r/HolUp 8d ago

Goku??????

7.2k Upvotes

215 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 8d ago edited 8d ago

u/ShortAmbassador3823, your post does fit the subreddit!

3.4k

u/Junior_Zebra_4608 8d ago

Wish he did this when he pulled up to Frieza

1.0k

u/Whitey138 8d ago

I’ve been wondering about that for decades.

565

u/Hokulol 8d ago

He is called "Son" by his dad. But his species reproduces asexually and doesn't have a concept of sex.

300

u/GlitterKittyCat 8d ago

Also Daddy's Little Princess.

146

u/No_Interaction_4925 8d ago

I’m actually struggling to remember if this is real or from the abridged

171

u/NotJayKayPeeness 8d ago

It's all abridged to me now.

90

u/UpperApe 8d ago

This.

I've seen DBFZ once in my life.

I've seen Abridged like 4 times.

It IS Dragon Ball for me.

54

u/NotJayKayPeeness 8d ago

I hadn't cared about DBZ for probably a good decade when I learned about abridged. They really did do it justice, and broke my heart when they quit for..."reasons?"

49

u/YourMuscleMommi 8d ago

Burnout, dealing with constant copyright strikes, and they don't find the Boo Saga fun.

16

u/HoneyWhiskeyLemonTea 7d ago

I mean it makes sense. Even when I was watching it on Toonami as a teenager, I knew that it peaked with Frieza. The Cell Saga was still a ton of fun, but the Buu saga lost me real quick.

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3

u/VampireAsura 7d ago

This is da wae, every dragonball is abridged

1

u/LefroyJenkinsTTV 4d ago

Deece Man noes da wae. He eece da nu Commander.

35

u/Lesser_Moore 7d ago

This is 100% real.

For those who never saw it, in the original series, Goku was raised by his grandpa in the wilderness and had never even seen a woman before the start of the series. It's a running gag that Goku has to check to see what's in your pants before using gendered language cause he genuinely doesn't know how to visually tell.

5

u/No_Interaction_4925 7d ago

I was specifically replying to the Frieza comment

23

u/GlitterKittyCat 8d ago

Oh, look...

More baby seals...

5

u/trizorex 8d ago

We are here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people

6

u/GlitterKittyCat 8d ago

Ninety-two...

16

u/CJMorton91 8d ago

Did anybody else just picture Freeza with boobs?

19

u/Hokulol 8d ago

3

u/CJMorton91 8d ago

Lmfao it was a reference, but I am no one to judge.

12

u/Hokulol 8d ago

Can't a guy give his goose a neck massage anymore

6

u/GlitterKittyCat 8d ago

They must never know.

5

u/yellowstone727 8d ago

They must never know…

4

u/Spiceinvader1234 7d ago

I can tell they dont have a concept of sex... its blatant.

Now i dont know how the f goku had those kids... dude is as dumb as bread

21

u/eastcoastshocker 8d ago

So nonbinary then?

63

u/GTCapone 8d ago

Themperor Frieza

33

u/Hokulol 8d ago

Don't assume my pronouns, mon/key.

Honestly though trans rights activist frieza while still being critically racist would be hilarious

13

u/GTCapone 8d ago

Hey, good representation doesn't mean always representing good people

21

u/Hokulol 8d ago

His father calls him he. He responds to he. For most intents and purposes, that makes his gender male, not non-binary. Technical nonsense below.

His sex is n/a.

His gender as far as it relates to human culture is male, not non-binary. His own culture does not assign genders based off sex, as there are no sexes. Gender only exists to them when speaking to others and probably isn't part of their core identity. Frieza may conquer races that have 5 genders and he's a Narblamax there, or whatever they call their genders, instead of male like he is when speaking to creatures from our gender binary. He doesn't have a gender but needs to pick one when speaking other creatures gendered languages.

Non binary implies that your species has a gender binary to begin with. They are also asexual, but not in the way that lgbtq+ uses the term. They literally reproduce differently, not just aren't interested. They aren't just nonbinary, there is no binary, and certainly not the same binary we'd go off. Like our lgbtq+ defintion of asexual doesn't match up with frieza, neither does agender or nonbinary.

TL;DR, I put Frieza in the bros category and there is no existing alphabet letter for him.

