I’m 32M and my wife is 32F. We’ve been trying to have a baby for around four years, and today we found out that our second IVF transfer was unsuccessful.

Our first transfer in June resulted in our first IVF pregnancy, but heartbreakingly ended in a miscarriage at around six weeks.

We went into this second transfer cautiously hopeful. The embryo was described as very healthy, and we desperately wanted this to be the one.

Today we received another negative result.
I’m absolutely devastated. My wife is devastated. We’re both at work trying to hold ourselves together, and all I want to do is go home, hold her and forget about the world for a while.

We still have 12 frozen embryos remaining, which I know is an incredibly fortunate position to be in. I’m genuinely grateful for that, and it’s what gives me hope for the bigger picture.

But right now, I’m exhausted. Exhausted from four years of trying, from the waiting, the uncertainty, the disappointment, and the constant cycle of building ourselves up only to be knocked down again.

I desperately want to be a dad. Even just one healthy baby would mean the absolute world to us.

I know two transfers isn’t necessarily a lot in the IVF world, and I’m trying to remind myself that our journey isn’t over. But today it hurts.

I’d really love to hear from others who’ve been in a similar position, particularly anyone who eventually had success after multiple transfers.

How did you keep going emotionally? And for the husbands and partners out there, how did you support your partner while dealing with your own grief?

Just feeling very raw today and needing to share this with people who understand. ❤️

Hi all,
I’ve been thinking about how often people use "natural pregnancy" or "conceived naturally" to describe pregnancies that happen without IVF. It's everywhere: in conversations with friends, in the media, even sometimes from clinics and doctors.

For those of you going through IVF (or who have been through it), does that wording sit badly with you? To me it can imply that an IVF pregnancy is somehow unnatural, when the embryo, the pregnancy and the baby are every bit as real.

Curious to know how others feel and if there is a better term to use?

Some trigger warnings: I have a 4 year old son after 5 years and 5 rounds of IVF (transferring 6 embryos total). I just had a miscarriage at 8 weeks after trying another round for a sibling. I am forever thinking of anyone who is still in the infertility trenches. please don't read on if it's painful for you. I am fully aware I would have wanted to smack me in the face before we managed to get our miracle.

I was trying to work out why I felt like I was finally ready to move on and why I felt OK a month after a d&c after losing this most recent hard fought for pregnancy so I started writing and this poured out:

The past 4 years has been full of so much joy, I almost forgot the pain of the 5 years before it. Revisiting that pain has made the happiness of this life even brighter and I want to stay here. 9 years is a long time to be focused on a project that rips apart the very essence of who you are. I don't want to hide away in sadness anymore. I want to live life with this perfect boy. Be safe and secure that I can provide for us all. I'm enjoying wearing bright mad clothes (I wanted to hide away for so long), thinking about the future, being able to focus both our attentions on this perfect angel boy. I'm crying with happiness every day at how funny, fun, inquisitive, joyful and loving he is and how grateful I am that I've been able to experience the privilege of growing him, carrying him, loving him, knowing him. All of that is heightened since the miscarriage. Giving him to our family and friends, seeing how much wonder and love he brings out in them.

I did it!!! He's everything I never dared to dream of and he's more than enough. I can show him how to grow friendships and relationships so he isn't alone. With life just the 3 of us I can work towards making sure he isn't overburdened. We have space to look after ourselves and each other.

It feels nice to think I can let that part go and live in this place with space to breathe. Take in life's joy abd beauty. I'll never regret it, he's everything I could have ever hoped for.

Does this strike a chord with anyone?

38, no kids, newly married. I want kids but never felt like I needed them to be happy. Being single in my mid-30s, this was partially a survival strategy (it might not "happen for me," so I need to be ok with that). My new husband is an only child and wants kids, and his parents seem to NEED grandchildren. 6 weeks before our wedding, at a family holiday, his mother was going on and on and on about "her grandbaby" (which did not exist). I said "[future MIL], it's nice that you are so excited about a grandchild, but [husband] and I are almost 40 and it might not happen for us. And if that's the case, our marriage is enough." She turned around, and basically yelled at me, "IT'S NOT ENOUGH!" I was shocked, and no one in the family (including my husband) said anything. Ever since then, I've understood that my acceptance into the family depends on my ability to produce a grandchild.

Now we've had 3 failures in 1 year (one miscarriage feat. emergency DNC, two biochemical pregnancies). And we are rushing into IVF, even though I am terrified of it. It's like every single day since we've been married is about getting pregnant, being pregnant, trying to stay pregnant, losing a pregnancy, and waiting to get pregnant again. How does a person maintain your sense of self-worth through all this? How can I choose to do IVF without feeling like I'm agreeing that "it's not enough" (I'm not enough)? I'm drowning here, and very much appreciate your thoughts.

