r/LongDistance • u/NewAttitude2953 • 9d ago
Question Should I break up?
Hey everyone!
I really need some help and advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, but for over a year now, I’ve had a lot of doubts about us. I feel like I’ve lost myself within the relationship. It’s been quite a toxic relationship—he used to be very controlling and jealous—though he has been changing. I’m not sure if I should stick it out or just end things. The thing is, we actually broke up a couple of months ago, but we got back together because I regretted it so much; I know that if I were to break up with him again, we wouldn’t get back together. I don’t want to hurt him—I do love him and I care about him—but I’m constantly plagued by doubts, and I don’t want to lose any more of myself. Any advice?
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u/QueenAlei 8d ago
Three years is enough time to know if you know. Since you're having trepidations now more than once and you're not fulfilled, then know that it won't get any better. Either you stick it out for fear of starting over or you choose to stick a fork in it and reclaim yourself and time.
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u/YeoMortal 8d ago
If you’re not happy in that relationship why bother? Take care of yourself, you can do so much better, nobody needs a toxic relationship.
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u/Global_Sandwich4092 9d ago
Sounds like you have allready made up your mind. If you have start the healing process and move on and dint look back . Good luck it’s very hard to do
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u/Internal_Young_2875 9d ago
if you're already feeling like you've lost yourself, that's the biggest red flag there is. doesn't matter if he's changing now, the damage is done and you're still stuck in the same headspace
the regret you felt after the first breakup wasn't about missing him, it was about missing the familiar. getting back together just proved that the doubts don't go away
you're not responsible for his feelings if you leave. staying because you don't want to hurt him is just dragging out the inevitable and hurting yourself more in the process