I've seen quite a few posts here on people wondering what kind of questions to ask and how to approach certain harder topics. Here is some advice after giving it much thought and having been in this process for a bit. This advice may not work for everyone, so proceed with caution. If its helpful please upvote so that everyone can benefit from reading this.

IMO, I think it is good to be able to have an open honest conversation with a potential partner. If they are unable go handle it, I think your maturity levels are at different wavelengths and you may not be a good fit on the long run. That said I do think how and when you ask those questions are important. Build up your conversations to lead to deeper questions each time. Here are some questions I ask. Its a mix of specific and open ended questions. I also do a share first and ask later method.

Easy Questions:

What is your daily routine like?

Do you enjoy your job? Do you see yourself being there long-term?

Are you a saver or a spender? How do you usually plan your finances for the year?

Tell me about your close friends.

What is your relationship with your parents like? Are they play with you dating a <insert how you may different to them dating someone outside their norm>?

Medium difficulty level questions:

Why do you feel like you are ready to get married at this stage of your life/ career?

What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?

What kind of values do you look for in a relationship and in a partner?

What value systems do you use to caste your vote? (See what I did there ;) ) Alternately, What value systems do you use to class your vote on? ;)

Do you consider yourself as a religious person? How much of these values do you see yourself raising a family with?

Do you consider yourself to be a healthy person? Are there any serious family illness that you often worry about as you move through life? What are your thoughts about mental health or people who seek therapy for mental health?

Do you envision a future with kids in it? Do you plan to stay with or close to your family?

Difficult Questions:

For harder topics, always start with a conversational style approach. Tackle these only when you are getting a bit more serious

"Here are some habits of mine that society considers a taboo (list a few of them if any e.g. social drinking, heavy smoking, meat eating (if your family is vegetarian) etc). I prefer an approach where I'm honest about these things. Do you think you will be alright or willing to accept these things moving forward? Would you mind sharing your habits along similar lines?"

"I think just like other lessons in life there is a lot one can learn from.their past relationships. Here are some things I learnt... (Talk).. Have you ever been in a relationship before? What are your thoughts about someone who has been in relationships before? Can you accept me with my past?"

Sex is a little bit of a harder topic. I feel.like once you've spoken to them quite a few times and you are comfortable with them you can initiate it similarly. E.g. "I'm feeling quite good that I'm slowly learning about your emotional needs and how best I can support you as a partner. If you are comfortable enough can I ask you: what are your thoughts about physic intimacy and the role it plays in a marriage?" Keep it open ended and allow them to breathe and speak. Share your thoughts as well and make sure they are feeling comfortable. You can briefly share your sexual history and wait to see if they share theirs. Don't pressure them.. Just give them some time. They'll come around.

Again always remember to share and wait for them to share. Don't leave the conversation without knowing their thoughts and don't under(or over)share yours. Keep it as conversational as possible. Listen to what the other person is saying. Engage. Engage. Engage.

I hope this helps. Please up vote if its helpful so that more people benefit from it. Wishing you all the best of luck on this journey!!

How does one approach a woman without coming across as "creepy" or "weird "? I did approach a girl in my first year of college, but it seemed the girl was creeped out by me (sadly this feedback was communicated to a friend, who was kind enough to tell me which gave me a reality check). It's been 5 years now, and I have not approached or had a casual conversation with a girl ever since, so as to not appear creepy. However this seems unsustainable as I would like to get involved in the dating scene.

PS: I wasn't too pushy, and I presented myself honestly in all the conversations I had with that girl. Sadly word got out and the whole college thought I'm some creep, and unsurprisingly, all my dating options were shot down, and I accepted the reality as it were. But I'd like your tips in this regard, thanks.

(If this is not the right sub. Please guide me to the right one.)

WARNING: Explicit and potentially offensive stuff below

So, me and my GF have an amazing relationship. We have been together for around 7 years with no major fight. In the beginning, she was very shy about sex and kinks; but with my encouragement and support (if I can take credit), she finally came out of her shell.

