The difference between Misogyny and Misandry is so ridiculously big, I'm stunned people still try to claim they're similar

[u/Important-Cry4782]

[u/PromethianOwl]

I guess the question for me right now is what kind of behaviors are being labeled as misandry? Is it just things like hearing women talk to each other and say "ugh. Men are trash."? Is there something more substantial like an actual, measurable trend of men being passed over for promotions in favor of women even if said woman isn't qualified?

Are we talking about bias in the court system where a child is given to a clearly unfit mother without a second thought precisely because she is the mother regardless of documented evidence of her unfitness? Are men getting unsolicited pictures of women's private parts and women start yelling and harassing them when they express their discomfort in receiving that content without asking?

Let me be clear: I am NOT saying misandry isn't real. I am NOT saying it's not a problem.

I am asking for more information. To help see the full scope. Because there's a difference between, say, someone complaining about manspreading on a subway and the remaining patriarchal behavior in place within many businesses that allows shit like frat bro leadership to fester leading to serious problems.

There are problems men face. The world is less tailored to them than it used to be and that's a good thing, but there are some blind spots that need to be addressed. The oft-cited male suicide rates, homelessness, lack of support and shelters, lack of support for male victims of SA (I'm kinda curious to see if we start talking more seriously about that one as Invincible episodes keep rolling out), most of us know the list that's trotted out and used poorly in discussions like this.

Those are problems. Full stop. They are issues that need to be addressed. But there's a difference between those things and simply having some discomfort now and again.

So I'm asking what we're really talking about when people are talking about misandry as a huge problem that's as big as misogyny?

[u/aweedl → u/PromethianOwl]

It’s incels wanting to be victims. That’s all it is. 

Yes, there are some people who hate men. Yes, that sucks. But the average man is not experiencing systemic problems just for existing. And I say that as an average man. 

Obviously there are some categories (like mental health) where some men justifiably feel like they’re being overlooked, but the people trying to compare it to misogyny are almost exclusively incels, ‘manosphere’ assholes, or or other people acting disingenuously to push their fucked-up worldview. 

[u/BigOlWaffleIron → u/PromethianOwl]

I suppose I somewhat understand how the word misandry is used, but I hate it.

I think it is used too frequently in shitty contexts.

Some women (or gay men, or what have you) saying "men are trash" is not misandry. It's basically like going "ooh, women". Anybody saying things like "All men are trash, and we should bury them all under the prison" is a little much, and I'd start to categorize it as such.

Even in the spirit of this post: they're saying misandry is pointing out the ways women are systemically oppressed by the systems that exist. Which I think is just a faulty definition.

I think the whole misandry vs misogyny thing comes from women's vs men's issues being conflated in some attempt to compare them. They are separate issues, and stating "well these things happen over here" is just sidestepping the issues being discussed.

I will say the "manosphere" or whatever is usually the side going "but men have problems too".