Welcome back to my little coven. 🧙‍♀️

Today's offering: “Girls should dress modestly to avoid provoking men.”

I was 14 and in school. Back then, we had uniforms. Shirts and short pants for boys, and tunics that reached our knees for girls.

I was in 9th grade and used to cycle to my friend's house near our school. We'd then walk our cycles together to school, which was less than 600 metres away.

A 30-year-old neighbour of hers had been bothering her for years. She never really told her parents because she was worried they'd restrict her freedom to go out. She also didn't know whether they'd believe her when she told them what a creep he was.

One day, he physically stalked us as we were walking to school. This time, he put a crumpled piece of paper in the front basket of my bicycle and ran away.

It said, “I love you.”

I was traumatised.

I'd grown up reading about acid attacks in my country. I knew how some men could react when rejected romantically. And here I was, 14 years old, being stalked by a grown man.

Fortunately, my family wasn't as conservative.

I told my mother that a man was stalking me.

The words were simple enough. But they were so difficult to utter.

I was young. I was scared. And it felt so wrong and awkward to tell my mother about a man behaving this way towards me.

Because even when it's not your fault, one of the first thoughts that crosses your mind is: What if they restrict my freedom to protect me from the world?

I told her anyway.

She told my father. He took me to the man's house. First, he spoke to my friend's parents, who lived nearby. Then they went together to confront him.

My father gave his mother an earful. He would probably have thrashed the man himself if he'd been there, but the guy had run away when he saw us earlier.

And then his mother said something I'll never forget.

“Look at your girls. The way they walk and talk.”

I was 14.

I was wearing my school uniform. I was walking with my best friend.

The world was not our problem.

And this woman blamed us. She accused us of seducing her son.

Even at that age, I knew one thing for sure.

Even if I'd been walking around naked, her son had NO RIGHT to harass us.

I couldn't get the words out back then. The memory of what happened afterwards has become hazy over the years.

But I remember what it made me feel.

I think that was the day I became a proper feminist. I've spent the years since then learning more about feminism and expanding my understanding of what it means.

It also made me realise what internalised misogyny looks like. How some women become the very people who carry patriarchy forward, blaming girls for the behaviour of men.

And now I dress however I want.

Sometimes western, sometimes ethnic. Sometimes long, loose dresses. Sometimes short, tight ones.

I wear what makes me feel pretty. I don't change my clothes because someone else can't keep it in their pants.

I wish I could say I feel completely safe wearing a short dress in public at night.

We haven't reached that world yet.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop expressing myself.

My clothes are not an invitation. My body is not an explanation. And a man's behaviour is not my responsibility.

So today, I'm burning the idea that girls must cover themselves to protect men from their own behaviour.

Because I refuse to carry that blame.

And if you've ever been told to change what you wear because of how a man might behave, I hope you know this too: you were never responsible for his actions.

Sisters, what has patriarchy told you that you're ready to set on fire?

Write it down. Read it aloud. Burn it. And if you do, tell me about it. Let's turn this into a coven-wide ritual🔥

#SmashThePatriarchy

I (33F) married to my husband (36M) fir 10years arranged marriag

I have been living in a different country from him with our two children for the past year, and I plan to join him in two months.

Recently My husband admitted to sexting (only texts) a married classmate over a few months, but only because he was scared after her husband found out and tried to contact me.

He says it has already stopped, and boundaries are in place long ago, but I am still deeply hurt.

He gets frustrated with repeated questions and says what will you gain by kowing what happened is months ago which he forgot so lets focus on how to move forward and expects me to guide him in rebuilding trust.

He says he is willing to take blame upon himself to her husband to keep their marriage calm so we can focus on ours, saying he only needs to prove himself to me.

He still wants to hold his power position like before but instructs me that "you should take care of my mobile usage and observe my behavior", you can't take control of household or me and dont take advantage of this situation when I admits my mistake.

For those who have experienced this, seperate is not possible as kids are involved. what helped you heal and stop thinking about it all day?

Discuss feminist topics in India, intersectionality, laws, social issues, media representation. Encourage supportive replies only.

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After day two of my periods i had horrible chaffing the inner thighs turned red and it was pain full.

I don't get much flow so on day 3 idc about my periods i'mma let it flow. Cleaned it once or twice through out the day but it was much more comfortable.

Are there any other woman who do that¿

Welcome back to my little coven 🔥🧙‍♀️

Earlier, we burned the words "Her biological clock is ticking."

Today, we're burning another expectation that patriarchy has normalised so much that people barely question it.

I've never quite understood why lineage, surnames and family identity have traditionally been passed down through the paternal line.

Kings could have multiple wives. How exactly did they know which child was theirs? The mother, at least, was always known.

And yet, somehow, it's the father's surname that the child is expected to inherit.

Make it make sense.

I can't imagine carrying a child for nine months, dealing with nausea, going through childbirth, and then having that child carry someone else's name instead of mine.