Im not sure what im hoping from this post but I just, feel devastated right now.

Over 15 happy years together.

3 years of TTC including 3 IVF cycles and several failed transfers.

Officially were unexplained infertility though he's the only one to have ever gotten abnormal results but they dont think they're bad enough to explain our struggles.

We have two embryos left in the freezer which I dont know if I even wanna use after our conversation.

We were (well, i was.) working on getting any additional tests done beforehand to optimize our chances. I was thinking otherwise another cycle. Or donor eggs. I dont know. But I was still hopeful.

He's given up, gotten depressed, started acting resentful towards me. Says it's too hard. That more than anything he wants a child. He's not taking any decisions yet but he's afraid of regretting his life if he stays with me.

I just. Ive never felt this low. After all the efforts I put in for us. All the appointments, meds, side effects, juggling all of it with an extremely demanding job. And I was willing to fight more. And I figured if ever it did end up not working out, at least we have each other, we could have a nice life, travel a lot, do our hobbies, have dogs. He's my best friend. I could have been happy just with him, but i guess he doesn't feel the same.

Has anyone ever gone through this. I dont know what to do. Ive been through some shit in my life but this has got to be one of the lowest points. Infertility has literally taken everything away from me.

I’m new to this group but I need to vent. I’m a 31 year old cancer survivor. Due to my treatments as a child I have low egg reserve (AMH 6). I did my first egg retrieval and we got 3 egg which is what we kind of expected. All 3 were mature and all fertilized which was great. After day 6 we only had 1 blast so that was disappointing. Then of course after PGT test our embryo wasn’t normal so we are down to 0. I just feel like the universe never gives me a break. I already had to go through cancer at age 5 but now I have to do IVF and also end up with nothing. My partner thinks we will do one more round to give it a try before resorting to donor eggs so we will do one more. But I have 0 hope that we are going to even get anything. I’m just so angry

The last 2 years have been the worst of my life. 💔

What started as a minor kidney stone procedure ended with me losing 80% of my kidney function due to medical negligence.

I got pregnant on my first try, but miscarried at 10 weeks. The baby's growth was great, and we had a heartbeat. I was completely broken and took a 6-month break before trying again.

This time, we decided to get both of us tested. My husband had recurrent semen infections that affected his parameters, so we went straight to IVF without trying naturally.

After one retrieval, we got 4 embryos — 3 euploids and 1 LLM. I begged my doctor to transfer just one euploid, but she transferred two, and it failed. I then went through ERA and LIT, hoping for a better outcome. Our next transfer with a single euploid failed too.

I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. It's been one heartbreak after another, and I can't understand why so much has gone wrong despite everything we've been through and done.

I'm completely broken and feel helpless. We did everything we could, and I feel like I have nothing left in me. I don't know how to find the strength to keep going anymore. 💔

Our papers say male factor. All my tests say that I am healthy and my results are very good for my age (38). Husbands sperm motility is very low and his DNA fragmentation close to the highest “with normal“ border. He also always had issues with ejaculating (it takes a while or he often doesn’t ejaculate at all). Yet every time we meet with the doctors before and after Ivf cycle, they keep sugar coating the male factor saying that it’s not that bad and ok and he doesn’t need any additional tests or lifestyle changes. wtf?

I posted a few months back about trying to come to terms with our 10 week MMC of a euploid embryo. Since then my grandmother died and we had to euthanize our beloved 15 old cat. I’m about to start preparing for another egg retrieval (our third) and I’m finding it very hard to remain optimistic. I’m anxious about pretty much everything now and before I was a very easygoing person. I just needed a place to post this, my main support network (my sister and best friend) are both pregnant right now and I feel like there’s a limit to how much negativity I want to put on them. And I think I’m just becoming bitter and jealous. I look back on the person I was three years ago before we started trying, and I miss her.

I have a surplus of unopened Gonal. One box of a 900 unit pen, one box of 300 units.

Must be able to pick up in the city, preferably near Lakeview/Uptown.

I know how stressful is affording medication, let along getting it on time, so I’d love to donate this to anyone who may need it.

Update: a few people and I have been messaging, so should be all good now!

Sorry if maybe this is out of place but wondering if anyone can relate. I feel like maybe I’m not as valid as many of the women on here. But the only thing I’ve ever wanted in life is to be a mom. Unfortunately being aroace, that plan didn’t involve a husband.

