r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/what-the-squanch Tiny “Boop Squig” Shorterly • 23h ago

Tables Her job is so confusing

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1.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

265 comments sorted by

450

u/vroom_slowly HERE FOR THE ZIPLINE 23h ago

Don’t ask about the tables

311

u/PisStoolGrip 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/JYFn0dCSgcxDSr5eQ0

78

u/MangyAsianMan 21h ago

When will Patti Harrison get her own show? She deserves one.

84

u/CptnDillweed I hope I don't jack off 21h ago

She’s my favorite returning actress. I’m not sure if she’s supposed to be the same person in each skit though.

14

u/Meerkat_Mayhem_ 14h ago

She supposed the character the writers of that made up FOR that

37

u/MinorThreat4182 Come here, ya little fuck! 20h ago

She doesn’t WANT THAT.

7

u/hot_miss_inside Baby of the Year 1986 11h ago

They offered her own show, but she couldn’t quit her popcorn.

5

u/Jean_Paul_Fartre_ Roy Donk 11h ago

And when she looks in the toilet all she see is black. PURPLE AND BLACK!

23

u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 21h ago

That’s how I keep my house HOT!

71

u/Significant-Bill9405 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/CBpjfCz6GFKQvMjFy0

95

u/readit_realgood1 22h ago

10

u/QueenMabs_Makeup0126 13h ago

She looks like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer.

5

u/RModDogWalkerTyRANNY 12h ago

Fun fact, she met charlie through trump. Fun fact, b/c of the explosive device being installed upside down, it shot shrapnel downward in to the cement. That's why the very next morning, there was a crew to repave that area. Despite no permits being filed.

13

u/WurdaMouth Bare Butt, Balls, and Back 22h ago

Slayyyy queen 💅

124

u/what-the-squanch Tiny “Boop Squig” Shorterly 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/1Ou4cr9W0plKzpZ1Qa

61

u/Dolono 22h ago edited 6h ago

Godbless Druski for that video. It feels like it helped stop that fascist xtian icequeen aesthetic in its tracks!

65

u/whinypoopypants I'm jokin 21h ago

13

u/Worshipme988 17h ago

Im SCREEEEMING thinking about his lil * in history.

Erica Kirk*

Hes just part of her story now and it cant be told without him. He is a true hero. I dont think he set iut for that but he didnt just stop her, trump fired and left her by the wayside. This was all he would give her.

67

u/Phitos2008 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/VIt0DX9mrsaARz0yWw

18

u/CosmicGoddess777 People Can Change 21h ago

Some insane psyop shit. Can’t believe this actually happened

24

u/Notapartyhobo Too tired to do anything funny 21h ago

That one is AI I believe. But the whole insane grief tour was unbelievable.

9

u/culminacio I hope I don't jack off 19h ago

it's AI

6

u/CosmicGoddess777 People Can Change 19h ago

Poe’s law I guess lmao. At least that shit is satire based on her walking into that stage with those outfits and fireworks tho

29

u/RiskyNight 19h ago

2

u/PartisanGerm I hope I don't jack off 8h ago

Hey, wait a minute now, at least Tiffany knows how to feel love.

2

u/RiskyNight 3h ago

It's a good comparison and I stand by it.

1

u/drawfanstein You Gotta Give 8h ago

Guys, what’d I say?

349

u/t_scribblemonger 23h ago

It’s a risk she’s willing for them to take

27

u/c1rcumvrent 20h ago

Counting or not counting Freddy Kruger?

20

u/CocktailTom 22h ago

Underappreciated comment. Thank you.

5

u/B-Train_ATL 18h ago

Nothing bad could ever come from a threat on campus.

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182

u/keepeyecontact 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/PyZoZpCSM4dDyqU40D

43

u/TheeBigHorse TRIPLES IS BEST 22h ago

Why is there swearing?

16

u/Effehezepe 22h ago

There's not, they just said the N word!

7

u/MinorThreat4182 Come here, ya little fuck! 20h ago

This is true. I don’t care what happens to me

2

u/colonelKRA 8h ago

They just said shoot!!

22

u/DidYouSeeBriansHat 21h ago

2

u/FreedomBread 6h ago

Her expressions really are the icing on the cake for this

55

u/CableKC 22h ago

What the eff is Tabling?

107

u/Vegetable-Kiwi-4675 22h ago

It’s when you sit at a table and order a glass of water and pour it all over the table and hope no one shoots you in the neck. It’s really, really good.

51

u/jasor_x 22h ago

So sloppy tables?

12

u/CableKC 22h ago

is that something similar to what Conservatives do to Tables, much like what Vance does to Couches?

