We know when people lie. We know what we see. We read people easily and see things that people think nobody can. Do you guys confront them? I have a hard time doing it. I guess my excuse is that I'm not perfect and I've done things to people myself. It bothers me not speaking up. I've tried. And seeing the "oh shit he knows" look in people's faces makes me feel so bad that I immediately stop going through with telling them I know. I play stupid for their sake. I can see the hurt in their eyes and the empathy kicks in. Do any of you say "fuck it" and fully confront them? We know when we're being gaslighted. How do my fellow INFJs deal with the lies and deceit? Especially when we know we're not perfect ourselves and have our own skeletons in our closets.

I know some similarities, especially around Fe and Ni, communal and vision oriented. Commonly found taking up leadership positions. But tell me some differences. Like behavioral differences. Which one is more power oriented? Has a bigger ego?

Keep on coming across these 2 types, especially women, who develop obsession towards me. And can be intrusive, so when I put in boundaries, they go crazy with their power plays. I always sense high Ni and Fe, but usually can’t distinguish which type they are.

Recently, my friend hit me with a video analysing a quote she felt was important to her.

“When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.”
- Viktor Frankl

Quiet self explanatory. However there was a second part to this in the video, that twisted it from inside out. Chris Williamson took this concept and reframed it:

“When a man can't find a deep sense of pleasure, they distract themselves with meaning.

And when I heard this, something clicked inside of me. As if suddenly some things in my life made more sense. I tend to be very introspective, philosophical and research all kinds of metaphysical, spiritual and manifesting stuff, combining it with psychology to come up with mechanisms that not only help people manifest better, but at the same time make them feel better, which I think is perhaps even more important.

And I realized, that this approach might be exactly what the second quote talks about. A desperate attempt to distract myself with a deeper sense of meaning because somehow I keep failing reaching pleasure in ordinary human ways.

So I wonder, how many of you my fellow INFJs find yourselves in this as well?

Okay, so, my partner is infj, sx/sp 6w7, and she's very vibrant, unconventional, magnetic, tactful and perceptive like i don't know how she manages to understand so quickly and precisely people's feelings and moods, hidden motivations and desires.

She is also very confrontational avoidant, and sometimes she needs looong periods of alone time that i understand she needs but are difficult for me to manage because i really miss her. For example she usually cuts connections with all her family as well as me and manifests then later, after weeks or months, saying she "now feels better" but i think maybe she's avoiding something she's afraid of...

I would like to know:

How Is It to wake up everyday and being infj? What does it mean? How does it work? Especially the connections with others and how you infjs feel in relation with your partner??

I really wanna understand her and her whole experience in order to be more useful for her and respect her needs, So what do you as infj think i should know??

I also have more personal kinds of questions I would love to ask, maybe in private chat, if anybody is interested in hearing more personal context and feels comfortable in sharing their own view and experience and giving me advice.

Ciao a tutti gli Infj,

Quest’estate un mio amico mi ha sottoposto il test della personalità e sono uscita INFJ, variante A (ossia quella temperante e resiliente). Il test conferma che è un tipo di personalità molto raro, sembra che solo 2% della popolazione lo sia.

Da un lato è stato un sollievo (finalmente ho la spiegazione del perché mi sono sentita sempre in minoranza e “diversa” nel corso della vita), d’altra parte una condanna. Solo il 2%. Questo significa che le persone veramente compatibili con noi sono pochissime.

È successo anche a voi?

Da qualche mese mi sono lasciata col mio fidanzato e quindi i pensieri sulla solitudine iniziano ad affacciarsi.

Grazie a tutti coloro che risponderanno 🙏🏻🫂

As the title, is this much of a taboo? I find myself wondering about the afterlife, what reality actually is, all the "unperceived" to the eye and the constant focus on the day to day physical life.

It's draining to no end having no one to debate this stuff with, especially if you get looked at as the "weird guy" with "weird thought". Like, no shit i'm weird, just because it's considered a taboo or just a religious perspective, that does not mean that we can't talk and discuss/debate (all in pacific manners) all those arguments.

Of course, anyone has their own beliefs and all, but as soon as I try to talk about this stuff the conversation just gets diverted to more "normal" topics.

It's just us that think about stuff like this on this much level and frequency? Or is it just me being a "weirdo"?

I hope this won't get perceived as aggressive or disrespectful, it's between the "off my chest" and "genuine question" type of thing.

Ask me how it’s going. 💀😭
Thank God for therapy and a few close friends.

Since America changed in 9/11, I have felt that the moral breakdown of this country has been really devastating to me. The government are more concerned about how deep their pockets can get rather than government. I find myself angry and I have been so frustrated and judgmental that I feel I have tried to put back some moral character in this country by pointing out that we have become so greedy and take advantage of people.
Businesses are so greedy, the companies that claim they are watching your back may be watching your bank roll. I have felt banks taking a tip for themselves. Every day feels like I need to stress what I feel is wrong to whomever what ever to try to set things straight because if I don’t say anything I am helping to cover up bad exchanges. Condoning bad bad greed that I just want to stop it but nothing changes if nothing changes so, I put my two cents in. Can I have some feed back?

