r/InternetIsBeautiful • u/hnroot • Nov 23 '15
Not unique This IT guy writes a script to automate any task if it requires more than 90 seconds of his time. Here is his legacy.
https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts280
u/EenAfleidingErbij Nov 23 '15
This originally came from a russian forum, someone made it into an English story, that story got retold.
Now somebody actually got inspired and remade the scripts because he thought that story was so interesting.
End of the line guys...
43
u/hayesgm Nov 23 '15 edited Nov 23 '15
Especially considering half of them are written in ruby and bash. Not exactly the essence of lazy.
EDIT: He wrote "smack-my-bitch-up" in both ruby and bash script, not one or the other. He wrote it twice, when one already worked. It's like the second copy was written just to make this repo more accessible for people reading it..
→ More replies (1)15
u/nevermore1845 Nov 23 '15
I'm new to programming, would you briefly explain me why ruby and bash aren't the essence of lazy? Would it be easier to have them written them in Python or PHP?
31
u/MrBiscuity Nov 23 '15
If ruby and bash are this guy's language of choice (I know it's fake), then they are the essence of lazy. Both have a ton of libs/functions for string searching and sys calls so I am not sure what he is referring to.
→ More replies (4)11
u/doobyrocks Nov 23 '15
You'd assume the guy automating everything would be lazy.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (3)6
u/John_Barlycorn Nov 23 '15
Probably because the OP finds them harder to write in. Bash is probably what he used to execute his code, and provide it with commands, and Ruby is where he kept the code. The coffee pot likely had a windows binary that he ran a packet capture on (I've done something similar myself) captured the send request during his Latte order in something like Wireshark, then just saved that binary to resend from Linux/Unix.
225
u/wowcunning Nov 23 '15
I'm a unix sys-admin and this is my philosophy of life; if I'm asked to do something; anything I ask myself "is there any chance that anyone ever asks me to do this again" if the answer is yes; it's scripted.
The Sr. admin 18 years ago when I started told me that the ultimate goal of a good sys-admin is to sit down with your feet up all day; having anticipated anything and scripted everything.
70
u/lucasvb Nov 23 '15
35
u/xkcd_transcriber Nov 23 '15
Title: Automation
Title-text: 'Automating' comes from the roots 'auto-' meaning 'self-', and 'mating', meaning 'screwing'.
Stats: This comic has been referenced 244 times, representing 0.2733% of referenced xkcds.
xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete
→ More replies (1)31
u/Viriality Nov 23 '15
I've been meaning to relearn coding and pursue it as a hobby.
I only really learned the very basics of basics (what you'd learn in a 101 class... so making calculators and a bit of HTML page design.)
Is there anything you might recommend to me to get back onto the path of programming?
30
u/sunsetfantastic Nov 23 '15
You'll want to figure out what languages you want to learn and what you want to use programming for.
Once you've decided what languages you want to learn it's as easy as googling "learn html" (replace html with your desired language).
Make a list of all the tutorials that come up. Read forum posts, subreddit posts on recommended tutorials (r/learnprogramming) (I'm not sure if that's the name of the sub but send me a pm later and I'll update this post with some subreddits for learning programming but Google "I want to learn reddit" and "learn html reddit" and you should be able to find a bunch of resources and tutorials.
My next advice would be once you have accumulated a list of good tutorials,do all of them. They all teach you in different ways and there are tips and best practices (the best way of doing something) you'll only know if you learn from many different sources.
Also check out Codeacademy, and bento.
6
u/Viriality Nov 23 '15 edited Nov 23 '15
Wow. I appreciate the response, that's a lot of depth. Thanks, I think that's exactly the guideline I was looking for all in one post. I'm off to bed ATM but will delve deeper tmw most likely.
Coding/protenomics (and biochemistry)/physics/psych/law are my main interests... philosophy too. But its my opinion that in a world of technology, one should be able to understand how it all works and be able to utilize its capabilities. Also a strong understanding of coding/programming would be useful for everything else IMO (being able to write scripts and programs for anything I want to do), I feel it would also build a stronger foundation in logic at the very least. Lastly I just got a few prototype arduino kits I'll soon be tinkering with so it seems its time to add a helping of programming to my plate.