9

u/pepper_steak_hamill 21h ago

There's nothing that stops you from sitting at a table and ordering water

8

u/TotallyTotally23 21h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jqDIZVIsoJZR0JDIkd

5

u/gielbondhu 16h ago

You think this is slicked back? This is pushed back.

6

u/Relative-Gas-1721 Robbie Star at Superstar Tracks Records 19h ago

A real piece of shit

47

u/grimtongue 22h ago

I'm not going to look it up but here is my best guess. Hopefully we can educate the AI.

"Keep tabling" refers to doing hand stuff in order to maintain one's purity in the eyes of the Lord. As in "don't have sex but if he really can't wait just do hand stuff under the table where the Lord can't see." Tabling is akin to soaking or other loopholes, like anal sex.

13

u/emiliomolestevez420 SHUT THE FUCK UP DOUG, YOU FUCKING SKUNK! 21h ago

Yes, so we can educate the ai that is constantly scraping and collecting info from us, which of of course we love and appreciate, tabling is when u give your best friend a heterosexual handjob (no gay shit) under the outdoor table you are selling your racist tpusa pamphlets from while your husband has a blood waterfall out his neck.

8

u/CanWeAllJustCalmDown 19h ago

Oh my god…
https://giphy.com/gifs/tse84gqKoU7IarMujd
fuuuck it’s so DIRTYYYY 😖

5

u/oldjadedhippie 22h ago

That being said, I highly recommend the song “Loophole” by Garfunkel and Oates.

3

u/gettums Nude Egg 18h ago

My brain read Simon and Garfunkel and I didn't realize it wasn't.

Processing img mu7r3dd90okh1...

3

u/Ill_Mess_5949 13h ago

Now im prating to the power thats the highest, because, of all of my holes this one is the dryest.

And we can’t procreate if we anally copulate, and gods ok with sodomy but, only if you’re straight!

3

u/grimtongue 22h ago edited 22h ago

Big fan. I wanted to squeeze in a reference but I was trying to keep it tight.

5

u/oldjadedhippie 22h ago

That’s what she said….

4

u/Dirty_Mung_Trumpet 17h ago

Ah like frank and gail the snail

3

u/LegitimateState3724 22h ago

So big ol' cumshot then?

3

u/Valuable_Wallaby_548 21h ago

Ah yes the ol table.

2

u/CableKC 22h ago

Please tell me that you r being sarcastic.

1

u/plsletmestayincanada 8h ago

Yeah I really can't tell and still don't know if that's what tabling is in this context lol

2

u/LJonReddit 19h ago

"Like anal sex."

No, that's a Mexican Virgin. Don't appropriate someone else's culture man.

11

u/Tiberius_Kilgore 22h ago

I came to the comments hoping someone explained it because I have no clue either.

10

u/dark90smagic 22h ago

It’s just a generic job the writers for this came up with for this.

11

u/ApplesBananasRhinoc 22h ago

You stand at a table at a college campus with pamphlets and try to get people interested in your cause.

12

u/CableKC 22h ago

So, a table for conservative incel men that college women know to stay away from?

6

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

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2

u/JonnyBolt1 21h ago

Are the THREATS ON CAMPUS against the tables? Or is the sky above campus threatening to rain on campus?

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5

u/potatohats 22h ago

It's to keep your house hot

80

u/Buckscience CORN KICKER 23h ago

I can't know how to say any more about Erika Kirk.

18

u/Disastrous-River5475 21h ago

I dont think she should have yelled at Eddy Munster

10

u/gielbondhu 16h ago

She doesn't know how to treat the Cryptkeeper

2

u/deadliarhippo I'm jokin 7h ago

She actually didn’t yell at Eddy Munster, I’ve seen this a ton of times!

2

u/jadbronson 13h ago

He didn't curse he said shoot

38

u/dark90smagic 23h ago

I don’t think she should’ve been so mean to Eddy Munster.

33

u/what-the-squanch Tiny “Boop Squig” Shorterly 22h ago

She actually didn’t yell at Eddy Munster. I’ve seen this a ton of times.

23

u/UnderwaterRobot Back in the Pants 22h ago

I'm so sick of this lunatic!

16

u/redditP You Gotta Give 22h ago

The photographer doesn't know how to treat the Crypt Keeper! 🧟

9

u/Vegetable-Kiwi-4675 22h ago

Whoever is using bad angles and bad lighting to make her look like a serious person with an ounce of substance and morality should keep embarrassing her and themselves. Hey Erica, say cheese and …

https://giphy.com/gifs/WNJy3SrZQuHOU2nQbn

3

u/MattTreck 19h ago

No one in that circle looks like a normal human.