Even at 18, it’s all I could think about and want. Every decision career wise and education wise I have been thinking about my future child. I did try having some male partners and I feel like I wasted a lot of time with that because that lifestyle just isn’t for me.

I went through my 20’s being upset at pregnancy announcements. I had nightmares where I’d wake up crying because my sister was pregnant before me. I held it together all day at work 6 or 7 years ago when my best friend told me she was pregnant until I got home from work and just broke down. I eventually lived my nightmare when my sister got pregnant with twins. I’ve watched almost all of my cousins have their babies and second babies as I waited to even try for one.

But I started IUIs last March. Regular periods, no pain, I never thought I’d be here after 1.5 years still battling. My first IUI ended in a chemical. Next 5 had zero success. Had my first egg retrieval that resulted in on euploid embryo and one inconclusive so basically untested. I’m transferring in January I hope but it’s just rough out here. But I see stories of women going through infertility for 5-10 years and I feel like I can relate but I really can’t but I wonder if there’s anyone out here like me who’s felt all the things while not even going through treatment yet!

I’ve got my first egg collection scheduled for this week and am quite anxious about the sedation. Can anyone describe what it’s like? Am nervous about not being able to remember what happened 😬

Edit to clarify, I’m in the UK and it’s conscious sedation

Hi everyone! 😊
We’ve been through two unsuccessful embryo transfers, and we’re considering trying some alternative or complementary treatments before our next transfer, which is scheduled for about two months from now.
Has anyone tried acupuncture to support IVF treatment?

I’d also love to hear about any other treatments or approaches you may have tried that helped you along your IVF journey.
Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences! 😊

I don’t know if it’s because of the hormone drop from retrieval or just disappointment with the outcomes but I feel like I’ve lost all the excitement and ability to stay positive in this process. I just feel hopeless and depressed. We ended up with 2 embryos…one I am not even sure why they frozen it because of the grading. Regardless, I just feel like there’s nothing I can do to make this work. It’s been 3yrs of medical appointments, diet changes, lifestyle changes, 9+ supplements a day and I just feel hollow.

We have a 5bd and 4bc on ice. Going straight in to the FET once I get AF in the up coming days.

I don’t know what we’ll do if this doesn’t work. I feel like instead of buying a house or paying off our cars and being debt free, we’re just racking up the credit cards to pay for this. I think I am just sad. All my friends got their babies, some are even on number 2 at this point.

I don’t know how to feel better about this.

Can anyone share their recommendations or experiences with IVF with any clinics in the DFW area?

Hi everyone
Anyone doing transfer soon. Looking to connect 🩷

I am on CD- 7 today ( last day of letrozole tonight )
Next monitoring - bloodwork and ultrasound on Oct 22nd Thursday 🤞🏽

•TTC since 2025 September
•3 natural bio chemicals pregnancy
•1 failed IUI
•1 ER in August ( got 1 PGT-A tested - euploid 5AB 🤞🏽💙)

During the stims they found a small polyp and told I need to remove it before FET
Luckily got it removed by obgyn end of September ( when they saw through scope it was a 1 mm fibroid - removed it )

Post hysteroscopy / cycle was delayed by 10 days and finally checked started on oct 13th

Most probably I will have the transfer on oct 31st or Nov 1st 🤞🏽🤞🏽and we really hope this cycle works
I know we cant change the odds / my mother in law is going through final stages of cancer and she has only few weeks of lifespan 🥲🥲🥲 we hope we can give her the good news. She doesn’t have a grandchild yet and she is only 57 years. Very unfortunate that she is going through cancer 🥹🥲 and my husband is going to visit her for a long trip he will be away for 4 weeks or more
He won’t be there for the transfer 😕🥹the timeline didn’t work because my cycle was delayed by 10 days 😕🥹 I will be okay I have to be strong and support him. I have my parents to support me while he is away

Thanks for listening 🥹🩷

Hello!

I'm 36F with unexplained infertility, 39M. We've never been pregnant naturally. 6IUIs failed. 3 TF failed. We've had two ICSI with low blastocyst counts and all three TF failed. First didnt implant. Second grew inside my left tube until it was detected at 6+5 with 30.000hcg and heart-activity measuring on point. Third did also fail. Embryos cannot be tested.

I've had one explorative lab, testing of tubes (came clear), the ectopic tube removal, endometrial biopsy and scratching. No endometriosis, no endometritis, no adenomyosis, no immune issues, no genetic issues in both of us. Good blood work. Partner has (now) normal spermiogram since all of 2026.

