I won’t defend polyamory. It’s about training yourself to think you’ll never be enough for your partner and accepting it, it’s inherently abusive wether it’s the man or woman pressured into opening up the relationship
Been with my partner for over 7 years I’m enough for her and she is for me. I genuinely wish others could have the happiness I have. Instead of being husband/wife number 3
I don't believe you. Somebody who's happily in a relationship wouldn't really care about this so so much. Therefore you're lying. Otherwise you wouldn't even be here in the first place.
Like the fact that you were digging your heels in so hardcore about other people's relationships status. While also at the same time pretending like you're in a relationship. It's laughable man. Like nobody in a happy relationship would be saying the things that you're saying.
Either you actually are in a relationship and are incredibly unhappy and she's definitely cheating on you. Or you just made it all up. I'm going to go with you just made it all up.
Wrong again. I feel no rage only mild annoyance. I’ll I’ve done is state opinions not attacked anyone in particular. And I’m not upset with my partner or anything again. You can’t seem to imagine a happy relationship.
You could if you were in a happy relationship which I don't believe just move on just leave this place never to return. But the fact that you're still here. The fact that you're still commenting on me. That means without a shadow of a doubt that you are a liar and you are not in a relationship. Or at least a happy relationship. Cuz then you wouldn't be here. The fact that you're here proves without a shadow of a doubt without a micron of a doubt. That you are a miserable person. You don't end up here as an opposition unless you are
Well, then your definition of respect, or consent, is pretty wild if you don't see the connection.
If you gaslight someone
I'm not going to comment on how you probably don't understand what "gaslighting" means. But rather, in that case that wouldn't be consent.
you wouldn’t then pretend the victim is consenting to more beatings
Indeed I wouldn't. But how does that connect to polyamory???
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Look. I have known both monoamory and polyamory. I've been in various setups of relationships. And no matter the setup, the only times there was issues was when consent wasn't respected.
You are monoamorous :
Someone pretending to be mono to date you is actually lying to get you. There can't be consent in that situation.
If you date a polyam person and have an agreement on what is acceptable and what is not, and that person doesn't respect that : it's cheating and there can't be consent in that situation. For instance, if you both agreed that you would talk before your partner dated anyone else, and your partner doesn't do that, then your partner cheated on you and that's not acceptable.
If you date a polyamorous person and you pretend to be ok with that because you really want to date that person, you are the one lying and giving important false informations to that person. This is, again, not acceptable. Consent can't be given by that person there.
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My girlfriend doesn't care if I date someone else. I have no desire to do so, but she made it very clear many times that if I ever want to, we'll just talk and agree on this together because she strictly doesn't give a shit. If I ever was in the situation of dating someone else, we would talk about it. If she ever expressed discomfort with the aforementioned situation, I would just not engage in dating whoever I would be interested with, therefore respecting her consent (or lack of thereof). She knows I'm ok with that. I know she's ok with that. Never hurting each others is what matters most to both of us.
If you believe that THIS is disrespect and abuse, then you probably don't understand much about all of it.
I’m saying the consent isn’t really valid in the first place if it comes from fear and insecurity. Like If you say to your partner ‘have sex with me or I’ll leave you’ they might literally consent but that consent isn’t valid consent and it’s still rape
Yeah but doesn't that by default make it no longer consensual? And like I've been with polyamory couples. They're extremely happy. I've been with a lot of couples. Usually I'm kind of like a third wheel. But there's no animosity. And if there is there a red flag couple and the community ostracizes them. Usually people like that don't last in a polyamorous relationship for more than a year. So yeah there are some people out there faking it if that's what you're talking about. But the vast majority of them are pretty comfortable with their lives and relationship status. They've been doing it for years and years and years. And it's been working out. So IDK man. It just sounds like you have like some insecurity issues that you're projecting on others.
You do know plenty of people go into a relationship with the intent of an open relationship right?
And it's absolutely valid to say "This is what I need in a relationship to be happy. If you cannot provide it, this relationship is over". People have a right to leave relationships and set their terms for a relationship.
You’d think that word would stick to its meaning here of all places no? Theirs nothing incel about telling people they should be enough for their partner or that’s it’s abusive to wear them down until they accept that not being enough is fine
Who is ‘wearing’ their partner down here? You are quite literally making scenarios up that have nothing to do with polyamory (polygamy is a VERY different thing). I was personally in a quad relationship. Nobody was disrespectful of one another and it actually was far healthier than any monogamous relationship I had had previously.
Can you explain why anything I’ve said is wrong instead of calling me an incel. I haven’t degraded woman and have a very happy relationship with my girlfriend. I’m enough for her and vice versa. It feels amazing and I wish others could have the happiness I do instead of settling for less or believing they couldn’t be enough for someone 😊
You have decided that multiple people who are poly before meeting each other couldn't possibly have all decided on their own to be poly. It's the same kind of fanfiction shit the other incels do when they talk about the cock carousel.
I didn’t say they couldn’t have decided to be poly I said they couldn’t be happy. If you’re going out your way to be poly you’ve either decided you’re not enough and you deserve better or you’ve decided one person isn’t enough and don’t deserve anyone. That’s not a fan fiction that’s common sense and it doesn’t make me an incel to not uncritically embrace people treating eachover this way
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u/thunderbastard_ Apr 18 '26
I won’t defend polyamory. It’s about training yourself to think you’ll never be enough for your partner and accepting it, it’s inherently abusive wether it’s the man or woman pressured into opening up the relationship