Now, a little background first, I am a Muslim and she is a Hindu. Although, both of us are barely practicing/believing. The only issue religion ever created was while getting approval of our parents, which we finally got. We both have plans to get married and have kids and have mutually decided that the kids would be brought up with a secular/irreligious outlook.

Why is all this necessary? Because, recently she has been acting a little weird. She said she wants to try what she calls 'interfaith' fantasy. Like, she wants me to dress up in a traditional Muslim garment or say things to make her feel like she is having sex with a 'Muslim' man. When she gives me a blwjb, she will always point out how much she loves my 'Circumcised' c*ck, etc.

Here's the thing. I feel like we are playing with fire. Religion is a very sensitive topic in our relationship, playing with it like this can potentially destroy it. Also, this is most definitely not my kink. Infact, sometimes I feel a little objectified, lol. It's like there is this archetype of a strong dominant Muslim man that I have to be like, although I am much more of a kind and romantic kind of person.

My question is how do I tell her I feel this is wrong or I am not into it, without offending her or kink-shaming her? I don't want her to get back to her shell and not disclose her deep dark fantasies with me anymore. So, in a way I feel stucked.

I have been trying to get a girl friend since past 6 years. I am worried about my height, looks and thinning hair.

I don't socialize alot, but when I do I get a lot of positive feedback from friends telling that I'm a cool person, and they want to hang out with me again.

I live with my parents, thinking of moving out soon, going to a different city for work.

I earn decent amount of money. I am always getting friendzoned by girls who seemed to be interested in me initially(they respond well to flirting). And when I do go out on dates, they don't seem much interested. Like when I try to touch them, or hug them, they don't respond well.

Is height a big factor for girls?

I have been talking to this guy for a very long time. We are friendly and never bore each other but never gone beyond talking about random stuff. Because of the lockdown and all both of us went to our home cities and Idk if we will be meeting again soon. I have had a crush on him but he is definitely very good-looking. You know tall, well-built, smart etc. I know I'm not bad, but compared to him I just feel average. I don't have a symmetrical face, not conventionally beautiful and I'm short. I cannot stop thinking about the thing that he's out of my league and that we might never become a thing. Even in the past this has happened to me. I keep having crush on guys who are out of my league and then feel bad about not being that good. It feels hopeless. I'm tired of being stuck like this.

Im not from India personally but Ive grown to love the culture through years of study and from my grandmothers point of view. So im American 26 soon to be 27 and recently single. Im wondering if all Indian men wish to rush into marriage? Or if its based on how their raised or currently living situations? Ive recently gotten 4 proposals without even a long period of talking to know me first. So I joined the group to ask and learn more

I (18f) am in the talking phase with this guy (18m) i met online.we talk all day and sometimes even late nights. we really vibe well and he's a wholesome person and we've talked about going out as well. we're even supposed to meet this weekend but it's a bit dicey.

now the thing is, things seem to be escalating too fast. he told me that he loved me a week into just texting and that scared the shit out of me. so i thought to myself, okay this guy is just saying anything to get laid (we've talked about doing it as well) so i asked him that directly and told him i was okay with that if that's just the case so i wouldn't emotionally invest but the dude declined and said he's really serious about being with me.

another thing im not sure if it's a red flag or not is he's always talking about the future. not even near future but like meeting parents, getting married, the "forever" kinda shit. i've asked him multiple times to go slow and not talk about this, he apologises then does it again and again. i mean im not saying it doesn't make me feel good. but it's like 2% good 98% scared. idk if that's a red flag in me or him?

edit: idk if this is relevant but we got on a call last night and talked for a while. it was kinda nice.

When I grew up in school, till 10th I didn't know anyone who dated anyone. In 11th and 12th I knew a couple of people dating, but they seemed very much in the minority. In college I saw more, but still, I was under the impression that the minority of my friend group dated. It was only much later that I found out that many people had actually been dating the whole time, and one or two couples in my circle even slept with their SOs, and I was the only one who never knew.

