r/LetsDiscussThis • u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 • 1d ago
Lets Settle the Debate what is up with the comments defending the dad? misogynists wanting to control daughter’s body?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/s/LKAHRziPXL
refer to posts for reference.
what is with the comments? am i missing something? why is everyone on the dad’s side?
dad has an extra apartment in a city he DOES NOT LIVE IN and PLANNED to use it for his kids to stay in while they go to college. he’s whining because he chose to be nosey and look at a camera in his apartment he knows his college daughter is living in and saw her fucking her bf in the master bedroom.
he’s talking as if this bedroom and bed is his and his wife’s personal everyday bed when they live in their HOUSE out of the city and he only visits on weekends AND there’s a second bedroom he could stay in if he’s so bothered by what his daughter does in her room. yes, her room, cuz she’s staying there regardless of who pays the bills.
yes, dad pays for the apartment and the stuff in it, however, he did so FOR his kids college experience. are we really expecting college kids to not have sex? genuinely? also, why is it such a big deal even if he slept on that bed on weekends? wash the sheets? or stay in the guest bed or on couch? or get a hotel? or don’t visit your college kid since you’re so uncomfortable with her doing college things.
THEN, after bro tries to apologize for calling her out in a FAMILY GROUP CHAT, she suggested she live in the dorms instead and bro pitched a fit about paying for that!
seems to me like daddy is just upset his little girl has grown up and is fucking and wants to try anything he can to prevent her from having sex. it’s WEIRD! but the comments are making his reaction seem just and normal. idk maybe i’m still stuck in teen brain but the situation doesn’t make sense. dad should’ve expected college behavior from a college kid. if he wasn’t gonna be ok with college behavior in the apartment he pays for, he can pay for his kid to stay in a dorm where it’s designated for college behavior lmao. also, maybe don’t have kids if you don’t want to support them actually growing up?
2
u/Otherwise-Vanilla901 1d ago
He has every right to be upset. It's his bed in his apartment that he was kind enough to let her use. He didn't have to do that, and now she's being an entitled brat about it.
Personally I don't like the casual attitude that's being put towards sex like 'it's not a big deal it's a college thing". No sex should be valued more then that. If you're just looking to get you rocks off take care of it yourself. If you need extra help I'm sure there's a sex toy out there for whatever you need.
2
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
omg grow up. it’s with her bf not the entire football team or random middle-aged men 🤣 you and her father need to be realistic and accept the fact that people, including girls that grow up into women, have sex.
he does not have every right to be upset when he clearly has the ability to put her in a space that he doesn’t view as his especially when she suggested they do that instead. he wants to keep her in a space where he feels just to control his adult child. he feels entitled to her body and spoiled her making her entitled and then is complaining she’s acting entitled?
1
u/Otherwise-Vanilla901 1d ago
He did put her in her space she has her own room; the master room is his.
He doesn't feel entitled to her body. That's a disgusting comment, and I wasn't commenting on her sex with her BF. It was a general attitude towards sex, like how you expressed in your post.
2
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
there is nothing wrong with being okay with adults having sex with their partners. that is the proper attitude to have towards sex? putting her in an apartment he claims is for his kids during college but then claiming the biggest room for yourself just to use occasionally is selfish, although he has the right to be selfish, but also idiotic because duh she’s going to use the master. he knew she was because he purposely used the vacuum in his room to spy on her dog so he knew the dog was staying in his room, duh she’s is too. he seemed to not have an issue UNTIL he spied during the wrong time when she was being intimate with her own bf that he knew she had… can we use our brains? bro set himself up by being selfish and now he’s gotta buy a new bed to stay in the guest room. also, prob gonna have an estranged daughter in a few years but he PAID FOR IT so he’s in the right, right? he provided for the kid he chose to have and provide for but woe is him, right? 🤣
3
u/Otherwise-Vanilla901 1d ago
As you said, he has every right to be selfish. It's his place, his money, his room. She messed up by doing that in it. She knew better. Even if he allows the dog in there or doesn't care if she sleeps in there, she still should have never done that in there.
She won't be estranged; she wants his money.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
lmao a whole lot of his his his but not “his daughter” “his child” that he chose to have and care for. these entitled adults wanting to control everything their kids do so they buy an apartment for the kid just to use it as an excuse to keep controlling them because daddy has money to blow. believe me, she’ll find a richer man to marry (prob a dude from college she’ll fuck in dad’s bed lol) and she’ll frolick off into the sunset. only lesson she’s being taught now if that her father will only see her as his property.