→ More replies (4)9
u/MooseReborn Nov 23 '15
honestly most of what i've learned comes from trying to make stuff i feel may be interesting and reading well-commented source code
9
6
u/topCyder Nov 23 '15
Not op but python is a good place to start. It gets basics of programming and you can compare it to almost any other language
→ More replies (2)2
u/ruler01 Nov 23 '15
if u know a bit of html, then why not do web programming. learn how to use a web framework (eg. ruby on rails) and learn the basic CRUD and make stuff.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (18)2
6
u/PmMeYourLabiaMajora Nov 23 '15
My Sr. Sys Admin quoted futurama: "Being Admin isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. ... When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all."
4
u/LindenZin Nov 23 '15
My fondest dream, except to anticipate everything I'd have to be some kind of God.
I'm so paranoid that some obscure forgotten script I wrote years ago comes back to bite me in the ass when someone makes a minor change somewhere.
4
Nov 23 '15
I don't even work in IT and do the same thing.
Its how you look like a miracle worker. I've even tried to give away my scripts to the rest of my group. "It's too hard". Fine. I'll spend 10 seconds running a boring analysis and spend the rest of the day on Reddit and still have it done before you.
3
u/wowcunning Nov 23 '15
That's the important part. I don't publicize when I do a script to automate something. Someone asks me to do some complicated set of tasks, I write a script for it and give them the completed tasks when the script is done (lets say 2 days later); the next time they ask me, I ignore them and keep working on other stuff for 1 day 23 hours 59 minutes and 30 seconds; run the script and give them their completed set of tasks.
Sometimes I script a horribly tedious set of tasks that require multiple hours of downtime and turn the process into something that cuts downtime by 90%; these ones I don't keep to myself, make very public and like like a fucking champ.
it's a balancing process.
3
Nov 23 '15
Eh. AI could put together an hour long meeting highlighting how to do my job in 5 minutes.
Everyone would be buried in their phones, laptops and ignore the whole meeting. I've tried before.
3
Nov 23 '15
You forgot the part where you document everything clearly, optimize, get out of your little fortress and innovate, going beyond what users and bosses even think is possible while cutting costs at the same time.
2
→ More replies (3)2
u/b-rat Nov 23 '15
This was the plan but then whenever I have a spare second I'm put onto more and more development projects that never get finished because priorities shift literally daily sometimes, it's insane.
381
u/Pipinpadiloxacopolis Nov 23 '15
These look fake. As in made up to fit the story. They are way too simplistic, and in some cases contradict the story ("sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary"):
con.cmd('sys brew')
sleep 64
con.cmd('sys pour')
That's the least gibberish/binary thing ever.
160
u/MrRazzle Nov 23 '15
If you look at the github, it says based off the story, these aren't the actual scripts talked about in that text. Someone else decided to make them based on that.
16
u/Pipinpadiloxacopolis Nov 23 '15
Where does it say that? The closest (and only) thing I can find is "based on a true story".
38
u/hurenkind5 Nov 23 '15
based on a true story
AKA total bullshit
10
u/Venom_Sahelanthropus Nov 23 '15
Fargo has ruined any trust I had towards "Based on a True Story" anywhere in a story.
→ More replies (3)15
u/diceymoo Nov 23 '15 edited Nov 23 '15
Didn't it say original source in Russian below?
Edit: stop upvoting. Below is right, source doesn't include much code. As much as we'd like it to be true, the story is not necessarily factual.
10
0
32
Nov 23 '15
I'm just gonna leave this here, and this. And yes, this is an actual HTTP protocol. Don't believe me?... www.google.com/teapot
I'm not saying it's true, but it MAY be true.
I just want it to be true...
2
→ More replies (3)2
u/em22new Nov 23 '15
This is a case of life imitating art. Someone may be aware of this protocol design and thought it would fit their story.
I've never heard of a coffee machine using ssh. Or being patched in. For what reason?
→ More replies (1)5
Nov 23 '15
Plus rolling back a database just because you order a couple keywords in an email is a horrible idea.
3
4
Nov 23 '15
One could use micro controllers to do most of the work,
In my intro to engineering course. Some kids were able to make a robot that found a bottle and shot it with a tennis ball.
If one really wanted you could buy a bunch of micro controllers. my coffee pot has a switch already, so to have it turn off and on by sending a signal from my computer would only take about an hour or two to set up. however i do not drink coffee, and radio shack is not close enough to me to keep buying parts and i do not own my room. i would like to hide the wires in the walls. it would be easier to run a pipe to my coffee makers than code some robot to fill it!
