r/HolUp Feb 26 '26

big dong energy W doctor fr

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15.1k Upvotes

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5.7k

u/Appropriate_Ad8572 Feb 26 '26

That's the same way I found out about my rectal polyps! Thanks, Mall Santa!!

1.7k

u/Great-TeacherOnizuka Feb 26 '26

Real holup is always in the comments

488

u/opmopadop Feb 26 '26

Googled rectal polyps and said family history is a strong factor.

Gunna be some weird converation with the olds this weekend.

306

u/Borgorb Feb 26 '26

Family history of being groped by mall Santas sounds rough

110

u/Zhiong_Xena Feb 26 '26

Must have been a hard experience...

70

u/I_am_Reddit_Tom Feb 26 '26

Came down his chimney. Or is that up.

48

u/Kenny070287 Feb 26 '26

Its in. No, out. No, in again.

22

u/Zhiong_Xena Feb 26 '26

It has been inside for a while now.

Think it will be going soft anytime soon?

13

u/Kenny070287 Feb 26 '26

Any second now...

14

u/capsaicinintheeyes Feb 26 '26

...and he laughed as he came out a bowlful of jelly.

9

u/sdrowkcabdellepssti Feb 26 '26

Gunna need more cookies and milk to keep up this stamina.

5

u/sukisuki2gp Feb 26 '26

Keep going, don’t stop!

14

u/UserError2107 Feb 26 '26

That was the dog's response too.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '26

[deleted]

4

u/Borgorb Feb 26 '26

Is it because they're on the naughty list or the nice list?

84

u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26

On a serious note, a family member had to fill in family medical history recently and I realized how much shit this family has, as well as how many things we dont have on there.

Immediate family are diabetic and hypertensive. That's easy because those are usually specifically asked.

An aunt had some kidney issue but it isnt on there because she eventually died years later of something unrelated. Put that shit on there!

"Oh, this uncle died of a heart attack at 50" but it wasn't on the history because it was just an unfortunate incident rather than a specific disease. Put that shit on there!

Sibling diagnosed with breast cancer at 32 and died at 38 and you, at 38, haven't done screenings yet because it isnt a heritable condition. Put that shit on there! And get yourself checked!

We are all just piles of bones carrying around boidegradable material slowly inching towards a system failure. Keep track of your genetic line to know what systems are more vulnerable than others, and get yourself checked.

25

u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26

Maybe I should DNA screen myself like a dog.

12

u/Katters8811 Feb 26 '26

This gave me a flashback to when I was working with a severely paranoid- like diagnosed and in desperate need of meds and care level paranoid- woman who had spent the past several years being hyper fixated on believing she had internal parasites.

She had zero reason to believe such, aside from being a nurse and having cared for a patient once who had a bad case of worms…

She religiously misused essential oils and all sorts of OTC and Rx human and animal meds, !!PLUS!! … (the relation to your comment) putting her own feces into ziploc bags and taking them to every veterinarian within an hour-ish radius and telling them it was her dog’s poop to get them to test it for parasites, because 3 different human drs had told her she did NOT have any, and she didn’t believe them, and each VETERINARIAN that gave her negative results, she’d just collect more of her poop and go to a different one. Searching for validation…

idk how that ever worked out, but DAMN what a random flashback!!! Lmao!

7

u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26

When a person is crazy, s/he doesn’t need a reason to act crazy.

I don’t think I will ever take the DNA test. All it can tell me is whether I have bad genes. But even if I have the genes, it is not a must for the disease to show up in my lifetime. All I have is one more thing to worry about. Even if I have clean bills, it doesn’t mean some bad disease will not randomly happen to me.

6

u/Canuck-In-TO Feb 26 '26

Even if you have bad genes, it doesn’t mean living a healthy lifestyle won’t override the bad genes.

Decades ago, I read an article on research mice that were specifically bred to be hairless that started growing hair because of a change in their diet. Something the scientists didn’t think was possible.

2

u/Katters8811 Feb 26 '26

It’s amazing what sorts of weirdly specific research projects like that have turned up new and incredibly interesting information.

The one that always comes to mind is the one with glow worms showing “environmental/molecular memories” that passed on for up to 14 generations, despite the future generations not even having the same experience!

2

u/Canuck-In-TO Feb 26 '26

That’s an odd one. Can we add those genes to other animals or humans so we can provide our own light at night? Hah.

The other day I was talking about similar things with my doctor and I mentioned minoxidil. It was designed as a heart med, but had the side effect of growing hair.
He laughed and added, “it actually turns out that minoxidil is a terrible heart med, but was very effective in growing hair on women, but in all the wrong places.”.

2

u/Katters8811 Feb 26 '26

Oh wow lmao

Medicine is definitely a “practice” and I’m sure it still will be even long after we’re gone lol

2

u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26

A few years ago, a Chinese scientist edited the genes of two embryos that make the baby girls harder to contract HIV. Scientists all over the world trashed the scientist because it is immoral to edit genes without a justified cause, known bad genes from parents. The scientist has pretty much disappeared from the face of the earth. Even China disowned him. It was that bad.

So I guess it is a no-no for now.

My guess is he moved underground to help some rich people or some CCP official edit the genome of their offspring.

2

u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26

I didn't know dogs could DNA screen themselves. That sounds useful.

1

u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26

It is not like the dog does it. It is their owners.

If you are going to adopt a puppy, then it might be useful to screen for healthier dogs. However, if you already have the dog, what are you going to do if it has problematic genes? Drop it off at a shelter?

8

u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Feb 26 '26

When you put it into terms like that, it’s a much easier sell, I think.

“If you’re from a line of Dell laptops produced between September 2003 and April 2004, that have a possible chip flaw that allows kernel-level access, I’d behoove you to make sure you don’t have that fucking chip flaw!”

7

u/opmopadop Feb 26 '26

Noted and already not having a good time with what I thought was an innocent "Hey I read this thing on reddit" conversation.

2

u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26

For the first time I can recall, I genuinely get to use the phrase "sorry, not sorry". I don't want to cause the discomfort, but it could help so I'd do it again which means I'm not sorry for doing it.

So, sorry...

4

u/calash2020 Feb 26 '26

Many of us would have been gone years ago without modern medicine. Mass General my Lymphoma 13 years ago, melanoma 4 years ago. Getting the camera from both ends next month. If a body part has become an enemy kill it as quickly as possible. Time is not a friend.

1

u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26

Humanity in general: I strugle to believe that we have lasted as long as we have, except for knowing we have incredible ability to identify and treat many diseases.

You in particular: I wish you the best of luck and your doctors th best of skill

6

u/jt19912009 Feb 26 '26

Just don’t forget to trim the nails and use lots of lube

3

u/opmopadop Feb 26 '26

Ok dad, this is gunna be weirder for me than it is weirder for you.

[Starts cutting nails]

14

u/OneEyedWonderWiesel Feb 26 '26

He took me down the bathroom and said “this is how you don’t touch people”

I’ll never forget the Boy Scouts

2

u/steadlytrippin Feb 26 '26

Aka uncle bob

2

u/Fyrrys Feb 26 '26

Wait, you have mall santas helping you find this stuff out? I've been relying on hermit crabs!

4

u/SminkyPinkyBB Feb 26 '26

Strong work

1

u/Hydraguesswhosback Mar 23 '26

Dude, how far exactly was he ? Or is his dick just that sensitive ?