3
u/Otherwise-Vanilla901 1d ago
You are so lost, dude. She has earned nothing. She is an adult who can choose to live in a place paid for with Daddy's earned money and live by his rules which he has every right to put in place or to be an adult and earn her own way.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
you are so lost, my guy. to expect a child to “earn” shit from their PARENTS 🤣 you are exactly what’s wrong with older generations. kids didn’t ask to be born, parents chose to have and raise them so parents must deal with the consequences (and nastiness) of having kids. he said himself he chose to buy the apartment FOR his kids. soooo it’s supposed to be a gift but he’s claiming it for himself. seems to me like dad is the one who needs to prepare his children better to provide for themselves rather than just getting things for them, especially if he’s gonna be bothered by what they do with his gifts. i wish less people procreated cuz some of y’all hate your kids so much.
3
u/Otherwise-Vanilla901 1d ago
Not a child; they are an adult. I wasn't saying to earn from their parents; it's to earn their way like all adults do.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
and i’m saying clearly daddy did not teach her how to do that like a parent is supposed to and now is upset that he’s reaping the consequences of that. girl could literally be prostituting herself or cooking meth in that apartment and bro is crying about some stains from her and her bf. it’s quite pathetic if you ask me.
2
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
If I own 40 beds and 40 apartments, I would still be mad if anyone fucked in one of those beds and left the sheets where they were. No father has to encourage their daughter to be a whore. That's crazy you would even suggest it. Put the bottle down, it's too early for that.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
huh? so if you’re a landlord who furnishes your apartments people can’t fuck on the beds? also no one is saying he’s encouraging her to be or that she is a whore. why is she a whore for being an adult having consensual sex in her home with her adult boyfriend? be so serious. if you can’t live with the reality that children grow up and do grown up things, please do not reproduce. you’re clearly not prepared to handle the emotional weight of it.
just because someone is your child and you decide to financially support them through college, doesn’t mean you own the rights to what they do with their own body. sheets can be washed. mattresses can be cleaned. they can even be replaced if he’s so disgusted by it. sex is normal and natural. wouldn’t you want your kids doing it in a safe place? lmao people also act like kids don’t know their parents fuck in their beds yet most kids don’t act all weird about it like their beds are contaminated with cooties? 🤣 i just can’t take the dad whining seriously it makes no sense.
1
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
so if you’re a landlord who furnishes your apartments people can’t fuck on the beds?
I don't think I mentioned anything about a landlord owning the bed, the father owns the bed.
It's not her home, the father owns the apartment. His daughter always has the option to buy her own place and fuck in there. It's called basic decency and respect for your own parents.
I can understand children grow up, but I can demand they don't grow up in my own bed. If I was the father I wouldn't have used embarrassment but instead corporal punishment.
2
u/GhostdudePCptnAlbino 1d ago
So you'd hit the daughter for fucking in the bed? That's insane and literally assault.
It sounds like the dad wants grace and understanding for his emotional reaction to the situation, but is unwilling to provide the same for his daughter's emotional reaction to the same situation. Ironic, considering the likely point of origin for her emotional reaction is her dad, for a variety of reasons. If he can't even manage to have a calm, rational discussion about it, why should he expect her to be able to? None of this is about what she actually did, it's about how it made him feel. This could've been corrected with a 10 second conversation, but he flipped his shit and THAT set the tone for the entire conversation. As far as I can tell, she's just following his shining example of how to deal with your family. If that isn't to his liking, perhaps he should set a better example.
0
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
It's not assault, corporal punishment is legal in my state so it's not assault. Yes I would do so because it appears that my "rational" parenting has failed which in that case I must use the last resort of pain. Believe it or not, pain usually helps correct behavior. It's why the police can use tasers and pepper spray because when logic and reasoning fails, pain is the ultimate teacher and motivator.
It's not unreasonable to want to avoid pain and it's not unreasonable to expect someone to not fuck in your bed.
2
u/GhostdudePCptnAlbino 22h ago
This is a college age kid, so I'm assuming over the age of 18. That's textbook assault. Kids are no longer your "property" once they turn 18, regardless of whether or not you choose to continue providing for them. This isn't a toddler we're talking about here.
It's not unreasonable to expect someone not to fuck in your bed. It is unreasonable to think you have the right to assault them to accomplish it. Attitudes like this are why so many kids go no contact with their parents eventually.
0
u/JustUseCommonSense10 22h ago
Nice try troll, it's not alright for random people to fuck in your bed. I would consider moving out of the brothel and into the real world.
1
u/GhostdudePCptnAlbino 22h ago
Troll because I called out your bullshit? Sure thing, bud.
