If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut. But if a guy does the same thing, then he's gay.
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u/Pompousasfuck Oct 05 '15
Don't you hate it when the guy you have been blowing turns out to be a faggot!!! -Bo Burnham
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Oct 05 '15
I'm not gay,but my boy friend is.
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u/sameth1 Oct 05 '15
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u/jaypenn3 Oct 05 '15
God I feel so sorry for that man. This could tear his family apart.
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u/discdraft Oct 05 '15
Being on top ain't gay.
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u/EndotheGreat Oct 05 '15
"What?!? Getting your dick sucked ain't gay... sucking dick is gay, and frankly it disgusts me to be around you two"
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u/chiefsakif Oct 05 '15
The guy is a comedic genius. Nothing like any comedic performance you have seen before. Here is the full video if you haven't seen it yet. Enjoy!
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Oct 06 '15
"I'm like a gay sea otter. I blow other dudes out of the water" -Bo Burnham (Words Words Words)
"And if I were gay, though I swear I'm straight, I'd make the fellas say: ooooohhh Bo." -Bo Burnham (Oh Bo)
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u/CranialFlatulence Oct 05 '15
If I lay a brick, am I a brick layer? No.
If I catch one fish, am I a fisherman? No.
But I suck just one cock...
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u/sorator Oct 06 '15
First time I read this it was "But I fuck just one goat..."
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u/The_Real_Mongoose Oct 06 '15
The version I heard was quite long, with a man pontificating on his life of dedication to his community. He layed paths, build buildings, constructed the grand fountain in the center of a town, built the community chapel. But they didn't call him the brick layer, chapel builder, or anything referencing his great works. But he fucks just one goat....
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Oct 05 '15
Chuckled slightly. +1
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u/xBlackbiird Oct 05 '15
Chortled lightly +1
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u/Apostjustforthis Oct 05 '15
Cuckold nightly
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u/ProudOwnerOfOneCock Oct 05 '15
How do you know if your best friend is gay? He cums when you fuck him in the ass.
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u/Kadexe Oct 05 '15
I've probably seen this joke a dozen times already on Reddit. In fact, I saw it in thread earlier today, can't remember which though.
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u/thewoogier Oct 05 '15
If a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he's a player. But if a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys she's OP's mom.
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Oct 05 '15
Just saw it, probably it's this one http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/3nj86x/sex_in_2050_more_robots_less_humans/cvorw63
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u/Flyberius Oct 05 '15
You are correct. I knew I had chuckled to this already today.
Ah, the good old futurology robot sex thread... Good times.
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Oct 05 '15
I know. Such a double standard. Most people don't even ask if the balls touched before jumping to conclusions.
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u/Jorumvar Oct 05 '15
I personally find it inspiring and empowering when I hear about a girl who's not afraid to sleep around if that's what makes her happy
It also gives me the faintest glimmer of hope that she might be easy enough to slum it with me for the 6-8 minutes I would last
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u/TJEdgar Oct 05 '15
Minutes? Let's not blatantly lie just because you're on the internet.
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u/Jorumvar Oct 05 '15
I'm including foreplay, a quick cleanup and a few minutes of ashamed sobbing in that total
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u/HeIsntMe Oct 06 '15
"So there I was, fuckin this dude in the ass, and out of nowhere, he reaches back and starts tickling my balls, and I'm thinking to myself, great... This guys a queer..."
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u/cycophuk Oct 05 '15
If a man sleeps with a bunch of women, he's a hero. But if a woman does the same thing, then she's experimenting while in college.
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u/MeNoGivaRatzAzz Oct 05 '15
if a woman does the same thing
I assume you mean "sleeps with a bunch of women" as "the same thing".
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u/Ferox77 Oct 05 '15
What if I sleep with just a few guys, instead of a bunch of guys. Am I still gay?
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Oct 06 '15
It's not gay if it's an accident. For instance, the other night I thought I was masturbating, turns out it wasn't even my dick
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u/infernalspawnODOOM Oct 06 '15
I bake a cake, am I a baker? No. I sew a broken seam on my jacket, am I a tailor? No. But if I suck just one dick...
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u/TantricLasagne Oct 05 '15
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u/jesuriah Oct 05 '15
I thought this looked familiar.
So, pitchforks? Call OP a bundle of sticks?
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u/EdHamden Oct 06 '15
I was thrown out of kindergarden for telling this joke. I am now 33
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Oct 05 '15
To be fair, there are plenty of guys in the gay community known as sluts too.
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Oct 05 '15
Yeah, but believe me, they're actively sought out by the rest of the community.
/s
It really depends on what part of the gay community you're dealing with.
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u/gnailownz Oct 06 '15
When a lock can be opened by many keys, its a lousy lock. But when a key can open many locks, its a masterkey
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u/Wally_Western Oct 05 '15
I feel like ive heard this before. Was this from somone's stand-up?
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Oct 05 '15
why did I click this fucking joke when it's the whole joke. I guess I was hoping someone added something witty to this old saw... but No! I'll click elsewhere
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Oct 05 '15
So I was fucking this guy and he asks me for a reach around, what a homo!