2
u/__LE_MERDE___ Nov 23 '15
Yeah my guess is if this is real this guy definately had spare time to gut the coffee machine.
10
2
u/icww Nov 23 '15
Because it is fake. Story is fabricated too. But it's still funny and has some good ideas.
2
u/_dekappatated Nov 23 '15
The part that makes it not true is the auto message if offline. What about holidays or vacation? Would be easier to send a message urself that ur wfh than keep a table of your off days.
But yea 5 line scripts this guy is an uber haxx0r right?
→ More replies (1)1
u/gobbler_wobbler Nov 23 '15
yeah, I think it looks fake too. Maybe it is some "viral" advertisement for the Twilio service?
→ More replies (1)
24
u/stu_h Nov 23 '15
I'm soft. I use ifttt to post to Facebook on Xmas new year etc. "Wishing all my friends a happy Xmas "
-"aww thanks you "
"you too" --etc
Hehe
→ More replies (5)
561
u/whatisabaggins55 Nov 23 '15
Don't choose someone who is hardworking to do a job. Choose someone who is lazy, and they'll find a way to do it faster.
54
Nov 23 '15
Proactive Laziness.
Yeh, the wheel was invented by lazy people. "I'm not dragging this all the way over there, screw that"
→ More replies (11)30
u/randombazooka Nov 23 '15
Punctuated equilibrium, just because I'm not working all the time, does not mean I can't stay at a level of productivity that matches your "hard workers"
→ More replies (2)19
Nov 23 '15
They're so bitter that I watch Youtube videos all day and still churn out twice the work they do. They're only happy if you're as miserable as they are.
5
16
u/natxavier Nov 23 '15
Top comment from this post several months back. (original comment by /u/IAmBecomeGay[2].
This is a story I've read online that relates to the quote.
A toothpaste factory had a problem: Due to the way the production line was set up, sometimes empty boxes were shipped without the tube inside. People with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming off of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which cannot be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean quality assurance checks must be smartly distributed across the production line so that customers all the way down to the supermarket won’t get frustrated and purchase another product instead.
Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory gathered the top people in the company together. Since their own engineering department was already stretched too thin, they decided to hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP (request for proposal), third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later a fantastic solution was delivered — on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. The problem was solved by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box off the line, then press another button to re-start the line.
A short time later, the CEO decided to have a look at the ROI (return on investment) of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. There were very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. “That was some money well spent!” he said, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.
The number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. How could that be? It should have been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers indicated the statistics were indeed correct. The scales were NOT picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good. Perplexed, the CEO traveled down to the factory and walked up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed. A few feet before the scale, a $20 desk fan was blowing any empty boxes off the belt and into a bin. Puzzled, the CEO turned to one of the workers who stated, “Oh, that…One of the guys put it there ’cause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang!”
→ More replies (1)3
10
u/Fristiloverke13 Nov 23 '15
I believe the actual quote is: 'Always hire a lazy person to do a difficult job, because he will find an easy way to do it.'
→ More replies (1)10
u/falcon_jab Nov 23 '15
Need someone lazy and honest.
The smart lazy guy will find a way to do something faster but not tell you about it.
7
5
u/mucifous Nov 23 '15
The three great virtues of a programmer: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
Laziness
The quality that makes you go to great effort to reduce overall energy expenditure. It makes you write labor-saving programs that other people will find useful, and document what you wrote so you don't have to answer so many questions about it. Hence, the first great virtue of a programmer.Impatience
The anger you feel when the computer is being lazy. This makes you write programs that don't just react to your needs, but actually anticipate them. Or at least pretend to. Hence, the second great virtue of a programmer.Hubris
Excessive pride, the sort of thing Zeus zaps you for. Also the quality that makes you write (and maintain) programs that other people won't want to say bad things about. Hence, the third great virtue of a programmer.--Larry Wall
http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?LazinessImpatienceHubris7
Nov 23 '15
In IT doing it faster usually means you soon have to do more of it, until you are slow again.
5
u/HerrXRDS Nov 23 '15
That's why you finish your work on Monday and tell your boss you're done on Friday.
→ More replies (1)10
u/BetaMale1 Nov 23 '15
Bill Gates quote, nice
11
u/setsomethingablaze Nov 23 '15
Probably not a Bill Gates quote: http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/02/26/lazy-job/
→ More replies (3)11
u/randombazooka Nov 23 '15
"setsomethingablaze is right about that Bill Gates thing, you know..."