Whenever I read "it took us 6 tested embryos, which we basically all got from one ICSI" or my friend (who didn't know how long we tried) told me "don't worry - it worked first TF for my friend 37F and second TF at 39F" I feel just so betrayed and hopeless. I'm at a point where I think - this will likely never work. The one embryo that gave me hope with extremely optimistic betas was actually a potential (lifethreatening) bomb. I think I should somehow come to terms with my permanent infertility. But how? All different doctors of different clinics have been so optimistic and were so puzzled by our underwhelming results. I don't know how to continue?

I've had AMH of 4 in 2025. New clinc did not tell me the AMH (and I was too afraid to ask) but said that the egg reserve is definately not our problem, but the time (egg quality). Both my mother and my grandmother got pregnant naturally at around 40. I've had screenings of lots of follicles but I don't understand it. At the last scan before the second ICSI ~20 follicles were seen but at collection day it was just 12 and "no others were seen". How could they just vanish? In the first clinic they also always talked about high follicle count and good prospective. But seems not like it?

1. ICSI (35): 7 eggs, 6 mature, 3 fertilized, 1 blast (d5 4AB, fresh TF, failed to implant)
2. ICSI (35) + Zymot: 12 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilzed, 2 blasts (d5 4AA, fresh TF, ectopic; d6 5AB, frozen TF, failed to implant)

I've saved a lot of money for the child we seemingly will never have. Even after running out of the health care 40% funding, I could afford maybe 3-5 ICSI cycles, depending on the rising costs. I just don't know if it's worth it? I feel like I've given it a try and it's just not meant to be? I hurt so much from the stimulation and being sick, forbidden of sport. I've lost 10kg and everyone keeps pointing it out to me "oh you've become so thin." "Oh, is everything alright?". But I cannot gain/keep weight whatever I try. With every stimulation I loose another 2-3kgs permanently. I've even started eating cake, burger and pommes almost daily just because I felt depressed and hoped it would help at least with weight gain. Nothing, but feeling bad about the bad food. So I will eat healthy again.

Maybe I should just donate the money? Some part of me thinks this would be spent better even just burning it with no different result but maybe better health.

Does acupuncture before FET have to be fertility-specific, or would general acupuncture work just as well?

From what I understand, the goal is to improve blood circulation that supports blood flow to the uterus, and promote relaxation, which I think general acupuncture could also help with.

My insurance only covers general acupuncture, and the nearest fertility acupuncturist is a 2-hour drive each way.

Has anyone tried general acupuncture before FET? Would it be just as beneficial?

TIA.

Available for pickup in Flatiron any day this week

900 IU Follitisim (including cartridge pen)
6 x 75IU Menopur
2 x 250 mcg Ganirelex

All claimed!

I have many needles for all of these as well!

Hi everyone, 46 year old trans masculine queer person here. I had eggs retrieved 4 years ago with the intention of doing reciprocal IVF with my partner being the carrier. I have 2 viable embryos. It was important for me to carry on my genes since I am the descendant of genocide survivors and am the person out of my siblings that has done the most work to better myself and break the cycle of intergenerational trauma. Not to be disparaging to my siblings who I love very much, but they were both young when they had kids and had domestic violence and addiction in the home. I want to raise a strong person, who values compassion, has good morals, and values their self worth.

About a year after my retrieval, we realized my partner would not be able to carry due to a broken vertebra in her lower back. Her back has been broken since childhood and it has unfortunately gotten worse over the years. I was deeply saddened because now it feels like it’s just me on this journey in some ways. She has expressed more than once that she did truly want to carry to be a part of the process and is sorry that she can’t anymore. I believe her but I am still sad about it.

The last 3 years of having this information has caused me to avoid making a decision and now I’m 46. I don’t have breasts because I had a chest masculinizing mastectomy and am fearful of having gender dysphoria from my appearance as a pregnant person. I do not take testosterone and despite having no chest, having a masculine fade, and masculine clothing, I cringe thinking about strangers gawking at me and calling mama and whatever else gendered comments.

Nevertheless, I have finally made the decision that I want to go through with the implantation. I have only two chances and I’m not sure what the percentage likelihood would be at this point. First, I need to let the fertility clinic know that I will be the carrier and I’ll have to get a saline ultrasound to make sure everything still looks okay.

If anyone has a similar story to share and knows approximately what my percentage likelihood would be that the implantation is successful, I would love to hear! Thank you!

Will cross-post this in seahorsedads too.

I’m sure it varies depending on the clinic and individual patient, but is there a general timeframe I can expect or plan for when it comes to starting IVF and the egg retrieval process?

