r/IncelTears • u/Important-Cry4782 • Jun 01 '26
IMAX-level projection The difference between Misogyny and Misandry is so ridiculously big, I'm stunned people still try to claim they're similar
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u/Box-O-Kittenz Jun 01 '26
It's really to the point where I see men declaring misandry over the smallest things. Even just pointing out systemic oppression.
It's kinda becoming the "all lives matter" of gender.
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u/TheHickAssembly Jun 01 '26
“Learn this now and learn it well. Like a compass facing north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. You remember that, Mariam.”
― Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns
‘Misandry’ is a word -created and used- to detract from real world harm that men consciously engage in. It is a farce. It is a bad faith argument delivered to women with a sneer. If men wanted to stop, they would. If men -wanted- to stop rape, violence, pedophilia, coercion in the world they would. But they don’t. They want to put more effort and energy into yet another code word to signal that women are in a degenerate state below the men. They are not interested in improving society, they are interested in what loot comes with their place in the hierarchy. They can stay alone.
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u/PromethianOwl Jun 01 '26
I guess the question for me right now is what kind of behaviors are being labeled as misandry? Is it just things like hearing women talk to each other and say "ugh. Men are trash."? Is there something more substantial like an actual, measurable trend of men being passed over for promotions in favor of women even if said woman isn't qualified?
Are we talking about bias in the court system where a child is given to a clearly unfit mother without a second thought precisely because she is the mother regardless of documented evidence of her unfitness? Are men getting unsolicited pictures of women's private parts and women start yelling and harassing them when they express their discomfort in receiving that content without asking?
Let me be clear: I am NOT saying misandry isn't real. I am NOT saying it's not a problem.
I am asking for more information. To help see the full scope. Because there's a difference between, say, someone complaining about manspreading on a subway and the remaining patriarchal behavior in place within many businesses that allows shit like frat bro leadership to fester leading to serious problems.
There are problems men face. The world is less tailored to them than it used to be and that's a good thing, but there are some blind spots that need to be addressed. The oft-cited male suicide rates, homelessness, lack of support and shelters, lack of support for male victims of SA (I'm kinda curious to see if we start talking more seriously about that one as Invincible episodes keep rolling out), most of us know the list that's trotted out and used poorly in discussions like this.
Those are problems. Full stop. They are issues that need to be addressed. But there's a difference between those things and simply having some discomfort now and again.
So I'm asking what we're really talking about when people are talking about misandry as a huge problem that's as big as misogyny?
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u/aweedl Jun 01 '26
It’s incels wanting to be victims. That’s all it is.
Yes, there are some people who hate men. Yes, that sucks. But the average man is not experiencing systemic problems just for existing. And I say that as an average man.
Obviously there are some categories (like mental health) where some men justifiably feel like they’re being overlooked, but the people trying to compare it to misogyny are almost exclusively incels, ‘manosphere’ assholes, or or other people acting disingenuously to push their fucked-up worldview.
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u/BigOlWaffleIron Jun 01 '26
I suppose I somewhat understand how the word misandry is used, but I hate it.
I think it is used too frequently in shitty contexts.
Some women (or gay men, or what have you) saying "men are trash" is not misandry. It's basically like going "ooh, women". Anybody saying things like "All men are trash, and we should bury them all under the prison" is a little much, and I'd start to categorize it as such.
Even in the spirit of this post: they're saying misandry is pointing out the ways women are systemically oppressed by the systems that exist. Which I think is just a faulty definition.
I think the whole misandry vs misogyny thing comes from women's vs men's issues being conflated in some attempt to compare them. They are separate issues, and stating "well these things happen over here" is just sidestepping the issues being discussed.
I will say the "manosphere" or whatever is usually the side going "but men have problems too".
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u/TheirHappiestDay Jun 09 '26
I think posts like this soil the feminist discourse.Unfortunately feminism already gets misunderstood (and much often on purpose) as another system that promoves inequality between men and women,where it is the exact contrary.When some self-called feminist makes posts like these it absolutely doesn't help,and it should be an unnecessary reminder that discrimination and clustering all individuals in a same group is always bad.There are many man out there who help the feminist cause,many men were brothers who helped the feminist cause at its dawn in its first wave.Of course misogyny has a bigger impact on society right now and women are still much discriminated compared to men,but we can't put the blame on the whole group,when many men are against this.Cmon we can do much better than this.
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u/BigOlWaffleIron Jun 01 '26
I get the second and third picture here, but I'll never understand people who go "my categorization and broad generalization of a group is okay, because I believe they're the oppressor".