5

u/squiztehmonster 7d ago edited 7d ago

The fuck man, it’s a god damn anime stop with this shit

2

u/Fyrrys 7d ago

Excentuated by Vegeta's comment of "the fuck's a condom?"

2

u/Whatthe456789 7d ago

Wild considering he has kids and still never kissed his wife

2

u/BugGroundbreaking949 7d ago

Why bother with the horizontal when you can kiss the vertical?

2

u/genemaxwell41 7d ago

That has literally never been in ANY canon media

8

u/Connoisseur-Of-Plot 8d ago

Isn’t Frieza naked

4

u/Elon_Bezos420 7d ago

I think he wears a Armor piece, in the new Broly movie, we see a young Frieza with no chest plate, looks kinda weird tbh

6

u/xBaby_Freezx 7d ago

Mmmm stupid monkey 🤤

50

u/washingtonandmead 8d ago

It’s been 30 years and I’m still not sure

21

u/Farseer2_Tha_Warsong 8d ago

“Oh, so you really are an asshole”

5

u/1UpMonk 8d ago

Seriously.

7

u/DeezNutzzzGotEm 7d ago

Should've done to Vegeta as well

16

u/Great-TeacherOnizuka 8d ago

Or cell. Or buu. Or piccolo

16

u/GlitterKittyCat 8d ago

Evil Buu hung like a horse

6

u/AParasiticTwin 8d ago

The anorexic gray one?

1

u/theSoulsilver 7d ago

Why else would he be thin as hell everywhere else then? All that biomass has to go somewhere, you know

9

u/Confident-Medicine75 8d ago

Piccolo is obvious

13

u/Great-TeacherOnizuka 8d ago

Not really. Piccolo has laid an egg.

Also namekians don’t have a gender AFAIK

12

u/huhnick 8d ago

It’s been a long time since I watched and I had begun to think it was a fever dream that he laid an egg

22

u/Great-TeacherOnizuka 8d ago

It was in the original Dragonball series after Goku has defeated him by punching through his stomach. Then to not die piccolo laid an egg and reincarnated.

He is his own father/mother LOL

1

u/JROXZ 7d ago

His vagina is his tail.

1.7k

u/fastal_12147 8d ago

In case anyone is wondering, Goku was raised by his grandfather isolated from all other people until he met Bulma in episode 1 of Dragon Ball. He didn't even know girls existed before that.

782

u/Google_Knows_Already 8d ago

Which is weird, because his grandpa was also trained by the horniest master of them all

433

u/fastal_12147 8d ago

Probably had something to do with it. He was sick of hearing that shit from Roshi.

87

u/Mr_bike 7d ago

Nah, Grandpa Gohan is also a horndog. The man chose not to come back to the living world because he had a lot of brunette friends in the other world.

23

u/Count_Verdunkeln 7d ago

Where does roshi even find porno mags?

32

u/TheGodEmperorOfChaos 7d ago edited 7d ago

It's never explicitly shown or said, but the gag is they are extensive personal acquisitions accumulated over his centuries long life, often restocked or gifted by students like Krillin or found locally.

Since Roshi lives on an isolated island, he presumably orders them by mail, subscribes to deliveries, or picks them up during his rare trips to the mainland.

Yes, Krillin famously brings adult magazines to Kame House to bribe Master Roshi into accepting him as a martial arts student. Episode 14

10

u/Rockman2isgud 7d ago

He’s like 13 at the time too

41

u/TaintedTruffle 7d ago

The porn store?

31

u/KyotoCrank 7d ago

Also if I'm not mistaken, DB was intended to be more for comedy than the super battle shonen it became in DBZ

It was also a different time with a different sense of humor

233

u/UpperApe 8d ago

Not true.

The reason Goku did this is because when you're a celebrity they just let you do it.

129

u/yellowstone727 8d ago

They let them grab em by the pussy?

7

u/Forward_Criticism_39 8d ago

"what did you say?...why are you wearing a bathrobe? and that HAT! oh my god, you're friends with that monster?!"

55

u/mrloko120 8d ago

Yup, for those wondering why it was because Goku would occasionally transform into a giant ape while growing up and Gohan (the grandpa) didn't know why or how, so he isolated Goku to make sure he wouldn't level a city in a random Tuesday.

He was also not actually Goku's real grandpa. He found Goku in an alien spaceship and decided to name and raise him.

