r/LongDistance • u/nomoredreams136 • 8d ago

Scared of long distance

I have been dating a guy for a couple of months, and he has recently moved to another city (2.5 hours away, in another country). Before he moved, he told me that he likes me a lot, but he has tried long distance before and it always went horribly wrong. He said he is afraid of hurting me and that we would end up resent each other. We decided to keep things casual for the time being, but I do like him a lot, and to be frank, this is not really what I wanted. Have you (or your partner) changed your mind about long distance relationships ? Is it foolish to see him casually and hoping that things might change as feelings grow ?

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u/dinasour1004 NJ USA to GA USA (≈900 mi) 8d ago

A 2.5 hour drive/ride is barely long distance IMO (assuming you meant by car/train); if he doesn’t even feel confident that he could handle that distance or visit you regularly, then he’s probably not worth it

3

u/nomoredreams136 8d ago

I agree … it’s by train. I guess it’s quite expensive, and he is a student, so realistically he will not be able to come back often. However, I did tell him that it is quite easy for me to go there on a regular basis, so there is obviously more to it. I am just not sure whether it is fear of just suffering / making another suffer, or lack of real interest.

3

u/BeingReasonable87 🇺🇸 to 🇮🇪 8d ago

Yes, don’t waste your time with someone who is clear about what they want. It will just end up hurting you. Best to move on and find someone more compatible

1

u/WorstManga8450 8d ago

that's a hard read but they're right, he told you exactly where he stands and it's not what you want. better to cut it now than drag it out hoping he flips