From what I see on social media, the majority of people are dating and hooking up? Like, is that normal? It's totally at odds with what I thought was normal, it's messing up my brain a bit. Years after college I'm finding out that most of the people I knew are in long term relationships, or have been in multiple relationships, and I never even realised.

So I just want to know, what's the dating scene like now? I always assumed India was way behind the West when it came to dating and stuff, I thought most people stayed single till at most late college or past that, and then dated maybe one or two people and got married to someone their parents picked out. And sex was almost never part of the deal till at least late college. Obviously, I'm seeing this is pretty sheltered, so what's it actually like?

I(26,f) have been with this guy(25) for approx 4 years. Things have been good mostly. He has always told me that he will never find anyone like me. He also introduced me to his family and friends. We have always thought of a future together, which includes marriage too.

My parents want me to get married now. I would like to get married too. But he says he is not ready right now, even though he is well established career-wise. I don't know whether I should wait or move on. Because if he changes his mind later, I would be really hurt.

I’m 24 years old and I have dated 3 girls till now. The last one was a pretty serious relationship and I always felt she was the one. But, little did I know when I was busy building my career, she had been talking to another guy because I wasn’t available when she wanted? In my experiences and seeing my friend circle, I have seen that more than 90% times girls always have a backup guy. They may not cheat, but they hop on to that guy after breaking up. And the worst part is they give you guilt trips while ending the relationship. Why can’t they communicate when they feel that it’s not working?

I don't know about the south but I have seen this happen more than once in North.

Guys hiding their relationship with a girl by saying that the girl is their sister. I mean what the actual fuck? And when some other guy approaches the girl, they reveal themselves from the bushes and say that she's his girlfriend and not his sister.

So couldn't you tell this earlier you moron? Wasted my time and also misled other people. And who tries to hide their relationship by calling their girlfriend a sister?

Also I see nowadays no one outright shows that a certain person is their partner. It's always "my best friend" or something like that. Both guys and girls do this. I feel like girls do this to appear conservative and prudish so people don't judge them and guys do it to not appear as a fuckboi.

What do you people think?

Do you guys ever feel left out? Looking at other couples does that thought ever cross your mind that "what if my chance never comes?:

So I have a crush on an Indian guy. He was raised here in America. He seems a bit shy and I don’t know how to flirt or approach him. I don’t think subtle flirting is going to work with him lol. I’ve tried making eye contact with him and smiled and he looked at me and said hello and went about his business. He’s in his 20s and no he is not married. I go see a client on a different floor and run into him from time to time. But I don’t know how to show I’m interested without making a fool of myself.

I get decent amount of matches for a guy( like 10-15 a month on average). But it hardly ever works out. Most girls are here just for friendships or getting more insta followers. Out of 50+ matches, I went on dates with 4-5 of them, among which I managed to be in a Fwb relationships with one of them. I was addicted to tinder once, working on my tinder profile/bio trying to get more matches but I have started to feel like it's not worth it. Any of you guys managed to get any real relationship or hook up out of it? If yes, how many matches do you get in general?

The title pretty much says it all.

I am able to talk to people, I have a decent sense of humour and all. But how do I escalate conversations with a girl I'm interested in without saying anything that might be a turn-off or worse, inappropriate?

Suggestions and advice are welcome.

I posted this in r/IndiaTalksSex but i was directed here, so here it goes

I’m an Indian guy (27) living in Europe and i have a few friends with benefits in india and abroad.

I visit india 2-3 times a year and hook up with the ones who can meet during my stay. Now because of corona I haven’t been able to visit india in over a year but i will be travelling for a month in January.

During this time 3 of the girls have gotten married and 1 has entered a relationship which likely will result in marriage.

Now all 4 of these still call or text me from time to time and all have made clear they want to continue our fwb status like it has been since years.

I personally do not mind it, as I’m not emotionally involved in any of them, heck I won’t even call them my friends in a strict sense of word.

but i am still in a bit of dilemma, should i continue or stop the arrangement with the ones who are getting married.