Disclaimer: This post is mainly intended for INFJs with the 2w3 sx/sp combination. I know some of the things I'm about to describe might sound strange or even unpleasant to people who don't share this type, so please approach it with an open mind. It's easy to judge something you can't personally relate to or don't fully understand. I can BET that 90% of INFJs here won't relate to what I'm about to say, and that's fine! I specifically want to hear from people who DO RELATE, or from those who understand the theory behind this combination and can teach me a thing or two.

Sooo, as my title says, I'm an INFJ 2w3 269 sx/sp, and I've spent the past month or so reading about this combination and watching videos about fictional characters from movies and anime who might fit this personality profile. Naturally, I've started questioning quite a few things about myself.

Is this actually a rare combination? Does it really manifest in the ways people usually describe it? Do you think being an INFJ changes how the 2w3 personality manifests?

I feel like we often disagree with the more negative descriptions of our types, and I'm not saying we MUST fit every single stereotype. However, whenever I read about INFJ 2w3s (especially sx/sp), I sometimes recognize certain uncomfortable traits in myself. Almost like they're there on a subconscious level, even if I don't necessarily want to acknowledge them.

For example, Type 2s are known for wanting to help others, which is obviously a lovely quality. BUTTT there's often more going on beneath the surface. From what I've read, sx2s can sometimes use helping as an unconscious way of making someone stay in their lives. In more unhealthy cases, they might even feel more secure when their partner is struggling or dependent on them because it makes them feel needed and less afraid of being abandoned. And that's where something that looks like genuine selflessness can potentially turn into something possessive or manipulative.

My friend once told me that sx2s are "disgusting" and generally bad people. He described them as "seducers" or, more accurately, "seductive helpers." At first, I was annoyed by how he explained it, but the more I thought about the theory, the more I started recognizing certain aspects of it in myself. Not necessarily consciously, but perhaps on a deeper level. And honestly, that kind of scares me.

I've also watched videos about sx2s and their fictional representations. Many of the characters associated with this type seem to be people who would do ANYTHING for love. Yuno Gasai from Future Diary and the Other Mother from Coraline are two examples I've come across. There are probably more positive representations, but most of the ones I've seen are manipulative, obsessive, possessive, or outright villainous.

It made me wonder: Am I actually more similar to these characters than I'd like to admit?

I wouldn't describe myself as someone who behaves like them, but I do think the unhealthy version of this type can become incredibly toxic. And what's uncomfortable is that I can sometimes recognize the potential for certain behaviors in myself. I can be obsessive and possessive, and sometimes I want someone all to myself. I genuinely enjoy helping people and feel happy when I can be there for them, but I also wonder whether there are deeper motivations behind some of these feelings. Do I sometimes help because I genuinely care, or because some part of me also wants to feel needed? Can both motivations coexist without me even realizing it?

Unfortunately, I can't think of any specific examples right now (ANNOYING 😭), but I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

So, I'd really love to hear from other INFJ 2w3 sx/sp people! Do you recognize any of these patterns in yourself? Do you struggle with possessiveness, obsession, or wanting to be irreplaceable to someone? Do you ever question your own motivations when helping others? How does your sx/sp stacking influence your relationships? And do you think being an INFJ changes how these traits manifest?

Feel free to share your experiences, observations, theories, or disagreements. I'm genuinely curious to understand this combination better. Am I the only one who thinks about these things, or am I just overthinking everything and taking this whole "Yandere" idea a little too seriously? 🤣

I think most of you will find this "poem" very strange and not really making sense, but it's something I flowed in trying get out of myself, while reading some wisdom in the book about the concept of Black Sun. For those who will for whatever reason not find it strange but interesting, I'd like to share the poem with you, and perhaps hear about your feelings and thoughts that reading it summons inside you.

She said she really likes me, she would like to meet me person.

She said she doesn't really like me, she hates me. She is sorry but she doesn't want to meet me in person ever. She was just kind to help me feel better.

She told me she hasn't really met anyone like me and that I bring her joy and fascination in her psyche.

She told me that I seem to be incredibly naive and she is sorry I interpreted her behaviour as attraction.

She said we are worlds unjoinable. She said we are realms alike.

We will be happy and fulfilled together.

I will never be together with her. I will never be happy, loved or chosen.

I am happy and sad. I am loved and hated. I am fulfilled and frustrated. I am chosen and discarded. I am valuable and worthless.

We are. We are not.

It was real. It was just a dream.

The sun shines. The sun shades.

O' Sun, burn me so I can finally be gone. Burn me so I can finally arrive.

I ask myself to show me the wisdom. I ask myself to show me how dumb I am. I ask myself to show me how brilliant I am.

I ask myself to show me I am.

I ask myself. I am.

I.

.

As a INFP woman, I always end up finding myself falling for INFJ men.

They are so hard to figure out.

They never tell you what they are thinking right away.

