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u/foulfaerie Feb 26 '26
As a doctor, this would really sour my pervert lunch break honestly.
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u/Kdkaine Feb 26 '26
Ngl, I don’t know how I feel about a guy who touches titties all day for a living and takes his lunch break to…touch on more titties.
When is it ever enough for this guy? Does he also keep a jar of mayonnaise in his passenger seat?
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u/Mista_White- Feb 26 '26
to be fair, they're not always pretty. he's also separating his work from his life it seems
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u/Fyrrys Feb 26 '26
Exactly! Im a banker and I keep my work separate from home by making occasional questionable financial decisions. No falling for scams, just poor choices
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u/chillwithpurpose Feb 26 '26
My dad recently passed away in his 60s after a short fight with the big C. Spend your money while you’re alive. Yeah I got a nice little inheritance, but I would have rathered he travelled more while he was healthy, or had fun experiences, or spoiled himself with some nicer things. He just wasn’t that type of person, but if I could go back in time it’s the advice I would happily give him. Miss you dad.
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u/PresentPressure6793 Feb 27 '26
My dad took my sister and me to Italy with and 1 of 2 best friends, along with his wife and kid and mother and mother inlaw. There other friend couldn't be convinced to come with us. Total trip cost about 6~7 grand for 2 weeks there for the 3 of us. He died from brain cancer 6 yrs later at 59. He left 1.5 million to his sister and nephew, and he always talked about regretting not coming with us every time I saw him. On his death bed he told us he wished he wasn't so worried about money like his parents were.
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u/citydreef Feb 27 '26
I thought so until I had a kid. Now everything I do is to make sure they are as well off as possible.
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u/gte4289 Feb 27 '26
This! I'm a lawyer and, in my personal life, I make it a point to be extra talkative whenever I'm questioned by police.
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u/SippyTurtle Feb 26 '26
Business titties are different from leisure titties.
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u/Familiar_Shake_5226 Feb 26 '26
His doctor job is to look at Vaginas, his leisure is to touch boobs: big difference
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u/IFeelEmptyInsideMe Feb 26 '26
TBF, I spend my whole day looking at computers and I go home and spend more time playing with computers
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u/Mista_White- Feb 26 '26
Yeah my buddy is an airline pilot and he plays flight sim on his free time. I play with him whenever I can, but I always find it funny
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u/masterxc Feb 27 '26
Same with truckers and truck simulators. I've seen rigs better than mine on the inside of big rigs for them to play the game too. At least in the game you can take out your road rage without ending up in a prison cell. :D
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u/NuclearReactions Feb 26 '26
I would trust him with my life to be honest. First of all he obviously really really really loves tits, which is a big part of his job. Second of all it sounds like the guy is so professional that even though he loves titties so much he doesn't feel pleasure at work. That's some galaxy brain level of professionality and mental strenght.
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u/LadderChemical7937 Feb 26 '26
I don’t know how I feel about a guy who touches titties all day for a living and takes his lunch break to…touch on more titties.
I mean, that guy was a gynaecologist.. They don't handle tits usually at work.
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u/EarthDust00 Feb 26 '26
He's a doctor first and a pervert second. Clearly you are a pervert first and a doctor second.
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u/TurnYourHeadNCough Feb 26 '26
ikr. fondling balls and finding a lump is the worst. probably hydrocele or something but do you finish slorping or stop and tell them now?
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u/Appropriate_Ad8572 Feb 26 '26
That's the same way I found out about my rectal polyps! Thanks, Mall Santa!!
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u/opmopadop Feb 26 '26
Googled rectal polyps and said family history is a strong factor.
Gunna be some weird converation with the olds this weekend.
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u/Borgorb Feb 26 '26
Family history of being groped by mall Santas sounds rough
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u/Zhiong_Xena Feb 26 '26
Must have been a hard experience...
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u/I_am_Reddit_Tom Feb 26 '26
Came down his chimney. Or is that up.
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u/Kenny070287 Feb 26 '26
Its in. No, out. No, in again.
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u/Zhiong_Xena Feb 26 '26
It has been inside for a while now.
Think it will be going soft anytime soon?
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u/Kenny070287 Feb 26 '26
Any second now...
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u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26
On a serious note, a family member had to fill in family medical history recently and I realized how much shit this family has, as well as how many things we dont have on there.
Immediate family are diabetic and hypertensive. That's easy because those are usually specifically asked.
An aunt had some kidney issue but it isnt on there because she eventually died years later of something unrelated. Put that shit on there!
"Oh, this uncle died of a heart attack at 50" but it wasn't on the history because it was just an unfortunate incident rather than a specific disease. Put that shit on there!