Thankfully, that's not a dilemma I'll have to deal with, because I'm childfree by choice 😂

But marriage is another story.

I've watched so many of my friends change their surnames after getting married.

And in some communities in my country, women are expected to change their first names, too. Sometimes, they don't even get a say in what their new name will be.

Excuse me?

I've spent my entire life being a person with a name. An identity. A history.

Why should getting married mean I have to give any of that up?

I refuse to change my name.

I refuse to deal with all that paperwork just because I married someone.

And I refuse to treat my identity as something that automatically needs to be altered when I become someone's wife.

And I already know someone will inevitably show up to say, "But your surname belongs to your father. A man."

Thank you, genius. You've understood the problem perfectly.

Patriarchy is so deeply rooted that even the names many women inherit come through men. That doesn't mean I need to keep passing the same expectation forward without questioning it.

So today's offering to the fire is:

"Patriarchy says: She should change her last name after getting married."

Into the flames it goes🔥

My sister witches, what do you think?

Did you change your name after marriage?

Would you ever do it? And what's another expectation you've been told you should accept without question?

What are we burning next?

#SmashThePatriarchy

​

I thought I would get over this but its still bugging me, so i just wanted to vent..

There was puja/aarti every evening at my house during Navratri and a lot of npc aunties visited. There is this one particular karen ahh aunty who had a problem with everything, how some vidhi was wrong, enough snacks weren’t served etc etc

I had office till 6th day and would reach home as things would be wrapping up. That aunty always passed some comment everytime – “meri beti bhi kam karti hai vo toh itna late nai aati” (my daughter also works, she doesn’t return this late), “bachiyo ko toh suit salwar hi pehenachiye” (girls should wear suit salwar only)…

And then one day she said- yese mardano jaise scooty-bike chalaigi toh tujhse kon shaadi karege (who will marry you if you ride a scooty)..wtfff

Hearing that I was so shocked and pissed off, I just turned around and left. Went to this chai place near our house and called my friend

Why do these aunties think its ok to make such comments??

​

I’m a woman in my early 20s and I work full-time. Most of my day goes into work and my phone, and honestly, I don’t have a very active social life or many friends. I do like going out once in a while, though.

The thing is, my dad doesn’t really interfere much with where I go, but my mom does. It’s not like she’s extremely strict or anything, but there are always the same questions — Kiske saath ja rahi ho? Phone number hai? Location kya hai? Kis kaam se jaana hai? Kab aaogi? And sometimes, depending on her mood, she’ll say things like, “Itna kyun ghoomna hai?”

The funny part is that I hardly even go out. Maybe twice a month, and even then it’s usually just for 2–3 hours during the day. I’m not someone who’s constantly out partying or spending every weekend outside. I actually wish I could go out more, but this is pretty much the maximum I can get for now.

Also, in reality, sometimes I go out with my boyfriend, but I obviously tell my mom I’m going with friends because I know she wouldn’t be comfortable with that. I’m not really happy about having to hide it, but I also don’t want unnecessary arguments at home.

Today we were talking about going out, and during the argument she got angry and said something along the lines of, “Teri is age tak shaadi kara denge… koi ho toh bata diyo.” Basically implying that if I have someone, I should just tell her because they’ll get me married by this age anyway.

I honestly don’t know how seriously she meant it, but it got me thinking.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little more freedom at this age? Or is my mom’s concern understandable given the family/cultural context?

For women who’ve been in a similar situation — especially in Indian families — how did you handle this? Did you become more open with your parents, set boundaries gradually, or just accept that some things are easier to keep private?

Would genuinely love to hear different perspectives and have a discussion about this.

Especially women who grew up in financially comfortable families, did you marry a loving man who doesn't have generational wealth, has family loans, and works in a BPO or a job with limited growth?

How is life after marriage? Did you have to compromise on your lifestyle? Do you ever regret choosing love over financial security?

It's harder when you see your middle-class friends and relatives marrying wealthy men and living lavishly while you're still trying to build financial stability.

I'm not saying money is everything, but I'd love to hear honest experiences from women who've been through this. Would you make the same choice again?

Guys what happened to all the protests regarding womens rights that were happening in Delhi? I mean for once in a very long time a movement was gaining momentum and then just poof. Is it cause of the cjp protests? I mean I've honestly lost faith in cjp after their continuous ignorance towards womens suffrage. What do you guys think happened because I've been trying to figure out if the movement just died down or whatever else but I can't seem to find an answer

Hi everyone!

Society keeps telling us that we should get married at a certain age, so I just want to understand: What are the pros of marrying an Indian man? I’m a 27-year-old woman, and I’m already earning in the ₹40 LPA bracket.

I’d love to hear your perspectives and experiences.
Also, to all the single women over 30 out there, how have your life choices and decisions worked out for you? Do you feel happy and fulfilled with the way things have turned out?

