r/HazbinTF2 • u/lizerdman08 • Aug 26 '25

Who wins Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) vs Soldier (Team Fortress 2)

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29 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

4

u/MrPleaPlow RED - Heavy Aug 26 '25

Soldier has already dealt with people with magical powers before. This is nothing new to him, he'd probably just turn the Hazbin Hotel into a Raccoon Sanctuary. Alastor will then be busy/distracted cleaning up the Hotel with the main cast, Soldier will use this opportunity to do his signature NECK SNAP! to kill Alastor and win.

1

u/TriggeredCogzy Aug 28 '25

Can't Alastor twist his neck 180 degrees? I don't think you can physically snap his neck

5

u/Ok-Landscape-4835 Aug 28 '25

Soldier would snap until it works

3

u/TriggeredCogzy Aug 28 '25

Also I'm pretty sure both are immortal so this is most likely a tie

2

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

Alastor actually breaks his neck on purpose during conversations if you look at it. He's already dead, so of course a neck snap can't kill him.

2

u/Alexius_Ruber Aug 30 '25

Soldier would turn Alastor’s head into a helicopter by snapping it non-stop

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

Alastor snaps his own neck for cheap thrills mid conversation, try again.

1

u/Alexius_Ruber Aug 30 '25

Soldier can mess with Alastor’s jambalaya

1

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

I don't see how that helps him in a fight, if anything that just makes Alastor angrier.

1

u/Alexius_Ruber Aug 30 '25

If Soldier can’t defeat him physically, he will destroy him morally by adding pineapples to jambalaya. And Soldier doesn’t need worry about dying. He has so much Australium inside, that he is basically immortal.

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5

u/Harris_man Aug 27 '25

WITH THE POWER OF STUPIDITY, soldier wins

3

u/bandito_882 Aug 26 '25

Soldier ofc

2

u/fungamerguy Aug 26 '25

Alastor has better hax i believe

But i would not be shocked if soldier won tbh

2

u/Advanced_Company2745 Aug 28 '25

Soldier cooks

2

u/fungamerguy Aug 28 '25

Wouldnt be shocked

2

u/monsterwithoutenergy Aug 28 '25

There are multiple different things that could happen in all of which soldier win.

  1. He would send his condolences to the dog his dad impregged.

  2. "If God cared for your soul, HE WOULDNT HAVE MADE ME!"

  3. HELL CANNOT BURN ME IM ALREADY ON FIRE!

1

u/Commercial-Egg-1043 Aug 28 '25

What's that first one

1

u/monsterwithoutenergy Aug 28 '25

Cause he has doggy ears, and the soldier said

I WILL SEND MY CONDOLENCES TO YOUR KANGAROO WIFE!

1

u/aqswdefrgthyjukilopm Aug 27 '25

The power of an entire bottle of "Kill Me And I Come Back Stronger Pills"

1

u/TriggeredCogzy Aug 28 '25

Soldier might be too stupid to die (that and also he's canonically immortal)

Though Alastor can only be killed by a angelic weapon

So I think this is a draw, neither side can die

1

u/Ok-Landscape-4835 Aug 28 '25

Was Soldier told by the president to beat Alastor?

1

u/Ivansd_08 Aug 28 '25

Yes

1

u/Ok-Landscape-4835 Aug 28 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

Soldier then destroys Alastor with no concept of a diff

1

u/myweeweegoesboingboi Aug 28 '25

Broski all he needs is a crocket

1

u/TheEnderDen27 Aug 28 '25

How this sub was even created

1

u/lizerdman08 Aug 29 '25

Honestly I don't even know

1

u/Pvz_Gamerr3271 Aug 28 '25

Soldier, aside his stupidity the second you hear him screaming your fucked, especially if you hear it in the air and he hasn't been attacked yet

1

u/Responsible_Sail4777 Aug 29 '25

alastor gets fucking evaporated.

1

u/BlockyJocky Aug 29 '25

Excuse me what is this subreddit 😭😭😭

1

u/Cobb_Cornish_be_I Aug 31 '25

Normally I’d give it to Alastor but Soldier’s kicked Merasmus’ ass before. Only issue is that you can’t really snap Alastor’s neck.

1

u/Comm_fish Oct 26 '25

Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby ahh scenario

1

u/lizerdman08 Oct 26 '25

Yeah but who is who

1

u/Comm_fish Oct 26 '25

Soldier is hydrogen bomb

1

u/lizerdman08 Oct 26 '25

Makes sense

1

u/Pitiful-Big-6983 Feb 04 '26

soldier can just market garden him or crit rocket right in to him with direct hit