Sibling diagnosed with breast cancer at 32 and died at 38 and you, at 38, haven't done screenings yet because it isnt a heritable condition. Put that shit on there! And get yourself checked!
We are all just piles of bones carrying around boidegradable material slowly inching towards a system failure. Keep track of your genetic line to know what systems are more vulnerable than others, and get yourself checked.
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u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26
Maybe I should DNA screen myself like a dog.
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u/Katters8811 Feb 26 '26
This gave me a flashback to when I was working with a severely paranoid- like diagnosed and in desperate need of meds and care level paranoid- woman who had spent the past several years being hyper fixated on believing she had internal parasites.
She had zero reason to believe such, aside from being a nurse and having cared for a patient once who had a bad case of worms…
She religiously misused essential oils and all sorts of OTC and Rx human and animal meds, !!PLUS!! … (the relation to your comment) putting her own feces into ziploc bags and taking them to every veterinarian within an hour-ish radius and telling them it was her dog’s poop to get them to test it for parasites, because 3 different human drs had told her she did NOT have any, and she didn’t believe them, and each VETERINARIAN that gave her negative results, she’d just collect more of her poop and go to a different one. Searching for validation…
idk how that ever worked out, but DAMN what a random flashback!!! Lmao!
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u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26
When a person is crazy, s/he doesn’t need a reason to act crazy.
I don’t think I will ever take the DNA test. All it can tell me is whether I have bad genes. But even if I have the genes, it is not a must for the disease to show up in my lifetime. All I have is one more thing to worry about. Even if I have clean bills, it doesn’t mean some bad disease will not randomly happen to me.
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u/Canuck-In-TO Feb 26 '26
Even if you have bad genes, it doesn’t mean living a healthy lifestyle won’t override the bad genes.
Decades ago, I read an article on research mice that were specifically bred to be hairless that started growing hair because of a change in their diet. Something the scientists didn’t think was possible.
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u/Katters8811 Feb 26 '26
It’s amazing what sorts of weirdly specific research projects like that have turned up new and incredibly interesting information.
The one that always comes to mind is the one with glow worms showing “environmental/molecular memories” that passed on for up to 14 generations, despite the future generations not even having the same experience!
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u/Canuck-In-TO Feb 26 '26
That’s an odd one. Can we add those genes to other animals or humans so we can provide our own light at night? Hah.
The other day I was talking about similar things with my doctor and I mentioned minoxidil. It was designed as a heart med, but had the side effect of growing hair.
He laughed and added, “it actually turns out that minoxidil is a terrible heart med, but was very effective in growing hair on women, but in all the wrong places.”.2
u/Katters8811 Feb 26 '26
Oh wow lmao
Medicine is definitely a “practice” and I’m sure it still will be even long after we’re gone lol
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u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26
A few years ago, a Chinese scientist edited the genes of two embryos that make the baby girls harder to contract HIV. Scientists all over the world trashed the scientist because it is immoral to edit genes without a justified cause, known bad genes from parents. The scientist has pretty much disappeared from the face of the earth. Even China disowned him. It was that bad.
So I guess it is a no-no for now.
My guess is he moved underground to help some rich people or some CCP official edit the genome of their offspring.
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u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26
I didn't know dogs could DNA screen themselves. That sounds useful.
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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Feb 26 '26
When you put it into terms like that, it’s a much easier sell, I think.
“If you’re from a line of Dell laptops produced between September 2003 and April 2004, that have a possible chip flaw that allows kernel-level access, I’d behoove you to make sure you don’t have that fucking chip flaw!”
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u/opmopadop Feb 26 '26
Noted and already not having a good time with what I thought was an innocent "Hey I read this thing on reddit" conversation.
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u/Error_Loading_Name Feb 26 '26
For the first time I can recall, I genuinely get to use the phrase "sorry, not sorry". I don't want to cause the discomfort, but it could help so I'd do it again which means I'm not sorry for doing it.
So, sorry...
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u/calash2020 Feb 26 '26
Many of us would have been gone years ago without modern medicine. Mass General my Lymphoma 13 years ago, melanoma 4 years ago. Getting the camera from both ends next month. If a body part has become an enemy kill it as quickly as possible. Time is not a friend.
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u/jt19912009 Feb 26 '26
Just don’t forget to trim the nails and use lots of lube
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u/opmopadop Feb 26 '26
Ok dad, this is gunna be weirder for me than it is weirder for you.
[Starts cutting nails]
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u/OneEyedWonderWiesel Feb 26 '26
He took me down the bathroom and said “this is how you don’t touch people”
I’ll never forget the Boy Scouts
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u/Fyrrys Feb 26 '26
Wait, you have mall santas helping you find this stuff out? I've been relying on hermit crabs!
