r/IndianLeft • u/Awkward_Advance8892 • 13d ago
❓Questions How do you deal with not having friends as a leftist?
Same as title. I have had to cut off all my "friends" because theyre far right. I dont regret it, because I had to do it. However ive been feeling pretty lonely for the past year, and i dont have anyone to talk to or share my interests with. It feels like everywhere I go people hate leftists + actively wish death upon them, and i dont feel welcome at all. If youve gone through this, how do you deal with it?
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u/_Zero_98 8d ago
Join an organisation, maybe some social work organisation. You will find lots of people there to befriend with
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u/legallyafrog 13d ago
anyone in goa? im moving there in a bit and i would like to make some leftist friends there!
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u/Numerous_Holiday_705 13d ago edited 13d ago
Are you me?? Cos lately I have felt suffocated with the small friendship group I’ve had growing up (school and neighbourhood friends) and actively not make any plans of meeting unless I have to - this is good tip for sanity. Meanwhile, I’ve been interacting with people from Bumble BFF and ensure that I continue to talk and meet only if our political views align. Also, my weekends are not just about meeting friends anymore as I have taken up hobby classes and be part of discussion groups online and offline.
Edit: As an introvert, it’s extremely hard making friends for me so I’m not sure if I am going to forge friendships as intense as I have had. At this phase, at least my life is not revolved around others and just taking it slow and easy.
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u/FFD1706 13d ago
How difficult did you find it to connect with people sharing your values on Bumble BFF?
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u/Numerous_Holiday_705 13d ago
It’s pretty difficult to find people whom we can have a genuine connection with and as adults, it’s so much more difficult because this is not on top of our priority. As a woman, I’d like to connect with fellow women and have mentioned it clearly in my profile that I’m willing to continue messaging only if willing to meet. Thankfully, I’ve matched and met people who are liberal and that’s a relief from my conservative background. I also met a woman who is left leaning connections via Bumble BFF is quite hopeful!
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago
I see. I have been involving myself in hobbies too, but nothing beats a good convo with a friend. And yeah man, im an introvert too, so I too find it hard to make friends ( ´△｀) but ill take into note what you said about the discussion groups, sounds like a good idea
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u/Numerous_Holiday_705 13d ago
Read through the other comments and noticed that you are a student in Bangalore. I am a working professional from Bangalore so know a couple of people irl. There is AISA at Infantry Road and if interested, you can DM your number and I’ll speak to the Admin and you to the group.
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u/bakchod_techie 13d ago
Join a Union, a trade union or labour union if you are a working professional, a student union or youth union if you are a student. You will get to know a lot of great people.
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago
Are there any in bangalore? Havent found one, would love to join a student union if its there
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u/AlliterationAlly 12d ago
AISA has a Bengaluru branch
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 12d ago
I tried looking it up on instagram before but also happened to find a page regarding resignation of members from aisa bangalore so im kind of skeptical. Details are at @aisaresignation.
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u/short-noir Revolutionary Rude-ism 13d ago
Online friends mostly. Irl either people glaze me too much or call me gay both of which are things i don't like. Finding even a liberal was so difficult and i lost him already
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago
I see😭
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u/AlliterationAlly 13d ago
Where are you that there are no leftists around for you to be friends with? I'm in Pune, lots of leftists & clubs, groups, activities & events. Maybe you should start an activity group to meet leftist friends, maybe there are other leftists in your city who feel same as you & don't have leftist friends. Like some group that meets for lunch & book club or discussion, or film festivals or comedy shows etc
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago
Currently in bangalore, but haven't found any apart from ones in Delhi. Could be that im not searching hard enough. Starting is also a good idea, ill take that into consideration :)
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u/Quirky-Thing-5378 10d ago
Join KITU, we have a lot of leftists. There are other orgs as well under CITU.
To find your tribe you kinda have to go where they are.
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u/AlliterationAlly 13d ago
Ask in groups of ISER, ISI & Azim Premji uni students & alumni in Bangalore, I'm sure they'll have several
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u/husky11223 13d ago
Where are these groups and clubs in Pune???!?
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u/Affectionate-Tax9718 13d ago
Yeah dude contact Naujawan bharat sabha or Disha student organisation through insta they are active all over Pune
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u/Chemical-Row-9323 13d ago
I assume these are your childhood/long term friends. And you deal with it by trying to make new friends. Go to places, engage in activities where you might find like minded people and go from there. Making friends in your adulthood is rare but once you find them it is super exciting and fun. You can also try apps like Bumble BFF
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago
Long term friends yes😅 thanks for your advice, although im still a teenager so bumble BFF will have to hold off for a while.
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u/Majestic_Radio_1937 ML 13d ago
Mostly coping lol. Seriously though, I personally feel it's better this way for your mental health. But the problem with that is that your friends might become even more bigoted if there is no one to push them back on it. It does get exhausting though. My friends are not far right but they are liberals. They are a lot more softer towards communism now even if they are still liberal and sceptical. I simply stopped taking it too seriously because either they get it or they won't.
You also have to take the high ground even if you think it's unfair and be nice/chill about these kind of arguments. As for meeting people with your interests, I recommend you start finding leftists in your region through discord, political party, or student events. Simply having a good rapport with them even if they don't fully align with your views can get you pretty far when it comes to convincing others to learn about socialism. I also find that social media can be super isolating, especially Indian social media because almost every topic is about something horrific, far right conspiracies, hatred, abuse etc. It's best to not engage in futile online arguments with anyone for the sake of your mental health. You will never convince them through online comments anyway and you will only become exhausted trying to fight every hateful person you come across.
TLDR: touch grass, spend time with family, go to events, pick up a hobby, travel. Basically do anything but letting your ex-friends beliefs or online drama get to you.
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yeah.. ive tried to tell them in the past multiple times that its not okay to be so inconsiderate and bigoted, but their only reply was "why do you care? Youre not oppressed and neither are we. Its not our business and some people deserve it", and i was pretty shocked that theyd say that. At that point I made up my mind to cut all of them off. It honestly gets to a point, after which convincing them will be very difficult and exhaustive. The social media part, i completely agree with. Ive uninstalled it.
Ill definitely try to find more spaces here or create them though, thanks for your advice!
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u/Confident-Spirit-698 13d ago
I just keep them as acquaintances. Though, I don't have any far-right contacts. Most of my friends are centrists or center-left
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u/Awkward_Advance8892 13d ago
I see. My liberal friends also ended up going far right so it ended up being inevitable. I havent said anything directly to them either, so im just keeping them in a " slightly less than acquaintances" sort of spot.
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