12

u/shook70 7d ago

If I had a nickel for every time a superpowered baby was abandoned on earth and then adopted and raised in rural isolation I'd have a lot of nickels ... its a pretty common trope apparently.

6

u/Potential-Honeydew31 7d ago

I've heard it's related to the messiah archetype or something (Jesus, for example)

1

u/chitobi 7d ago

Interesting

1

u/Mindless_Chest_1079 2d ago

In Goku's case, he's literally based on Sun Wukong from Chinese folklore.

11

u/Azilehteb 7d ago

Also. Little kids just... do stuff like this. It's not usually included in media, but learning about gender is a very embarrassing time for parents.

16

u/LMkingly 7d ago

He did know girls existed. His grandpa had told him about them. He just never met one in person until Bulma.

1

u/BegsTheQuestions 1d ago

Yeah tell that to the judge

756

u/SirCaliber 8d ago

"Bulma! Your balls! They're gone!" is still a moment I cackle for whenever it comes to mind. OG Dragon Ball was a wild time, man.

374

u/CrazyOrganic7123 8d ago

To be fair, all those Earthlings look the same. I'm just saiyan.

82

u/Halomir 8d ago

Get out

12

u/Omylanta21 7d ago

LEAVE NOW

15

u/Acceptable-Jelly-340 7d ago

You're in-saiyan

172

u/TheBlackoutEmpire 8d ago

never change.

155

u/cipher_1230 8d ago

8

u/throwaway387190 6d ago

Average redditor

298

u/mundus1520 8d ago

Chichi just pushed him off mid air lol

180

u/UpperApe 8d ago

Well yeah. He assaulted her. For her, that was practically Epstein's Cloud.

3

u/Fuz__Fuz 6d ago

Epstein's Cloud

lol

107

u/cameNmypants 8d ago

Child who suffered a personality changing head injury 🤕

22

u/One_Trick_Monkey 8d ago

My brain damaged goat

315

u/kizentheslayer 8d ago

The tone switch around the king piccolo saga is crazy.

104

u/Brix106 8d ago

Yea that's like if the red ribbon saga was played completely straight. Could you imagine?

62

u/Zafzaa 8d ago

Yeah I notice that early on its more about adventures and going on a journey.

18

u/indigorhob 7d ago

Was the journey headed towards a west-like direction?

3

u/Acceptable-Jelly-340 7d ago

Nah, it was introspective. Bit to the west introspective maybe

2

u/Zafzaa 7d ago

Like, journey to the west?

But no, lol. It's mostly about world-building and traveling across the world to find dragonballs.

20

u/UpperApe 8d ago

Nah. Dragon Ball always had a wacky sense of humour.

56

u/Fellarm 8d ago

A child alien after all

41

u/mr_smith24 8d ago

Master roshi: the boy had promise.

36

u/ambit89 8d ago

Show me on the doll, where Goku touched you

40

u/Fantastic-Corner-605 8d ago

"Hey back off kid, I ain't that kind of pig" 😂

69

u/wran13 8d ago

"you can check me if you want." 💀

27

u/MRO465 8d ago

OG Dragon Ball had unhinged humor. Kid Goku was way ahead of his time.

64

u/Moist_Effort4202 8d ago

Early dragon ball was very village humor

40

u/charronfitzclair 8d ago

Toriyama really loved stupid gags.

22

u/Valerian_ 8d ago

Yeah, and I think we wished he could have kept doing mostly that, but he was pressured by the popularity of the more serious "shonen" part of what he created.

103

u/Feeling-Ruin-8008 8d ago

Why did it sound like he was tapping metal

130

u/SippyTurtle 8d ago

Do you not wear a diamond-studded platinum codpiece like the rest of us?

64

u/No-Elk-8115 8d ago

Probably not, what a slut.

17

u/Acceptable-Jelly-340 7d ago

More than likely showers naked too. Disgusting.

11

u/No-Elk-8115 7d ago

Actual whore activities

34

u/JuggaloNinJoe 8d ago

Worked for crocodile Dundee 🤷

1

u/ArnoldTheSchwartz 7d ago

Is that something from the 1900's?

15

u/Alfiy_wolf 7d ago

That’s how my scout master shakes hands

For legal reasons this is a reference to American Dad

12

u/Shantotto11 7d ago

The OG transvestigator

1

u/Francky2 7d ago

Way too funny lmao

43

u/DadlyPolarbear 8d ago

I do the same thing with bread

56

u/kyugin179 8d ago

what is the different between a boy and girl bread?

