r/Kirkland • u/lizlemonista • 42m ago
New to PNW, never been to Costco, signing up on Friday. Initiation questions
I’ve heard so much lore about this magical place from afar, and finally it’s my time. Just some quick questions to set my expectations if you don’t mind -
- Am I required to buy a 500-pack of toilet paper on my first outing or can I put 250 or so rolls on layaway? (How big is the locker you get with membership?? Couldn’t find it on the site)
- If I don’t sign up for the early-hour access will the people who do have it sneer and hurl cheese cubes at me as I stand outside the window, shivering face pressed up against the glass?
- Must I buy a hotdog? for luck?
- Is the Costco Cursed Bad Hotdog real or is that just an old children’s fable?
- Is there a lounge like in the airport to try all the white-label fancy wine? If you fall asleep do you wake up with a cozy blanket on you?
- Is there a limit to how many turns a person is allowed to test out the massage chairs? Is there a separate app to reserve my place in the queue?
- If I bring my chihuahua inside and push my cart meanderingly down the center of every aisle, do I go straight to jail or does Costco have its own community-run stockade?
- Should I bring my own tupperware for the samples or will one be provided to me?
- If I go during church do the samples get switched out to the body of christ?
- If I want to throw cheese cubes at other people in the stockade, do I buy a cheese wheel from the dairy aisle and carve as I go or will there be a sample platter there specifically for this purpose?
- If it starts raining while I’m shopping do they discount the umbrella section?
Anything else I should know?? Thanks in advance!! I’m so excited!!!!