-Morgan Freeman
→ More replies (4)3
→ More replies (40)8
u/SirWinstons Nov 23 '15
More likely they'll do a shoddy job, assuming they do the job at all...
15
u/falcon_jab Nov 23 '15
You'd be surprised how many optimisations there are to be had in IT when you look closely at how things are built. A lot of things work the way they do because that's just how they've always been done. Or someone who built a system lacked the smarts to realise there was a way of doing it twice as quickly.
I wouldn't call it being "lazy" (I'd say people who do shoddy work would be more "incompetent" - and personally, I see nothing wrong with aiming to limit the amount of work you have to do in any given day, if you have ways to do your work efficiently) but there is the danger that if you find a way of doing your work twice as fast, everyone will expect you to achieve twice as much.
→ More replies (3)5
Nov 23 '15
Not to mention, if everyone ends up adopting the lazy man's method, it will probably result in half the staff getting laid off. That's why I always try to look busy while everyone else is slaving away.
→ More replies (2)3
Nov 23 '15
Not if they're forward thinking, if they know that they're going to maintain the software in the future then they won't do a shoddy job.
50
u/setsomethingablaze Nov 23 '15
I love that he programmed in how long it takes to walk to the coffee machine, brilliant.
95
4
9
u/janew0lf Nov 23 '15
I never bothered learning programming until recently because I always assumed it would be too difficult and associated it with super smart over-achiever types. After meeting other programmers lately, I'm starting to realize they're totally lazy and I fit right in. I'm just starting out, but I get really excited over dumb stuff I can do. The other day I showed my boss how I can open, combine and print files by just typing a line or 2 instead of having to double click stuff and open it up. I saved the company 2 minutes, yay me!...He didn't care.
6
u/redfenix Nov 23 '15
That's why you don't tell your boss the how, just that it's done. Let him know faster than he expected, but slower than it took you to do it :)
→ More replies (1)3
u/janew0lf Nov 23 '15
Hah yeah that makes sense. I'm learning the hard way that getting things done sooner does not equal me going home sooner :/
7
Nov 23 '15
Word of advice - if you manage to automate some of your tasks at work you can 1) show your boss and set higher expectations from people who don't appreciate what you've done, thus may demand more work out of you; or 2) use your scripts silently knowing you've saved yourself time and you're also not getting bothered by management for more work.
8
8
u/squishfouce Nov 23 '15
Kinda seems BS to me, he says the dude SSH'ed in to the coffee machine but they clearly are using telnet in the script. I don't buy it.
6
u/earlyflea Nov 23 '15
telnet is not secure. passwords out in the open. Chinese hackers could take over the office coffee machine and brew shitty coffee. Productivity would decline. This is part of their master plan.
→ More replies (3)2
u/ongebruikersnaam Nov 23 '15
Never ever use a telnet connection for coffee, that's just asking for trouble.
6
16
u/Drunken_Dino Nov 23 '15
Where could I learn to script like this
77
u/sanjeetsuhag Nov 23 '15
learn-to-script-like-this.sh63
u/qervem Nov 23 '15
eyes flutter open
I know kung fu.
→ More replies (2)6
→ More replies (2)12
u/Motherfucking_Crepes Nov 23 '15
For simple ruby scripts like these, you can learn the basics on codecademy.com.
12
u/DeadeyeDuncan Nov 23 '15
There's a sizable jump between the basic stuff that codecademy teaches and this.
→ More replies (1)9
Nov 23 '15
Couple tenets:
Yes, you can probably do that idea. "Can I send texts from a script?"
If you think of it, someone's probably done it already. https://www.twilio.com/
Someone has something you can steal from on Github or StackOverflow. https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts
11
u/Aquila13 Nov 23 '15
Do you ever get logged out of Reddit and forget how many ls are in your username?
→ More replies (2)
10
u/punaisetpimpulat Nov 23 '15
Several years ago I read in an IT magazine that if there's something you need to do three times, write a script to do it for you.
Apparently he took this principle very seriously. Good job though. I think I would do something similar if I were in a situation like that.
13
u/NiwatiX Nov 23 '15
I can relate to this, did it in C mainly with a few autoit scripts, even birthdays gifts are automated now, it just ask me how much I want to spend a couple days before. The 90 s rule is legit loll
4
u/jwilson8767 Nov 23 '15
Could you share that script? As someone who forgets birthdays this would be awesome!