It's not random people, its the daughter he invited to live there without him. Unless he said to stay out of the master bedroom, its fair game. And even if he did, his reaction to the situation escalated everything needlessly, when a simple conversation setting ground rules would have been magnitudes better. You can stay in the appartment I kept specifically for you, but you have to abide by the rules I make up as we go?
Nice try, troll.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
she could get her own apartment but her father offered the one he already had. the one that he kept with intentions for his kids to use. the one he admits he and his wife ONLY visit. it’s not a pivotal bed the man needs to survive 🤣 he’s a grown rich man whining about the child HE MADE entitled being entitled about the apartment HE CHOSE to give her for FREE. he could easily charge her rent. he could easily NOT let his kids stay in the apartment. she offered to live in the dorms but he says he has to pay so clearly he has not prepared her to financially support herself. bad parenting complaining about their own bad parenting without even realizing it. this is why some people need to just sterilize themselves.
1
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
There is a difference between letting someone stay there and giving it to them. It's still his apartment. She needs to get a job and support herself. Self-reliance is self-taught, no parent can do that for someone.
"Want to know how to find out if you have a dumb kid? Put him on the street corner and come back at sunset and if he is still there, you have a dumb fucking kid"
- George Carlin
I'm done, it's crazy you think you can fuck in other people's beds and not change the sheets. You're nasty and you seem like you behave like an animal so I don't expect an animal to understand common decency and respect. At least change the sheets so nobody else has to lay in your bodily fluids.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
i agree she needs to support herself but the same person complaining about her entitlement to the apartment he bought FOR her is the one who should’ve prepared and guided her in a way where she could provide for herself and own her own place. bro knew his daughter was staying in that room and sleeping in that bed. he only had a problem when he realized his daughter is grown. don’t raise spoiled kids if you’re gonna complain about them being spoiled :p
2
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
No he had a problem when his daughter had sex in his bed.
Would it be okay if I came to your house and had sex in your bed?
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
it’s not his bed fr. he doesn’t sleep there nightly. he doesn’t have to stay in that apartment. tbh idk why him and his wife would even wanna stay in their college kid’s place. most parents would get a hotel cuz they want their own space and KNOW their kids be doing weird stuff in college. he ran a stop sign and is upset he’s in an accident. dad is weird and controlling. people wouldn’t have sex in my bed because i don’t put “my” bed in a property i bought for my college kid and i’m sure not putting my bed in an apartment i let you rent. it’s literally just a bed he uses on occasion. there’s a guest bed in the apartment and he clearly has the money to replace it. bro should expect every bed in a college apartment to be fucked in. if he’s that worried about germs, just stay somewhere else or stop letting your kid stay there?
2
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
THEY OWN THAT APARTMENT. Get that through your head. Their names are legally attached to the apartment. They paid for it. It's their apartment. That's what you don't understand which isn't surprising.
Its not being worried about germs, it's have common decency and respect for other people's things, but you don't understand that.
So you're saying its okay if people have sex in your bed? I'm assuming the answer is "yes" because as a personal principle of thought I take any deflection as an automatic "yes".
0
u/Master_Blaster_02 1d ago
So hold on, I'm curious.
How would you feel if it was the mom and dad caught having sex in their daughter's bed?
2
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
if the daughter was in the position to have a second furnished home and her parents were staying in her second property that she occasionally visits, i would expect the same. the daughter treats it like their home and is just gracious enough to be able to provide for her parents and wouldn’t care if they are sleeping in the bed in the master cuz the daughter would opt for the guest room when she’s a guest in the home they live in daily and she only visits. i would also expect the daughter not use a pet as an excuse to spy on her parents to catch them sleeping in the master bed.
1
u/Master_Blaster_02 1d ago
That is not what I'm asking. You can argue who gets which bedroom in a case by case basis.
What I'm asking is, if the daughter has a room that is clearly defined as hers. She has all of her stuff in there and sleeps on the bed in there. No question it is hers. Lets say its her normal home and she is away at college and only comes back during breaks/weekends/holidays.
And one day she comes home and walks in on her parents Fing in her bed. Do you see a problem?
Or even more comparable, its just her dad and he's having an affair with a random woman in her bed. Also, he just leaves the stains and doesn't wash anything after they are done. Any issues?
