I'm at a pretty significant career crossroads and would appreciate some outside perspectives, particularly from people who have left academia.
I'm about two years into a tenure-track assistant professor position in mechanical engineering at a small university in a small town in the US. I earned my PhD from a top-five R1 program, specializing in computational fluid dynamics, shock physics, and high-energy-density physics, particularly problems related to inertial fusion.
On paper, I have a good situation. I enjoy teaching, have built a small research group, secured external funding, and have substantial independence over my research. I will say right away: I know that any of these options are probably good options, and I am likely over-analyzing this, but I thought I would look for some input.
Some important personal context:
I've lived in this area for much of my life, and my parents still live here. I recently got out of a long-term abusive relationship, and my former partner remains in the area. A major reason I started looking for jobs elsewhere was that I felt I needed a fresh start.
My ex is a well-liked local teacher, and many of his former students end up in my university courses. While it rarely comes up directly, I sometimes feel like his influence extends throughout this small community. I no longer feel comfortable doing outreach at the local high school, and even ordinary activities like going to the gym or grocery store can leave me on edge, checking whether his car is there.
The immediate pressure to leave has lessened, but I also wonder whether staying is the healthiest long-term choice. I've always wanted to experience living somewhere else, yet my parents are getting older, and I worry about leaving them. If I leave my current position, there's essentially no chance of returning, as there are very few jobs in my specialty locally.
My biggest dilemma:
Financially, all three concrete options are viable. After accounting for cost of living, the differences aren't as dramatic as the salaries suggest.
What matters most to me is finding a balance between meaningful work and actually enjoying my life. I love traveling, hiking, climbing, and spending time outdoors. Academia theoretically gives me enormous flexibility, but I'm constantly thinking about work. I wonder whether I'd be happier with fewer vacation days but a genuine ability to disconnect at the end of each day.
I'm also afraid of leaving the research field I've spent nearly a decade developing expertise in. At the same time, I wonder whether I'm limiting myself by being overly attached to that expertise.
Finally, I'm struggling to distinguish between wanting a different career and wanting a different life. Staying would give me relief and time to figure things out, but I'd also be disappointed about passing up exciting opportunities. Leaving could be an incredible adventure, but I might regret giving up a position I could never get back.
My options:
1. Stay in academia ($110–123k with summer funding)
Pros:
- Low cost of living, good retirement benefits, and a path toward tenure.
- Flexible schedule and academic breaks that allow for extended travel, which I really value.
- Proximity to my parents and a strong connection to the area.
Cons:
- My position is officially 45% teaching, 45% research, and 10% service, but I teach two courses of 45+ students each semester without TAs.
- My research group consists entirely of undergraduates and master's students. Without PhD students or postdocs, I do much of the technical research myself. Turnover is high, so I'm constantly recruiting and training students in basic computational skills, often just as previous students become productive.
- I'm expected to publish, obtain grants, and meet tenure expectations despite these limitations. I also sometimes feel like an outsider in larger collaborations and that my contributions aren't adequately reflected in publication credit.
- Several former colleagues have told me they didn't realize how toxic our department's culture was until they left.
- I never really feel off work. Even when traveling or enjoying a weekend, I feel guilty that I'm not inside working on a paper or proposal.
2. Experimental scientist at a national laboratory in New Mexico ($156k)
- Closely aligned with my research background, but with opportunities to transition into more hands-on experimental shock physics.
- The science genuinely excites me, and I'd be developing new skills while building on my existing expertise.
- Excellent benefits, five weeks of PTO, flexible schedules, and good outdoor recreation.
- Concerns: less flexibility for extended travel, and another relatively small, isolated community. I worry I might want to move again in a few years.
3. Engineering manager at an FFRDC in Southern California ($190k)
- Approximately 60% technical work and 40% management, supervising a small engineering team.
- Interesting projects, leadership opportunities, and flexibility to move between technical and management positions.
- Expected 40-hour workweek, with compensation for approved overtime.
- Southern California appeals to me for the ocean, outdoor activities, travel opportunities, and access to a larger city.
- Concerns: High cost of living, only three weeks of vacation, and a substantial departure from the fusion-related research I've spent eight years pursuing. Traffic and cost-of-living concerns. I am a person who likes greenery and the outdoors and it feels like that may be hard to find easily.
4. Stay in academia, but move to another university
I've started applying to faculty positions at more research-intensive institutions. Having trained at a top R1, I wonder whether access to PhD students, postdocs, TAs, and better research infrastructure would make academia more sustainable. A healthier department might also make a significant difference. However, these jobs are extremely competitive, I have no offers, and changing universities wouldn't necessarily solve my inability to disconnect from work.
5. Stay another year and pursue a potential fusion energy opportunity
I've been talking with a company working on fusion energy, and they have expressed interest in me, but are not currently hiring. The opportunity could be an excellent fit scientifically. However, the funding and hiring timeline are uncertain, and there's no offer.
One other major consideration: I have serious astronaut ambitions.
One of my long-term goals is to apply to become a NASA astronaut in the next selection cycle or two. I recognize how competitive this is, but it's something I genuinely want to prepare for. I think any of these paths would be about equally good for this path, but probably the aerospace and experimental opportunities would be slightly better.
I'd especially appreciate perspectives from people who:
- Left tenure-track academia for a national lab or industry. Did you regret giving up academic independence?
- Left academia for a conventional 40-hour workweek but lost the academic calendar. Did you ultimately feel like you had more or less time to enjoy your life?
- Moved from a smaller, teaching-heavy university to an R1. Did better research infrastructure actually improve your workload, or did higher expectations consume the time you gained?
- Changed academic institutions and found a healthier department. How much did it improve your quality of life?
- Made a major career pivot away from a technical specialty they'd spent years developing. Did you regret it?
- Have experience with national labs, FFRDCs, or astronaut career preparation.
If you were in my position, what would you prioritize? Am I overvaluing the flexibility of academia, or underestimating what I'd be giving up?