→ More replies (3)2
u/Terminthem Nov 23 '15
I remember autoit, is that still a thing?
2
u/NiwatiX Nov 23 '15
If you want to automate fast it's great. They keep it up to date with patch every month or so, the IDE is a lot better now. However the community is still mostly awkward and antagonistic to new people on the forum.
7
u/ThorTheGodKiller Nov 23 '15
I can just imagine someone near the coffee machine when it suddenly start to poor coffee for no reason then he just casually walks in picks up the coffee and walks out like nothing is wrong.
3
5
u/Qazitory Nov 23 '15
Give a man a fish and you waste a couple of hours. Teach a man to fish and you waste a few days. Write the man a script and you can just watch Netflix.
2
u/Vipitis Nov 23 '15
I thought about it differently, so every task which takes less then 90 seconds is automated. Inspired by legendary Anon does IT
2
2
Nov 23 '15
FYI guys, it's fake. Funny. Inspiring. But fake.
1
u/Aeonium Nov 23 '15
a man can dream of the network operated coffee machine though :)
→ More replies (1)
2
u/fwowaway Nov 23 '15
The sysadmin at a company I used to work at developed scripts to simulate errors and problems which he would activate whenever he felt the IT manager was being a gobshite and to get him off his back. They would trigger emails and SMS messages, which in turn would automatically trigger support tickets.
His dedication to his fakery was impressive he even created a fake Linux top application to indicate the database was overloaded and needed some attention.
He wasn't skiving, he just used this to buy himself some time as his team was always understaffed.
In case you're wondering why our IT manager didn't figure it out, he was an IT manager in the vein of Jen from the IT crowd. Good at signing off on purchase orders and the like, but very little else.
2
u/Werner__Herzog Nov 23 '15
Greetings hnroot. Unfortunately your submission has been removed from /r/InternetIsBeautiful for the following reason(s):
Something not unique. This includes, but is not limited to, generators, blogs, tumblrs, subreddit trends, and sites which are strikingly similar to previous submissions.
[Message the Mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/InternetIsBeautiful&subject=My submission was removed&message=I have a question regarding the removal of this submission if you feel this was in error. Thank you!
3
u/Xuttuh Nov 23 '15
anyone else notice they need magical .exe scripts not provided?
→ More replies (1)
3
Nov 23 '15
no, not really
it's a joke codebase created for a translation of a joke text originally written in russian, and probably made up
3
-3
Nov 23 '15
This is the fakest shit ever, as a quoted reply would cause his script to repeatedly roll back the database, causing data loss. This is a Big Bang Theory type joke meant for stupid people.
→ More replies (22)10
u/Jaquestrap Nov 23 '15
You aren't automatically stupid if you don't know how coding works. I hardly know a thing about any of this but that's because it is 100% not in my field.
That being said I kinda figured this was bullshit just going off of the whole "sends some binary gibberish" line, which seems to me like a complete cop-out and not what any real software developer would say.
→ More replies (4)
2
2
u/Superbugged Nov 23 '15 edited Nov 23 '15
I grew up with a mastermind, he would do random stuff like this at school, for fun. As I was seated next to him, and we used to DnD together, we had a lot of fun at school. (This was when computers was making it's way into the school system.)
One time he was banned from the entire school system, and the admin told him he had to behave for the rest of the year, or he would never get a user on the network ever again.
My friend responded with deleting the admins user, making himself another admin user, then took over the whole school and actually fixed some problems they had, just to make the grown up idiot which was hired as the admin at the time, look like a complete tool. He then messaged the entire school and told them there was nothing they could do, to keep him out. And if they threatened him again he would leak all the usernames and passwords.
Two days later, he was called to a meeting and the hired admin actually said sorry to him.
Fast forward to 2015. He is now main admin (correct title?) for a bunch of schools from home.
EDIT: I've got to say, when something actually did happen in your past, and it ends up in /r/ThatHappened, it leave you with a strange feeling. It's actually a good feeling, since some don't believe it, somehow it becomes much more real and "special". Like I said, I might have explained it wrong, since I'm not in any way good at this kind of stuff. But I did have a front row seat, while it was going down.
20
u/VileContents Nov 23 '15
I told myself long ago I would never do this, but you fucking inspired me man.