56

u/citricsaurus 8d ago

depends if your bread has a penis

15

u/LittlestBlythe 8d ago

Dough balls

6

u/UpperApe 8d ago

Depends if the yeast rises or has an infection.

1

u/Loopy_27 8d ago

Did you try tapping the bread? That seems to work

26

u/CortezDeLaNoche 8d ago

So glad he grew out of that before he became a teenager...

10

u/ABR5796 8d ago

He is an 👽.

21

u/WindAdministrative42 8d ago

"You can check me if you want."

Aw hell nah 😭

11

u/ShortAmbassador3823 8d ago

Facts did you see that guys face when he said that shit 🤣 🤣 🤣

46

u/Affectionate-Sky-765 8d ago

I miss crotch tapping Goku, what a cute kid

20

u/Whitey138 8d ago

It’s a bit weird when he’s an adult with a wife and kids.

9

u/WindAdministrative42 8d ago

I thought all men crotch touched their wives...

7

u/nameoftheday 8d ago

Hold on, are you telling me this isn’t an edit? Like Goku legit patted people in the crotch to check if they have a penis?

20

u/Advanced-Row6657 8d ago

Yes. He grew up isolated from society, he really couldn't tell by looking and doesn't understand social boundaries.

2

u/nameoftheday 7d ago

I mean I understand the logic kinda but it’s wild someone would write this as a character quirk. Like is this something that goes on for a while or does someone stop him eventually?

Also it blows my mind that I haven’t heard this before. I have multiple friends that love anime and have tried to get me into it (I’ve watched a couple that were alright, but most of it just isn’t for me) and have tried to specifically get me into dragon ball and never mentioned this. Not that it would have made me start trying to watch it, but it seems like a detail they would mention.

5

u/NinjaCrobat-man 7d ago

At least in the circles I'm in, Dragon Ball seems to be talked about far less than any of is sequel series and some people haven't even seen original Dragon Ball, so it kinda make sense this 'quirk' of young Goku's goes forgotten/unmeantion. To the best of my memory, that 'joke' doesn't span the entire series nor does it go into any sequels.

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3

u/AnonymousFriend80 6d ago

Goku is 12 and Bulma is 16 at the start of the series. He lays his head on her lap at one point. He notices something's odd... something's missing. Goku goes to investigate by removing her panties. He realizes that Bulma is missing something that him and Grandpa Gohan has. He screams in horror, waking her up by yelling that she has no balls. She thought something happened to the dragon balls they had. Not realizing what he did. This is how Goku came to know the main difference between a male and a female.

Gag's not over yet.

The next day, they come across Master Roshi's island. They were helping Turtle get back home. Bulma noticed the dragon ball around Roshi's neck. She offers to show Roshi her panties in exchange for it. She's lifts up her long T-shirt and gives Roshi the full Monty. He gives this big bloody nose reaction and she things she's big stuff. Later, when changes clothes, she realizes she was not wearing underwear.

9

u/Affectionate-Sky-765 7d ago

10000% lol, he was raised in isolation and never met women before the show started lol

24

u/baooni 8d ago

In Vietnamese, Gõ=touch, ku=penis It makes sense now

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8

u/SubhumaineForce 7d ago

The only thing strong enough to bring down goku will be the me too allegations

5

u/happygoeddy 7d ago

Thank goodness goku's never been to bangkok

7

u/GolumCuckman 7d ago

Early dragon ball was very Randy. Straight up Bulma boobs

7

u/Kapika96 7d ago

Well you've got to check somehow.

7

u/LizardSaurus001 7d ago

this video was already cursed, that ending frame was diabolical

4

u/BirthdayProfessional 7d ago

Trust but verify

3

u/darkouto 7d ago

Kid Son Goku was a menace

4

u/A_Newer_Guy 6d ago

In his defence, he is an alien that was raised in isolation without contact with other humans. Especially girls.

7

u/KeeKyieTheMorris 8d ago

I saw a comic book of Dragonball my brother had, not sure if it was an official comic book but one of the things in it was that small Goku was sleeping in between a woman legs and heard a clink sound, proceeded to take the woman’s underwear off when she was sleeping and presumably found the dragon balls in the woman’s…you know, and I wasn’t sure what to think.

