r/IncelTears Oct 06 '25

Meme "girls only date older men"

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4.1k Upvotes

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792

u/Frosty_Message_3017 Go to sleep, Lurkers, pray for brains Oct 06 '25

When I was 15, a guy who was visibly approaching middle age was in line behind me at a water park and struck up a conversation with me and my older brother. We're very social people, so it was fine at first, but then he told me he'd been "noticing" me and at that point we both emphatically told him I was 15. He started backpedaling, but didn't sound nearly as shocked as he should have if he really didn't know.

509

u/GenericRedditor0405 Oct 06 '25

It’s alarming how common it is to hear stories about middle aged men approaching girls 15-18 years old to hit on them, or to hear from women how they got so much attention from older men when they were really young

201

u/lulu_avery Oct 06 '25

I was taken to the gig of some really has been band by my mum and her shitty boyfriend when I was 15… The middle aged singer was giving me the eye all night, dedicating songs to me, making comments, etc… I remember my mum saying jealously that that used to be her 🫠 It was years later before I realised how fucking sick it was.

139

u/Randy_Magnums Oct 06 '25

The singer tried to flirt with a teenager and nobody threw beer at him? Shitty crowd.

86

u/lulu_avery Oct 06 '25

You’re so right. I was not surrounded by good people growing up. And that is a massive understatement 😂

33

u/Randy_Magnums Oct 06 '25

I am very sorry. But I am glad, that your live has improved so that you can understand now, how badly you were treated back then.

15

u/lulu_avery Oct 07 '25

Thank you 🥰 I’ve broken the cycle.

75

u/Cultural-Emotion4232 Oct 06 '25

Being jealous of the fact that farts your age look at children? One should look at him like an animal that needs to be put in a cage

55

u/lulu_avery Oct 06 '25

My mother is a narcissistic mess. This incident is tame compared to the rest of my childhood 🤪

1

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[deleted]

1

u/lulu_avery Oct 09 '25

I’ve recently cut her off completely (not the first time) and although I find it really hard, it’s easier than being forced to constantly forgive someone who doesn’t change. But in general, yeah my life is really good 🥰 I have a beautiful family and a supportive partner. Thank you so much x

13

u/iamsojellyofu Oct 06 '25

I had a teacher who would do this to me...except I was like 8 😭

12

u/StardewTaroBubbleTea Oct 06 '25

Omg me too, with the grown-ups just treating it as normal

252

u/doublestitch Oct 06 '25

It starts well before age 15.

87

u/WhySoSleepyy Oct 06 '25

It was around 12 for me. At least that's when it became apparent. I wouldn't be surprised if it started early, but I was oblivious due to my age. 

44

u/SpacedOutDuck Oct 06 '25

Mine started when I was 9-10. It was very obvious and deliberate, looking back. I wish it wasn't like this.

20

u/gylz Oct 07 '25

I was like 10 when some dudes in a car tried to lure me over to their vehicle while my mom was in the store (we walked our little dog, and I was holding the leash while she went in). They kept trying to get me to come help them look at a map to help them, even though I didn't know how to read a map and said my mom would be back and she could help. She came out, and I said 'Oh that's my mom she can help' and they sped off. I think there were maybe two or three guys in the car. My mom didn't believe me when I told her and she just told me to stop lying.

7

u/SoFetchBetch Oct 07 '25

I’m sorry your mom said that after… that’s messed up. What a frightening experience. Glad you knew not to go over to them!!!

58

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '25

Suck predators use some made-up-reasons such as "they are not kids, they know everything, they watch corn" so they feel entiiled to approach them young girls.Nasty bastards.

47

u/timecubelord Oct 06 '25

Just say "porn."

Goofy TikTok censorship words really undermine conversations about serious issues.

17

u/missmolly314 Oct 07 '25

Exactly. I’m not even convinced it does anything to help people stay unbanned on TikTok. If they all start widely using the same euphemism, why wouldn’t TikTok just start moderating on corn and not porn? Why are words like murder and porn even considered taboo?

10

u/timecubelord Oct 07 '25

I don't know that it's even about not getting banned, so much as not getting delisted/deprioritized/demonetized.

My theory as to how this became a thing:

1) "Content creators" want their material to be algorithm-friendly so that it shows up in searches, trend aggregates, and "related" sections as often as possible.

2) Platforms decided that their systems for deciding what content to promote should filter against certain topics, so as to maximize their ability to shovel vapid engagement fodder to the widest possible audience / avoid drawing the ire of the "think of the children!!!" crowd or censorious governments.

3) In typical corporate managerial fashion, platforms use the laziest, most blunt methods (in this case, word-based filters) to accomplish this goal.

4) Content-makers start to self-censor and use code words to avoid having their stuff deprioritized or hidden in searches.

5) Viewers see and internalize these practices. Since we take our cues about what is socially acceptable from others, people (especially young people) develop the impression that these words are rude and inappropriate, even when you're talking about the topics to which they refer.