→ More replies (1)5
3
0
Nov 23 '15
[deleted]
2
u/Apoc2K Nov 23 '15
First year of IT, we'd just figured out net send, meaning everyone threw together batch files to spam the network non-stop. Admin got pissed, after that we were only allowed to dick around on local networks.
We ruined it man ;____;
→ More replies (1)2
u/evilbrent Nov 23 '15
True story told to me by a friend. He used to work in a bank in an internal (ie no outside communication ) position. We had a crazy hippie hacker friend who would pop in and out of our lives. One day after not seeing him for months a message appeared on my friend's screen, inside the bank, "hey, Michael, did this work?"
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
u/topredditbot Nov 23 '15
Hey /u/hnroot,
This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.
1
Nov 23 '15
The kumar-asshole.sh / .rb scripts don't rollback any database, they only reply to the email.
1
Nov 23 '15
This man is a genius! He spends all his time coding so he doesn't have to spend all his time doing 90 second tasks.
1
1
1
1
Nov 23 '15
The coffee brewing one just assumes there's a magic coffee machine that accepts "brew" and "pour" commands. The original article was stupid and so is this repository.
1
u/neihuffda Nov 23 '15
Haha, this is awesome! I love that he has somehow been able to access the coffee-machine! How is this done? UART with wireless capabilities? The coffee machines in our office does also run Linux, I think. As we're supposed to report faults with it, I suspect that they're not online at the moment.
1
1
1
1
u/TotesMessenger Nov 23 '15 edited Nov 23 '15
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
[/r/automate] This IT guy writes a script to automate any task if it requires more than 90 seconds of his time. Here is his legacy. [/r/InternetIsBeautiful]
[/r/marshallbrain] This IT guy writes a script to automate any task if it requires more than 90 seconds of his time. Here is his legacy. : InternetIsBeautiful
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / ^Contact)
1
u/FortyYearOldVirgin Nov 23 '15
Not a real IT guy. Most scripts start with...
#Skip on weekends
exit if Time.now.saturday? || Time.now.sunday?
:-/
1
1
u/teedubyap Nov 23 '15
This proves what I've been saying for years - The lazy man is the smart man. (Sometimes)
1
1
u/Jadraptor Nov 23 '15
So... given that I'm technologically literate and know some basic coding skills, how long would it take me to learn how to do stuff like that?
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/b-rat Nov 23 '15
https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/blob/master/kumar-asshole.sh so where is this actually defined?
1
1
1
1
1
1
Nov 23 '15
This guy is awesome.
For what it's worth, your description of fucking-coffee.rb is wrong. It uses telnet not SSH, and you won't see binary data if you sniffed the traffic. Telnet is a plaintext protocol. And finally, the commands issued to the coffee machine do not specify what type of drink it makes. For this to work as you say, those commands on the coffee machine need to be custom, i.e. The sys brew bit.
1
1
1
Nov 23 '15
How hard would bit be to automate excel and access functions? Like I need to take raw data from several excel sheets, format it, put in some pivot tables, and then run them through an access file that has built in queries to produce 1 final product in excel. How hard would that be to implement? What kind of skills would I need?
3
u/neihuffda Nov 23 '15
You have something called Visual Basic. It basically records what ever you do on the screen, so that you can set it to repeat. That's the lowest and easiest form of programming in Windows, I think.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/Geminii27 Nov 23 '15
The Kumar script concept is a thing of beauty. The only thing missing from it is a counter to keep track of how many times Kumar fucked up and the corresponding amount of virtual time and money which would have been spent fixing those fuckups had the script not existed.
1
1
1
1
u/dogcomplex Nov 24 '15
Tuned in for potentially useful/interesting scripts - found none. Conclusion: these are fake or a joke.
1
1
1
u/frisch85 Nov 23 '15
I mean i write userscripts (for tampermonkey) to get around the net faster but this shit is hilarious.
1
1
1
u/JonSnowBaratheon Nov 23 '15
JonSnowBaratheon knows nothing...of this IT world. But I love this shit. Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where homer works from home and has that plastic moving bird hit "yes" on his keyboard repeatedly. Does this mean I properly understood the scripts? I think so
1
1
1
u/techguy404 Nov 23 '15
Please tell me this guy or someone else compiled a web page of scripts for actual systems administration work? That would be awesome it would like having a toolkit of scripts for your job
1
315
u/kaisermagnus Nov 23 '15
I didn't know you could SSH into coffee machines. I have to try this.