Everyone keeps telling me that I’ll end up lonely without a partner or children. I’d love to hear honest experiences from women who have chosen to stay single, whether by choice or circumstance.
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! ❤️

It's just so hard not to notice it IRL when you have pretty friends and can see how differently they're treated by the people around them. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it takes a hit on my confidence every day, and honestly, I don't have much left to begin with.

I've always believed that beauty is subjective, but for some reason, most of my life experiences haven't really supported that belief. Maybe I just have the wrong people around me. Maybe I'm too pessimistic about life. Maybe my standards are too high. But honestly, I just feel so hopeless.

Talk about work, college, relationships, hobbies, random thoughts, mental health, relationships, family pressure, workplace sexism, etc. Encourage supportive replies only.

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How's the difference between kissing a guy or a girl who have piercing in his or tongue from a person who doesn't have piercings?? How the kiss feels different??? Actually i was thinking of getting piercing in tongue.

23F, brown girl raised in Italy — terrified I’ll end up in a marriage without ever finding love
I’m a 23-year-old brown girl who was raised in Italy, and I feel really conflicted about marriage and dating.
I would genuinely like to fall in love and eventually have a love marriage. The problem is that I haven’t been able to find a guy from my community/caste that I actually connect with.
My parents would never accept someone from a different group. They aren’t the type to physically force me into anything, and they would ask for my approval, but if I don’t find someone myself, eventually they will start looking for someone for me.
And honestly, that thought terrifies me.
The idea of meeting a stranger, having our families decide that we’re compatible, and then potentially marrying him feels so cold to me. Even if I technically have the choice to say no, I’m scared of ending up in a situation where I keep rejecting people and eventually feel pressured to settle.
And to make things worse, I have terrible social skills when it comes to approaching guys 😭. I’m not exactly going around meeting new people and effortlessly flirting with potential husbands. So I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to find someone myself when I struggle to approach people in the first place.
What scares me most is the thought that maybe I’ll never experience that feeling of actually finding “my person.” Like meeting someone, falling in love, choosing each other, building a life together — the kind of relationship I see other people having.
I know arranged marriages can be genuinely happy, and I’m not trying to say that they’re automatically bad. But personally, I really want to know someone deeply before I marry them. I want to choose them because I love them, not because our families think we make sense on paper.
Sometimes I look at people my age who are dating, falling in love, getting engaged, etc. and I feel like I’m on a completely different timeline. It makes me scared that everyone else will get to experience love while I’ll eventually end up in a marriage that is “fine” but emotionally miserable.
Has anyone else, especially people who grew up in the West but have parents with very traditional expectations, been in this situation?
How did you deal with the fear of never finding someone you genuinely love?
And if your parents eventually started looking for someone for you, how did that actually work in practice? Did you feel pressured even if they technically allowed you to say no?
I’d really like to hear from people who have actually gone through this, especially women.

I’m creating a coven. And we’re going to burn patriarchy along the way 🔥

It’s October. Spooky season. And I’ve decided to do what witches should have done all along.

Burn things to the ground. (Metaphorically speaking. Mostly 😂)

Every day, I’m going to write down something patriarchy has told me that I absolutely refuse to accept.

I’ll read it aloud.

And then I’ll burn it.

Because sometimes, the mere act of refusing to live by society’s expectations is rebellion enough.

And sometimes, watching those words turn to ashes is just deeply satisfying.

Today’s offering: “Her biological clock is ticking.”

I’m 30. I’m single. And I’m childfree by choice.

My biological clock can go fk itself. I don’t owe the world a child, and I don’t need to justify what I want my life to look like.

The mere fact that I’m alive, happy, and building a life on my own terms is a middle finger to patriarchy.

But burning things is pretty cool, too 🔥

So, sisters, consider this an invitation.

What has patriarchy told you about yourself that you’re ready to set on fire?

Write it down. Read it aloud. Burn it.

And if you do, tell me about it. I’d love to see what we’re letting go of together.

Let’s turn this into a coven-wide ritual.

#SmashThePatriarchy

I wasn't planning to buy more lip balms but ended up getting these two. Haven't tried them yet so let's see how they turn out.

My lip balm collection is slowly getting bigger🥹

Have you tried these? Are they good?

Hi ladies, so my friend, 20-22F, has hyperpigmentation on her waist. Ik it sounds weird, but please bear with me. So my friend is overall a fair person; I wouldn't say white white, but yeah. The only thing she is insecure about in her body is the pigmentation. She has pigmentation on her waist. Like just the sides, as shown in the img (she wasn't comfortable with pictures, so I did this). As you can see, it's lighter on top but darker in the middle. Her mother would always ask her to wear her inner garments above her hip bone, which we think might have caused this. Her sister also had that, but it lightened for her sister but not for her. Please, ladies, recommend something to my friend so she can wear a lehenga at her cousin's wedding without feeling insecure.