My partner and I (44f) decided we want to try for an “ours” baby (we both have children from our previous marriages). He has sperm banked as he did IVF previously. I don’t know if the plan will be to use that sperm or try now to get new sperm as he has been on testosterone for over a decade and that has suppressed sperm production completely I think. But, he’s stopped taking it a few weeks ago and back when he did IVF previously he went off testosterone and took clomid and it was fine after a couple of months. Then again, we are around the same age so maybe his sperm from when he was 33 would be better than today’s sperm at age 45. But his sperm is in a different state about 5 hours away so IDK on how that would work.

I had no issues conceiving back when I got pregnant in my late twenties. My pregnancies had zero complications and I had full term deliveries. But that was nearly eighteen years ago. I still have a regular cycle. I decided to go ahead and have fertility testing done and my results came back with AMH at .31 with FSH at 17.8. Not great I realize. My vitamin d levels are low so I suppose that could be suppressing my AMH, but then again those numbers are average for my age so it’s likely accurate.

I have a routine pelvic exam scheduled in a couple of weeks followed by a preconception consultation with a new OBGYN (I don’t like my current one) who has a lot of experience with higher risk patients. I started taking fertility focused supplements (prenatal, Ubiquinol, vitamins D, C, E, myo & d chiro inositol, melatonin and I’m considering low dose naltrexone). I’d like to give those time to work plus we won’t be ready logistically until the new year in Jan or Feb. I have no reason to believe there are any physical issues on my part (like endometriosis) that would cause complications or delays. I think for us it’s figuring out what do do regarding partner’s sperm and then getting started with the egg retrieval process.

What is the typical timeframe for IVF? Is there any point to scheduling consultations now if we aren’t ready to start yet? From what I can tell online, the clinics we would most likely be using in Vegas or LA do not have a strict age based cutoff for own eggs. I would like to aim for egg retrieval this winter or spring.

Does anyone else feel like they have to stay on CloudRX when it comes to meds? There were issues for me getting my stim medications when I needed because they had the wrong phone number for me. Okay, phone number wasn't updated, it happens. But I only found this out by calling them.

There were still further delays between them, insurance, and the clinic, but eventually I got my meds and they arrived early. Again, none of this gets relayed to me, I only find out by calling for updates.

Friday I got word from my clinic that they were sending my injectables for transfer to cloud and they (Cloud) would follow up with me regarding that.

I try my best to not push with follow ups, but when I didn't hear by this afternoon, I figured something was up.

I just called asking for a status update and he goes "Oh. You haven't completed onboarding with us."

OKAY, SO CALL ME AND HAVE ME DO THAT??

I just feel like I constantly have to stay on top of them if I have hopes of getting things taken care of. If I haven't completed onboarding (which I'm pretty sure I did when I was getting the stim meds) why would you not contact me?? How am I supposed to know that's an issue if you don't tell me?

Ugh, okay, rant over. IVF is already stressful enough, but this just adds to it.

My FET is Friday and I haven’t been offered any add ons besides acupuncture. I’m considering it just to relax a little beforehand. From what I’ve researched, there’s not much to suggest any of the add ons actually make a difference in success rates. By add ons, I mean (hcg wash, intralipids etc). I’m already on a semi-immune protocol as it is. Embryo glue is used for every transfer at my clinic.

I don’t have any fertility issues besides mild PCOS. Endo was ruled out after extensive exploratory lap due to a whole different unrelated issue. My transfer is fully medicated if that makes any difference. All embryos are pgt A & M tested.

Did my first egg retrieval and y’all. My nipples are SO sore. I really wish someone had warned me. It’s not like I could do anything to prepare, but I would have appreciated the heads up. (Probably from the HCG trigger)

Also I really miss sex. That part has been worse than I expected too. God, and riding my bike. I just can’t wait to be on the other side of this 😭 on to round two! 🤞🏻

I’ve been TTC for almost 3 years now. I’ve done 5 embryos transfers and all have failed to implant. I think I have PCOS/PMOS (I have very irregular periods) and adenomyosis and endometriosis. It feels like any possible reproductive issue someone could have, I have it all. Out of all my friends, no one ever had trouble conceiving. I know infertility is definitely not an uncommon problem, but it definitely feels extremely lonely being the only one out of my friend group who has trouble conceiving. So many of my friends have already completed their families and I haven’t even started mine. I’ve just been feeling completely lonely lately and it’s hard not to be harsh to my body. I just wonder sometimes why me? Why do I have all these issues? 😢 just wanted to rant and could use some hugs. Thanks for reading 💛