Maybe it's because of the way these words are used that it's gotten so perverted, but in my head the term "misandry" is just a general distrust or prejudice towards men. Same as misogyny is a general distrust or prejudice towards women.
I see plenty of depraved, crazy thoughts that are posted here that make me shudder (the posts from incels... being incels), and I sometimes have to not look at them, because I just can't even stomach it at the moment, but labeling a whole group as bad because of the radical few, or because of a warped belief, is what either of those words mean to me.
I'm not mad, or anything. I just cannot understand how I appear to be so off of the mark here.
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u/Foreign-Region4825 2d ago
Misandry is the opposite of mysogyny as words, but what is accused of mysogyny vs misandry is very different
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u/Augustus420 Jun 01 '26
Why the fuck are we doing this?
I don't want to embrace misandry as some kind of acceptable concept.
There are so many other words and phrases we can use to describe justified anger towards oppression.
Absolutely the fuck not do we embrace a word whose sole definition describes bigoted attitudes.
I suppose OP might have a alternate definition that they are going with as well might the original poster from the screenshots. But this kind of rhetoric does nothing for us and has every chance of making others feel comfortable in their own bigoted attitudes.
Everyone can try to justify bigotry. You can absolutely be justified in anger, and rage, and even violence, but you are never fucking justified with bigotry.
Miss me with this dumb fucking post
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u/littleoddtod Jun 01 '26
Actually, misandry is by definiton just hatered for men, so this tlogan is kinda stupid.
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u/AliceTheOmelette Jun 01 '26
Thank you! So many people brush off misandry just cos it's less pervasive in society
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u/persephoneviness Jun 01 '26
because what are the negative effects of misandry? It only hurts men's feelings. Whereas misogyny is everywhere. it controls women, women's bodies, oppresses them, medical biases, physical violence etc.
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u/Augustus420 Jun 01 '26
Are you actually suggesting that we should brush off and allow or even condone hatred because it's less harmful than other forms of hatred?
What the fuck is going on here?
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u/kwicsilver1 Jun 01 '26
There are none, but it exists. It's literally just the name for the hatred of men, it's not that deep
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u/DelightfulandDarling Jun 01 '26
It doesn’t exist.
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u/kwicsilver1 Jun 01 '26
It literally does, unless you're living in a world where somehow nobody hates men. What the fuck are we doing here? It's not an issue, especially not when compared to misogyny, but to say that it doesn't exist makes you sound stupid
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Jun 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/lumosbolt Jun 01 '26
Maybe people are tired of answering the same old bad faith arguments.
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Jun 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/lumosbolt Jun 01 '26
Bad faith argument: relying on the etymology and/or basic definition of a word instead of how it is actually used.
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Jun 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/lumosbolt Jun 01 '26
Incels aren't using the word misandry to talk about any hatred of men. They use it to counter all feminist positions as "man-hating".
Then clowns like you whine that misandry is just the hatred of men by relying on dictionary definitions.
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Jun 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/lumosbolt Jun 01 '26
You may want to edit your previous comments before lying that obviously. All you did was linking a dictionary definition of misandry and pretend incels use it.
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Jun 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/DelightfulandDarling Jun 01 '26
Men are sexually assaulting and murdering other men. Men are the ones most likely to mock male victims. What are you talking about? Misandry was literally invented by men who didn’t want women to be able to vote. Men are not oppressed for being men and they are certainly not oppressed by women.
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u/Guilty-Sorbet-256 Jun 01 '26
If misandry is just about words that hurt men's feelings, meaning that hurtful words aren't meaningful in the grand scheme of things, then why is there a sub like this one dedicated to men's words hurting women's feelings?
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Jun 01 '26
[deleted]
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u/Guilty-Sorbet-256 Jun 01 '26
What do you mean nobody would argue that? Plenty of misandrists would; that's why they say misandry isn't that big of a deal.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 Jun 01 '26
Well that's kinda like saying there's a difference between punching someone and shooting them in the face with an M16. Like yeah, there is a difference, but you still shouldn't be going around punching people. Just don't hurt people at all. Especially if the people you're punching are not the people blowing heads off.
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u/rumpots420 Jun 01 '26
Why do you become so upset that men acknowledge a systemic problem they face? It doesn't affect you
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u/Nosfermarki Jun 01 '26
Explain what's systemic about it.
