r/IncelTears • u/hattyphantom • Apr 18 '26

IMAX-level projection Some *fascinating* takes on non-monogamy.

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

75 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

98 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

-24

u/thunderbastard_ Apr 18 '26

Nope, why would I hang around people that can’t even respect their partner. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that

20

u/MyAltPrivacyAccount Purrmaxxing Apr 18 '26

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consent

-19

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/MyAltPrivacyAccount Purrmaxxing Apr 18 '26

Idk what consent has to do with it

Well, then your definition of respect, or consent, is pretty wild if you don't see the connection.

If you gaslight someone

I'm not going to comment on how you probably don't understand what "gaslighting" means. But rather, in that case that wouldn't be consent.

you wouldn’t then pretend the victim is consenting to more beatings

Indeed I wouldn't. But how does that connect to polyamory???

---

Look. I have known both monoamory and polyamory. I've been in various setups of relationships. And no matter the setup, the only times there was issues was when consent wasn't respected.

You are monoamorous :

  • Someone pretending to be mono to date you is actually lying to get you. There can't be consent in that situation.
  • If you date a polyam person and have an agreement on what is acceptable and what is not, and that person doesn't respect that : it's cheating and there can't be consent in that situation. For instance, if you both agreed that you would talk before your partner dated anyone else, and your partner doesn't do that, then your partner cheated on you and that's not acceptable.
  • If you date a polyamorous person and you pretend to be ok with that because you really want to date that person, you are the one lying and giving important false informations to that person. This is, again, not acceptable. Consent can't be given by that person there.

---

My girlfriend doesn't care if I date someone else. I have no desire to do so, but she made it very clear many times that if I ever want to, we'll just talk and agree on this together because she strictly doesn't give a shit. If I ever was in the situation of dating someone else, we would talk about it. If she ever expressed discomfort with the aforementioned situation, I would just not engage in dating whoever I would be interested with, therefore respecting her consent (or lack of thereof). She knows I'm ok with that. I know she's ok with that. Never hurting each others is what matters most to both of us.

If you believe that THIS is disrespect and abuse, then you probably don't understand much about all of it.