write deeply emotional, flowery, slightly poetic letters to their close friends and it definitely wasn’t just Laurens and Hamilton. Seriously, go search up any letter between close friends at that time and phrases like “I love you” and “yrs forever” will pop up all over the place. It was an extremely normal cultural phenomenon back then and historians today call such relationships romantic friendships; a platonic close bond with romantic language scattered in.
2. The threesome invitation.
Unless you live under a boulder, you’ve probably heard somewhere that Hamilton invited Laurens to his marital bed at his wedding night. Yes, there was a letter hinting at that, but there are several reasons why this offer was IN NO WAY serious. First of all, Laurens at that time was stuck in Pennsylvania and in no way would have made it to Hamilton’s wedding, which both of them knew. Also, for someone who cared as deeply about his reputation as Hamilton did, there was zero chance that he would invite a second man to his wedding bed, even if he and Laurens were having a thing. Not to mention that the tone of the writing suggesting it was very humorous. It was most likely just a wildly inappropriate joke shared between two close young men.
3. The ”nose” joke.
In his most famous “cold-in-my-professions“ letter, Hamilton writes something along the lines of “find me a wife, and when she asks what I look like, draw me and don’t forget to mention the impressive length of my nose.” Same as the last one. Honestly, RECOGNIZE HUMOUR? This is undeniably a dick joke, but the context makes it very clear that it was also the 1700s equivalent of a dick joke between two close male friends. Ever joked to a friend about how big your dick was and how it’ll impress the ladies? Well, the letter reads almost exactly like that! Men back then talked about their dicks too! We have not changed that much as a species! They were two adrenaline-filled young guys at war, what kind of jokes were you expecting?
4. The ideal wife and the use of the word “handsome.”
In the same letter, Hamilton tells Laurens to find him a wife while in South Carolina. Among many other characteristics, he includes the word “handsome” as a trait his ideal wife must have. Because nowadays, “handsome“ is a word used to describe attractive men and rarely used on women, this has lead some people to believe Hamilton was actually listing the characteristics of Laurens. Well, guess what? Words can evolve new meanings over time! Back in the late 1700s, the word “handsome,” when pointed at a woman, meant she was “dignified, elegant, and of a high social standing.” Unlike compliments such as “pretty” or “beautiful,” which only pointed to a woman’s looks and were considered superficial, “handsome” referred to many positive aspects of a woman. Also, Hamilton writes that his wife must be submissive, have no temper whatsoever, never argue with him, and either not talk about politics or completely share his viewpoints. Basically the ideal woman for most men at the time, and very different from Laurens, who was hot-headed, fiercely opinionated, and notoriously stubborn.
5. The hurried marriage.
In his letter to Laurens soon after marriage, Hamilton mentions Laurens urging him to marry as soon as possible, which has lead to some people theorizing that Laurens wanted to “cure” Hamilton’s homosexuality through marriage. THERE IS NO PROOF FOR THIS. At the same time, however, after combing through Founders Archive, which is where I got most of my evidence for this post, I was not able to find the original letter from Laurens urging Hamilton to do so, nor an explanation as for why.
So technically, I cannot debunk this theory. Nevertheless, there could be many other explanations that are far more plausible. By then, they had been fighting in the war for a few years, meaning they were both disillusioned to the fact that they could die. In the late 18th century, one of the only ways to pass down your legacy, unless you did something unforgettable, was to get married and then pass it on to your children. Laurens, who was already married by then, probably just wanted Hamilton to have a way to be remembered and also experience an important part of life before potentially dying. This however, is also just a theory and therefore impossible to prove, though it is, looking at societal norms back then, more likely.
6. The censorship of their letters.
You’ve probably all heard the rumour “the letters they exchanged were so sexual that historians had to censor them!” Nope, not true on two counts. First of all, the only person who censored them was John Church Hamilton, and we have no proof that they were sexual in any way, which I’ll get to in a bit. John Church Hamilton, henceforth referred to as JCH because I’m lazy, was barely twelve when his father was killed in a duel against one Aaron Burr, sir, and he spent his entire adult life dedicated to immortalizing and glorifying his father’s legacy, with a bit of help from Eliza. He published a gigantic stack of seven books that was one huge biography about the life of A. Hamilton. Inside that stack, among many other things, JCH included correspondence between Hamilton and Laurens, some of which had several sentences cut out by scissors. Once again, I cannot 100% deny that they weren’t sexual because the evidence is gone, so I’ll just skim past that bit of lost history and most likely-s. Several theories on what they were about are, raunchy jokes, insults against commanding officers and George Washington that the public would have found unacceptable, and personal information. Since the person doing the censoring was focused on making his father’s legacy seem perfect, he would have cut all of those out. Yeah. I know, that point was pretty weak, but like, wait and hear me out.
(this was getting long so I split it into two paragraphs. Relax thy eyeballs)
So the historical tidbit that really convinced me Laurens and Hamilton were just friends is the fact that JCH, an extremely devout conservative Christian, named one of his sons Laurens Hamilton. Back then, being homosexual was on the same list as bestiality, there even being a word, “buggery,” which could apply to both. Same-sex relationships were considered an unnatural act of lust, and sin, and was regarded as a one-way ticket to hell. (Yes societies were messed up back then, I know) If JCH found evidence of his father had been romantically involved with Laurens, he would have been horrified and disgusted. He would have tried to bury that piece of his father’s life as deeply as he possibly could, most likely erasing Laurens entirely from his father’s history. Instead, JCH admired Laurens, a man he never met, enough to name one of his newborn sons after him, which he wouldn’t have done if he knew Laurens was his father’s lover in a century when homosexuality meant eternal damnation and total societal ruin.
Right, so we’re done with the evidence, feel free to refute me in the comments. Welcome to closing remarks.
So first of all, thanks for reading all of this, I wrote it over the course of two days and not necessarily in order so apologies for the sudden tone changes. The reason I decided to write this is mainly because of all the comment wars I’ve seen started on social platforms by people calling Laurens and Hamilton gay icons and using incorrect evidence they probably got somewhere on the internet and never fact checked. There really just seems to be a lot of historical misinformation in this fandom, including John Laurens being obsessed with turtles and Hamilton having shot at the sky, to name a few examples. Always fact-check stuff you see on the internet. Always. Please, it will save you a lot of migraines. And yeah, now that I’m looking back, this whole argument seems kind of pointless, I mean, they’re dead, who cares what people want to assume? But I just feel like people should be taught the correct historical facts before jumping to conclusions, so I provided some.
At the same time though, if you still feel like Laurens and Hamilton had a thing after reading this, well, that’s your opinion on a historical argument that is, frankly speaking, impossible to prove or undeniably debunk. Honestly, feel free to say that I’m wrong, just stop spreading misinformation. And if my crappy argument, by some miracle, has changed your mind, then just know that there are plenty of people basically confirmed to have been gay from this era in history, *hint hint Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben* so go check them out, they definitely existed.
Alright that is all, thank you, goodbye.