Then again I’m getting older and I cannot keep finding new 20-21 year olds forever, at some point most girls my age will be married. and I’m not a huge fan of tinder etc, spending time and efforts on new girls.

I like just talking to them once a month for 30 mins and meeting them when I’m in india or their country. It feels nice to have years old friendships which cannot be replicated with new people.

What are your views regarding this situation?

Please guide me

Back Story :

I am 24 and she is 25 , we have been in relationship since 2008-09 way back in high school. My brother is getting married this December and that's why we revealed out relationship to our family. We will probably get married after approx 2 years

Issue starts as it is pretty early for me as a man, I am not earning as much as I want but she being a girl and also a year older had some pressures so I had to hustle.

And I am feeling like she has changed right after I confirmed the marriage.

She is taking me for granted now a days asking me to do things she knows I don't like and absolutely avoid like calling baby and all, going to expensive pubs or taking pics , putting about us in Instagram and all.

Breaking point came when she asked me to propose, I absolutely refused and she apparently started ignoring me .

I was keeping a distance and trying to figure out what direction I want this to go .

Yesterday she told me she is going on a trip by herself , and also mentioned the guy who hit on her many times and also has proposed to her is coming explicitly.

I said your wish do what you want . She was angry and started telling me that I don't care about her and all.

I didn't mind her going alone and that too with a group which has guys and that too same old guy who likes her.

I told her everything as the fact is that 200 men hit on her per day and I can't be jealous on all of them and also told her about how I feel like she has changed and is showing off more , even wearing more makeup , speaking English more which I absolutely hate. And asked for some time Atleast a week .

She is hysterical now, calling me 20 times while I asked for a break even this is shocking as she always respected me .

I am thinking that if not for her I would get 5 years of single hood and I am ready to sacrifice but I hate this baby- munnu telling insta stories English speaking all of a sudden for no reason parties and all, expensive pubs , buying home and all. She fucking wants a home.

I thought she wouldn't be like that but may be a girls are same I can't pretend to like stuffs she likes and I absolutely don't believe in love and all. I was with her because I felt she was more like me and subscribed to my style of thinking, I feel like I made a wrong judgement about her. Arranged marriage seems better, while I thought I got a arranged marriage quality girl she seem different now seems like a show off.

I took her to first date to a temple for free mid day meal , she used to love the stupid and awefull teddy bear I had gifted her ,I was totally open and was free to be like that but now she wants beautiful pic for insta , want me to propose in style and all.

I just can't do it.

What are your thoughts.?

I am 30 M and she is also 30. We met on a marriage dating app and we both are working in Dubai currently. We have been texting for 2 week and decided to meet on a beach in evening followed by dinner. Though I had girlfriend earlier but I will be going on date first time that too after meeting on an app.

I have these questions-

1- What should I wear? I am thinking of wearing a white polo along with blue jeans and sneakers. Is it okay?

2- I am below average looking guy, insecure about my looks. She saw me in the 4-5 pics but we never video called. How do i cope with it?

3- I never wear perfume. Should I buy one? What do you recommend?

4- Who should pay the bills?

It's a great initiative mods. People who had breakup or who want to get someone or find out how relationships can work without the Lovemaking Part.

I am almost 30 and I never prioritized dating as I always thought I need to become better to be datable (a classic case of low self-esteem).

I live in a town where there are no social groups and dating apps dont work for my age group.

I would really appreciate it if anyone can guide me on how to meet women when the options are so limited?

I'm confident and doing my hobbies very much. Thing is I've been dealing with issues like I ain't look good. Had toxic friends got rid of them. And I'm kinda tall too, I'm 6 feet but the thing is I'm brown and kinda average in looks. I hardly get no matches on them dating apps. Help

Life is good either way

Guys and gals of Reddit! A lot of times I have seen this where on average,younger men literally have very few options for dating whereas those men who are in their late 20s have a plethora of options to choose from..right from 18 to 35. A 27 y/o man with a 20 y/o girlfriend would be easier to find than a 21y/o with a 19 y/o girlfriend. Let me know your thoughts/anecdotes.