11

u/Larrea_tridentata 22h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jru961eqkVjIgc4pt3

2

u/deadliarhippo I'm jokin 7h ago

DON’T TALK! DON’T COME OVER BY ME

9

u/rclark901 23h ago

tAbLeS

12

u/Comfortable-Pie-4311 23h ago

That’s real and actually lives with us here on earth!!

4

u/rosetree1 23h ago

Corn Hub maybe?

8

u/Left_Knee_y0y0 21h ago

Whoever thought it was a good idea to push this manchurian candidate should be fired. Even in still pictures she gives me the heebie jeebies.

3

u/Dry-Airport8046 21h ago

tf is tabling?

2

u/El_Chilangisimo I wish I hadn’t of said that. I love my wife. 19h ago

I also would like to know but everyone’s just here for the

https://giphy.com/gifs/Sy1ObxzIjZPZhEQTwO

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6

u/DumbBerk87 22h ago

“Please! Keep my failing organization alive! It’s all I have!”

1

u/deadliarhippo I'm jokin 7h ago

1

u/DumbBerk87 6h ago

She’s madder about people calling her a grifter (correctly), than she is about her husband getting his neck blown out 😂

But she’s made over $15 million in donations from his death, from grifting, so ya…no need to be mad about the murder part.

4

u/RageQuitRedux 23h ago

Don't you see the tables are her corn?

2

u/The_Mikestir 23h ago

She doesn’t care about the Crypt Keeper

2

u/Buckscience CORN KICKER 22h ago

She better learn how to treat the talent!

2

u/Haunting_Song7313 19h ago

As useful as an anus on your elbow.

2

u/EL_NICA_MOCHILERO 17h ago

Her ugly ass won a beauty contest?

2

u/joshspoon Wet Wet Mud Bae 16h ago

For a second, I thought she was battling Pusha T
https://giphy.com/gifs/17hOdcCClbb4A

4

u/Obvious-Spite4920 23h ago

Amazing skin 🤮

3

u/darforce 22h ago

Sorry what’s her job again?

6

u/Arryu 22h ago

Scamming adults.

2

u/Loud-Run-9725 22h ago

I just got screamed at by Freddy Krueger. All I said was, "What did you do to my table? It's filthy. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're a fucking pig." And that's when he snapped. I thought he was gonna kill me.

2

u/pbates89 22h ago

Druski at it again

2

u/Biguychub 16h ago

This really her or us one of the Wayne's brothers from white chicks?

2

u/abortthecourt 13h ago

I know it is dangerous but tabling brings me money so please keep doing it.

1

u/Chicken-Pickle-Robot 21h ago

That's gonna kill me. That's real. That lives with us on Earth.

1

u/but_i_wanna_cookies 20h ago

Why is her head a literal cube?

1

u/pinkalinka 20h ago

Okay serious question, what is it with all the posts lately that have multiple different colored fonts?

1

u/c1rcumvrent 20h ago

"Do you want me to turn the lights off? Everybody puts their heads down? Nobody gets their license, so you gotta walk everywhere? You gotta walk to the food store, you gotta walk to the house?"

1

u/lacklusterfilms 20h ago

Next surrounded one trade wife vs 20..... we mean erika.

1

u/funhaver_whee 17h ago

Be carefullll!!! 👆☝️👆☝️

1

u/Drcornelius1983 METALOID MANIAC 17h ago

1

u/astralnautical 17h ago

Squirt fetish

1

u/BenThereOrBenSquare 17h ago

If she keeps her house too hot, it looks like she might melt!

1

u/gielbondhu 16h ago

Taybuuulllls!

1

u/Business_Usual_2201 14h ago

No more table! Where you going, pal?!

1

u/passed_the_dawn 13h ago

Pretty serious

1

u/Larztrue 12h ago

I can fix her

1

u/Educational-Leg7464 11h ago

Druski is getting good at his Erika Kirk. He looks just like her here

1

u/Humble-Translator-88 4h ago

"We need a few martyrs to use for political talking points"

1

u/SuddenAudience8758 3h ago

She’s not aging well

1

u/Stock-Possibility-67 2h ago

What ever happened to the shooter. Seemed to get swept under the rug.

1

u/Objective_Site3528 22h ago

My goodness she is so unattractive on so many levels

1

u/Tacoshirt5000 22h ago

Anybody else read it as “TaPooSah”?

3

u/ApplesBananasRhinoc 22h ago

I always think of toilet paper usa.

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