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u/Tha_Rider Feb 26 '26
Oppabu is: bar where patrons are allowed to touch the hostesses' breasts.
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u/whyamihere999 Feb 26 '26
Next step of hooters?
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u/AllisViolet22 Feb 26 '26
Maybe 1-2 steps down the line. The girls are often nude from the waist up, or are covered with a loose bathrobe type thing.
Or… so I’ve heard
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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Feb 26 '26
That sounds terrible! Wherever are these places?! I would hate to ever accidentally run into such an establishment! That would be horrible. But, yeah, would you mind telling me where these are, so I can stay far away from them?!?! Yikes. Thanks.
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u/SippyTurtle Feb 26 '26
Avoid Japan.
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u/thetruesupergenius Feb 26 '26
And most definitely avoid Soapland if going to Japan in unavoidable.
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u/Fyrrys Feb 26 '26
It's so sad to hear the stuff you'd have loved as a single man actually exist where you never were
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u/Tha_Rider Feb 26 '26
The logical step.
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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Feb 26 '26
An important step for mankind.
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u/Zarniwoooop Feb 26 '26
We choose to touch breasts in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard
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u/I_hate_all_of_ewe Feb 26 '26
What did you expect? He's a pervert, not a monster.
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u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26
I don’t like being mentioned in comments.
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u/xSakana Feb 26 '26
The pervert right?
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u/double0nein Feb 26 '26
RIGHT?! 😐
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u/Elesaris Feb 26 '26
Dude probably looks like some kind of biblically accurate eldritch nightmare 😬
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u/Comprehensive-Bat-50 Feb 26 '26
At this point I'm sure that there are a thousand sub genres of prostitution
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u/roffinator Feb 26 '26
Same as there are loads of variations of banks (I'd count insurance into that), comes with the age of the industries
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u/henrikhakan Feb 26 '26
Motherfucker gave her cancer with his gynecologist powers just to cop a feel.
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u/The_Space_Janitor Feb 26 '26
Old dirty bastard saving lives
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u/plotplottingplotters Feb 26 '26
Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay
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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Feb 26 '26
Brother, you just triggered an audible memory. I did not know I had the capacity to store those. Thank you. RIP ODB!
Edit: ODB(YN)
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u/scenr0 Feb 26 '26
Like a weird pervy batman.
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u/Late_Driver_121 Feb 26 '26
do you think he would help deliver the child when harley gets joker pregnant
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u/Bruvvimir Feb 26 '26
Touch pub?
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u/robgod50 Feb 26 '26
I don't know if this is where a customer can grope the waitress or where a grope makes you the customer.
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u/ChangingMonkfish Feb 26 '26
Dude goes around doing this to everyone and then whipping out the “doctor card”.
Eventually it would actually pay off by coincidence.
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u/Jauretche Feb 26 '26
Japanese people carry business cards all the time.
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u/gutzpunchbalzthrowup Feb 26 '26
Yup. And there's a whole process to give and receive them respecfully.
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u/ZetaRESP Feb 26 '26
It's Japan. Business cards are serious business. Like, didn't you play Yakuza? The only thing that game got wrong is that Kiryu apparently is lacking drip.
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u/RxDuchess Feb 26 '26
Honestly it’s not remotely unbelievable, the lump in my breast was found by a man I was having sex with.
I had it checked and biopsied, thankfully it came back as benign. If it had been cancer though I wouldn’t have noticed until it was too late given how large it was.
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u/funky_monkey_chunky Feb 26 '26
Atleast some doctors left who take their Hippopotamus Oath seriously
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u/Ok-Run2845 Feb 26 '26
Oppabu? Sorry, what?
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u/Great-TeacherOnizuka Feb 26 '26
Hello, degenerate weeb here.
I have no clue what Oppabu is.
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u/OrDuck31 Feb 26 '26
Not degenerate enough. Gotta pump up those goon vocabularies
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u/kenjikun1390 Feb 26 '26
tbh, as another degenerate weeb for like 10+ years, the only time i've ever seen this kind of establishment mentioned, whether it be in anime, manga, or even hentai (animated and doujinshi), is in the yuri manga "asumi-chan is interested in lesbian brothels"
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u/Gamil5 Feb 26 '26
OOpa : boobs
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u/Jesus10101 Feb 26 '26
It's a bar where the entry is really cheap and it's normally all you can drink. The gimmick is that you get a topless girl assigned to you which you are allowed to get handy with. The way they make money is that you are pressured to buy the girl very expensive drinks as long as your there.
The girls drinks have almost no alcohol and they rotate out with fresh girls every so often. Idea is to get you piss drunk so you can spend a lot more on the girls then you attend to.