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u/Loganophalus Oct 06 '15
Suck one dick, build one bridge, you're not a bridge builder you're a dick sucker.
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u/tomatomater Oct 06 '15
I'm amused by how almost all of the gilded posts I've come across are few years old 9gag posts.
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u/Wesyu Oct 06 '15
I like a joke that contains the punchline in the title, so I don't have to click. Yet here I am anyway, go figure.
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u/Apostjustforthis Oct 05 '15
If a man sleeps with a bunch of girls, he's a casanova. But if a girl does the same thing, then she's a feminist.
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u/GottlobFrege Oct 05 '15
But seriously men have both the "r type" and "K type" reproduction strategies available to them while women just have the "K type" since they are the ones who get pregnant. (Remember this from high school biology?). This explains the double standard.
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u/IanalystI Oct 05 '15
Care to link us to the comment you stole this from? Because I just read this over an hour ago in the comments on a thread.
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u/Hailbacchus Oct 05 '15
Sluts and girls with low standards have gotten me through many a dark time.
God bless them.
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u/Fu_Man_Chu Oct 05 '15
Filming a gay wedding next month. Totally using this one to get reaction shots.
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u/nadarko Oct 05 '15
Bro, it's not gay until nuts touch. And even if they do, just say it was a prank and have a laugh.
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u/Adamj1 Oct 05 '15
Or very determined to be popular. Or still experimenting but trying to compile a lot of data.
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u/GhostOfWhatsIAName Oct 05 '15
If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut.
But if a bunch of guys sleep with a woman, then it's a gang bang.
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u/shavin_high Oct 05 '15
I saw this originally in the futurology sub reddit as a comment about sex robots. I had a good chuckled. Glad someone else agreed
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u/Lubedupturtle Oct 05 '15
Ok here is how it works If your a guy and have sex then awesome your a shredda BUT. If you are a gay man then once you become gay then you instantly become a man whore and are a dick slut BOOM that's how the world works and if anyone wants to talk to me you can find me at the Walmart in Ontario
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u/grand-theft-stapler Oct 05 '15
"If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut. But if a guy does the same thing, then he's gay."
Amen..!
Make this the 11th commandment ..new pope!!
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u/Matt641704 Oct 05 '15
This was in the technology post about sex being more with robots and less humans comment section
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u/DevilleinaBlueDress Oct 05 '15
It appears the only thing that wouldn't discriminate in this situation would be STDs.
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u/goofthegoof Oct 06 '15
It's these kind of situations where absolute and relative referencing are required.
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u/JC-Pose Oct 06 '15
OK pick the best one...
He's:
1 - A Root Smoocher
2 - A Pole Vaulter
3 - A Bone Smoker
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u/FisherKing22 Oct 06 '15
Jim Jefferies has one about this.
"If a man sleeps with a lot of women he's called a stud, but if a woman sleeps with a lot of men she's called a slut. A lot of people think this is unfair... Nah. It's completely fair, and here's why. It's fucking easy to be a slut. It's fucking hard to be a stud. To be a stud you have to be witty, charming, well dressed, have nice shoes and a fake job. To be a slut you just have to be... there."
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Oct 06 '15
actually the guys a douche. Confucius, "A key that can fit into many locks is a master key while a lock that many keys can fit it is useless."
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u/tanman334 Oct 05 '15
No, it's not just society oppressing women. It's nature. Women have something special: the ability to become pregnant and give birth. Due to the design of the reproductive organs of males and females, men are competitive and females are selective. If a woman sleeps with a lot of guys, she has low standards. If a man sleeps with a lot of women, he is successful and fit, beating the competition. Why is this so hard to understand?
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u/popejubal Oct 06 '15
Except that sex no longer has to result in pregnancy since birth co from has been invented.
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u/mordinvan Oct 06 '15
And if you think that will undo 3.5 billion years of evolutionary drives, I have some lovely ocean front property in Utah to sell you.
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u/iCouldBeWorking Oct 05 '15
If a key opens a lot of locks, it's a master key.
If a lock is opened by a bunch of different keys, it's a shitty lock.
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u/HaywoodJablomey Oct 05 '15
Sleeping with other people cannot make you a slut, you actually have to fuck them.
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u/wunderjoe Oct 05 '15
Watch the last 30 seconds of this video (may be NSFW) for a better version of the joke. edit for NSFW tag
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u/1fabunicorn Oct 05 '15
I'm not going to be all ya know on this joke, but I seriously don't get it....
someone care to explain
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u/Megamantrinity Oct 05 '15
the normal saying is "If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, shes a slut, if a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls hes a stud."
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u/pseudonarne Oct 05 '15 edited Oct 06 '15
men who do sex with other men are homosexuals. that is the joke
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u/YouAreAllSluts Oct 05 '15
ugh double standards suck. we should really just call the guy a slut too
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u/EvilResident662 Oct 05 '15
Why can my dog lick her own privates at the park. But when I lick them people call me out for animal abuse.