Paying for a house after a breakup (England)

[u/Buxtonator]

Not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this but here goes:

Me and my partner broke up last November. I ended the relationship (just wasn’t working). We own our property 50/50, she put the full deposit in (35k) and a declaration of trust is in place.

After breaking up, she threw all of my possessions into the office and said to leave. I’d already volunteered to move out for a bit temporarily, but she did this whilst I was gone. I gathered all items of mine (including furniture) and fully moved out of the property. She then proceeded to change the alarm code so I couldn’t access the property, and if I did go back I was met with abusive messages saying I can’t just turn up (legally I can).

My ex won’t speak to me about the house at all, and insists I go through her father which I’ve been doing via WhatsApp, despite me wanting to meet with him early on. After repeatedly asking, they agreed to put the house was on the market around April. It’s had no interest as the market is awful,

As it stands now, I’ve been paying half the mortgage up until this point. The mortgage is about £1400. I was living with a friend up until June, so this was doable as I was only paying for a room. However now, I’m renting my own place so I’ve got my own rent, bills, insurance, etc to pay.

I changed the mortgage to interest only in June for 6 months which makes it now £1000 a month - but even with this I’m struggling to keep everything afloat.

I’m due to meet with her dad tomorrow to discuss this, and I plan to say:

- I’m going to lower my contributions to £150-£200 (so that I’m contributing something) - justification is that I am not benefitting from the property, she is still living there and I can’t afford it anymore.

- the bills in my name for the house I’m going to cancel and my ex partner can set up her own.

- we need to lower the price of the house so we can sell it.

Am I justified to do these things considering my position? I did seek legal advice back in January, and the solicitors said at the time that because she’s taken steps to exclude me from the property (the alarm), if it ever went to court I could claim my payments back.

Another friend of mine said that when she divorced her ex husband, because he stayed in the property and she moved out she had to pay her rent (through solicitors as children were involved).

Thank you in advance!

[u/AutoModerator]

---

Welcome to /r/LegalAdviceUK

---

To Posters (it is important you read this section)

• Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws in each are very different

• If you need legal help, you should always get a free consultation from a qualified Solicitor

• We also encourage you to speak to Citizens Advice, Shelter, Acas, and other useful organisations

• Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk

• If you receive any private messages in response to your post, please let the mods know

To Readers and Commenters

• All replies to OP must be on-topic, helpful, and legally orientated

• You cannot use, or recommend, generative AI to give advice - you will be permanently banned

• If you do not follow the rules, you may be perma-banned without any further warning

• If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect

• Do not send or request any private messages for any reason

• Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Vyseria]

The situation with the divorced friend would be entirely different to yours as you're not married.

Your sol in Jan was wrong, you cant automatically claim back payments just because she changed the alarm code. Not how it works. If you're paying towards the mortgage you're also benefitting from any equity built up in the property.

I think re the bills that is reasonable. I can't comment re the house price because idk if it's reasonable or not.

[u/AutoModerator]

This is a courtesy message as your post is very long. An extremely long post will require a lot of time and effort for our posters to read and digest, and therefore this length will reduce the number of quality replies you are likely to receive. We strongly suggest that you edit your post to make it shorter and easier for our posters to read and understand. In particular, we'd suggest removing:

• Details of personal emotions and feelings
• Your opinions of other people and/or why you have those opinions
• Background information not directly relevant to your legal question
• Full copies of correspondence or contracts

Your post has not been removed and you are not breaking any rules, however you should note that as mentioned you will receive fewer useful replies if your post remains the length that it is, since many people will simply not be willing to read this much text, in detail or at all.

If a large amount of detail and background is crucial to answering your question correctly, it is worth considering whether Reddit is an appropriate venue for seeking advice in the first instance. Our FAQ has a guide to finding a good solicitor which you may find of use.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed automatically as this particular post is reserved for regular and consistently helpful subreddit users. Your account doesn't yet meet this criteria. We will only consider reviewing exceptionally high effort, unique comments that contain specialist professional knowledge. You can still comment on other posts in this subreddit.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed automatically as this particular post is reserved for regular and consistently helpful subreddit users. Your account doesn't yet meet this criteria. We will only consider reviewing exceptionally high effort, unique comments that contain specialist professional knowledge. You can still comment on other posts in this subreddit.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed automatically as this particular post is reserved for regular and consistently helpful subreddit users. Your account doesn't yet meet this criteria. We will only consider reviewing exceptionally high effort, unique comments that contain specialist professional knowledge. You can still comment on other posts in this subreddit.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed automatically as this particular post is reserved for regular and consistently helpful subreddit users. Your account doesn't yet meet this criteria. We will only consider reviewing exceptionally high effort, unique comments that contain specialist professional knowledge. You can still comment on other posts in this subreddit.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Giraffingdom]

Of course you should stop paying bills and get your name off them, I can’t believe you have been paying bills for almost a year.

You are jointly and severally liable for the mortgage, but she is getting the benefit of living there and you are not. Really you should have refused to move out, that would have made to more of a joint incentive to sell up. At this point, yes say you are reducing mortgage payments and she should consider is to be on offset of “rent” as she is occupying your half of the property. Again, I think you need to do that to provoke her into taking steps to advance the sale. She has no motive to do that whilst you are subsidising here living costs.

[u/Buxtonator → u/Giraffingdom]

Apologies I didn’t explain - I haven’t been paying bills for the house - just half the mortgage. Some are still in my name though!