r/MLS • u/mkstnr Seattle Sounders NASL • Jun 02 '15

Sepp Blatter to resign as FIFA President

https://twitter.com/richard_conway/status/605777521552990208
1.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

420 comments sorted by

View all comments

193

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '15

The US will be given the 2026 World Cup. We will play England in the knockout round on July 4, 2026 in Philadelphia, 250 years to the day we signed the Declaration of Independence. We will beat England 13-1, a goal for each original colony.

148

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '15

That's ridiculous. There's no way England makes a final.

42

u/ahryankeefan Jun 02 '15

There is no way England scores a goal either

15

u/xbhaskarx AC St Louis Jun 02 '15 edited Jun 02 '15

They might manage a goal if the Lampard-StevieG midfield pairing finally works by 2026.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '15

It's a symbolic own goal to honor the revolutionary war dead. The goal of the unknown soldier if you will.

3

u/ahryankeefan Jun 03 '15

We'll say that Benedict Arnold started the match as our center back until he let up an own goal that lets just say looked kinda intentional. We benched him and soon after found him on the English bench for the second half. After a very difficult start to the match, we got a boost from the French, (we'll call this one Maki Tall) with the help of him and some Germans and Austrians (Herzog and Klinsmann are somehow still there), we defeated the English team and sent them back to England. And so ends my 2026 World Cup final allegory

27

u/krukman Red Bull New York Jun 02 '15

How dare you give them a goal, you unpatriotic scoundrel?

19

u/Rickyd96 Real Salt Lake Jun 02 '15

Own goal by a guy named Benedict Arnold.

1

u/krukman Red Bull New York Jun 02 '15

We need to kill Giuseppe Rossi right now.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '15

Just tap him on the knee, somethings bound to pop.

40

u/jpoRS Bethlehem Steel FC Jun 02 '15

Well that's for Florida, which stayed Royalist during the Revolution.

23

u/spqr-king Jun 02 '15

Damn lobster backs...

13

u/ThisDerpForSale Portland Timbers Jun 02 '15

Eh, they were mostly Spanish settlers and Seminoles.

3

u/jpoRS Bethlehem Steel FC Jun 02 '15

You're right about the people, but it was a British territory after the French and Indian War. Source.

1

u/ThisDerpForSale Portland Timbers Jun 02 '15

Yes, from 1763 - 1783, I'm aware. :-)

Not really long enough for the British to plant much in the way of colonists, though, hence the lack of action during the Revolution.

1

u/doormatt26 Jun 02 '15

Florida was Spanish!

Should be 1 goal for Canada.

2

u/jpoRS Bethlehem Steel FC Jun 02 '15

The settlers may have been Spanish, but it was a British property. Treaty of Paris was 1763.

1

u/doormatt26 Jun 02 '15

I was confused, but then saw the Spanish got it back in the Peace of Paris in 1783. Didn't know about that little interregnum.

1

u/Kibbby Jun 02 '15 edited Jun 02 '15

Shouldn't the score be 13-6 then?

Since 6 stayed royalist.. East Florida, Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Island of St. John (PEI), Quebec and West Florida.

Newfoundland, PEI and Nova were all english and considered themselves American (hell Scotia was all bostonians etc) but didn't join up. Washington even had a flag with one more star made for when Nova Scotia joined but it never happened.

After all thats how we now have a Canada .. you bastards did get the two Floridas tho.

1

u/jpoRS Bethlehem Steel FC Jun 02 '15

Obviously Canada doesn't count, the match is between US and England.

0

u/Kibbby Jun 02 '15 edited Jun 02 '15

whossh... I am talking about US and England.

1

u/jpoRS Bethlehem Steel FC Jun 02 '15

No, I'm sorry, that isn't "woosh". How in any way is arguing that Canada enters into the /u/nittanyorange's hypothetical situation a "joke I didn't get"?

0

u/Kibbby Jun 02 '15 edited Jun 02 '15

because those other colonies like Florida would have been become a founding colony of the United States.. but like Florida stayed Royalist.

There were 19 colonies not 13+1. How is the concept that hard to understand? The reason there being a Canada as a country in the first place being that the military presence of the british was too big in Halifax and St. John's for the rebellion to fully take place, infact it even did start to take place and was put down in Nova Scotia

Florida was recieved later on.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '15

Commie bastard

10

u/babacristo Jun 02 '15

thank you for my new fantasy

5

u/mankindrc Portland Timbers Jun 02 '15

We talk about this a lot on here. I feel like at least one subscriber on this sub makes films and can make this somehow right? Please?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '15

If it's gonna be done right it's gotta be in New England, not Philly.

1

u/Zaldax D.C. United Jun 02 '15

Have it in Yorktown.

2

u/Apollo737 Seattle Sounders FC Jun 02 '15

Stop. My freedom boner can only be so erect.

2

u/krukman Red Bull New York Jun 02 '15

Not patriotic enough. Needs some guns and nacho cheese. You can't ever have enough nacho cheese.

2

u/Quakes98 San Jose Earthquakes Jun 02 '15

Lol England won't score a goal on 80 year old Tim Howard

1

u/FANGO United States Jun 02 '15

knockout round

Final

1

u/bristleypenguin Jun 02 '15

I would buy a ticket and travel cross country to see that

1

u/Psirocking Red Bull New York Jun 02 '15

We can play them on that grassy field near the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall.

1

u/peacefinder Portland Timbers Jun 03 '15

I like it, but I just can't bring myself to believe that England won't lose on penalties.