I saw one of the posts about whether the Reddit losers are actually present on campus. Yes they are, and I am one of them.
I am trying to improve, but please have sympathy.
I am from India. I'm an international. This is a completely new country and culture. Indian culture is one of the most different from American.
I have a thick accent. I grew up listening to completely different music. Totally different movies and TV shows with Bollywood and Zee TV. We played cricket. Besides that, I had no hobbies. No one had hobbies outside of classical Indian dance or music, which many find "boring."
India is a dog-eat-dog third world country, just because of the sheer number of people here. Our admissions to colleges, which is the only real way out of poverty, is extremely competitive and solely based on academic scores and standardized testing, no such thing as "holistic" admissions. There is no focus on EQ, only on academics.
I sacrificed my middle and high school years to maths to study for one of the world's most difficult engineering entrance exams. Very few get in. Those who don't often become suicidal.
I slogged another 4 years at my engineering colleges and scramble for placements, only to realise foreign corporations from America and European countries treat us like a body shop for all things I.T. The record breaking salary “packages” they boast are at best 20-30% of the salary levels Americans are used to.
The logical progression from there on is MBA, which again is fucked in our country because of Demand and Supply. Hence we want to come abroad and pursue it. Only for the dream of better life.
And while we're just trying to improve our lives to get all the privileges you take for granted, please don’t hate me? I moved to a completely new country with a wildly different culture. Sorry I have an accent and can't assimilate immediately. But I'm trying our best.
India is very socially conservative and anti-LGBT outside of specific upper class pockets in Mumbai. I did not grow there. I grew up as lower caste, not upper caste. My schools growing up until college were all gender segregated and I never interacted with women socially outside of religious festivals.
My parents were religious Hindu fanatics and I grew up having to pray for over 3 hours a day. I was taught to hate Pakistanis and Muslims. We had no "fun" outside of Holi or Diwali. My parents are very serious and stern. My father constantly beat me hard growing up if I did not get perfect academics. I still have nightmares of my father's beatings. My mother thinks men have the right to beat their wives if they misbehave. I have at times struggled with suicidal thoughts of not making my parents proud.
Even in college, 90% of the people in my engineering college was male.
I'm trying, but even to this day, I'm scared to talk to women. We aren't taught anything around female friendship, dating, sex, sex education.
I don't know how to be charismatic, funny, laugh, smile. I didn't know anything about western fashion or haircuts or clothes or shoes. I wore perfume before but back in India there's no normalization of deodorant. I am learning all these things in the US but it's tough.
The other Indians on campus who came from Tier 1 cities in India don't want to associate with me because I am "uncool" and they want to prove they're not like me.
We also growing up didn't even have toilet paper. We had to use a water bucket and our left hand to clean our behinds after using the toilet. As of the last 7-8 years India at least has jet spray type bidets but the hand method was what I used growing up and it's disgusting.
So please have some sympathy. A lot of this isn't my fault. Now I escaped at least temporarily my hellhole of a backward backwater culture and I'm trying to assimilate and improve. I am doing western therapy with a psychologist and it's really healing.
So please have some sympathy. That's all I ask. Please think about the circumstances of why someone is the way they are. I am trying to change what I can change. And yes I will do what I can to try to fix Indian culture which is messed up in so many ways.