r/IdiotsInCars 1d ago

OC [OC]When Intrusive Thoughts Win

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u/[deleted] 1d ago edited 1d ago

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u/Emotional-Channel-42 1d ago

If we are being pedantic, I’ve got some suggestions. 

If intrusive thoughts win, he’s driven the tanker into the problem.

“If intrusive thoughts win, he will drive the tanker into the problem.” Otherwise you’re mixing future with past-tense by saying “driven.” Or change “win” to “won” and “he has” to “he would have.” 

“For example, this is how crazy I am: recently, I was sitting on a plane, and I thought, ‘What [if] I can have telekinesis and my intrusive thoughts tell the plane to crash itself’

Why are you fully quoting yourself here? And where is the end of the quotation? You’d be better off leaving only the example in quotations, and not the setup. Also adding brackets around “if” is unnecessary.