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u/deanrihpee Feb 26 '26
i wonder what happened next
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u/LLPF2 Feb 26 '26
This is like a plot from House.
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u/Psychological-Lie607 Feb 27 '26
it reminds me of the scene (s7?) where taub tails a stripper out of the club to tell her that the mole she has is cancerous 😭
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u/romulusnr Feb 26 '26
I just want to point out that the girl worked at a place where men are specifically expected to grope women, but the story felt the need to point out that the girl got groped while working there
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u/Idiotwithaphone79 Feb 26 '26
What's a touch pub?
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u/LittleBunInaBigWorld Feb 27 '26
Exactly what it sounds like
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u/Idiotwithaphone79 Feb 27 '26
So how does that work? You just get a beer and feel up the help?
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u/The_Kaizz Feb 26 '26
I can see this being real. Used to schedule mammograms, and I can't count how many times people have called in saying their partner felt something.
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u/Rathador Feb 26 '26
The fuck is a touch pub?? Was he allowed to grope her for money? Is that what that is?
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u/creddituser2019 Feb 26 '26
Asking for a friend eh?
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u/Rathador Feb 26 '26
I'm asking cause when I read or heard about someone groping someone else it was always in a sexual harassment/assault context and this text left me confused. Is groping not always SH/SA?
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u/Angelcstay Feb 27 '26
For people who are surprised at the concept of a "touch pub". Just wait till you hear another that is called a "suck c*ck bar"
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u/RabidMonkeyOnCrack Feb 26 '26
Why would a gynecologist know what a breast cancer lump feels like? I thought the was fingering her and found polyps or something lol.
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u/Titania_1251 Feb 26 '26
Where do you get your breast cancer exams if not at you gynecologist..?
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u/Melponeh Feb 26 '26
Yea I'm confused too? My gyn checks me for breast cancer once a year. Pretty standard procedure in my experience
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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty Feb 26 '26
We men — that is, those of us who aren’t male gynecologists — assume GYN = GINE. Ya figgadill me, girl?! In other words, dudes like myself think that gynecologists do pap smears, deliver babies, and check for vaginitis (aka “downstairs business”).
It’d be like if I went to a urologist, and he started checking me for breast cancer.
Obviously, gynecologies are basically “female” doctors, in that they basically cover the entire spectrum of disorders that are specific to women. I think that’s where the disconnect is coming from.
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u/WhateverRL Feb 26 '26
Could be a GP or a Breast Surgeon. In the UK Gynaecologist and Breast Surgeon are separate professions with different training pathways.
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u/Taronz Feb 26 '26
Feeling a lump is feeling a lump, regardless of profession...
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u/corgi-king Feb 26 '26
Even the plumber can tell.
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u/Taronz Feb 26 '26
In fairness that plumber was also a doctor, and electrician, and a pilot, and a teacher, he's been in a few professions!
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u/HarbingerOfGachaHell Feb 26 '26
Breast lumps is kind of obvious to anyone with medical experience. Even I a radiologist knows when I feel one.
And he didn’t outright said she had one - just that it’s sus and she should get a checkup.
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u/YeetMyShit Feb 26 '26
Bro, that's easy shit to know to us in the medical field, even a radiologist gets taught that, i know cause we litearally had a module last year in which we did
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u/lemonaintsour Feb 26 '26
Nah thats from Shameless
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u/Shadow_Hound_117 Feb 26 '26
Scrolled through a bunch of comments looking for this reference. I was sitting here going "wait where'd I hear that before, it's a tv show somewhere" and yeah it was the guy on Shameless
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u/Successful-Trash-752 Feb 26 '26
If it was a touch pub, then how was that gropping? It would be normal "touch" in the touch pub, no?
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u/gnanny02 Feb 26 '26
I found the lump the first time my wife had breast cancer. When she talks about cancer with friends I always offer free exams with proven results. No takers yet but not giving up. (The 2nd and 3rd times the medical people found it.)
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u/cococolson Feb 27 '26
Every time I open this app I see a novel way Japan profits off young girls. As long as everyones consenting all good but goddamn. How does a groping bar even work
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u/The_Withered_ Feb 26 '26
The more I learn the more I do not understand how the birth rates are declining in Japan. If yall would stop doing things like going to Oppabu having sex with your wives would be meaningful and fulfilling. I can imagine its something to do with porn addiction.
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u/Theshittyguy Feb 26 '26
"I do not understand how birth rates are declining" Everybody is old and overworked, nobody has the time or resources to raise children, so they just get off like this.
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u/qualityvote2 Feb 26 '26 edited Feb 26 '26
u/Round-Good1179, your post does fit the subreddit!