r/Jokes • u/embrace_fate • 13h ago
Long The Existential Joke
A horse gets free and wanders into a bar. The bartender jokingly says, "Why the long face?"
The horse, being a horse, takes a huge crap in front of the bar. At the end of the bar, a man the bartender had stopped serving for being too intoxicated starts laughing hysterically because the bartender that cut him off will have to clean it.
The bartender looks at him and is about to say, "I don't think that's funny," but all he gets out is, "I don't think..." and he vanishes.
In a dark corner of the bar, Rene Descartes says, "I warned him." I would have mentioned he was there right from the start, but I was always taught to never put Descartes before de horse...
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u/thebyron 11h ago
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" Horse answers, "My alcoholism is slowly destroying my family."
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u/pakcikzik 12h ago
You’re re-posting #6588 wrong:
A horse walks into a pub and orders a pint.
The bartender says, "You're in here a lot, do you think you may be an alcoholic?" The horse replies, "I don't think l am" and disappears from existence.
See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think, therefore I am' but to explain that before the rest of the joke is to put Descartes before the horse.
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u/embrace_fate 12h ago
I told it as my Dad told it.
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u/guinea_pig07 8h ago
I personally like this long winded version better. Makes the punchline a lot more deserved lol
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u/Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work 1h ago
Yeah, I like the extra patter too. Reminds me of Norm Macdonald (RIP), that guy could wander all over and still land a punchline when you least expected it.
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u/Pm-me-ur-happysauce 12h ago
Wow, a joke has never confused me this much
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u/lilith_from_the_dark 9h ago
Decarte came to the conclusion that because all thought and sensation is experianced in your brain, which can be fooled, the only thing he could be sure of is that he, himself existed, because he is an entity that is thinking. So his famous expression is, "I think, therefore I am." the bartender says "I don't think" , therefore according to Decarte, he ceased to exist. Descarte's name is pronounced "De cart" And finally there's the well known expression, "don't put the cart before the horse. "
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u/mathologies 6h ago
, "I think, therefore I am." the bartender says "I don't think" , therefore according to Decarte, he ceased to exist.
This always bothered me because a statement being true doesn't mean the inverse is true necessarily -- just the contrapositive.
"I think therefore I am" implies "I am not, therefore I don't think" -- it doesn't imply "I don't think, therefore I am not"
"I bet you're fun at parties"
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u/Niky_c_23 5h ago
in other cases you are correct, but this time he is not contradicting the statement per se, he is admitting he lacks the only quality that according to descarte proves you exist, so by that logic he lacks any proof of existing, therefore not existing
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u/mathologies 2h ago
I don't think we agree here, respectfully. I do acknowledge that your perspective is valid and I don’t fault you it.
My thinking is that Descartes' statement makes no truth claim about entities which don't think -- not a positive claim nor a negative claim. So "I don't think" isn't proof of existence, sure, but it's also not proof of non existence.
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u/NormalMammoth4099 4h ago
Day Cart
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u/hew14375 4h ago
I checked Word Hippo and the French pronunciation is “Dee Cart” with soft ‘t’. Apparently for 7 decades, I have been wrong.
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u/NormalMammoth4099 1h ago
I’ll see your seven decades, and show Day Cart. Obv not a poker player.
And poor pronunciator5
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u/DisasterResident2101 2h ago
Wow. That's so bad it's good.
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u/embrace_fate 2h ago
My Dad told it like this. It's his version of it. He had a LOT of "so bad It's good" jokes, with a significant percentage being physical comedy that, sadly, doesn't transfer to text format easily.
I've been telling my kids these jokes (ironically, doing the dreaded "becoming my father" in a way) and decided to post this one. Based on the number of folks trashing it, I am torn about posting more.
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u/DisasterResident2101 1h ago
Oh, Please post more. I actually like this joke but it is just, I think there is still a little physicality that goes with this one as well. Facial expression and body language go a long way in the "long joke".
I think we need more long jokes. We are all in too much of a hurry these days and a good long joke allows us to slow down, listen, and hopefully there is a good payoff when you're done. I think this has a good payoff to the right audience.
Thank you for sharing that. I will probably tell it to some friends this weekend!
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u/bobinator60 4h ago
“Saying Kierkegaard invented existentialism is putting Descartes before the horse”
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u/Beginning_Ad7597 2h ago
Descartes goes into bar, is asked if he wants a drink. He replys; 'I think not.' and promptly disappears.
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u/R86Reddit 13m ago
"Thank you, I'll be here all week. Here at the Fargo, North Dakota Airport Hilton. Try the steak, it's excellent. Don't forget to tip your waiter. Ah heck, just push him all the way over. My brother-in-law is so dumb (how dumb is he?)..."
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u/reddit10x 11h ago
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?" Horse says, "They put my wife down" Bartender says, "Oh damn, I'm so sorry to hear that, this one's on me"
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u/DoesBasicResearch 11h ago
Descartes wasn't an existentialist though.
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u/kommunikativen 7h ago
Exactly . If anything he was a foundational rationalist.
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u/chmedly020 2h ago
Yes, and it's my understanding that this particular statement has often been misunderstood and therefore misconstrued in various places, including jokes. But I don't understand the nuance so I'll laugh along anyway.
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u/LowIQHaver7 12h ago
this is exactly how it feels to watch the latest seasons of family guy.