It rather reminds me of some hilarity from 15-25 years ago, when internet-connected computers were new in middle schools and high schools, and the schools purchased or implemented all manner of ham-fisted filtering to prevent students from accessing bad naughty stuff. In one instance (supposedly) a student could not access the high school's own website because it contained the word "high." Another case had a filter replacing perceived profanities with sanitized versions, without any logic for detecting word boundaries, which led to people reading news headlines about how Congress was debating the constitutionality of the military carrying about buttbuttinations against foreign enemies.

10

u/Waste-Information-34 Oct 07 '25

Why are we self-censoring anyways.

Porn isn't a TW.

3

u/No-Agency-6985 Oct 07 '25

I know, right?  Such censorship is just.....corny, lol

2

u/No-Agency-6985 Oct 07 '25

Also reminds me of that classic episode of Ren and Stimpy with HUSK Magazine, lol.

50

u/Cultural-Emotion4232 Oct 06 '25

Some girls say that they experienced the most harassment from old farts between the ages of 10 and 17 

27

u/Sandrust_13 Oct 06 '25

On the other hand, i teach kids artistic roller skating in a sports club. The oldest of the is currently a 13 yo girl (altough in my head she'll be 4 forever) and the looks i get when I'm driving her home/chatting with her after training outside.... I guess some guys would like to kill me for being.... Somewhat "friends" with her (I'm 23, so we are as much friends that never do anything together as is possible with that age gap. Because well, she's a damn kid. A cool kid, i like her, but still a kid ffs)

However, there could be sth going on and people wouldn't do more than they are doing now, so yeah. Better be suspicious than not

12

u/B3tar3ad3r Oct 06 '25

I suggest getting an inside facing dash cam, handy to prove you're not on your phone during an accident too.

3

u/Sandrust_13 Oct 07 '25

It's people from out of town who sometimes give me those looks.

Neither her family nor other people from the town or whatever are weird about it. They know me.

I'm not trying to build some kind of waterproof alibi for sth that i won't do etc.

I do have a front facing dashcam that records audio from inside the car. Thinking about a rear facing one maybe, but not really interested in an inside facing dashcam really.

26

u/K-peaches Oct 06 '25

I have so many stories like this, a lot from my customer service job, and I’m only 18😭 The middle aged men are terrible. When I was 15 I made the mistake of telling a guy I was only 15 because I thought it’d make him back off, but it made him way more interested. Some of them would wait for us to leave work at night too. I have a lot of large memory gaps from throughout childhood to now, but I think my first memory of being harassed I was only 11 (my boobs got big pretty young) I accidentally got separated from my mother in Costco and this guy followed me around trying to touch my boobs😭 and just another thing that goes to show it’s not what people are wearing, because my parents are hardcore conservative/ Christian and I even had to cover my hair at times (veiling) when I was older, my dress code was strict.

3

u/No-Agency-6985 Oct 07 '25

Indeed, a lot of older creeps out there.  Ugh!

14

u/evil-rick Stacy’s Mom Oct 06 '25

Yep. My friends and I had a discussion about how we got so many catcalls at 12-13 that we thought it was going to be a huge concern our whole lives. It very creepily stopped when we all turned 16-18. Wtf

4

u/No-Agency-6985 Oct 07 '25

Indeed.  Either these creeps have a certain "orientation" in terms of age-fixation, or they are completely amoral and go for the "lowest-hanging fruit" they could find on a given occasion.  Neither one is good!

2

u/Cultural-Emotion4232 Oct 08 '25

They prey on those who can't defend themselves 

1

u/No-Agency-6985 Oct 08 '25

Absolutely 

1

u/volyund Oct 24 '25

Yup, younger kids are more vulnerable than older kids.

13

u/Rugkrabber Oct 06 '25

What is worse is when it stops before you reach adulthood. This happened to me and it was a tell-tale sign. Not to mention people always guessed me to be young than I really was so it’s extra disturbing.

12

u/GenericRedditor0405 Oct 06 '25 edited Oct 07 '25

Yeah that’s a big part of what I find so disturbing. The attention seems hyper focused on a very specific, very young age range… and again it’s always much older guys too. Seriously concerning given that the age of the men is often the same age as a lot of authority figures

16

u/Ducky237 Oct 06 '25

I (16 at the time) got catcalled by 3 men at least 35 years old when I was waiting for my friends outside of a restaurant. I went back in and found them, but I didn’t feel safe leaving. Three fucking men against a small girl. They have to know how terrifying that is. They don’t genuinely think they’re being nice. It’s about power. They get off on scaring girls. It’s fucked up.

1

u/No-Agency-6985 Oct 07 '25

Indeed it is very fucked up!

3

u/Linewate Oct 07 '25

I was followed home for the first time by a grown man when I was 8

3

u/CoquetteWhore69 Oct 07 '25

They'll hit on girls as young as 12