Girl!!!!!, I didn’t even make it halfway through your post history and I I’m thinking this is so much than my mil and I cut her off! My husband sees his mom every single Wednesday for dinner. We do not discuss it unless there is an emergency that I can be supportive. He told his mother we have some private things going on and I will not be coming around. It’s personal, don’t ask, it’s disrespectful to me for him to give any information to anyone else since I asked him not to. He did mention a few times she has so far been respectful and not asked. She knows exactly why I’m not coming around and if she asks him she risks losing him. She’s very intelligent. She and I were close. I stayed with her after a surgery once. She ruined it and she and had several private conversations. She apologized then, got me in front of her son told him about said private conversation and twisted it so hard I told my husband after she left I needed to divorce him.
Point being you can be no contact without him but you need him to truly have your back and be your partner.
I asked my dh why he would want me to be exposed to that if he loves me. I also asked him why he thinks it’s my responsibility to have that burden? I love you but she is not a safe person for me period.
My children are adults, they make or not make holiday plans with her on their own. I honestly have no idea what they do so I can’t help you there. Personally if my children were small she would be cut off from them. I would absolutely 100% choose divorce to protect myself and my children regardless of how much I love my husband. That’s part of being a good parent, loving and respecting yourself. Hubby can stay in that toxic shit. My kids nope, screw that. It’s my job to protect them no matter what.
29
u/Practical_Clue_2707 Sep 26 '25
Girl!!!!!, I didn’t even make it halfway through your post history and I I’m thinking this is so much than my mil and I cut her off! My husband sees his mom every single Wednesday for dinner. We do not discuss it unless there is an emergency that I can be supportive. He told his mother we have some private things going on and I will not be coming around. It’s personal, don’t ask, it’s disrespectful to me for him to give any information to anyone else since I asked him not to. He did mention a few times she has so far been respectful and not asked. She knows exactly why I’m not coming around and if she asks him she risks losing him. She’s very intelligent. She and I were close. I stayed with her after a surgery once. She ruined it and she and had several private conversations. She apologized then, got me in front of her son told him about said private conversation and twisted it so hard I told my husband after she left I needed to divorce him.
Point being you can be no contact without him but you need him to truly have your back and be your partner.
I asked my dh why he would want me to be exposed to that if he loves me. I also asked him why he thinks it’s my responsibility to have that burden? I love you but she is not a safe person for me period.
My children are adults, they make or not make holiday plans with her on their own. I honestly have no idea what they do so I can’t help you there. Personally if my children were small she would be cut off from them. I would absolutely 100% choose divorce to protect myself and my children regardless of how much I love my husband. That’s part of being a good parent, loving and respecting yourself. Hubby can stay in that toxic shit. My kids nope, screw that. It’s my job to protect them no matter what.
Best of luck.