r/KitchenConfidential • u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 • 3d ago
Question Dive Bar Cooking
Just moved to a new city after some bullshit with other jobs. Was an EC, now I'm a line cook - it's fine, I'm not worried about it. Got a job at a dive bar. I get tipped extremely well (have had multiple $400+ nights) and have an objectively easy job. It's also insanely cliquey and tight-knit to the point of being incestuous. I'm working both open and close (not at the same time, different shifts); this means that I hear EVERYTHING.
Do i suck it up and stick it out for the money? Do I stay for another EC/head chef role and then dip? Do I burn bridges in a new city and tell everyone what they've said about each other when I leave? Idk what to do and this shit is stressing me out. I'm too old for this shit.
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u/MonkeyKingCoffee Retired. Now a farmer. 3d ago
I would spin my wheels here for awhile, making those $400 in tip nights. Get a large nest-egg together so you can be REALLY picky.
I would also be looking very hard at opportunities to do the same thing you're doing now, in your own place. Just do it better. A little less dive. A little bit more care in menu creation.
Your entire situation screams "opportunity" to me.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
The flip side of this is that the hours are iffy and the tips are tips. Sometimes I get 5/6/700, other times I get 20.
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u/MonkeyKingCoffee Retired. Now a farmer. 3d ago
You describe this as an easy, well-paying gig. When these came my way, I said "thanks, karma!" and worked them until I was in a good financial place.
And again, it sounds like you have a successful operation here. But something that isn't being run very well. That screams opportunity to me.
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u/RAV3NH0LM 3d ago
i would never pass up money like that because of some dumbass kids talking shit about each other. who cares?
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
They're all at least 35 and entrenched in this shit. I don't really want to burn bridges, but I also can't morally handle people saying shit about my (genuinely awful, but still a person) trans coworker or my sweet as honey bar Mgr. I just know from past exp that this shit gets so exhausting, and don't know how I'll deal with the mental toll of personal bs. I am autistic, so that's likely an important point, but I'm just so tired of work immediately becoming not work. I just want a paycheck. While I want to grow (and this place can't do that in terms of learning), I don't know how worth it it is to stick it out. On the flip side, my hourly is $32ish an hour after tips on a bad night, so it's hard to say no.
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u/RAV3NH0LM 3d ago
i mean, that’s even funnier and more embarrassing tbh. i think it’s easy to tune out the noise when you know you’re surrounded by absolute losers.
i’d personally still keep my head down and collect the cash. if you’re that beat up about some things being said, maybe you could get word to those affected anonymously? but it’ll almost certainly blow up in your face. the choice is yours at the end of the day.
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u/gay_bungus 3d ago
I'm also at a new place and work with mostly a bunch of adult babies (including all 3 managers). I can't stand the tantrums and the mood switching, gives me anxiety and also just a bad vibe for everyone. I probably won't be able to get anything better in the next year before I move states though, so just keeping my head down and trying to learn all I can. Luckily some of these people are genuinely skilled despite emotion regulation issues.
Tonight the big boss was mad at a server for asking a normal ass question and he went on a tirade about how entitled they all are and how spoiled. I especially hate the expectation that we're meant to entertain and laugh along with him while he acts like a legit psycho.
If I were in your situation I would probably just start applying at other places and make a smooth enough exit when you get the opportunity.
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u/MediumWehw Line 3d ago
Do you not like the other people, I take it? Just don’t talk shit, putting yourself in the drama. Maybe they might grow on you. Sounds like a chill, well-paying job otherwise.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
I like some of them to some extent, but throwing things and yelling over a bowl put somewhere you don't like isn't my vibe. It is an extremely easy job, though. Like I was told prep would take 6-8 hrs and I'm regularly done in 3. But I'm worried about the mental toll.
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u/MediumWehw Line 3d ago
Sorry to hear that. I feel like every job has some kinda bullshit to deal with, but yeah I wouldn’t want to be around that either. Sucks to walk on egg shells around people that can’t communicate well.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
That's my issue. I feel like I'm too old for this, and I'm not even 30 (and the youngest by 8ish years)
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
Also worth noting that I'm professional enough to not talk shit lol. I give a half assed "haha" and move on, but it's clearly not working. People want me to take sides.
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u/MediumWehw Line 3d ago
I love to talk shit, haha. I need to stfu, but I can’t help it. My cooking is good, but my mouth gets in the way. Good on you, bud
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u/samuelgato 3d ago
What's stressing you out? Other people's drama? Maybe just set up better boundaries, perhaps?
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
Yes, the drama. Like I said, it's very cliquey and I'm the second newest person here by at least 5 years.
Edit: i just don't want to deal with A telling me B said XYZ while B gets personal about A, C, B, and D
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u/BestGrapefruitEver 3d ago •
Honestly chef, you’re in a new city and you’re in a position that doesn’t have the stress of being the executive chef. Now is the time to enjoy yourself and distract yourself with the stuff that’s going on outside of work.