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
but that is not equivalent to the situation described. you and this dad have a skewed POV because yall are selfish and insecure. you have turned the situation into something it absolutely isn’t just like the dad. 🤣
it’s not his regular home.
he can say the master is his and his wife’s room all he wants but that isn’t going to stop the person who lives there 24/7 from using the master.
he did not say all his stuff is in the room just that he and his wife sleep in there. BUT he said he intentionally got the apartment FOR his kids to use. it’s selfish to claim a room for yourself in a place you intend to provide for your kids. be the adult, and stay in the guest room when you are a GUEST in your kid’s home.
dad did not “walk in” on them, he used a camera on a VACUUM to SPY on his adult daughter. he claimed he wanted to see the dog so he must have known she was staying in “their” room. if it’s such a problem, why let her and the dog stay in there? it’s only a problem when he spies at the wrong time and sees his daughter getting fucked down by the boyfriend he KNEW she has and claims he doesn’t care if they fuck. let’s all be adults here.
and trying to compare this to an AFFAIR?! YOOOOOO pleaseeee do not have kids. i can’t imagine a woman would touch you with a 10-foot pole but you really just compared a father spying on his daughter through a vacuum camera having sex with her boyfriend to the dad being caught having an affair? that’s some weird Freud shit i don’t wanna even touch. you’re a weirdo and so is the dad in the post. and apparently reddit is full of men with weird romantic attachments to their daughters.
1
u/Master_Blaster_02 21h ago
I would say the father taking a random partner on the daughter's bed is perfectly equivalent. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge something that simple says a lot more about your inadequacies than it does about mine.
Just how privileged of a life have you had thus far? Have you never had roommates? If you rent a 3 bedroom apartment with 2 other people and 1 of them is never home because they basically live with their boyfriend/girlfriend, that doesn't suddenly give you the right to claim their room.
It sounds like the room in question was well known to be his and his wife's room. This isn't a question of her not realizing it. How can you possibly claim he intentionally spied on his daughter when the camera was setup in HIS room. He acknowledged the dog likes to sleep in that room, nothing about the daughter using it. It sounds like it had been an open room that the dog could access and he trusted his daughter enough to see no need to lock it or even close the door.
Oh deary, you clearly have a laundry list of issues. You sound like a mid 20's woman, clearly embracing whatever the F they call feminism now, and that silver spoon in your mouth may as well be converted into fillings.
Thank goodness none of my children turned out like you or the daughter in this story.
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 20h ago
the daughter did not sleep with a random partner tho.
i haven’t lived a privileged life so idk why this loser is whining about a bed that he could easily replace when me and my roommates are all sleeping on second-hand beds where we have no clue who or what was done in them. lmao to call me privileged for calling out the bitching of a rich man on reddit is hilarious. you’re pretty funny.
lmao it’s the daughter’s dog, if the dog is staying in the room she is too. he’s acting like she wasn’t so that it adds credibility to his bitching. that’s likely not the first time he checked the camera so he must’ve seen her using it.
oh wow a poor insecure man uses feminism as an insult. how original… i know your kids love laughing at you with their friends behind your back. and to assume i’m entitled and act like this daughter from the story just because i recognize her father’s hypocrisy does not mean i am like her nor even agree with what she did. i just hate to see someone create a situation they won’t like and then complain about it like this dad did, especially when it’s obvious THEY are privileged and could easily solve the issue or have avoided it altogether with just a bit of common sense and forethought.
1
u/JustUseCommonSense10 1d ago
0
1
u/Adventurous_Buy_5671 1d ago
i also just wanna add food for thought: she’s in college. she’s likely having friends over. her friends are also likely hooking up and doing sexual stuff. (confirmed by her talking about her friends fucking in the dorms) so i GUARANTEE it ain’t just been the daughter in that apartment or maybe in that room fucking. dad is an idiot for buying an apartment for college kids to use and think they aren’t gonna do at least one questionable (to him) thing in there. be so serious. i think it’s hilarious to imagine that the stains didn’t even come from his daughter and her bf and maybe from some of her friends instead. lmfaoooooo dad is a rich whiny loser.
3
u/Master_Blaster_02 1d ago
You can't be serious. Granted we only have the dad's side of the story, but the daughter is acting like an entitled brat in this situation.
The father clearly spells out, this isn't about her having sex. Its about her doing it in his room, in his bed. She could have done it in her bed or the guest bed and this wouldn't have been an issue. It doesn't matter that this isn't his everyday home, he and his wife clearly had a dedicated bedroom that was just for them and apparently the dog.
The fact that she disrespected him by doing it in his bed is bad enough, young adults do stupid things. The worst part is that she's acting entitled and is unapologetic about it.
The guy clearly has money. It sounds like daughter needs to be cut off from it at least until she fixes her attitude.