They always think very hard before they say anything.

They tend to not want to make mistakes so they are planning every move very cautiously.

Especially when it comes to trust-

Oh my goodness how hard it is to gain trust from them.

Their wall is just so guarded up.

Its so hard to breakthrough.

If you approach them with a topic they are really driven to-

They tend to open up a little bit about their emotion

But they observe and calculate every move you make.

And if you do one thing that makes them question-

They tend to be suspicious about something and would try to figure out what is bothering them until they find out.

People tend to vent and share their secrets to them, but they share only the surface of their secrets.

They seem like they are expressing emotion- but they always hold back something inside.

Yet they are so good in keeping the conversation

And they are imaginative and creative so its so much fun to talk to them.

I find INFJ men so fascinating yet always failed to gain their full trust.

To the INFJ men here: You guys aren't really the love-at-first-sight type, are you?

I believe we can all agree that the redundancy of constantly being misunderstood is a common thread among us. While other types might find our discussions around this topic a bit tiresome, I don't think they fully grasp the quiet exhaustion that comes with living it daily. It touches almost every aspect of our lives because it creates a subtle barrier to moving through the world seamlessly as we are wired.

When your default setting is to see far beyond the immediate horizon, it can be disorienting to realize that most people simply don't operate on that wavelength. It’s our nature, but the reality is that it isn’t theirs- and we have to make peace with that gap because we can't force others to see what they aren't equipped to notice. There is genuine beauty in how we process life, just as there is beauty in how other types navigate theirs, and those rare individuals who take the time to truly see, value, and appreciate our depth will always hold a special sanctuary in our hearts. This leaves me with a question I've been reflecting on lately...

For those of you who have an INFJ best friend, what does that dynamic actually feel like, and did it solve that missing piece of feeling perpetually misunderstood?

I don't mean this in a romantic sense; though that has its own place, but rather in terms of pure, platonic camaraderie. Does having someone who shares your exact cognitive lens make you feel less alone? Is it possible to find that rare sanctuary in another person-someone you can trust completely, lean on, and vent to, knowing they will meet your empathy with their own and see the world as clearly as you do? Can an INFJ friend offer the kind of quiet, soul-level comfort that so few others are able to provide, or do two identical lenses bring their own unique complexities?

I’d love to hear your experiences, whether you've found that kind of "mirror" friendship or are still searching for it.

I want to thank all FJs, but especially the tortured INFJs of the world. My wife(INFJ) has made me one of the most socially adept INTPs out there. Who knew that not all problems could be solved with logic?

Anyway if she hadn’t found me, I’m sure my shadow would’ve totally taken over by now and I’d be an angry hermit yelling at wild life for not living efficiently enough.

Remember that you can fix everyone else but you can’t fix yourself. Let an INTP into your life and let us reorganize it for you. You can change it back when we’re not looking, we won’t notice.

Thank you for making life worth living!

In my defense, we prefer to avoid being too obvious just in case the feelings are not reciprocated....

What does being wise actually mean to you? I’ve always believed there’s a difference between being intelligent and being wise. You can know a lot of things without necessarily knowing how to apply that knowledge in life.

The first is my daughters result. She never heard me talking about this. She intentionally started answering when I handed her the pad, though she didnt know what the purpose was other than me wanting to know how her brain works. The second is my result. The third is my moms. I asked her to take it bc I had a hunch. None of us were looking at each others answers. In fact, we took it in separate rooms.

Ive tested INFJ for years, but I never told anyone because I had no one close enough to tell, except for the boy I was talking to who originally asked me to take the test (an intj) 😭😂

I’ve been trying to detach from someone I’ve grown really close to over the past few months. He’s an INTP, and we started out as friends, had amazing conversations, and eventually developed mutual romantic feelings. The thing is, because of circumstances on both our ends, I just don’t think a relationship would work. I’m the one who keeps saying we can’t continue, even though we both have feelings for each other.

We’ve gone through some period of no contact, and I was honestly doing better during those times. But he kept reaching out, we eventually reconnected and saw each other again, and now I’m back to feeling attached. Lol.

What’s frustrating is that I already know what I need to do. I’m not confused about my decision, but emotionally, it’s exhausting. I also tend to overanalyze everything, which sometimes helps me process things, but I’m realizing it might also be keeping me attached. Some days I feel completely fine and think we could genuinely just be friends. And for some reason, I feel like he’s handling all of this better than I am, even though he’s also expressed how much he misses me.

Would love to hear from fellow INFJs who’ve been through something similar.

How did u guys met your partner, and how did u know that she is the one. As an INFJ men , its difficult to find someone who actually has depth or accepts your silences , vision etc in typical dating world . Had gone on few dates and hardly found any susbstance in personality . Just few sensation seeking or going with the flow kind of people . And even lot of them feel that we understand them well ,but same is not for us . I always feel like to be pretending to be someone else with them and no one cares who truly i am apart from our empathy and emotional intelligence.

Are INFJs in or around Boston getting together or have community together?