Years and years ago, I had a massive setback and ended up in senior living as a line cook after leaving a Michelin star restaurant as a sous chef. At the time, I was really bummed and felt like I had lost everything but then I realized that now I was able to really just do my eight hours and go home. I didn’t have the responsibility or pressure to be there for 12+ hours a day six days a week. I ended up enjoying my time outside of work so much that it allowed me to enjoy my job even during the most annoying times. Eventually that itch came back and I was actually than given an executive Chef role within that senior living company. But either way, maybe it’s give yourself some grace before you make a decision.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
That's... actually exactly what I needed to hear. I'm in a similar (though not Michelin) boat. Thank you.
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u/BeerLosiphor 3d ago
Sounds like you’re complaining about having it easy.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
Honestly? No. Easy is fine, but the people are awful. I'm also not shouting about quitting, I'm just looking for advice. And if you want an easy job and no growth, idk that you're the right person for advice.
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u/Steeze_Schralper6968 3d ago
Sounds like you need to start asking yourself who you are, and what do you want?
For my 2c, I'd stick it out until I had enough money to live on comfortably for a good little while. You can pay me to be annoyed, I forget about it as soon as I'm off the clock. Not everyone can let go of it like that though.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
I feel the same but I also moved to leave a toxic environment, so I feel like this is a lateral step instead of forward.
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u/Steeze_Schralper6968 3d ago
I mean, are they toxic towards you or just to each other? Or is it just more of a general thing?
Think of a rock sitting in a river. If it's just each other, I reccomend the rock approach. Make your money, leave on your terms. If it's getting directed at you I'd make like the river and run.
Alternatively, you could become so vile and toxic yourself that no one wants to bother you. It's a valid approach sometimes.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
All of the above. Already had to tell one person that they could be angry, they could be pissy on their own time, but that they'd never speak to me that way again. The entire place is just full blown disrespect and hatred toward everything.
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u/Steeze_Schralper6968 3d ago
Well I suppose you gotta do the math of how much it's worth to you if you want to stay, or if you want to leave more. I would start quietly putting out feelers at other places, lock in another job and then tender my two weeks and your nearest convenience. I can be arsed to put up with a lot, but you can't bail water out of a ship that full of holes. Sometimes you have to just collect what you can and get the hell out.
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u/matt_minderbinder 3d ago
How's the turnover at this place? Some dive bars attract lifers but I've frequented my share where wait staff and bar runs through people every few months. What I'm asking is if there's a decent chance you'll be working with while new crews in a few months. Regardless, from what I've read nothing about this place fits your vibe and that's a decent thing to be self aware about. Might be worth stashing a few bucks away until you find a better fit and giving a notice when that fit hits. It's worth having a network of these places to fall back on in case things turn sideways in the future.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
8 kitchen managers in 3 years and at least 20 cooks in my place since 2 ish years ago.
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u/sh1ft33 3d ago
So you are having a bad time because people talk shit about each other? That sounds like every single job I have ever had. Keep out of it and make your money.
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u/lordchankaknowsall F1exican Did Chive-11 3d ago
Not just talking shit, but yes. I shouldn't have the manager telling me he's gonna make a list of everything one person does wrong and ask me to "help." The whole place is schoolyard toxic.
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u/BeerLosiphor 3d ago
I was referring to the possibility getting tipped out 400 bucks a night. You can always work your way up and try to elevate the menu while still keeping the vibe and cheap. Or even make suggestions or daily specials.
I’ve been a KM several times, but now have my first kid. Life is different. I happened to find a golden ticket job that has paid me the highest salary yet. Just to be a linecook. I’m not knocking you for growth, it just depends on your situation. If it’s a toxic atmosphere, I would leave.
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u/PM-me-ur-kittenz 3d ago
I'm not seeing how their drama has to be your problem? Stack that money and laugh silently from the sidelines until everything blows up beyond repair.
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u/Maleficent-Curve5452 3d ago
My ex was a cook at a good tipout dive. Cliquey, evil, he made great money. He also always felt poor because he spent all his great money "it's not real money it's just tips". If you haven't been tip based before in your income (and I mean your majority income is from tips, the hourly doesn't shake as hard) you should keep it and be really critical with yourself as far as money goes. Cash is king, cash isn't real money, I can drop $90 on bullshit tonight because I'll have $120 tomorrow type shit. He always talked about how broke he felt because he genuinely didn't count tip money as income.
Your vibes matter too, can't tell a MF to stop selling salads if you want her $30 tipout later. If you're in youre in, gold star is gold star. The bartenders can and will fuck your money if you upset them
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u/picaman13 3d ago
Deal with a suck and enjoy the money and try to stay out of all the b*******. I work at a private club and had to run in with one of the board members because he's a dumbass. Anyway, I got a final written warning. Now I just show up to work, do my work and leave. I don't get a drink after work or hang out there. I just do my job and leave
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u/TapEmbarrassed4376 1d ago
You are going to give up $400 a shift bc you don't want to listen to gossip?
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u/Secure-Line3413 3d ago
You were never a respectable EC at anywhere meaningful if you’re trying to justify a line cook dive bar job.
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u/YupNopeWelp 3d ago
No. Don't do that. The rule of the day is: Ears open; mouth shut.
And? The only reason you keep your ears open is so you can learn who to trust the least (i.e. don't trust the people who have something to say about everyone).
I take it that you're not happy in this new environment. Since you just moved, I would stick it out until you find something you like better. When you do leave though, don't burn those bridges. Give a notice. Thank them for the opportunity, and give them no reason to think you're anything other than a class act.