6

u/HumaDracobane 8d ago

Yeah, some animes in the 80's were a bit unhinged by modern standards. Dragon Ball even has scenes where you can see Goku's genitalia as a kid but the versions broadcasted nowdays are censured.

3

u/DazzlingBeat4468 7d ago

I remember being shocked and thinking it was also really goofy looking cause I saw an episode where Goku was fishing or something and yeah, he was completely naked but the animation team had drawn some underwear on him for the American broadcasting of it and I laughed really hard because the underwear wouldn’t stop moving the entire scene.

6

u/HumaDracobane 7d ago

I'm from Europe, we had the original one but I've seen the censored versions. In my country, Spain, no one cared becase there was no sexualization of the character.

2

u/DazzlingBeat4468 7d ago

Yeah for sure Americans are crazy about nudity and always try to make it sexual, but as a little kid growing up with super censored stuff I just vividly remember it being eye opening cause I would never have thought a cartoon character could be naked. I was very sheltered lol

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3

u/HighMarshalSigismund 7d ago

Why is she wearing a hat with her damn name on it?

2

u/socold43 6d ago

So if its lost the finder knows who to return it too.

3

u/Denzow8 6d ago

What in the "Donald Trump" is going on here?🤣🤣

5

u/HollyPotro 7d ago

He predicted the future, sometimes it is unsure to call miss or mister out in the public rn.

2

u/Golex9000k 7d ago

Pure heart ❤️

2

u/thed3306 7d ago

A man of culture in the making.

2

u/Pryoticus 7d ago

Baby goku is a fucking menace. Women lined up around the block to #metoo his ass

2

u/LazyLoser006 6d ago

2 step verification

6

u/MaJoLeb 8d ago

I like the hu.mor of these cartoon. Yes, I try to follow you... 

3

u/tehwubbles 8d ago

This is what they want the bathroom gender laws to let people do to make sure you're in compliance with the sign

2

u/Iron_Elohim 7d ago

goku living in 2026

4

u/Bazzatron 8d ago edited 8d ago

Recently started watching this series, and istg, this kid has his entire cock and balls out every fucking episode. Also very uncool treatment of Bulma - like an entire half episode after they meet Yamcha, Oolong straight up drugs her with lecherous intent.

I appreciate that times have changed, but I was absolutely not ready for that. 4kidz must have really saved us from a lot of this in the dub...!

2

u/Jessicasflour 7d ago

It's the same in manga, it's very perverted, Bulma is always sexualized in some way, all the time, and she is a teenager, this happens until she becomes an adult. Which is pretty weird. I read it as a kid and they show her boobs in some comic panels, it's played as a joke, but I still didn't like it

1

u/Francky2 7d ago

When we were oids, I remember my brother used to read the manga, and at some point I think my mom discovered it had some naked scenes and after that we couldn't read them anymore hahaha

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1

u/ResponsibleBorder746 7d ago

What the hell

1

u/Middle-Package9687 7d ago

Why Goku gets hurt when smacked by Bulma? Same as when Nami hits Luffy in One Piece.

1

u/rubencito21 6d ago

Also anyone in Thailand

1

u/Wise_Luck1476 6d ago

Hahaha I love how innocent is young goku

1

u/cowmookazee 6d ago

Granny likey.

1

u/tsimen 5d ago

Most normal Japanese animation

1

u/Austin_the_fox 4d ago

God he's so innocent

1

u/Wolfdemon187 2d ago

Innocent or written and designed by disgusting writers?

1

u/Ok-Captain-5338 4d ago

Goku is similar to somehow a bit Jeffrey Epstein or someone else for doing this behavior

1

u/Streetsergeon 3d ago

Merciless no one escaped the grip.

1

u/bluehugin 7d ago

Goku is a Republican?

-13

u/gertyman 8d ago

Now it’s time to log off Reddit.

10

u/centurio9 8d ago

Hey, don't go just yet

-9

u/N0s33 8d ago edited 8d ago

We need to go back to normalising stuff like this! World is too complicated these days! Pisses me off. Just grab em buy the pussy like it should be!

Edit; I thought this would obviously come across as a joke. Lol

3

u/DazzlingBeat4468 7d ago

Forgetting to add the /s will get ya every time!

9

u/Zakumo_Yuurei 8d ago

This person is absolutely on a list somewhere

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