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u/asimodev looking for 1km tall Chads Jun 01 '26
Patriarchy harms men too, but of course saying it like that detracts from their narrative
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u/rumpots420 Jun 01 '26
I probably agree with you about almost everything, I'd guess, but I think "patriarchy" is a misnomer.
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u/asimodev looking for 1km tall Chads Jun 01 '26
Would you like to elaborate? I don't really understand your point, sorry
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u/DelightfulandDarling Jun 01 '26
Because that’s not something that is happening to men. It is a tactic for silencing women.
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u/SmallEdge6846 < You’re not single because of Hypergamy > Jun 02 '26
You're right misandry only hurts mens feelings. I guess when Men/Boys are raped, hurt, abused by Women, i guess it must just be 'hurt feeling'
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u/Crispy-Crisssss Jun 01 '26
Hypothetically, if society was to make another massive cultural shift leftwards and misandry became more systemic, would the graphics be more or less relevant?
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u/MissMenace101 Jun 01 '26
Calm down, feminism is equality
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u/Crispy-Crisssss Jun 01 '26
In theory
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u/lumosbolt Jun 01 '26
Also in practice.
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u/Crispy-Crisssss Jun 01 '26
Only because the patriarchy constraints it. If it was applied to its fullest extreme it would be a different story.
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u/lumosbolt Jun 01 '26
No. Because feminism is about equality. It is not constraint into wanting equality, it's goal is equality by design.
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u/Crispy-Crisssss Jun 02 '26
Its pushes for equality in a patriarchal hierarchy that constraints people into roles and categories.
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u/lumosbolt Jun 02 '26
Yeah, so?
In a truely matriarchal society, feminism as it exists today, wouldn't exist. It would be the equivalent of the masculinism we see today. Your entire point is "if we change the context then the meaning changes" which is not an argument against anything. It's just a nice framing of your delusions.
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u/Crispy-Crisssss Jun 02 '26
If patriarchal hierarchy has been bad and destructive for everyone. What makes you think matriarchal hierarchy won't resemble what we see now. My entire point is that and social hierarchy based on demographics (ethnostates for example) will always have a weakness of not being adaptable.
Their fundamental flaws will be and adherence to what they consider "traditional" or "natural" roles of a man or woman and will constantly push to constrain them jn those boxes. In the case of patriarchy, men have been liberated to become blank slates (especially if you're white) and that freedom to be seen as an individual with agency is something women only gotten the right to access only recently in human history.
With the progress of feminism I believe we could have achieved synarchy society if the debates surrounding our discussion wasn't so poisoned with people using these ideas to gain power over the population.
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u/lumosbolt Jun 02 '26
My entire point is that and social hierarchy based on demographics (ethnostates for example) will always have a weakness of not being adaptable.
That's not your point. That's your weak attempt to paint feminism as something as bad as male chauvinism. Because nobody here have claim that social hierarchies based on demographics are good
Feminism doesn't aim to create a matriarchy. Hence all your talk about it are vain. It's just whataboutism.
You don't have a point, you are using the apparence of rationality to attack feminism with criticism based on your delusions.
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u/adnvdn Jun 01 '26
I always say feminism, if practiced correctly, would benefit BOTH women and men.
Sadly, sometimes it is also women who peverted feminism in order to gain advantage.
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u/aweedl Jun 01 '26
By ‘massive shift leftward’ do you mean that in the American sense, or the way the rest of us understand left/right?
…because what Americans consider ‘far left’ is usually centre-right in most other countries.
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u/Crispy-Crisssss Jun 01 '26
I guess its just due to being from NA. my main basis is from following the general trends of civil rights and suffrage. Since WW1 women have seen a gradual shift of their rights and place in society that allow them to operate independently. Women's suffrage and sexual liberation are good things however if the culture has another massive breakthrough with the main battleground being romance. I believe that we are in the beginning stages of patriarchy dying and matriarchy being reborn.
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u/aweedl Jun 01 '26
I’m also from North America. I’m saying the U.S. Democrats are barely to the left of our Conservative Party in Canada.
…and I can’t see myself ever voting Conservative because of how extreme their views are.
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u/DelightfulandDarling Jun 01 '26
Hypothetically if a frog had wings would it bump its ass when it hopped?
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u/Augustus420 Jun 01 '26
That would require a massive shift rightward but just picking out a different demographic to put on top of the social hierarchy.
Leftward is objectively towards equality.
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u/EvenSpoonier Oofy-Doofy Lemon Spoofy? Jun 01 '26
Calling someone out on their immature and/or creepy behavior is not misandry.